Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Brisketexan 104,436]

This.
I typically have the stitching facing away from me and rip from left to right.  Worked in a seed company in high school/ college.  Used the sewing machines on the bags almost every day.  It only works in one direction to unlace it.
Protip- if you fuckup the knot on the start of your pull, just snip the knot off with scissors or pocket knife and it should pull right out.

I have found that my success rate on pulling a stitched bag top the right way is about the same as my success rate in putting a USB stick into a port right side up. Close to 0%.

[Guest]

 Like i said above, if you pull the single string accidently through the loop and make a knot, just cut it off and try again.

 

[ABSR 5,287]

1 hour ago, UnivTex34 said:

Well you see, their cost is $0.

They just write it off!  That’s how all the big companies do it.

[elfenix 34,164]

I have found that my success rate on pulling a stitched bag top the right way is about the same as my success rate in putting a USB stick into a port right side up. Close to 0%.

[52-80 19,063]

4 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I have found that my success rate on pulling a stitched bag top the right way is about the same as my success rate in putting a USB stick into a port right side up. Close to 0%.

teach a man how to fish once and he'll insert usb correctly for the rest of his life:

-facing the device in a normal orientation, the plastic tab inside the usb plug is on the bottom and the 2 cutout things is on top.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

6 hours ago, 52-80 said:

facing the device in a normal orientation,

I found your problem

[Superhero 8,730]

People who check their text messages on their Apple watch in the middle of meetings.

Bet you wouldn't pick up your phone to check your text message, so why is it okay to check it on your phone?

[Knoxtnhorn 5,928]

I fully get that part of this is because I cannot stand her, but please stop with the Taylor Swift news on ESPN and other sites.  Please.  

[Native Horn 3,483]

4 hours ago, Superhero said:

People who check their text messages on their Apple watch in the middle of meetings.

Bet you wouldn't pick up your phone to check your text message, so why is it okay to check it on your phone?

I was told there would be no maths.

[Biff Tannen 45,472]

On 9/29/2023 at 2:01 PM, Knoxtnhorn said:

I fully get that part of this is because I cannot stand her, but please stop with the Taylor Swift news on ESPN and other sites.  Please.  

I've been getting it on my fucking fantasy football news.  WTF?

[elfenix 34,164]

Really don't understand what you can do at an ATM that takes more than a minute

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

14 hours ago, elfenix said:

Really don't understand what you can do at an ATM that takes more than a minute

Well, if you are in front of me you can apply for a home loan, refinance your car, and sign up for a credit card.

[Okie State 3,767]

I have found that my success rate on pulling a stitched bag top the right way is about the same as my success rate in putting a USB stick into a port right side up. Close to 0%.

I opened a stitched bag of dog food first try yesterday. Couldn't believe it. One of the best days of my life.

[WhatTheBuck 28,700]

 

[Doze 1,322]

12 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Well, if you are in front of me you can apply for a home loan, refinance your car, and sign up for a credit card.

Shiiiiiit, I think somebody in front of me did a hostile takeover of the bank via the ATM. 

[GoPokes83 2,236]

And then Amazon can deliver my order in one day.  Weird how that works.

I’m from the generation that growing up if you ordered something from television or a catalogue there was a standard notice to allow six to eight weeks for delivery. I ordered some lightning cables on Amazon from who knows where at 12:30 this afternoon and I’ll have them at my house in BFE Texas by 10 tomorrow morning. Zero clue how that’s possible.

[GoPokes83 2,236]

 

much more reliable than trying to remember which string to pull

[52-80 19,063]

On 10/4/2023 at 4:22 AM, WhatTheBuck said:

 

before Youtube, this was a family secret, passed down generation to generation by oral tradition

[elfenix 34,164]

C7's door is still closed. C8 is boarding. People on the C7 flight see people queueing and so stand up and cram against the closed door.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

I blame the airlines for their luggage policy. You used to check 2 bags for free and have one carryon. Didn't matter when you got on the plane, there was usually room for your carryon. Now they are charging and not enforcing the size of the carryon. Just look at that person in the center screen--she has a huge fucking backpack and a purse and a blue bag. All that shit will take up more than her share of the overhead. Now multiply her by everyone in line and you see why people want to rush to get on the plane early. /end surly rant

