Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

I have a floor lamp with 3 smart lightbulbs.

Every day around noon, without fail, one of the bulbs turns on for no reason.  And it's always a different bulb.  There are no timers set for any of the lights. 

Jesus Christ............ meth is so 2020...

[elfenix 34,241]

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Even more impactful for a larger company. Look to see what Amazon does. You don't get a "correct" size box from Amazon. Ever.

You don't want a guy who is packaging running around your warehouse looking for "the right" box. 

i'm about 99.99% certain that amazon has a computer that knows what boxes are in the warehouse and what the dimensions of the shipped item are and specifies exactly which box it should be shipped in.  same as sticking items in seemingly random cubbies in each warehouse.  amazon isn't letting bob eyeball which box the item should go into. 

Edited June 10, 2021 by elfenix

[Prepuce of Doom 21,073]

52 minutes ago, elfenix said:

i'm about 99.99% certain that amazon has a computer that knows what boxes are in the warehouse and what the dimensions of the shipped item are and specifies exactly which box it should be shipped in.  same as sticking items in seemingly random cubbies in each warehouse.  amazon isn't letting bob eyeball which box the item should go into. 

One time Bob accidentally left his very well-used box cutter in a package of mine and when I noticed it, I immediately thought "sweet, free murder weapon with some random stranger's fingerprints all over it!" but then Mrs. Doom touched it before I could stop her. 

Oh well. 

[Sam Lin 3,559]

Maybe he was trying to dispose of a murder weapon and you played right in to his plan?

[Prepuce of Doom 21,073]

Perhaps, but I would have expected some amount of gore and gristle if that was the case. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,781]

I’m not sure if I posted it in this thread or in the snack foods thread or somewhere else. But I once complained that Planters mixed nuts didn’t include Brazil nuts anymore. I like those. A few days ago I bought a can of Planters mixed nuts that said on the label that it included Brazil nuts. Whoopee!

There were two in the can. Two. That’s all. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,073]

52 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I’m not sure if I posted it in this thread or in the snack foods thread or somewhere else. But I once complained that Planters mixed nuts didn’t include Brazil nuts anymore. I like those. A few days ago I bought a can of Planters mixed nuts that said on the label that it included Brazil nuts. Whoopee!

There were two in the can. Two. That’s all. 

Username checks out. 

Brazil nuts are stingily apportioned among mixed nuts to avoid accidental selenium overdose. 

Edited June 11, 2021 by Prepuce of Doom
Deez nuts

[WhatTheBuck 28,781]

10 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Username checks out. 

Brazil nuts are stingily apportioned among mixed nuts to avoid accidental selenium overdose. 

There used to be a lot more of them in a can of mixed nuts than zero or two. Maybe you’re too young and inexperienced to know that. I’ll try to give you the benefit of the doubt. But I wouldn’t be commenting about it if that weren’t the case.

Also, username doesn’t check out because Buckeye nuts are poisonous and nobody in their right mind would ever eat them. Go ahead and try to prove me wrong. Then I could accurately say, “Username checks out.”

[DigglerontheHoof 21,199]

18 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

There used to be a lot more of them in a can of mixed nuts than zero or two. Maybe you’re too young and inexperienced to know that. I’ll try to give you the benefit of the doubt. But I wouldn’t be commenting about it if that weren’t the case.

Also, username doesn’t check out because Buckeye nuts are poisonous and nobody in their right mind would ever eat them. Go ahead and try to prove me wrong. Then I could accurately say, “Username checks out.”

Brazil nuts are nasty and, by far, my least favorite nut; it used to irritate me to no end, how much their numbers dominated the mixed nut cans. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,073]

24 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

There used to be a lot more of them in a can of mixed nuts than zero or two. Maybe you’re too young and inexperienced to know that. I’ll try to give you the benefit of the doubt. But I wouldn’t be commenting about it if that weren’t the case.

Also, username doesn’t check out because Buckeye nuts are poisonous and nobody in their right mind would ever eat them. Go ahead and try to prove me wrong. Then I could accurately say, “Username checks out.”

I bow in reverence to your aged nut wisdom. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,781]

3 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Brazil nuts are nasty and, by far, my least favorite nut; it used to irritate me to no end, how much their numbers dominated the mixed nut cans. 

That’s fine if you feel that way. A lot of people don’t like them. I’ll buy a jar of peanuts or a bag of almonds. I wouldn’t buy just Brazil nuts or cashews. Probably not hazelnuts either but that might be negotiable. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that as a possibility but they sort of fall in the middle, I suppose. I can eat a jar of macadamia nuts or a bag of pistachios. Neither of those belong in a can of mixed nuts.

