Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Ignatius 4,153]

People who sit sideways at the bar to directly face the person they’re talking to and inevitably keep leaning back into you. Usually some motherfucker wearing Wranglers (although on this occasion it’s an obese lesbian wearing yoga pants)…

[Ignatius 4,153]

On 4/1/2023 at 8:42 PM, Underdog said:

52-80:  man, whenever I’m in NYC I make sure to grab me some of my favorite pizza from there… 

At least Sbarro has its origin in NY (Bensonhurst to be precise); fucking Taco Bell in Spain?

[Sam Lin 3,610]

12 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Email signatures.  “Warm regards”.  WTF is that?  Reads like hot turds.

One of our divisions apparently did some character test and includes the results in each person's sig:

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,865]

2 hours ago, Ignatius said:

People who sit sideways at the bar to directly face the person they’re talking to and inevitably keep leaning back into you. Usually some motherfucker wearing Wranglers (although on this occasion it’s an obese lesbian wearing yoga pants)…

Next time tell the Wrangler wearing guy that if you wanted to watch 2 loaves of squished white bread rubbing against each other you’d go to aisle 2 at HEB.

[tbone_ 14,517]

Or just go to better bars

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,865]

1 minute ago, Sam Lin said:

One of our divisions apparently did some character test and includes the results in each person's sig:

Haha, yeah we have “aspire”. Agile. Sharing.  Performing. Innovating.  Rewarding.  Empowering.  
 

I’d rather be activating my maximized in someone’s strategic includer.  

[Ignatius 4,153]

17 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

Or just go to better bars

Lol I live in Atlanta bro, this is as good as it gets…

[shakahorn 1,660]

On 4/5/2023 at 11:29 AM, PvilleStang said:

Shoot, he's setting up his tee time at Muni with his free sleeve of balls.

Cheap ass balls no less.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,314]

54 minutes ago, shakahorn said:

Cheap ass balls no less.

Ass balls

[52-80 19,381]

16 hours ago, Ignatius said:

At least Sbarro has its origin in NY (Bensonhurst to be precise); fucking Taco Bell in Spain?

ive also eaten TB in S Korea and Popeyes in Turkey.

craving's a craving.

[ABSR 5,376]

17 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

One of our divisions apparently did some character test and includes the results in each person's sig:

We should do this with Surly posters, but crowd source the answers.

[SHOOTER12 8,894]

18 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Ass balls

Dickbutts' little brother?

[Guest]

On 4/6/2023 at 8:02 PM, Sam Lin said:

One of our divisions apparently did some character test and includes the results in each person's sig:

Did a smilar one of these and my descriptor was "problem solver,"  I'd love to have that in my sig so people would know to STFU and get to the gotdam point.

Edited April 8, 2023 by slorch

[GoPokes83 2,251]

Can you customize those, or are they mandated.

[Bevo&Pevo 5,685]

We live in a world where we've put men on the moon and split the atom.  However, we can't make a plastic sleeve for crackers that opens and closes in a manner that is functional.  Every time I open one it looks like I used a weed eater.

Second thing why is it I can be in my recliner just seconds away from sleep.  Get up and walk to the bedroom and flop around like a fish out of water for 30 minutes before I get to sleep.

[Guest]

Doing some work out in the yard and pick up slowly pulls up to my curb, facing into oncoming lane. Motions for me to come to truck, with female in passenger seat( no pics.LOL)

I stay up by my flower beds and  clearly ask, "Whatcha got?" as in, what do you need?

"Hamburger meat and chicken."

I know the expression of "Go fuck yourself" completely shown across my face, but I barked back, 'No. Thank you." and he meandered down the rest of the street.

Is that a thing now?  What am I missing?  Who would say yes in that situation?

[tbone_ 14,517]

I’m sure it was totally legit but need more info on the broad in the passenger seat to be sure

[nnm 38,096]

[WhatTheBuck 28,958]

3 hours ago, nnm said:

I press the sleep button on the side to make it stop ringing. 

[Celery Man 21,131]

Hey it’s Easter weekend and we know you’re looking for a pie crust and that’s why we moved them from where they go to an end cap.

