Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[GoPokes83 2,248]

Go to cash a check at my bank( national chain.)  I produce Drivers License and have already written endorsement & my account number on back of check.
Hand them to teller and tell her I need it cashed.
" Please insert your debit card and enter your pin.  There may be fees associated with this transaction."
"For a $75 check on an account in use since 1989?  Just cash the check.  You have everything you need."
Manager gives her the nod to do it.  Why?  Why the fuck are the extra steps even needed, and why can't people have any awareness?  MUST STICK TO SCRIPT!!!
 
I'm just gonna start burying my money in the back yard.

What’s your address? You know, for pizza delivery reasons.

[elfenix 34,749]

when the manlet walking into the restroom before you takes the last adult urinal, leaving you with the child height one

[GoPokes83 2,248]

when the manlet walking into the restroom before you takes the last adult urinal, leaving you with the child height one

Some of us can use the extra distance.

[GoPokes83 2,248]

When I go to Buc Ee’s I have to enter my pin for every transaction when I insert my card, but if I do the no contact thing and it wirelessly reads the chip it doesn’t ask for it. So if anyone ever gets ahold of my card they can just use the chip reader and have full access to my dozens of dollars.

[Superhero 9,023]

On 2/17/2024 at 5:09 AM, Pimphand said:

Smacking your food

If you do those things your parents sucked dick at raising kids....

Not to mention elbows on the table, and feet on the chair.

Trust me, I tell my daughter EVERY SINGLE MEAL and she still eats like she’s raised by wolves. 
 

 

6 hours ago, elfenix said:

when the manlet walking into the restroom before you takes the last adult urinal, leaving you with the child height one

Or the full size man who picks the kid urinal because it’s the first one he sees, so my son does the pee pee dance while the dude with a enlarged prostate drips urine for the next 3 minutes minutes. 

[NWBuck 8,629]

7 hours ago, elfenix said:

when the manlet walking into the restroom before you takes the last adult urinal, leaving you with the child height one

[InkaUtexas 26,885]

44 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Not to mention elbows on the table, and feet on the chair.

Trust me, I tell my daughter EVERY SINGLE MEAL and she still eats like she’s raised by wolves. 
 

 

Or the full size man who picks the kid urinal because it’s the first one he sees, so my son does the pee pee dance while the dude with a enlarged prostate drips urine for the next 3 minutes minutes. 

First. This is why my mother carried a wooden spoon.

Concerning the other, hold boy up. Jeez man, do some push ups.

[chikin23 385]

when the manlet walking into the restroom before you takes the last adult urinal, leaving you with the child height one

The water is cold…and deep.

[Sam Lin 3,597]

9 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

First. This is why my mother carried a wooden spoon.

Chancleta will solve this issue quickly.

[shakahorn 1,657]

18 hours ago, elfenix said:

when the manlet walking into the restroom before you takes the last adult urinal, leaving you with the child height one

Years ago when my regular bar finally went ADA, they tore out two regular urinals and put in one low urinal.  Couple days later, someone graffiti'd Big Dick on the low one and Small Dick on the regular one.  Of course, all the regulars used the low one if both were free, lest someone walk in on them and risk being the butt of the joke at the bar for the next few minutes.  For that reason, I've been conditioned to using low urinals if ever available.

[Underdog 29,189]

16 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Some of us can use the extra distance.

PM sent

[Superhero 9,023]

13 hours ago, InkaUtexas said:

First. This is why my mother carried a wooden spoon.

Concerning the other, hold boy up. Jeez man, do some push ups.

If you're asking do I even lift bro? The answer is not recently.

Yes I did lift my son at the time. I said it to be funny, but obviously my sense of humor is not well received here.

[Sandman 3,431]

I bought a new fridge, it was delivered today. It didn't come with a manual. I understand, it's the 21st century, I can go online to get it. But then I found out I can't adjust the temp on the machine, I have to download an app to do that. WTF???

