Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[YGIFS 19445]

I get that they have to set the volume of those things so loud because they're obviously at intersections with lots of traffic noise.  But early in the morning or late at night, they would do well to add some 37cent feature that turns the fucking thing down.  It really does startle you sometimes.  And as much as I'm interested in a Knicks game highlight from last month, just shut it off.  

noCR, but I live close to a former Chief of Staff of a prominent Texas Statewide official.  And we bump into each other all the time at the grocery or Chevron.  And I was remarking to him, "Hey, Texas should allow these scree deals to charge your card one more dollar and you play video poker or hand of blackjack and it just charges your card.  And if you win, you get money put back on your card or rewards points or an extra gallon or whatever, I dunno."  And Mr. H said, "We thought about that awhile back, but it's still a form of gambling so it's a non-starter."  I said, "Cool, I'll go inside and buy a lottery ticket then which is totally not gambling."  But we did concoct an idea outside Trader Joe's during Covid, and you can thank our idea for allowing to buy beer/wine now at 10am on Sundays instead of 12pm.  Every once in awhile, my goofy ideas pan out./csb

[ABSR 5275]

13 hours ago, elfenix said:

Hey, he obviously lost his leg in 'Nam and has PTSD and thinks he is still there.  Cut him some slack.

[Sandman 3399]

21 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Of course at 5'11" and 138lbs

Ha, that's funny. My wife is also 5'11 and weighs....my wife is also 5'11. How interesting!

[Fudge Nuggets 18995]

Thirty minutes or less left in the work day and someone I've never heard of sends a Teams message just saying 'hey...'

Yeah, I'm not responding to you.  Dipshit.

[Fudge Nuggets 18995]

On 2/21/2024 at 9:56 AM, mininghorn88 said:

This is the coffee maker where I work. Without fail people will leave less than one cup of coffee in the pot, often time less than a cup in both pots combined. So if you want a cup then you have to finish off what is there and then wait for another pot to make.

It is not hard to make coffee. If you are depleting the volume in a pot to less than a cup, then simply remove the old grounds and filter and replace it before you walk away. No need to add water since it is hard plumbed in. The coffee can brew unattended and be ready for the next person.

I'm a big fan of Community Coffee in general, but that "Cafe Special" roast is absolute dog shit.  We have to use 2x bags per pot to get any kick at all at our office.

[Jameslaw121 4440]

On 2/27/2024 at 9:54 AM, PvilleStang said:

Push all the buttons to the right of the screen.  Usually the second or third button mutes that crap.  I think I'm more pissed about all the buttons you have to push before you can start pumping your gas.  "Do you want to add fuel additive into your gas today?"  "Would you like a receipt?"  "Do you have a fuel rewards account?"  "Would you like to join?"  Just let me swipe my card, verify the chip, and let me pump my 87 octane, asshole.  And take your 10% ethanol and shove it.

Oh you wanted a receipt? Haha fuck you! Walk your ass in the store and the receipt 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Thirty minutes or less left in the work day and someone I've never heard of sends a Teams message just saying 'hey...'

Yeah, I'm not responding to you.  Dipshit.

Gets on my last nerve.  Just fucking say what you need.   ‘Greetings and go get fucked’ should be an acceptable professional response.

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20304]

26 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Oh you wanted a receipt? Haha fuck you! Walk your ass in the store and the receipt 

Yeah, after being interrogated and asking you if you'd like a receipt, you wait for you gas to pump and then when it's finished you stand there waiting for the receipt they asked if you wanted and get told that you have to go stand in line and wait for the clerk to print it out.

Fuckers.

[Fudge Nuggets 18995]

1 hour ago, slorch said:

Gets on my last nerve.  Just fucking say what you need.   ‘Greetings and go get fucked’ should be an acceptable professional response.

I have noticed that most of the time when someone just sends a "hey" message and I ignore them, I never hear from them again.

[mininghorn88 2243]

22 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

I have noticed that most of the time when someone just sends a "hey" message and I ignore them, I never hear from them again.

"Hey"

Edited March 1 by mininghorn88

[Prepuce of Doom 20906]

Respond with "Hay is for horses, asshole." next time. 

[High Plains Drifter 10937]

13 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Respond with "Hay is for horses, asshole." next time. 

 

cows eat it too, dickhead. 

 

 

[Deej 76218]

People who say "times that by" instead of "multiply by". Sorry you didn't make it past 2nd grade. 

[pops 6959]

E tickets. 

I've saved every ticket stub since high school so over 30 years worth of ticket stubs. There is some cool shit in there. Steve Nash beating Arizona in the tourney. Jordan flu game. A superbowl and some pretty good concerts mixed in with all kinds of random shit but they all bring back memories. 