[52-80 19,381]

this goddamn practice of teasing customer with a discount/coupon, that apparently excludes every product on earth.

i returned an amazon.com package to kohls (rather than dropping it off with a shipper), and they gave me a 20% off coupon.  cool.  turns out, it aint valid on shit.

buying something from saks fifth avenue, which says 10% off the first order.  here's the exclusion list:

[Orale 1,179]

53 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

this goddamn practice of teasing customer with a discount/coupon, that apparently excludes every product on earth.

i returned an amazon.com package to kohls (rather than dropping it off with a shipper), and they gave me a 20% off coupon.  cool.  turns out, it aint valid on shit.

buying something from saks fifth avenue, which says 10% off the first order.  here's the exclusion list:

Rage for sure. But what could you possibly be buying at Saks? Weird ass store. 

[52-80 19,381]

23 minutes ago, Orale said:

Rage for sure. But what could you possibly be buying at Saks? Weird ass store. 

1000% weird.  And the answer is fuckall from the physical store, but from webstore I can cash out gift card for normal homeware shit, and bought a Zwilling/Henckels kitchen knife.

...Zwilling is the last thing on the exclusion list

[Superhero 9,064]

The number of idiots who drive without their car lights on in the evenings, and even at night.

On the way back from the airport, there was a van without ANY lights on. Not even DLRs. Just a dark car in a a dark night.

Occasionally I’ll turn my lights on and off hoping they’ll look in the rear view mirror and try to figure out why they’re wrong. But the cross section of people driving without their lights on is the same as the ones who don’t check their rear view mirror. 🤬

[52-80 19,381]

6 minutes ago, Superhero said:

The number of idiots who drive without their car lights on in the evenings, and even at night.

On the way back from the airport, there was a van without ANY lights on. Not even DLRs. Just a dark car in a a dark night.

Occasionally I’ll turn my lights on and off hoping they’ll look in the rear view mirror and try to figure out why they’re wrong. But the cross section of people driving without their lights on is the same as the ones who don’t check their rear view mirror. 🤬

Same for rain

[Brisketexan 107,109]

The number of idiots who drive without their car lights on in the evenings, and even at night.
On the way back from the airport, there was a van without ANY lights on. Not even DLRs. Just a dark car in a a dark night.
Occasionally I’ll turn my lights on and off hoping they’ll look in the rear view mirror and try to figure out why they’re wrong. But the cross section of people driving without their lights on is the same as the ones who don’t check their rear view mirror.

Fucking PREACH. I’ll even be behind them at a light. I honk. I flip my lights on and off. I hit my brights. I honk again. CLUELESS. I bet my success rate of getting someone to turn their lights on is 1 in 10. It’s taught me that most people pay zero fucking attention to anything that’s happening around them when they drive. I mean, I suspected that, but to see it confirmed, shit.

[conVINCEd 21,478]

3 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Fucking PREACH. I’ll even be behind them at a light. I honk. I flip my lights on and off. I hit my brights. I honk again. CLUELESS. I bet my success rate of getting someone to turn their lights on is 1 in 10. It’s taught me that most people pay zero fucking attention to anything that’s happening around them when they drive. I mean, I suspected that, but to see it confirmed, shit.

You gonna get shot.

[Brisketexan 107,109]

You gonna get shot.

Yeah, it’s a gang rite. I also stick my finger in payphone coin returns, playing AIDS needle roulette.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,314]

If I was in charge of a murderous street gang, my applicants would have to drive around murdering everyone who doesn't turn on their headlights when appropriate. 

[Underdog 29,262]

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

If I was in charge of a murderous street gang, my applicants would have to drive around murdering everyone who doesn't turn on their headlights when appropriate. 

[PvilleStang 3,012]

13 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Same for rain

Driving around Thursday and Friday during the rain, and the amount of dumbasses in grey or dark cars that refuse to turn on their headlights is infuriating.

 

I blame the electronic dashes.  If they were old-school dials, they'd be wondering why they can't see a dang thing in the car, and realize they're morons and need their headlights.

[Superhero 9,064]

4 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

I blame the electronic dashes.  If they were old-school dials, they'd be wondering why they can't see a dang thing in the car, and realize they're morons and need their headlights.

At the same time, most modern cars have auto settings on their lights, or at least DRLs (fuck you NHTSA for not making them mandatory).

I’m not saying we should go back to mechanical gages and little incandescent bulbs lighting them, but do something something so people can’t see their dash at night without turning their lights on. 