My wife already had the app due to her having a Samsung phone but still, that's fucking stupid.

[WhatTheBuck 28,929]

On 2/19/2024 at 1:36 PM, shakahorn said:

Years ago when my regular bar finally went ADA, they tore out two regular urinals and put in one low urinal.  Couple days later, someone graffiti'd Big Dick on the low one and Small Dick on the regular one.  Of course, all the regulars used the low one if both were free, lest someone walk in on them and risk being the butt of the joke at the bar for the next few minutes.  For that reason, I've been conditioned to using low urinals if ever available.

When I was a young child, the church we attended had urinals like these:

[baboso 6,105]

15 hours ago, Sandman said:

I bought a new fridge, it was delivered today. It didn't come with a manual. I understand, it's the 21st century, I can go online to get it. But then I found out I can't adjust the temp on the machine, I have to download an app to do that. WTF???

My wife already had the app due to her having a Samsung phone but still, that's fucking stupid.

You bought a Samsung fridge?  Prepare thy anus.

[Sandman 3,431]

3 minutes ago, baboso said:

You bought a Samsung fridge?  Prepare thy anus.

I don't completely disagree but I'm replacing a 11 year old Samsung that's been fine for us. Only replacing it because my daughter needs one and it's an excuse to upgrade and give her the old one. 

[Sandman 3,431]

15 hours ago, Sandman said:

I bought a new fridge, it was delivered today. It didn't come with a manual. I understand, it's the 21st century, I can go online to get it. But then I found out I can't adjust the temp on the machine, I have to download an app to do that. WTF???

My wife already had the app due to her having a Samsung phone but still, that's fucking stupid.

Update: I found the manual, it was in a drawer that I didn't even know was there. Also, figured out how to make adjustments without the app but it still sucks. Not intuative at all.

[tbone_ 14,444]

If not Samsung, what kind of fridge are we supposed to buy that hasn’t been enshittified?

[NeverMarryAStripper 22,298]

One from 20 years ago

[UnivTex34 1,765]

5 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

If not Samsung, what kind of fridge are we supposed to buy that hasn’t been enshittified?

We just replaced our 7 year old Samsung from hell. I'll never buy one again. 

Seems my research said LG or GE. We went with a GE Profile my wife fell in love with.

[DigglerontheHoof 21,551]

25 minutes ago, UnivTex34 said:

We just replaced our 7 year old Samsung from hell. I'll never buy one again. 

Seems my research said LG or GE. We went with a GE Profile my wife fell in love with.

Bought a Samsung refrigerator in 2006 and replaced it in 2008.  It was the biggest piece of shit I've ever purchased.  I'll never own anything from Samsung again. 

[mininghorn88 2,336]

This is the coffee maker where I work. Without fail people will leave less than one cup of coffee in the pot, often time less than a cup in both pots combined. So if you want a cup then you have to finish off what is there and then wait for another pot to make.

It is not hard to make coffee. If you are depleting the volume in a pot to less than a cup, then simply remove the old grounds and filter and replace it before you walk away. No need to add water since it is hard plumbed in. The coffee can brew unattended and be ready for the next person.

[UnivTex34 1,765]

4 minutes ago, DigglerontheHoof said:

Bought a Samsung refrigerator in 2006 and replaced it in 2008.  It was the biggest piece of shit I've ever purchased.  I'll never own anything from Samsung again. 

We should have done that. But I'm cheap, so I would take it apart and fix it, once or twice a year. Finally had something break that I couldn't fix myself. Jumped on the opportunity to replace.

[GopherRock 1,773]

Fucking robocallers are back, except now they're leaving voicemails containing their whole fucking schtick. Fuck you!

[nnm 37,906]

2 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

This is the coffee maker where I work. Without fail people will leave less than one cup of coffee in the pot, often time less than a cup in both pots combined. So if you want a cup then you have to finish off what is there and then wait for another pot to make.

