Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[elfenix 34747]

when i forget that the next day is a new contacts day. so i put my contacts away only to toss them and the solution in the morning.  wasteful.

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

7 hours ago, elfenix said:

when i forget that the next day is a new contacts day. so i put my contacts away only to toss them and the solution in the morning.  wasteful.

I had an old plastic colander that I finally got around to replacing. I threw it away clean. It wasn’t until later when it dawned on me that I should’ve used it to drain the fat from browned grown beef one last time before tossing it in the trash. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

James Corden. 

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

*ground

Damn spellcheck. 

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Jeep owners waiving at each other.

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

33 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Jeep owners waiving at each other.

"Jeep Culture"

Fuck off, cracker.

[nnm 37903]

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

"Jeep Culture"

Fuck off, cracker.

If you own a basic jeep and use it at the farm/ranch, or tow it on vacation, good for you. If you’re driving a 100,000+ mod jeep-like vehicle, you’re just a dipshit. 

[deadshank 24654]

On 2/12/2022 at 8:40 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

I had an old plastic colander that I finally got around to replacing. I threw it away clean. It wasn’t until later when it dawned on me that I should’ve used it to drain the fat from browned grown beef one last time before tossing it in the trash. 

Also, you could have turned it upside down and used it as a base for your candles. 

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

12 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Also, you could have turned it upside down and used it as a base for your candles. 

Har har. Clever. But no, I couldn’t have for two reasons. First, one of the main reasons for using a base for your candle is to prevent any melted wax that might drip from running onto your furniture. Think! You’re obviously a candle novice. The other reason is that the handles on the colander would’ve prevented it from providing a stable, level surface in an inverted position even if one of them hadn’t been partially melted in the dishwasher. But thanks for playing.

I recently saw that LED candles are a thing. What kind of an abomination is that? Maybe you could use one as a night light in a kid’s room. I wonder if there’s a “flicker” setting. Because flickering candle light can be pretty cool. But then so can a flame that sits perfectly motionless, unchanging in size and shape.

Keep your wicks trimmed and candle on, brothers and sisters!

[Paper_jam 851]

Austin trash collection is seriously fucking with me. If I have a small item or small extra bag of garbage in the trash can, they always leave it or put it back in the can. I don't know how they actually empty the cans, I thought they use a mechanical arm that turns the can over and shakes everything out, but however they do it, is not fucking working. Today I had a small second bag on top of a kitchen-size bag underneath it. Somehow the large bag (on the bottom) is gone but the small bag of shit is still in the can. That's impossible unless one of their workers put it back in my can instead of throwing it in the truck. Do they have an official policy of refusing to collect trash in "nonstandard" bags or containers? If this was a one-off I wouldn't care, but it's happening almost every week now. Next time I'm going to stand on the fucking curb all day and scream at them "TAKE MY SHIT. TAKE IT ALL."

[Biff Tannen 46163]

People who loudly discuss their investment portfolios in airports should be beaten with a bag of oranges. 

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

People who loudly discuss their investment portfolios in airports should be beaten with a bag of oranges. 

Flying with Rex?

[Underdog 29168]

When EF Hutton talks, people listen. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

14 hours ago, Paper_jam said:

Austin trash collection is seriously fucking with me. If I have a small item or small extra bag of garbage in the trash can, they always leave it or put it back in the can. I don't know how they actually empty the cans, I thought they use a mechanical arm that turns the can over and shakes everything out, but however they do it, is not fucking working. Today I had a small second bag on top of a kitchen-size bag underneath it. Somehow the large bag (on the bottom) is gone but the small bag of shit is still in the can. That's impossible unless one of their workers put it back in my can instead of throwing it in the truck. Do they have an official policy of refusing to collect trash in "nonstandard" bags or containers? If this was a one-off I wouldn't care, but it's happening almost every week now. Next time I'm going to stand on the fucking curb all day and scream at them "TAKE MY SHIT. TAKE IT ALL."

Shall we all argue for a few pages about putting dog poop bags into other people's dumpsters? 

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

13 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

People who loudly discuss their investment portfolios in airports should be beaten with a bag of oranges. 

*Softly whispers: Sarbanes-Oxley

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

16 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Shall we all argue for a few pages about putting dog poop bags into other people's dumpsters? 

Again?

[HRSchenker 2340]

People who tell stories and sprinkle "yeah?" or "right?" in them and stop the flow if you don't answer them. Goddammit let me listen to your story uninterrupted.

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

You know?

[Guest Lobo]

15 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

People who loudly discuss their investment portfolios in airports should be beaten with a bag of oranges. 

It's obviously a HIPAA violation! 