[SHOOTER12 8,894]

8 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Yeah, it’s a gang rite. I also stick my finger in payphone coin returns, playing AIDS needle roulette.

Sheesh I don't even remember the last time I saw a payphone. 

[Kennythetiger 9,703]

On 3/29/2023 at 2:47 PM, Native Horn said:

Something I learned today: there's a dressing made in Nebraska named Dorothy Lynch, and it is "both sweet and spicy."  I love this place.

It’s fucking delicious, and @Al_4_ISU can shove his bottle of ranch where the sun don’t shine. R.I.P. grandma. She put Dorothy Lynch on iceberg lettuce and called it a salad, and used butter as a condiment on ham sandwiches.  Also froze loaves of bread. I don’t think I ever had a ham sandwich with completely thawed-out bread. 

[Al_4_ISU 12,700]

1 hour ago, Kennythetiger said:

It’s fucking delicious, and @Al_4_ISU can shove his bottle of ranch where the sun don’t shine. R.I.P. grandma. She put Dorothy Lynch on iceberg lettuce and called it a salad, and used butter as a condiment on ham sandwiches.  Also froze loaves of bread. I don’t think I ever had a ham sandwich with completely thawed-out bread. 

I fuck with butter on cold meat sandwiches

[nnm 38,096]

1 hour ago, Al_4_ISU said:

I fuck with butter on cold meat sandwiches

I’ve read that sentence a dozen times and don’t know what it means. It has all the elements of a proper sentence intended to impart information, it just doesn’t. 

[Sam Lin 3,610]

I think the cold meat sandwich is a euphemism, and he needs to get a bit better at foreplay?

[elfenix 34,821]

It’s fucking delicious, and [mention=1238]Al_4_ISU[/mention] can shove his bottle of ranch where the sun don’t shine. R.I.P. grandma. She put Dorothy Lynch on iceberg lettuce and called it a salad, and used butter as a condiment on ham sandwiches.  Also froze loaves of bread. I don’t think I ever had a ham sandwich with completely thawed-out bread. 

Jambon buerre is a classic.

[Kennythetiger 9,703]

7 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

I think the cold meat sandwich is a euphemism, and he needs to get a bit better at foreplay?

It’s a motto- it just says itself. 

[Guest]

I worked with it and worked with it and finally just gave it a shot of mayo.

[GoPokes83 2,251]

6:30 Monday morning and I’ve already been surlified. People who say years young instead of years old when describing someone. JFC they know their old, getting cutesy with it won’t erase that knowledge.

[Al_4_ISU 12,700]

9 hours ago, nnm said:

I’ve read that sentence a dozen times and don’t know what it means. It has all the elements of a proper sentence intended to impart information, it just doesn’t. 

It’s Surly for “I like butter on cold meat sandwiches”.

Kenny specified ham, but it works with turkey, roast beef, thuringer, braunschweiger, etc.

Edited April 11, 2023 by Al_4_ISU

[General Specific 3,508]

I stopped reading after butter, because who hasn’t tried sexy time with it? Then I started to think of all the other food items used over the years.

[52-80 19,381]

Nobody can convince me theres a logical reason these gear shifts have to be zig-zagged like this

 

[Kennythetiger 9,703]

You don’t pretend you’re a race car driver?  Man I sure do. 

[52-80 19,381]

Sorry, why are we pretending that this is a real mysterious question worthy of exploration?

I'm 5 billion percent supportive of womens right, and if I had a daughter who wanted to play hockey, rope cattle, or sumo wrestle, i'd encourage her with every last dollar in my wallet.

But let's not play dumb for the sake of sounding progressive.

[Sam Lin 3,610]

Yeah, we all know it's because women drivers.

[52-80 19,381]

28 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

Yeah, we all know it's because women drivers.

Racing teams dont wanna pay to fix curbed rims

[Kennythetiger 9,703]

11 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Racing teams dont wanna pay to fix curbed rims

And start the races late. 

[conVINCEd 21,478]

12 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Racing teams dont wanna pay to fix curbed rims

Also the additional cost of putting a mirror in the sun visor so they can do their makeup while going 200 mph.  And the engineers would have to figure out how to get a cup holder in there for the pumpkin spiced latte brewed fresh during every pit stop.