Getting tickets to opening weekend for my kids and my dad at Chavez. He's a dodger fan and somehow I ended up a cardinals fan but whatever. His first game at Chavez was watching Kofax pitch in the world series. Now he's going to get to see ohtani play in the same barn. And all I will have is a fucking email and a bar code. I fucking hate e tickets. 

[BearMace 2180]

Not trivial, but...

 

[SHOOTER12 8769]

1 hour ago, BearMace said:

Not trivial, but...

 

Arrrgggghhh!!!!

[Underdog 28229]

Cause we got a little convoy Rockin' through the night. Yeah, we got a little convoy, Ain't she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our convoy Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way. We gonna roll this truckin' convoy 'Cross the U-S-A. Convoy!

[Native Horn 3465]

5 hours ago, Underdog said:

Cause we got a little convoy Rockin' through the night. Yeah, we got a little convoy, Ain't she a beautiful sight? Come on and join our convoy Ain't nothin' gonna get in our way. We gonna roll this truckin' convoy 'Cross the U-S-A. Convoy!

So we crashed the gate doin' 98, said let them truckers roll, 10-4!

[gofuckyourself 8066]

On 3/3/2024 at 2:32 PM, pops said:

E tickets. 

I've saved every ticket stub since high school so over 30 years worth of ticket stubs. There is some cool shit in there. Steve Nash beating Arizona in the tourney. Jordan flu game. A superbowl and some pretty good concerts mixed in with all kinds of random shit but they all bring back memories. 

Getting tickets to opening weekend for my kids and my dad at Chavez. He's a dodger fan and somehow I ended up a cardinals fan but whatever. His first game at Chavez was watching Kofax pitch in the world series. Now he's going to get to see ohtani play in the same barn. And all I will have is a fucking email and a bar code. I fucking hate e tickets. 

After Game 6 ALCS I got an email for a "FREE Digital Commemorative Ticket" ... initial caps because it is so damn special to get a digital ticket.

Or I can pay someone to design and print me one.

Can probably be crossposted with the enshittification thread.

[Superhero 8636]

I wonder if one of my direct reports (call him Zed) is on the autism scale or just has no self awareness.

During our weekly check-ins, I tell Zed again and again to work on 3 things... 1) communication with the team; 2) show up at the office unless there's something pressing at home; 3) get ahead of whatever's going on so he can manage the situation instead of being managed by the situation.

We had a proposal due last Wednesday. It was all hands on deck for the last push.  Zed told me after our Monday check-in that needed to leave at 3PM to coach little league. Never mind the fact that the proposal due date was set a month ago. 

I asked the project manager*** how Zed was doing. The PM says "I think he's doing okay". I dig into Zed's work, and he hadn't even started preparing for the meetings, and was going to wing it, "learn the project along the way". I sent Zed a text that night to say he needed to get his shit together.

The fucked up part is he argued back, saying he's the expert, and I should just let him do his thing. At this point, a lot of people are tired of Zed's shit, and no matter how much I tell him to work on this or that, he doesn't get it. I've started sending him emails documenting our conversations so he'll remember, and so I can give them to HR when the time comes.

 

*** Oh yeah, we're firing the project manager because he's a bumbling idiot who fooled ALL OF US during his interview. 

[nnm 35669]

5 hours ago, Superhero said:

I wonder if one of my direct reports (call him Zed) is on the autism scale or just has no self awareness.

During our weekly check-ins, I tell Zed again and again to work on 3 things... 1) communication with the team; 2) show up at the office unless there's something pressing at home; 3) get ahead of whatever's going on so he can manage the situation instead of being managed by the situation.

We had a proposal due last Wednesday. It was all hands on deck for the last push.  Zed told me after our Monday check-in that needed to leave at 3PM to coach little league. Never mind the fact that the proposal due date was set a month ago. 

I asked the project manager*** how Zed was doing. The PM says "I think he's doing okay". I dig into Zed's work, and he hadn't even started preparing for the meetings, and was going to wing it, "learn the project along the way". I sent Zed a text that night to say he needed to get his shit together.

The fucked up part is he argued back, saying he's the expert, and I should just let him do his thing. At this point, a lot of people are tired of Zed's shit, and no matter how much I tell him to work on this or that, he doesn't get it. I've started sending him emails documenting our conversations so he'll remember, and so I can give them to HR when the time comes.

 

*** Oh yeah, we're firing the project manager because he's a bumbling idiot who fooled ALL OF US during his interview. 

Sounds like you need to go medieval on Zed. 

[Okie State 3708]

On 2/29/2024 at 7:04 PM, Fudge Nuggets said:

I have noticed that most of the time when someone just sends a "hey" message and I ignore them, I never hear from them again.

