Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[WhatTheBuck 28,928]

On 4/8/2022 at 9:44 PM, Prepuce of Doom said:

Here we go again. 

Damn that sound advice!

[WhatTheBuck 28,928]

5 hours ago, tigol said:

Jiffy Lube?  Good lord, man.  I'm a female and know better.

Pics of you and lube?  

[mininghorn88 2,336]

16 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Pro tip: I keep from 1:30-5:00 on Friday blocked off my calendar. Also 8:30-9:30 every morning. Doesn’t always work but it’s surprisingly effective.

I blocked 11:30 to 1:30 every day. I strongly dislike straight up 1:00 meetings.

[RPM 26,622]

Motherfuckers that use lemon when I asked for lime. 

[mininghorn88 2,336]

1 minute ago, RPM said:

Motherfuckers that use lemon when I asked for lime. 

People who put a slice of lemon in my tea or on the rim when I explicitly tell them “no lemon please”.

[WhatTheBuck 28,928]

2 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

People who put a slice of lemon in my tea or on the rim when I explicitly tell them “no lemon please”.

I couldn’t even begin to count how many times I’ve ordered a sandwich with no tomato but have been served a sandwich with tomato on it. It’s like a reflex with them. They can’t help but put tomato on the sandwich. 

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

2 hours ago, RPM said:

Motherfuckers that use lemon when I asked for lime. 

Mother fuckers who put a lime in my politely requested vodka, tonic with a LEMON... NOT a lime please.

[elfenix 34,747]

The lemon-lime curve inverted (limes currently 50% more expensive than lemons)

[WhatTheBuck 28,928]

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

The lemon-lime curve inverted (limes currently 50% more expensive than lemons)

The last time I bought limes they were 79¢ each. I bought lemons yesterday for 89¢ each. Aren’t lemons always more expensive than limes?

[Okie State 3,889]

Yes, lemons are normally more expensive than limes. Typically 3/$1 for lemons and 5/$1 limes in my area. Limes have been getting more expensive over the past few months though and apparently have overtaken lemons in some places. That sucks because I don't make margaritas with lemons.

[Brisketexan 106,883]

Broadly speaking, people who don’t realize that lemons and limes are NOT FUCKING INTERCHANGEABLE.
I use limes in lots of my Mexican and Asian cooking, and in particular cocktails. I use lemons in Italian and African cooking, and in some DIFFERENT cocktails. And when I said for a particular one, that’s what I want. Also, lemons and limes (along with fresh garlic, butter, eggs, and good olive oil) are among the things that I make sure I always have in the kitchen.
Fuckers who give me lemon when I want a lime….make brisket wanna cut a bitch.

[elfenix 34,747]

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

The last time I bought limes they were 79¢ each. I bought lemons yesterday for 89¢ each. Aren’t lemons always more expensive than limes?

yes, that's why i said right now they're inverted.  limes are 2/$1 and lemons are 3/$1 right now at HEB. 

the usual 5/$1 limes probably works out to about the same per bushel as 3/$1 lemons. 

[conVINCEd 21,477]

33 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Broadly speaking, people who don’t realize that lemons and limes are NOT FUCKING INTERCHANGEABLE.
I use limes in lots of my Mexican and Asian cooking, and in particular cocktails. I use lemons in Italian and African cooking, and in some DIFFERENT cocktails. And when I said for a particular one, that’s what I want. Also, lemons and limes (along with fresh garlic, butter, eggs, and good olive oil) are among the things that I make sure I always have in the kitchen.
Fuckers who give me lemon when I want a lime….make brisket wanna cut a bitch.

Note to self:  the next time I am having a drink with brisket I’m gonna slip the bartender $5 to mix up the lemon and lime.

[CooterBrown 18,287]

My iPhone constantly autocorrects “on” to “in”. No, you fucking phone, “on” is a real word.

[harpercollins 394]

My iPhone constantly autocorrects “on” to “in”. No, you fucking phone, “on” is a real word.

Mine types 2.0 when I write 20. Wtf????