As for the people who sprinkle in "yeah" and "right" in a story, I'll take any day over grown adults using the word "Like" three times in a single sentence, and never in the correct manner.  If people could hear themselves speaking in public...my god.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2779]

Documents sent for completion in PDF format.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22287]

Quit using the free version of adobe and try fillable pdf forms

[Storm the Field 5366]

Wife has been planning to visit her family in Louisiana and let me have the house to myself for the weekend for over 2 months now and it still hasn't happened.

3 different Fridays, including today, have started off with me thinking I'm coming home after work to an evening of beer, video games, and glorious solitude, only to be informed either one of my in-laws tested positive for COVID or my nephew brought a bug home from pre-school and is making everyone else sick. She just started a new job about a month ago, is busy as hell and fully in "I CAN NOT AFFORD TO GET SICK RIGHT NOW" mode.

This weekend's trip has now been rescheduled to next weekend (when I'll be out of town and not here to enjoy it, and we'll have to board our dogs since no one will be home). 

[RPM 26621]

On 1/27/2022 at 1:14 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

My Mom bought a set of 1962 World Book and had the yearly update for several years. Would kill to get my hands on them now. One thin g that stood out to me was highlighting Great Southwest International as the world's most modern jet airport. 10 years or so later it wouldn't even exist.

[52-80 19377]

Websites with cookies pop-up giving you 2 choices:

 

"YES, accept all cookies"

"NO, let me browse to website with all cookies"

['stache 22131]

Roadside memorials that are perpetual. At first, sure, if it helps you grieve, no problem whatsoever. But years later? Nobody who drives by except your tiny circle of people knows what it's about or anything about the deceased. The one in particular that irks me is at a nearby intersection and apparently that person wasn't even killed in traffic, he was murdered in a house down the street. It was over 5 years ago and every fucking week they add shit. They even graffiti'd a nearby underpass for a few years until I guess someone finally made them stop. And from what I read, this wasn't a well known humanitarian or anything, just some schlub who got hisself shot in a fight. Nobody else cares dude.

[52-80 19377]

43 minutes ago, 'stache said:

. The one in particular that irks me is at a nearby intersection and apparently that person wasn't even killed in traffic, he was murdered in a house down the street.

Weird thing to laugh at but i chuckled heartily

[Brothahorn 10097]

When you go to the 'hood' grocery store and they are out of summer sausage. Man, WTF!

A brotha needs his cervelat and crackers.

[Longhornstampede 3213]

The motherfucker with a gypsy accent driving THIS truck asking me for some gas money so he can "make it it back home" 

[Superhero 9017]

On 2/4/2022 at 12:05 PM, Buzzrock said:

It’s a bitch when the milk catches the corn flake just right too

Happened to me this morning. Ruined the rest of the day. 

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

42 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Happened to me this morning. Ruined the rest of the day. 

Don’t cry over it.

[CooterBrown 18287]

Ordered something online. USPS ships it from Austin, to DFW, to get to Austin.

[Js1 87176]

On 2/18/2022 at 8:09 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Shall we all argue for a few pages about putting dog poop bags into other people's dumpsters? 

Wait can I get a point of clarification on this? If my dog shits in your yard and it’s trash day and your cans are out, can I bag it and drop it in your can if trash is coming today or will you go inspect your can before they empty it?

I’d never put it in someone’s empty can, but if it’s at the curb for trash day, seems not a big deal 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

7 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Wait can I get a point of clarification on this? If my dog shits in your yard and it’s trash day and your cans are out, can I bag it and drop it in your can if trash is coming today or will you go inspect your can before they empty it?

I’d never put it in someone’s empty can, but if it’s at the curb for trash day, seems not a big deal 

If you put the poop bag inside a larger vessel (bag, box, tie it to a garbage bag draw string, whatever it takes) then that's acceptable. 

The root of the problem is that poop bags are often small and light enough that they don't get emptied, or they somehow stick to the sides or bottom of the can (often happens when things are wet), meaning that the can owner will have to endure the smell of your dog's rotting poop until it becomes unbearable enough that they eventually have to scrape it free and then take measures to make sure it gets emptied at the next pickup.

So unless you are making absolutely sure that it's getting collected (and it doesn't sound like you have been) then you're a dog poop bandit who should be flung far, far out into the ocean. 

[Al_4_ISU 12623]

I pick up my dog's shit with old plastic bags because I'm a Midwesterner and recycling old plastic bags by using them for weird purposes is at least 10% of our culture.

[Kennythetiger 9621]

Perfectly lining up the gooseneck trailer hitch with the ball in my pickup on the first try, and no one’s around to see it. 