The best is when you ignore them and then they respond 'nevermind, I figured it out!'.

You're welcome. Glad I could help.

[Guest]

Fuck group projects( yes I realize some are unavoidable.)  There are always fuckers like Zed who expect the group to carry them, and might even clamor for the recognition.

There are laws on the books that keeps them from straight up getting their asses kicked like they deserve.  Fucking mooches.

Edited March 6 by slorch

[closetohumping 17302]

Rideshare drivers who smoke.   Rideshare drivers who don’t turn the AC on. 
Rideshare riders who harass rideshare drivers

[closetohumping 17302]

7 hours ago, Superhero said:

I wonder if one of my direct reports (call him Zed) is on the autism scale or just has no self awareness.

During our weekly check-ins, I tell Zed again and again to work on 3 things... 1) communication with the team; 2) show up at the office unless there's something pressing at home; 3) get ahead of whatever's going on so he can manage the situation instead of being managed by the situation.

We had a proposal due last Wednesday. It was all hands on deck for the last push.  Zed told me after our Monday check-in that needed to leave at 3PM to coach little league. Never mind the fact that the proposal due date was set a month ago. 

I asked the project manager*** how Zed was doing. The PM says "I think he's doing okay". I dig into Zed's work, and he hadn't even started preparing for the meetings, and was going to wing it, "learn the project along the way". I sent Zed a text that night to say he needed to get his shit together.

The fucked up part is he argued back, saying he's the expert, and I should just let him do his thing. At this point, a lot of people are tired of Zed's shit, and no matter how much I tell him to work on this or that, he doesn't get it. I've started sending him emails documenting our conversations so he'll remember, and so I can give them to HR when the time comes.

 

*** Oh yeah, we're firing the project manager because he's a bumbling idiot who fooled ALL OF US during his interview. 

You sure the pm is the issue or Ted?

[PvilleStang 2810]

8 hours ago, Superhero said:

*** Oh yeah, we're firing the project manager because he's a bumbling idiot who fooled ALL OF US during his interview. 

To be honest (and no offense to any PMs here), PMs aren't the best and brightest in their fields of work.  They are the OCD person who can put together a timeline.  All my previous employers, PMs are turning over like crazy.  I can think of two that are worth anything, and they tend to pivot into a bigger and better role after time.

[Superhero 8636]

1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

You sure the pm is the issue or Ted?

Both are issues. The PM has fucked up 2 previous projects where I and another guy had to take over. Didn’t manage the team properly, and hiding bad news instead of bringing them up because he didn’t want to look bad. The decision has been made and just a matter of processing through HR.

 

25 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

To be honest (and no offense to any PMs here), PMs aren't the best and brightest in their fields of work.  They are the OCD person who can put together a timeline.  All my previous employers, PMs are turning over like crazy.  I can think of two that are worth anything, and they tend to pivot into a bigger and better role after time.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. I have a few guys who are great at leading groups and also putting their head down to do work. Others are just better individual contributors which is okay with me. 

[Underdog 28229]

REPEAT RANT: Motherfuckers who don’t refill the water reservoir of the break room Kuerig.  GDit, that little light is flashing for a reason, numbnuts. 

[PvilleStang 2810]

32 minutes ago, Underdog said:

REPEAT RANT: Motherfuckers who don’t refill the water reservoir of the break room Kuerig.  GDit, that little light is flashing for a reason, numbnuts. 

Freaking on the daily at our office.  Like clockwork, I go to get coffee, it's empty.  Some asshats only dump in a cup or so worth of water when the go to make coffee, too.

[Superhero 8636]

I had a come to Jesus meeting with Zed today. Pretty much told him to get his head on straight or he’ll be out of a job.

During the talk, I had to tell him to put down his fucking phone and flip it over because he wouldn’t stop looking at it.

The guy is late 30s but I swear he acts like a teenager at times.

 

 

[nnm 35669]

4 hours ago, Superhero said:

I had a come to Jesus meeting with Zed today. Pretty much told him to get his head on straight or he’ll be out of a job.

During the talk, I had to tell him to put down his fucking phone and flip it over because he wouldn’t stop looking at it.

The guy is late 30s but I swear he acts like a teenager at times.

 

 

Probably checking surly. 

[nnm 35669]

Pooping in airplane bathrooms makes me surly.  On short haul trips this can be easily avoided. But the trip I’m on currently was 42 hours door to door on the way there, and is about 50 hours door to door on the way back. I can’t go 2 days.
 

I’m halfway home. I’ve had to poop on 2 airplanes so far (combined outbound and return). Turkish and Kenya Air. 

Side note: my trip back across the Atlantic is on United. Other than American or Lufthansa, they have the surliest flight attendants in the world. And the airplane bathrooms are awful on United. 