[harpercollins 394]

Not so trivial—

An child tax credit advance I never asked for has triggered underpayment penalties for our taxes.

Haven’t read the thread to see if anyone else has mentioned this, but that is rage inducing!

[Doze 1,324]

3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Broadly speaking, people who don’t realize that lemons and limes are NOT FUCKING INTERCHANGEABLE.
I use limes in lots of my Mexican and Asian cooking, and in particular cocktails. I use lemons in Italian and African cooking, and in some DIFFERENT cocktails. And when I said for a particular one, that’s what I want. Also, lemons and limes (along with fresh garlic, butter, eggs, and good olive oil) are among the things that I make sure I always have in the kitchen.
Fuckers who give me lemon when I want a lime….make brisket wanna cut a bitch.

 

[cabowabo 4,687]

"Happy Heavenly Birthday". You're dead. You don't have birthdays when you're dead.

[General Specific 3,507]

Here we go again. 

Ok, but remember, you asked for it!!!

[General Specific 3,507]

Broadly speaking, people who don’t realize that lemons and limes are NOT FUCKING INTERCHANGEABLE.
I use limes in lots of my Mexican and Asian cooking, and in particular cocktails. I use lemons in Italian and African cooking, and in some DIFFERENT cocktails. And when I said for a particular one, that’s what I want. Also, lemons and limes (along with fresh garlic, butter, eggs, and good olive oil) are among the things that I make sure I always have in the kitchen.
Fuckers who give me lemon when I want a lime….make brisket wanna cut a bitch.

When life gives you lemons….

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

6 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Note to self:  the next time I am having a drink with brisket I’m gonna slip the bartender $5 to mix up the lemon and lime.

I’m down for $5 more to do it twice.

[markstanco 12,786]

Anybody know what we got out of spring football?

[Js1 87,176]

3 hours ago, General Specific said:

When life gives you lemons….

[4doorsMoreWhores 107]

On 4/8/2022 at 8:04 PM, Hook1997 said:

When there is a lane closed due to construction and they have a sign and traffic backed up for two miles and idiots keep zooming by in the upcoming closed lane!  Hey idiots, we all get out of here faster if you just get in the single file lane like the rest of us.   

Fuck those people. They are cutting in line

[NeverMarryAStripper 22,288]

Your birthday is always your birthday whether or not you chose to, or are unable to, celebrate its anniversary

[CooterBrown 18,287]

Anybody know what we got out of spring football?

Realistic expectations.

[4doorsMoreWhores 107]

People that say 'adulting'

[conVINCEd 21,477]

12 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Your birthday is always your birthday whether or not you chose to, or are unable to, celebrate its anniversary

Gotta be honest, it makes me a little sad when facebook, despite the fact that I haven’t been an active user in years, sends me an email reminding me to wish a dead person happy birthday.

[WhatTheBuck 28,928]

9 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

My iPhone constantly autocorrects “on” to “in”. No, you fucking phone, “on” is a real word.

What pisses me off is when it autocorrects a word I’ve capitalized. Bitch, don’t you think I know what I’m doing when I intentionally capitalize someone’s name? If it’s in the middle of a sentence and I capitalize a word then the AI should assume I know what the fuck I’m doing. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,928]

4 hours ago, General Specific said:

When life gives you lemons….

Cook asparagus. And enjoy the smell of your pee (if you are genetically predisposed to do so).

[WhatTheBuck 28,928]

1 hour ago, 4doorsMoreWhores said:

Fuck those people. They are cutting in line

Wrong. If the lane is open then it’s legal to drive on it. Merge at the merge point. If they wanted you to merge earlier then they’d close the lane earlier. The zipper method is more efficient. You’re a sucker if you merge earlier and a dope for getting angry at people who do it the right way (and who get to where they’re going more quickly than you).

A proper zipper merge is a thing of beauty. Same with when drivers properly navigate an intersection where the stop lights have lost power. 

[4doorsMoreWhores 107]

6 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Wrong. If the lane is open then it’s legal to drive on it. Merge at the merge point. If they wanted you to merge earlier then they’d close the lane earlier. The zipper method is more efficient. You’re a sucker if you merge earlier and a dope for getting angry at people who do it the right way (and who get to where they’re going more quickly than you).

