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Trivial Things That Make You Surly


elfenix

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12 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

Also the additional cost of putting a mirror in the sun visor so they can do their makeup while going 200 mph.  And the engineers would have to figure out how to get a cup holder in there for the pumpkin spiced latte brewed fresh during every pit stop.

A few years ago my wife was driving my car and, at a stoplight, pulled down the visor and opened the mirror to check her lipstick. I didn’t even know there was a mirror there.
 

In 45 or so years of driving many different vehicles, I don’t think I have ever checked to see if the driver’s visor has a mirror. If I need to check my hair, that’s what the rear view mirror is for. 

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8 minutes ago, nnm said:

A few years ago my wife was driving my car and, at a stoplight, pulled down the visor and opened the mirror to check her lipstick. I didn’t even know there was a mirror there.
 

In 45 or so years of driving many different vehicles, I don’t think I have ever checked to see if the driver’s visor has a mirror. If I need to check my hair, that’s what the rear view mirror is for. 

Congratulations, you have a penis.

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On 3/29/2023 at 3:00 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I'm tired of being the only person who follows the rules.  Next time I go to HEB I'm going to ride around on one of those scooters with Sebastian as my 70 lb emotional support doofus.  I'm going to make it a point to crash into every one of those order pullers and then I'm going to take my 25 items to the express lane.

 

Be sure to pay with a check, and for god's sake, don't start filling it in until the very very end after everything is rung up. Also, be sure to make people wait while you update the check log at the counter.

 

 

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On 3/30/2023 at 6:28 AM, MNLonghornFUKM said:

I’ve frequented Walmart this year more than the last few years combined. Not only are their groceries cheaper than the grocery store I usually goto, but the people watching is great because you’ll never know what you’ll see.

 

This is my concern dude.

 

 

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14 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Just got an email reply from a highly educated, grown-assed man saying that he is for “all intensive purposes ready to sign the contract” to build his house.  
 

Dude. 

Dude went to some kind of booshey school like eatme

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Be sure to pay with a check, and for god's sake, don't start filling it in until the very very end after everything is rung up. Also, be sure to make people wait while you update the check log at the counter.
 
 


And make sure you have 2 or 3 pens that don't work.
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16 hours ago, deadshank said:

Just got an email reply from a highly educated, grown-assed man saying that he is for “all intensive purposes ready to sign the contract” to build his house.  
 

Dude. 

You should sign your response with

 

“best retards,

me”

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Weird bitch but it's Surly and trivial.

Drove up again to my hometown to deal with my parents' estate today.

I just went to get a sixer at the corner store, and the cashier started to wrap the six-pack in a big, thick, black plastic bag. I said "No, that's not necessary."

But then the cashier went into this schpiel about how Texas law requires a plastic bag be wrapped around a six-pack because of some fictitious (so far as I know) law that treats a standard six-pack of unopened bottles packaged in a normal cardboardish whatever that every six-pack of bottled beer you've ever purchased MUST BE thoroughly wrapped in plastic to exit the store.

Me: "Dude, I've been buying beer for 30 years, and this is the first I've ever heard of that. Have you seen this town? Every mesquite has a plastic bag stuck in it. Go drive by the Walmart."

Him: "Sorry, man, that's the law."

Me: "Whatever. That can't possibly be true. Down in Austin (which as a phrase probably marked me as being an asshole), I specifically say "no bag" to every request, and everyone is cool with that without fail. I promise you this is just a store policy and not the law."

 

The dude looks at me like I'm an alien for that exchange. Sure, I understand he's in a dead-end job and is just spouting company line, so I didn't give him any more grief and walked out with a six-pack of Dos Equis wrapped in an extra thick, black plastic bag.

Is this really a thing in Texas? Am I the asshole baddie?