[Sam Lin 3535]

United is such a crap experience.

[elfenix 34123]

[nnm 35669]

Now three different planes this trip. that last one is going to be very unpleasant for whoever goes in there next.  <Ace Ventura donotgointhere.gif>
 

This United plane is actually pretty good. The 30-something guy attendant in my section is very chipper and friendly. Nice change from the surly 50 and 60-something attendants who only take flights so they can keep their benefits, and only haven’t been fired because of their union status.  
As a severe claustrophobe, I don’t really care for the Polaris seating. I love the privacy, but the way they jam us in here is not pleasant. Air Canada BC is very similar. 

[PvilleStang 2810]

1 hour ago, nnm said:

Nice change from the surly 50 and 60-something attendants who only take flights so they can keep their benefits, and only haven’t been fired because of their union status.  

As many times as I've asked older flight attendants if they're on Surly, they've never admitted to it...

Edited March 7 by PvilleStang

[Armybrat 40559]

[Armybrat 40559]

14 hours ago, Superhero said:

I had a come to Jesus meeting with Zed today. Pretty much told him to get his head on straight or he’ll be out of a job.

During the talk, I had to tell him to put down his fucking phone and flip it over because he wouldn’t stop looking at it.

The guy is late 30s but I swear he acts like a teenager at times.

 

 

Maybe that dimwit Zed wants you to fire him so he can sue you for making him feel bad.

[deadshank 24645]

Oil change tech: “we checked all four tires while we were at it and added some pressure!”

Uh, thanks?  
 

Oh, dear  

 

[52-80 19000]

Wife bought me an order of 10 hot wings from a new joint and it turned out to be all drumsticks. 
 

flats > wings

[Bevo&Pevo 4932]

On 3/6/2024 at 9:21 PM, Superhero said:

I had a come to Jesus meeting with Zed today. Pretty much told him to get his head on straight or he’ll be out of a job.

During the talk, I had to tell him to put down his fucking phone and flip it over because he wouldn’t stop looking at it.

The guy is late 30s but I swear he acts like a teenager at times.

 

 

Zed works for you?  Damn, I bet you have an interesting job.

 

[Guest]

Every ad for the new stretchy pants that aren't ( allegedly) tight are modeled by the same twenty-something birdlegged motherfuckers who absolutely do NOT demonstrate how the "new pants" won't perform miracles for the fat dudes to whom they are marketing.

Maybe it doesn't exactly make me surly, but the ads are a fucking joke.  Show some 40 year olds who weigh 250# doing burpees or loading a smoker into the back of a pickup and maybe I'll consider the concept of your yoga pants for boys a win.

Edited March 11 by slorch

[HRSchenker 2224]

On 3/7/2024 at 2:36 PM, deadshank said:

Oil change tech: “we checked all four tires while we were at it and added some pressure!”

Uh, thanks?  
 

Oh, dear  

 

Is that in PSI? Holy shit you're a pot hole away from a massive explosion

[deadshank 24645]

27 minutes ago, HRSchenker said:

Is that in PSI? Holy shit you're a pot hole away from a massive explosion

Yes.   I survived.  

 

 

 

 

Barely

[Armybrat 40559]

On 3/9/2024 at 8:26 AM, Bevo&amp;Pevo said:

Zed works for you?  Damn, I bet you have an interesting job.

 

Good ol’ Rip Torn….Taylor High School, Class of 1948 - 15 years ahead of Mrs. Brat (Once a Duck, always a Duck)

 

[ztejas 42817]

On 3/7/2024 at 2:36 PM, deadshank said:

Oil change tech: “we checked all four tires while we were at it and added some pressure!”

Uh, thanks?  
 

Oh, dear  

 

What on earth. I would be fucking furious. 

[Native Horn 3465]

1 hour ago, deadshank said:

Yes.   I survived.  

 

 

 

 

Barely

It's all good.  Just hydrogen.

[ztejas 42817]

5 hours ago, Native Horn said:

It's all good.  Just hydrogen.

Hydrogen and oxygen have never killed anyone. 

Well except for the millions of drowning, hurricane, tsunami, flood-related deaths over the millenia.

But OUTSIDE of that.

[SHOOTER12 8769]

7 hours ago, ztejas said:

What on earth. I would be fucking furious. 

I had that happen to me in my Vette some years ago. I hadn't gone 2 miles and alarms started going off like crazy. I eased it back to the oil change place and lost it on them. Got a refund on the oil change and 2 years free service. THEY DO NOT CHECK THE TIRES, and I watched them the whole time afterwards. 

Edited March 12 by SHOOTER12

[elfenix 34123]

When I hit the tab key and word decides to reformat my whole fucking document