A proper zipper merge is a thing of beauty. Same with when drivers properly navigate an intersection where the stop lights have lost power. 

It's never fucking beautiful. You're an idiot

[General Specific 3,507]

Fuck those people. They are cutting in line

[lateshow 1,322]

16 hours ago, General Specific said:

When life gives you lemons….

I say fuck the lemons and bail.

[conVINCEd 21,477]

My power going out for 2 hours yesterday during the final round of The Masters.  Sure, I was able to watch it on my iPad, but I bought a large tv for a reason, and Sunday at Augusta is one of my favorite days of the sports year.

[DaysOff 8,201]

Wrong. If the lane is open then it’s legal to drive on it. Merge at the merge point. If they wanted you to merge earlier then they’d close the lane earlier. The zipper method is more efficient. You’re a sucker if you merge earlier and a dope for getting angry at people who do it the right way (and who get to where they’re going more quickly than you).
A proper zipper merge is a thing of beauty. Same with when drivers properly navigate an intersection where the stop lights have lost power. 

I think the Sack came up with this hypothesis. Zippering is zippering. Doesn't matter where you do it, but if you bum rush the line you're still an asshole.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22,288]

1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

My power going out for 2 hours yesterday during the final round of The Masters.  Sure, I was able to watch it on my iPad, but I bought a large tv for a reason, and Sunday at Augusta is one of my favorite days of the sports year.

If you bought a large tv just to watch golf then you have already lost at life and you might as well lose power as well

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

1 hour ago, DaysOff said:

I think the Sack came up with this hypothesis. Zippering is zippering. Doesn't matter where you do it, but if you bum rush the line you're still an asshole.

What does bum rush the line mean ,

[Incredulity 11,875]

36 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

If you bought a large tv just to watch golf then you have already lost at life and you might as well lose power as well

[Incredulity 11,875]

12 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

What does bum rush the line mean ,

[ButtFumble 5,286]

hey what are two things you would never want to watch a TV show about?

well uh pitbulls and people on parole

hey cool we will make a TV show featuring both o those things!

[tbone_ 14,438]

If you bought a large tv just to watch golf then you have already lost at life and you might as well lose power as well

Yea this is wrong.

100” 4K LCD projector kicked ass

[elfenix 34,747]

17 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Same with when drivers properly navigate an intersection where the stop lights have lost power. 

this has never happened.

[WhatTheBuck 28,928]

48 minutes ago, elfenix said:

this has never happened.

Sure it has. I’ve seen it. Many times, really. Sure, sometimes you’ll see some assholes who cheat and drive through the intersection when it’s not their turn, following the car in front of them who waited their turn. But usually when I encounter that situation in my neck of the woods, most drivers handle it properly. When you get through it without any assholes cheating it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

[Sam Lin 3,597]

7 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

What does bum rush the line mean ,

I think it's a euphemism.

[Onboard 2.0 9,083]

Just now, Sam Lin said:

I think it's a euphemism.

Well yeah,  but meaning making a force cut in the line or the guy who's the first one to do the zipper thing right, and move to the intersection point at the front of the line  ?

[ztejas 44,226]

28 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

I think it's a euphemism.

We don't have bums. And if we did, they wouldn't rush, they'd be allowed to go at their own pace.

[Okie State 3,889]

Confirmed today limes are 2/$1 and lemons 3/$1. That's some bullshit.

[Deej 77,812]

Lemons are five for a dollar at the Mexican market by my house. Granted, they are smaller than the limes. 

[BearMace 2,244]

11 hours ago, DaysOff said:

I think the Sack came up with this hypothesis. Zippering is zippering. Doesn't matter where you do it, but if you bum rush the line you're still an asshole.

So what's the logic in not using the full allotment of lanes as long as possible? Should we be merging 5 miles before the construction? 10 miles before? Merge where the lane ends. Preemptive merging for merging sake is entirely on you and you're helping nothing.