It is not hard to make coffee. If you are depleting the volume in a pot to less than a cup, then simply remove the old grounds and filter and replace it before you walk away. No need to add water since it is hard plumbed in. The coffee can brew unattended and be ready for the next person.

30 years ago, it was my first day on the job. It was a small company.  I showed up early and the receptionist let me in.  They had a coffee machine exactly like this, as had my previous employer.  At my previous employer, there wasn't a direct water line, so you filled the reservoir with a coffee pot full of water and then brewed.

Seeking to make a good impression, I made coffee exactly as I thought it should be done.  I filled the reservoir with a pot full of water, put the filter and coffee in, pressed brew, and went on about my business.

Because there WAS a direct water line into the machine at this new employer, the machine proceeded to pump the regular amount of water, plus the extra pot that I put in the reservoir, through the filter.  There was coffee all over the kitchen.

Way to make a first impression!

[mininghorn88 2,336]

10 minutes ago, nnm said:

30 years ago, it was my first day on the job. It was a small company.  I showed up early and the receptionist let me in.  They had a coffee machine exactly like this, as had my previous employer.  At my previous employer, there wasn't a direct water line, so you filled the reservoir with a coffee pot full of water and then brewed.

Seeking to make a good impression, I made coffee exactly as I thought it should be done.  I filled the reservoir with a pot full of water, put the filter and coffee in, pressed brew, and went on about my business.

Because there WAS a direct water line into the machine at this new employer, the machine proceeded to pump the regular amount of water, plus the extra pot that I put in the reservoir, through the filter.  There was coffee all over the kitchen.

Way to make a first impression!

At least you were trying!

[Paco 1,960]

30 years ago, it was my first day on the job. It was a small company.  I showed up early and the receptionist let me in.  They had a coffee machine exactly like this, as had my previous employer.  At my previous employer, there wasn't a direct water line, so you filled the reservoir with a coffee pot full of water and then brewed.
Seeking to make a good impression, I made coffee exactly as I thought it should be done.  I filled the reservoir with a pot full of water, put the filter and coffee in, pressed brew, and went on about my business.
Because there WAS a direct water line into the machine at this new employer, the machine proceeded to pump the regular amount of water, plus the extra pot that I put in the reservoir, through the filter.  There was coffee all over the kitchen.
Way to make a first impression!

Is this from Reader's Digest?

[Native Horn 3,581]

20 minutes ago, nnm said:

30 years ago, it was my first day on the job. It was a small company.  I showed up early and the receptionist let me in.  They had a coffee machine exactly like this, as had my previous employer.  At my previous employer, there wasn't a direct water line, so you filled the reservoir with a coffee pot full of water and then brewed.

Seeking to make a good impression, I made coffee exactly as I thought it should be done.  I filled the reservoir with a pot full of water, put the filter and coffee in, pressed brew, and went on about my business.

Because there WAS a direct water line into the machine at this new employer, the machine proceeded to pump the regular amount of water, plus the extra pot that I put in the reservoir, through the filter.  There was coffee all over the kitchen.

Way to make a first impression!

Definite grounds for improvement.

[Sandman 3,431]

As a non-coffee drinker, I can't believe the amount of whining and crying from bitch-ass coffee drinkers at every job I've ever had. "Were's the coffee? Are we out? Where will I put my creamer? Why hasn't the coffee guy came yet? The machine is broken, the office needs to pay for a new one ASAP!!". Once, our director asked if we should use the "Friday Jeans" fund to pay for a new Keurig, since the old one broke. I said what do the non-coffee people get? Nothing was the answer, so I voted no out of spite. 