[nnm 35,970]

8 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I blame the airlines for their luggage policy. You used to check 2 bags for free and have one carryon. Didn't matter when you got on the plane, there was usually room for your carryon. Now they are charging and not enforcing the size of the carryon. Just look at that person in the center screen--she has a huge fucking backpack and a purse and a blue bag. All that shit will take up more than her share of the overhead. Now multiply her by everyone in line and you see why people want to rush to get on the plane early. /end surly rant

[elfenix 34,164]

People who need assistance
Global services
Activate duty
Young children
Premier 1k
Group 1 now boarding 6th

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

9 minutes ago, elfenix said:

People who need assistance
Global services
Activate duty
Young children
Premier 1k
Group 1 now boarding 6th

Bingo. And people with young children are like camels boarding the plane with 3 days worth of toys, food, etc. 

[nnm 35,970]

50 minutes ago, elfenix said:

People who need assistance
Global services
Activate duty
Young children
Premier 1k
Group 1 now boarding 6th

American is similar.  Ugh.

[PvilleStang 2,843]

3 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Bingo. And people with young children are like camels boarding the plane with 3 days worth of toys, food, etc. 

I had children just to skip over you group 1 pricks!  

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

1 minute ago, PvilleStang said:

I had children just to skip over you group 1 pricks!  

[ABSR 5,287]

1 hour ago, PvilleStang said:

I had children just to skip over you group 1 pricks!  

I rent children just to skip over you group 1 pricks!   Pro Tip!

[PvilleStang 2,843]

30 minutes ago, ABSR said:

I rent children just to skip over you group 1 pricks!   Pro Tip!

Renting was just getting way out of hand.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

[Superhero 8,730]

5 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Bingo. And people with young children are like camels boarding the plane with 3 days worth of toys, food, etc. 

Yup. I traveled 1 time with my BIL and his family. This is when their kids were 4 and 1...

4 carry-ons (one for each member the family); 3 backpacks, 1 diaper bag, 1 stroller, and 2 car seats. All the while my BIL's wife is holding their little one.

Of course they couldn't handle it all so they asked my wife and I to take some of their stuff.

 

For my family of 4 (my boy was also 1 at the time), we had 2 carry-ons and 2 backpacks. We were going to Hawaii for a week and pretty much just packed our swimsuits, underwear and toothbrushes.

 

[CoTex 1,158]

When people describe something as being at a "price point."  "It was at the $1,000 price point..."  How about you save us a few syllables and just say "It cost $1,000."  We don't need your passive voice bullshit, you didn't do a market study, and I'm pretty sure this isn't an economics lecture. 

Also, I'm tired of hearing about weather patterns or any patterns for that matter.  You're not a meteorologist and I didn't ask for the farmer's almanac.  "I'm tired of this summer weather pattern."  F-me.  How about "It is hot," or "I'm tired of this hot weather."

Do better.

[Jameslaw121 4,445]

3 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

I had children just to skip over you group 1 pricks!  

Pro tip. Buy a used crutch from good will. Then you can board with the handicaps. It's also a real baller move when you leave the crutch on the plane and just walk off.

 

[nnm 35,970]

43 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Pro tip. Buy a used crutch from good will. Then you can board with the handicaps. It's also a real baller move when you leave the crutch on the plane and just walk off.

 

At one time, there were reports of services in Florida where you could “rent” a disabled person to accompany you to skip the lines at Disney World. Why not do the same for flights?

https://www.cnn.com/2013/05/15/us/disney-skipping-lines/index.html

[elfenix 34,164]

1 hour ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Pro tip. Buy a used crutch from good will. Then you can board with the handicaps. It's also a real baller move when you leave the crutch on the plane and just walk off.

 

[Tex Long 4,325]

2 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Pro tip. Buy a used crutch from good will. Then you can board with the handicaps. It's also a real baller move when you leave the crutch on the plane and just walk off.

 

They let you get a crutch past security and onto a plane now?