But if you’re advertising your mixed nuts as including Brazil nuts and only including two nuts in the can (yeah, yeah, I get the obvious joke there) then that’s false advertising. And if someone argues that it’s justified because they’re dangerous then that person kind of looks like a fool. Include them or don’t. Don’t half-ass it. 

[Trey3216 15,346]

12 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Maybe he was trying to dispose of a murder weapon and you played right in to his plan?

This is Amazon, not FedEx/USPS  

[RDCanecutter 26,443]

Motherfucking contractors trying to pad an invoice with no explanation. And I know any explanation would also be bullshit. But at least it would show effort.

[elfenix 34,241]

only trivial because i'm not the one it's happening to:

first friday off for a newly 9/80 job and a friend of mine is being asked to work

[Enchubben 5,510]

Women and children taking remotes around the house and leaving them. I spend way too much time hunting them down. They need some sort of find my remote app.

[Superhero 8,830]

I had a kid who did really well my estimating department, but he needed field experience, so we put him a jobsite expecting to get him back in a few years.

We've been talking about getting him back since middle of last year - every time it's a promise of a few more months to do one more thing...  I found out today that he quit to work as an estimator at a different company. I am FUCKING PISSED because he was a really good worker, WANTED to come back to my department, but fucking management fucked him around, and now he's doing exactly what both he and I wanted him to do, but at a different company.

I'm drinking heavily tonight.

[mininghorn88 2,291]

Creating in depth presentations to report to management and others what you are working on that end up taking more time to create than it did to finish the task at hand itself.

[Okie State 3,821]

Creating in depth presentations to report to management and others what you are working on that end up taking more time to create than it did to finish the task at hand itself.

I do financial outlooks for the businesses I support. It usually takes me anywhere from 30 minutes to a couple hours sitting down with the GM's to come to an agreement on what the number should be. It then takes me days...literally multiple days...to get that number loaded into our system for reporting. On top of that, right now we are converting to a new system so I get to load that number twice. This is real value add work here.

[nnm 36,405]

3 minutes ago, Okie State said:

I do financial outlooks for the businesses I support. It usually takes me anywhere from 30 minutes to a couple hours sitting down with the GM's to come to an agreement on what the number should be. It then takes me days...literally multiple days...to get that number loaded into our system for reporting. On top of that, right now we are converting to a new system so I get to load that number twice. This is real value add work here.

[After irth 1,243]

18 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

That’s fine if you feel that way. A lot of people don’t like them. I’ll buy a jar of peanuts or a bag of almonds. I wouldn’t buy just Brazil nuts or cashews. Probably not hazelnuts either but that might be negotiable. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that as a possibility but they sort of fall in the middle, I suppose. I can eat a jar of macadamia nuts or a bag of pistachios. Neither of those belong in a can of mixed nuts.

But if you’re advertising your mixed nuts as including Brazil nuts and only including two nuts in the can (yeah, yeah, I get the obvious joke there) then that’s false advertising. And if someone argues that it’s justified because they’re dangerous then that person kind of looks like a fool. Include them or don’t. Don’t half-ass it. 

Goddam...that is truly trivial.  Well done!

[Scheiss Meister 8,408]

19 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

That’s fine if you feel that way. A lot of people don’t like them. I’ll buy a jar of peanuts or a bag of almonds. I wouldn’t buy just Brazil nuts or cashews. Probably not hazelnuts either but that might be negotiable. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that as a possibility but they sort of fall in the middle, I suppose. I can eat a jar of macadamia nuts or a bag of pistachios. Neither of those belong in a can of mixed nuts.

But if you’re advertising your mixed nuts as including Brazil nuts and only including two nuts in the can (yeah, yeah, I get the obvious joke there) then that’s false advertising. And if someone argues that it’s justified because they’re dangerous then that person kind of looks like a fool. Include them or don’t. Don’t half-ass it. 

This reminds me of the scene in Best Little Whorehouse where Melvin P. Thorpe is telling the sherriff about his successful crusade to get the candy bar maker to put all of the nuts in each candy bar that they advertise. "I'm not talking pieces; I mean full nuts!" as he stuffs socks down his rhinestoned out pants and puts on his ridiculous hat.  Full nuts!

[immortal13 4,059]

When people refer to their pets as "fur babies"

[thunderlounge 7,834]

13 hours ago, Enchubben said:

Women and children taking remotes around the house and leaving them. I spend way too much time hunting them down. They need some sort of find my remote app.