[High Plains Drifter 11,187]

1 minute ago, Sandman said:

As a non-coffee drinker, I can't believe the amount of whining and crying from bitch-ass coffee drinkers at every job I've ever had. "Were's the coffee? Are we out? Where will I put my creamer? Why hasn't the coffee guy came yet? The machine is broken, the office needs to pay for a new one ASAP!!". Once, our director asked if we should use the "Friday Jeans" fund to pay for a new Keurig, since the old one broke. I said what do the non-coffee people get? Nothing was the answer, so I voted no out of spite. 

 

you get not having to listen to the coffee babies crying about the broke Keurig. 

 

[InkaUtexas 26,885]

What the hell is Friday Jeans fund? Corporate wreath fund?

Stupid office shit like that makes me surly.

[Sandman 3,431]

10 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

What the hell is Friday Jeans fund? Corporate wreath fund?

Stupid office shit like that makes me surly.

We used to be "Business casual" with jeans allowed on friday if you donate a buck. That went away a few years ago and now it's jeans errrry day.

[mininghorn88 2,336]

17 minutes ago, BeardIP said:

Looks like a Kwik-Kar Oil & Lube breakroom tbh

Functional if not fancy.  We are moving into a new corporate office in 3 weeks.  We will pretty much have to check our shoes at the door in the new "state-of-the-art" facility.  We will all now have 6x8 cubicles to promote "collaboration".  Not a fan particularly since I have had an office with a window and door for about 30 years now.

[Macanudo 13,325]

2 hours ago, nnm said:

30 years ago, it was my first day on the job. It was a small company.  I showed up early and the receptionist let me in.  They had a coffee machine exactly like this, as had my previous employer.  At my previous employer, there wasn't a direct water line, so you filled the reservoir with a coffee pot full of water and then brewed.

Seeking to make a good impression, I made coffee exactly as I thought it should be done.  I filled the reservoir with a pot full of water, put the filter and coffee in, pressed brew, and went on about my business.

Because there WAS a direct water line into the machine at this new employer, the machine proceeded to pump the regular amount of water, plus the extra pot that I put in the reservoir, through the filter.  There was coffee all over the kitchen.

Way to make a first impression!

And now nnm is the CEO of a large American corporation.   The Peter Principle at work.

 

[High Plains Drifter 11,187]

22 minutes ago, Sandman said:

We used to be "Business casual" with jeans allowed on friday if you donate a buck. That went away a few years ago and now it's jeans errrry day.

 

The Dismal Tide

 

[Ignatius 4,142]

On 2/17/2024 at 2:54 PM, slorch said:

Related:  5AM flight this morning.  2 different random pairs who just met on the plane, just yammering on about nothing important for 45min/ hour.

Small talk is a waste of time.  Hearing others do it is even more painful.   Shut your pie hole and stop droning on for crisake.

Fucking this….

[Vic Mackey 47,958]

Fucking robocallers are back, except now they're leaving voicemails containing their whole fucking schtick. Fuck you!

I screen every single call that isn't in my contacts list. I'll then look up the number. If it isn't a legit business, it gets blocked. Leave a voicemail and it's scam, blocked. They have picked up for me in the past few weeks, too.

[Okie State 3,889]

We used to be "Business casual" with jeans allowed on friday if you donate a buck. That went away a few years ago and now it's jeans errrry day.

You should be grateful to your executive overlords for allowing you such a generous perk. I know I am.

[Al_4_ISU 12,623]

23 hours ago, GopherRock said:

Fucking robocallers are back, except now they're leaving voicemails containing their whole fucking schtick. Fuck you!

Glad I'm not the only one.  It's been relentless the past 5-6 days.  I either get "you have unpaid taxes" or what sounds like 1:30 of dial up modem noises.

[Gatorubet 30,719]

21 hours ago, Sandman said:

We used to be "Business casual" with jeans allowed on friday if you donate a buck. That went away a few years ago and now it's jeans errrry day.

The death of bespoke. Pour one out. 

[tbone_ 14,444]

You can still wear whatever you want

[elfenix 34,749]

People who can't operate the drive up ATM with their left hand so theyve got the door open and are hanging half out the car

[High Plains Drifter 11,187]

 

I don't hang halfway out. I get completely out of the car, shut the door, and then lean against it.