[mininghorn88 2,260]

14 hours ago, elfenix said:

People who need assistance
Global services
Activate duty
Young children
Premier 1k
Group 1 now boarding 6th

I fly a lot. I constantly see people boarding in the “need assistance” time that clearly do not need assistance. Rare do I see a gate agent stop them.

[NWBuck 8,543]

6 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Pro tip. Buy a used crutch from good will. Then you can board with the handicaps. It's also a real baller move when you leave the crutch on the plane and just walk off.

[Guest]

If i get on the plane and there is one more spot left for my bag, that's fucking perfect.

I never have understood the desire to be first on the motherfucking plane.

[52-80 19,063]

2 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

I fly a lot. I constantly see people boarding in the “need assistance” time that clearly do not need assistance. Rare do I see a gate agent stop them.

"Now we invite families with young children..."

 

 

 

[Underdog 28,436]

12 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Pro tip. Buy a used crutch from good will. Then you can board with the handicaps. It's also a real baller move when you leave the crutch on the plane and just walk off.

 

[deadshank 24,651]

Cashiers at HEB that refuses to move the belt forward toward them when you plop down your groceries.  The pile at my end gets taller and taller while you stare into space with a blank look in your eyes.  

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

7 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

I fly a lot. I constantly see people boarding in the “need assistance” time that clearly do not need assistance. Rare do I see a gate agent stop them.

I'm convinced more than 50% of the people with handicapped placards are just fat and lazy.

[Sam Lin 3,540]

9 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

I fly a lot. I constantly see people boarding in the “need assistance” time that clearly do not need assistance. Rare do I see a gate agent stop them.

The airline and gate agent risk lawsuits and negative publicity if they call out the wrong person (not all disabilities are readily visible).

You, however, can call out those assholes with impunity.

[gofuckyourself 8,112]

On 10/5/2023 at 10:10 AM, elfenix said:

People who need assistance
Global services
Activate duty
Young children
Premier 1k
Group 1 now boarding 6th

If you wanted to board early then you shouldn't have been a good genes havin', non-accident prone, yellow-bellied America-hatin', impotent/infertile poor.

And also whatever global services is. That too.

[Trey3216 15,325]

8 hours ago, 52-80 said:

"Now we invite families with young children..."

 

 

 

*Did  

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

3 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

*Did  

She looks pregnant. Congrats.

[nnm 35,970]

23 minutes ago, gofuckyourself said:

If you wanted to board early then you shouldn't have been a good genes havin', non-accident prone, yellow-bellied America-hatin', impotent/infertile poor.

And also whatever global services is. That too.

Global services is the double-secret probation status for United, which is above the Premier 1k level.  They don’t advertise the criteria. It’s for the biggest spenders, primarily those that fly international business class frequently. You don’t know if you’ve hit the criteria until you get a welcome packet, or don’t get a welcome packet. 

In my prior career I flew internationally about once a month, business class. High dollar tickets. For about 10 years I had GS status. They treat you very well. Dedicated phone number with a live person, no holding.  Automatic rebooking with flight disruptions, with a personal call to you.  In exceptional circumstances they’ll meet you on the tarmac with a special car to take you to the next flight.  Special lounges in some airports (Heathrow).  Obviously first boarding group.

I left my O&G career 3 years ago. I haven’t had GS for several years. I’m still flying internationally 3-4 times a year, but now it’s for a non-profit, on donor dollars. I’m flying economy (or economy plus). It’s hard to go back to poors status.

[gofuckyourself 8,112]

Damn...and I thought my car wash club discount was the tits.

I never had the luxury of getting used to first class/premium flights but the special lady friend insists on always flying first class. And I definitely see why.

[52-80 19,063]

1 hour ago, gofuckyourself said:

I never had the luxury of getting used to first class/premium flights but the special lady friend insists on always flying first class. And I definitely see why.

Shes trynna meet the next nnm to have a backup option

[gofuckyourself 8,112]

6 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

Shes trynna meet the next nnm to have a backup option

She is a sugar momma at times. 

I'm a lucky guy. Having an 11 inch cock can cause some problems, but it has a few advantages.