 

https://www.thetileapp.com/en-us/

[mininghorn88 2,291]

50 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

When people refer to their pets as "fur babies"

And people that refer to their kid’s pets as “grand dogs”, etc.

[conVINCEd 21,469]

56 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

When people women refer to their pets as "fur babies"

Fify.  Ain’t no man ever said such a thing.

[deadshank 24,653]

[deadshank 24,653]

And then find the pinhole leak in the blue dye bottle too late when mixing herbicide.  I’m marked for life!  

[Patricio Swayze 17,058]

And then find the pinhole leak in the blue dye bottle too late when mixing herbicide.  I’m marked for life!  

Way to cover your tracks about that bank robbery.

[deadshank 24,653]

14 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Way to cover your tracks about that bank robbery.

Think the cops will believe it?

[Guest]

Watching Astros at Twins on Fox tonight.  Thunderstorms/ rain are predicted to hit the area around 10PM tonight.

They have the notice in the upper right corner of the screen, but that's not enough.  Gotta beep some tones like every 60 seconds.

If a motherfucker can't look out the window and tell that it is raining, then fuck em.  That shit is going to be going  for the whole game because... dumbasses.

[MaybeACoordinator 8,349]

On 6/11/2021 at 1:57 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

That’s fine if you feel that way. A lot of people don’t like them. I’ll buy a jar of peanuts or a bag of almonds. I wouldn’t buy just Brazil nuts or cashews. Probably not hazelnuts either but that might be negotiable. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen that as a possibility but they sort of fall in the middle, I suppose. I can eat a jar of macadamia nuts or a bag of pistachios. Neither of those belong in a can of mixed nuts.

But if you’re advertising your mixed nuts as including Brazil nuts and only including two nuts in the can (yeah, yeah, I get the obvious joke there) then that’s false advertising. And if someone argues that it’s justified because they’re dangerous then that person kind of looks like a fool. Include them or don’t. Don’t half-ass it. 

 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

17 hours ago, deadshank said:

And then find the pinhole leak in the blue dye bottle too late when mixing herbicide.  I’m marked for life!  

How long will it take for that to wear off your dick ??

[deadshank 24,653]

9 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

How long will it take for that to wear off your dick ??

I use my other hand. 
 

Duh. 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

52 minutes ago, deadshank said:

I use my other hand. 
 

Duh. 

Well played, but doesn't your other hand get jealous ?

[RPM 26,321]

Dipshits that schedule mandatory training without considering 3rd shift has to fucking sleep.

[Guest]

4 hours ago, RPM said:

Dipshits that schedule mandatory training without considering 3rd shift has to fucking sleep.

is it immediately following your shift, or do they want you go home and then return for the training, and then go home again?

[RPM 26,321]

4 hours ago, slorch said:

or do they want you go home and then return for the training, and then go home again?

Bingo

[Sam Lin 3,559]

Hint: to most of management, 3rd shift does not exist.

[Superhero 8,830]

On 6/12/2021 at 11:54 AM, deadshank said:

And then find the pinhole leak in the blue dye bottle too late when mixing herbicide.  I’m marked for life!  

Stop jerking off smurfs.

[GottaB 594]

Fucking ziploc-esque resealable closures on food products that don’t easily reseal. It’s 50 year old tech these bastards can’t get right.

[Sandman 3,403]

I walked by my coworker's desk as he's on a teams meeting. I hear a woman say "Whew, monday. I need a weekend to recover from my weekend, hahaha!".

Rage. 

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

16 minutes ago, Sandman said:

I walked by my coworker's desk as he's on a teams meeting. I hear a woman say "Whew, monday. I need a weekend to recover from my weekend, hahaha!".

Rage. 

[nnm 36,405]

4 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

[Underdog 28,641]

And that’s the chick who usually gets plastered at the office Xmas party and sits with her panties off on the copier.  

[WhatTheBuck 28,781]

15 hours ago, GottaB said:

Fucking ziploc-esque resealable closures on food products that don’t easily reseal. It’s 50 year old tech these bastards can’t get right.

Corollary: every bag of chips should come in a zip-lock sealable bag. 

[TexasHooch 5,122]

Here's a test:  Speak out loud the word "warranty".

Spoiler

If you put the emphasis on the last syllable instead of the first, you are a bad person and you should feel bad.

 

[elfenix 34,241]

Some poor pig had to die for this:

[Bender Bending Rodriguez 1,678]

22 minutes ago, elfenix said:

Some poor pig had to die for this:
 

[Underdog 28,641]

Well that Audrey died, so...  too soon?  

[Gatorubet 30,239]

And then find the pinhole leak in the blue dye bottle too late when mixing herbicide.  I’m marked for life!