[SHOOTER12 8,886]

On 2/21/2024 at 12:23 PM, Paco said:

On 2/21/2024 at 12:10 PM, nnm said:

30 years ago, it was my first day on the job. It was a small company.  I showed up early and the receptionist let me in.  They had a coffee machine exactly like this, as had my previous employer.  At my previous employer, there wasn't a direct water line, so you filled the reservoir with a coffee pot full of water and then brewed.
Seeking to make a good impression, I made coffee exactly as I thought it should be done.  I filled the reservoir with a pot full of water, put the filter and coffee in, pressed brew, and went on about my business.
Because there WAS a direct water line into the machine at this new employer, the machine proceeded to pump the regular amount of water, plus the extra pot that I put in the reservoir, through the filter.  There was coffee all over the kitchen.
Way to make a first impression!

Is this from Reader's Digest?

No, it's from "Brown Nose Weekly".

[SHOOTER12 8,886]

On 2/21/2024 at 12:31 PM, Native Horn said:

Definite grounds for improvement.

Quite strong to strong...

[Bama Llama 1,508]

“All the sudden, . . .”

followed closely by 

“All of the sudden, . . .”;

phrases which no one ever wrote, read or said until the 70s.

Now these spoken phrases are showing up on local news and happy talk segues and any podcast. I’ve yet to see either in actual print.

Please, just make it stop.

[Guest]

 

[52-80 19,377]

ahhhh the new Outlook monthly calendar view does not let me scroll continuously through the calendar.  i have to view 1 month at a time. 

 

[Crapinon 2,373]

On 2/21/2024 at 9:56 AM, mininghorn88 said:

This is the coffee maker where I work. Without fail people will leave less than one cup of coffee in the pot, often time less than a cup in both pots combined. So if you want a cup then you have to finish off what is there and then wait for another pot to make.

It is not hard to make coffee. If you are depleting the volume in a pot to less than a cup, then simply remove the old grounds and filter and replace it before you walk away. No need to add water since it is hard plumbed in. The coffee can brew unattended and be ready for the next person.

Triggering pic. Years ago I went into an account and the purchasing agent was on the phone. She told me to get a cup of coffee and wait. They had one of these that hadn't been cleaned in a long while. The pot was stuck to the burner and when I pulled on the handle the pot broke. I poured an entire pot of boiling coffee on me that hit about 2" below my nuts and down my leg. My skin peeled like 3 ply toilet paper. 3rd degree burns and I still have scars on my legs. I hate these with a passion. Definitely make me surly.

[PvilleStang 2,989]

On 2/22/2024 at 11:39 AM, Al_4_ISU said:

Glad I'm not the only one.  It's been relentless the past 5-6 days.  I either get "you have unpaid taxes" or what sounds like 1:30 of dial up modem noises.

Every time you pick up, and hear a beep, then someone from Bangladesh introduces themselves as Dave or Mike or some other really American name.  Then they get mad when you ask for their Indian name...

On 2/21/2024 at 9:56 AM, mininghorn88 said:

This is the coffee maker where I work. Without fail people will leave less than one cup of coffee in the pot, often time less than a cup in both pots combined. So if you want a cup then you have to finish off what is there and then wait for another pot to make.

It is not hard to make coffee. If you are depleting the volume in a pot to less than a cup, then simply remove the old grounds and filter and replace it before you walk away. No need to add water since it is hard plumbed in. The coffee can brew unattended and be ready for the next person.

I hate the idea of these.  Mary Jo over in Accounting who's been knuckle deep in her left nostril shows up and runs out of coffee, so she uses the booger hook hand to reload the coffee maker?!  Yeah, no thanks.  The main advantage of the single-serve coffee machines: no nasty hands touching stuff that who knows when it was last cleaned.