Edited by bolverk
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Weird bitch but it's Surly and trivial.
Drove up again to my hometown to deal with my parents' estate today.
I just went to get a sixer at the corner store, and the cashier started to wrap the six-pack in a big, thick, black plastic bag. I said "No, that's not necessary."
But then the cashier went into this schpiel about how Texas law requires a plastic bag be wrapped around a six-pack because of some fictitious (so far as I know) law that treats a standard six-pack of unopened bottles packaged in a normal cardboardish whatever that every six-pack of bottled beer you've ever purchased MUST BE thoroughly wrapped in plastic to exit the store.
Me: "Dude, I've been buying beer for 30 years, and this is the first I've ever heard of that. Have you seen this town? Every mesquite has a plastic bag stuck in it. Go drive by the Walmart."
Him: "Sorry, man, that's the law."
Me: "Whatever. That can't possibly be true. Down in Austin (which as a phrase probably marked me as being an asshole), I specifically say "no bag" to every request, and everyone is cool with that without fail. I promise you this is just a store policy and not the law."
 
The dude looks at me like I'm an alien for that exchange. Sure, I understand he's in a dead-end job and is just spouting company line, so I didn't give him any more grief and walked out with a six-pack of Dos Equis wrapped in an extra thick, black plastic bag.
Is this really a thing in Texas? Am I the asshole baddie?

763c72ca21114d8b0f24d31581225a8a.jpg
7 years ago, but with more places banning plastic bags I can’t believe Texas would pass a law to force people to use them.
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On 4/11/2023 at 6:02 PM, 52-80 said:

Nobody can convince me theres a logical reason these gear shifts have to be zig-zagged like this

 

zigzag-gearshift-ca42.jpg

I can out grumpy you on that...  There isn't a reason to even have a shift lever.  99% of the new cars that just lever just activates electronic switches anyways. Just put the buttons on the dash and give me like 12 more cupholders to clean out.  

I mean we had this solved 50yrs ago...

DSC_0584.JPG

Edited by locodos
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I know the gearshift on my F150 only activates switches. It does not need to be in the middle of the console or shaped like it is. But the driving experience is enhanced by the physical acts of shifting it to drive, reverse, park, etc., and the feeling of resting your hand on it while driving.  I also like that it folds down if I need the space. 

2021-ford-f-150-shifter-animation-160148

My wife’s car has a stupid series of buttons on the dash. I hate that setup. I’m continually hitting the wrong button. And no gearshift knob to rest my hand on. 
2019-Honda-Odyssey-Electronic-Gear-Selec

Edited by nnm
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18 minutes ago, nnm said:

I know the gearshift on my F150 only activates switches. It does not need to be in the middle of the console or shaped like it is. But the driving experience is enhanced by the physical acts of shifting it to drive, reverse, park, etc., and the feeling of resting your hand on it while driving.  I also like that it folds down if I need the space. 

2021-ford-f-150-shifter-animation-160148

My wife’s car has a stupid series of buttons on the dash. I hate that setup. I’m continually hitting the wrong button. And no gearshift knob to rest my hand on. 
2019-Honda-Odyssey-Electronic-Gear-Selec

I get the ergonomics and the fold down stick is a decent idea, but it's just wasted build expense, complexity, and real-estate in my opinion.  Chances are that 60% of that transmission tunnel is just molded plastic covering up air. (Also a pet peeve).  As my dermatologist can attest, I usually drive with my right hand on the wheel and my left arm on the window sill.  My tundra has a "gated" shifter.  Next time I'm driving around I'll try to see if my hand rests there at all.  I don't think I do that though.

If I want to shift my truck, I'll just take the old mechanical analog FJ out and that'll get old after about an hour.

I am intrigued how you're accidentally hitting the buttons, but it's hard to visualize where that is on the dash.  Do you ever turn on the passenger's seat heater on a road trip...  because if you haven't that can be mildly entertaining.

 

 

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Just now, conVINCEd said:

Your hand rests on the shifter if your first car had a manual transmission.

Incorrect.  My 71 VW barely had a transmission, never mind anything automatic. I spent a month only parking on "hills" because I was too lazy to go buy a new battery.

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2 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:


763c72ca21114d8b0f24d31581225a8a.jpg
7 years ago, but with more places banning plastic bags I can’t believe Texas would pass a law to force people to use them.

It seems perfectly on brand that our dear leaders would pass a law requiring everyone to use non reusable plastic bags just to give the middle finger to all the woke people 

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47 minutes ago, locodos said:

Incorrect.  My 71 VW barely had a transmission, never mind anything automatic. I spent a month only parking on "hills" because I was too lazy to go buy a new battery.

Not sure why, but I find this both amusing and awesome at the crossroads of ingenuity and laziness.