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

4 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Perfectly lining up the gooseneck trailer hitch with the ball in my pickup on the first try, and no one’s around to see it. 

[Al_4_ISU 12623]

1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

Perfectly lining up the gooseneck trailer hitch with the ball in my pickup on the first try, and no one’s around to see it. 

Tell me your pickup is 10+ years old without telling me your pickup is 10+ years old.

And I say that as a compliment on all fronts.

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Al_4_ISU said:

Tell me your pickup is 10+ years old without telling me your pickup is 10+ years old.

And I say that as a compliment on all fronts.

Man who can't back a truck using mirrors is inferior...

Kenny's nailing the gooseneck spot on is extra credit.

Edited February 24, 2022 by slorch

[Blotto 24013]

Neighbors have a lawn crew using those gas powered, backpack style leaf blowers, and they are loud as fuck. I don't know what the hell they are doing  running those things for what seems like an hour now, but this incessant background noise has got me about ready to go Falling-Down-Michael-Douglas on their ass. There has to be a way to make those fucking things less noisy. 

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

Which genius at Microsoft decided to make Cut (control-c) and Paste (Control-v) be adjoining keys can fuck right off. Can't tell you the number of times I've reached for the "v" and accidentally hit the "c".

Fuck you Bill Gates.

[Al_4_ISU 12623]

37 minutes ago, Blotto said:

Neighbors have a lawn crew using those gas powered, backpack style leaf blowers, and they are loud as fuck. I don't know what the hell they are doing  running those things for what seems like an hour now, but this incessant background noise has got me about ready to go Falling-Down-Michael-Douglas on their ass. There has to be a way to make those fucking things less noisy. 

The 2 stroke ones are always going to be loud AF.

[Kennythetiger 9621]

7 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

If you put the poop bag inside a larger vessel (bag, box, tie it to a garbage bag draw string, whatever it takes) then that's acceptable. 

The root of the problem is that poop bags are often small and light enough that they don't get emptied, or they somehow stick to the sides or bottom of the can (often happens when things are wet), meaning that the can owner will have to endure the smell of your dog's rotting poop until it becomes unbearable enough that they eventually have to scrape it free and then take measures to make sure it gets emptied at the next pickup.

So unless you are making absolutely sure that it's getting collected (and it doesn't sound like you have been) then you're a dog poop bandit who should be flung far, far out into the ocean. 

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Which genius at Microsoft decided to make Cut (control-c) and Paste (Control-v) be adjoining keys can fuck right off. Can't tell you the number of times I've reached for the "v" and accidentally hit the "c".

Fuck you Bill Gates.

Either learn to type or use the right click on your mouse. You hit the “v” with your index finger and the “c” with your middle finger and you shouldn’t ever hit one accidentally instead of the other. Those are easy. It’s not like using your pinky to hit the “0” or the “-“ keys.

[MonkeyDoughnut 10803]

2 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Which genius at Microsoft decided to make Cut (control-c) and Paste (Control-v) be adjoining keys can fuck right off. Can't tell you the number of times I've reached for the "v" and accidentally hit the "c".

Fuck you Bill Gates.

Was actually engineers at Apple that came up with those keys during Macintosh development. IBM / Microsoft used different keys initially before joining in.

So fuck you Steve Jobs I guess?? (ducks).   I personally find them very handy and single hand ease of use ability was genius.

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

7 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Either learn to type or use the right click on your mouse. You hit the “v” with your index finger and the “c” with your middle finger and you shouldn’t ever hit one accidentally instead of the other. Those are easy. It’s not like using your pinky to hit the “0” or the “-“ keys.

Fuck you Bill Gates' bitch.

[Superhero 9017]

I wish there was a ctrl- something for strike through. I use it more than italics.

[AUinHsv 584]

On 2/18/2022 at 2:16 PM, RPM said:

My Mom bought a set of 1962 World Book and had the yearly update for several years. Would kill to get my hands on them now. One thin g that stood out to me was highlighting Great Southwest International as the world's most modern jet airport. 10 years or so later it wouldn't even exist.

Look at estate sales. Lots of encyclopedia's show up there

[nnm 37903]

51 minutes ago, AUinHsv said:

Look at estate sales. Lots of encyclopedia's show up there

What belongs to the encyclopedias that show up at estate sales?

[Steamboat1874 4321]

15 hours ago, nnm said:

What belongs to the encyclopedias that show up at estate sales?

The best part of the encyclopeida was the human body pages that were clear and had different images so you could flip them over to add muscles, veins, etc.....

[Kennythetiger 9621]

19 hours ago, nnm said:

What belongs to the encyclopedias that show up at estate sales?

Dust and dead moths, probably.