Edited by slorch
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2 hours ago, slorch said:

Not sure why, but I find this both amusing and awesome at the crossroads of ingenuity and laziness.

It was summer, the bug was old, and I was a poor high school kid who bought his first car.  I also needed that car to get to work and over to friend's houses.

  • Old Bugs have the battery under the rear bench seat
  • Bugs are NOTORIOUS for having rusty floorboards especially under the battery
  • My bug had a full internal roll bar
  • Getting the bench out was a massive pain in the bollocks
  • The first time I went to check the battery and see if it just needed water (does that ever work?) most of the floorboard started pulling up with the battery

I knew I needed to get in there with a wire wheel until I hit good metal (lulz), prime, paint, and then screw in aluminum roof flashing so the battery wouldn't drop out the floor.  You also need the right battery because if you get a taller one, the metal "springs" under the bench can cross the terminals.  So it took me a while to get everything I needed so I could knock it out on a weekend I didn't have work.

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23 hours ago, nnm said:

My wife’s car has a stupid series of buttons on the dash. I hate that setup. I’m continually hitting the wrong button. And no gearshift knob to rest my hand on. 
2019-Honda-Odyssey-Electronic-Gear-Selec

So unintuitive. Prius started with that dumb shit. 
 

6b4e0468-6d6a-475b-b177-2af0cae5156a.jpg

If they want to make a clean electro shifter, Mercedes integrated it into a single stalk (also used by Tesla)

2013-Mercedes-Benz-GL-63-AMG-column-shif

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What is this NBA of which you speak? There was an entertaining professional league with that name that I used to watch back in the 1970s-1990s. It was fun to watch. That was another millennium though. That league must have disbanded, because nothing I’ve seen on the last 20 years that calls itself professional basketball is worth watching. 

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On 4/15/2023 at 12:38 AM, bolverk said:

Weird bitch but it's Surly and trivial.

Drove up again to my hometown to deal with my parents' estate today.

I just went to get a sixer at the corner store, and the cashier started to wrap the six-pack in a big, thick, black plastic bag. I said "No, that's not necessary."

But then the cashier went into this schpiel about how Texas law requires a plastic bag be wrapped around a six-pack because of some fictitious (so far as I know) law that treats a standard six-pack of unopened bottles packaged in a normal cardboardish whatever that every six-pack of bottled beer you've ever purchased MUST BE thoroughly wrapped in plastic to exit the store.

Me: "Dude, I've been buying beer for 30 years, and this is the first I've ever heard of that. Have you seen this town? Every mesquite has a plastic bag stuck in it. Go drive by the Walmart."

Him: "Sorry, man, that's the law."

Me: "Whatever. That can't possibly be true. Down in Austin (which as a phrase probably marked me as being an asshole), I specifically say "no bag" to every request, and everyone is cool with that without fail. I promise you this is just a store policy and not the law."

 

The dude looks at me like I'm an alien for that exchange. Sure, I understand he's in a dead-end job and is just spouting company line, so I didn't give him any more grief and walked out with a six-pack of Dos Equis wrapped in an extra thick, black plastic bag.

Is this really a thing in Texas? Am I the asshole baddie?

I had a cashier recently say they had to put a six pack of Dale's Pale Ale cans in a bag.  It comes in a box.  I asked if they put twelve packs in a bag.  Blank stare.  I wish they'd pass a law that says you don't have to put alcohol in a bag rather than not having a law that says you have to put it in a bag.

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15 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Someone just left a voicemail on my office phone giving their name and number and "please call me back".

I have no fucking idea who you are or why you called. Tell me why I should call you back?

Its a tarp

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51 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

You listen to voice mails?

About 4 months ago I stopped checking voicemails. It's been full for about 15 weeks. Now I answer if I want or use text. I also don't text back unless it's family for about a day or so. I despise the "I need to reach you at any time at my convenience and expect an immediate response" viewpoint.

In a couple years I may just get a landline and chuck the rest.

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About 4 months ago I stopped checking voicemails. It's been full for about 15 weeks. Now I answer if I want or use text. I also don't text back unless it's family for about a day or so. I despise the "I need to reach you at any time at my convenience and expect an immediate response" viewpoint.
In a couple years I may just get a landline and chuck the rest.

User name checks out.
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