Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Brisketexan 103601]

I’m a super big fan of the people who love to get to their office super early, and decide to start calling people then. Love it when my phone rings and it’s a client or some such while I’m brushing my teeth at 7:00 am. Dude. The rest of the world does keep farmer’s hours like you do.

[InkaUtexas 24932]

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I’m a super big fan of the people who love to get to their office super early, and decide to start calling people then. Love it when my phone rings and it’s a client or some such while I’m brushing my teeth at 7:00 am. Dude. The rest of the world does keep farmer’s hours like you do.

Shit, I have three clocks up in the office just so I can keep up with time zones. My favorite is the 1AM call from Africa about some BS that was solved weeks ago. "So did you order the paper clips for project x?" No Mofo, that is your fucking job.

NZ is the best. They are behind in hours, but tomorrow. They forget that it is sunday here and keep scheduling meetings their mondays.

I am going to send them.

[cabowabo 4390]

The amount of time it takes people to conduct a god damn transaction at an ATM machine. And I'd say about 70% of the time the person is not dispensed any cash. Fuck people.

[YGIFS 19445]

5 minutes ago, cabowabo said:

The amount of time it takes people to conduct a god damn transaction at an ATM machine. And I'd say about 70% of the time the person is not dispensed any cash. Fuck people.

Yeah, it's annoying but I give 'em a pass these days.  A lot of folks age 40-80 are stuck in this weird nebula where they're not totally comfortable yet with mobile banking/fintech and a lot of transactions they would normally do in the teller lanes can't be done anymore because every single day in this country-10 bank branches permanently close their teller lanes.  And nobody wants to park and go inside.  So they at least see the ATM on the bank premises and feel a little safer depositing the checks or transferring money at the machine they know to be secured by the bank. 

Since our firm bought a 50-state chartered bank to use to 'host' myriad fintech platforms, I still make it a point to go inside to individual branches to see what's going on inside.  Makes me surly, Americans are paying an extra 50bps on their mortgages and business loans so 6 people can sit around inside doing nothing in a prominently placed building at $35/foot.   

[luke duke 6361]

We have electronic message boards throughout our facility with various information scrolling like a slide show.  Every month the company displays the names of the individuals that are celebrating work anniversaries or are having birthdays in the given month.  There are quite a few people that work here that goes by their middle name and not their first name.  The message board only displays their first and last name.  Without fail, each month there are multiple people on the board that has their first name listed but not the name that they commonly go by.  I get it if the employee has worked here less than 3 to 5 years but some of the people up there are 20 to 40 plus year employees.  How hard is it to actually personalize the message?

As someone who goes by his middle name I support this message.

OK, Adolf Scheiss Meister.

[Sam Lin 3535]

My bank branch actively steers everyone toward using the ATM services (or worse, to the app or website), it's like you have to pass their Gandalf "you shall not pass" to be allowed into the teller line. No you fuckers, it's like self checkout, sometimes I'm going to have you guys do the work.

[YGIFS 19445]

6 minutes ago, Sam Lin said:

My bank branch actively steers everyone toward using the ATM services (or worse, to the app or website), it's like you have to pass their Gandalf "you shall not pass" to be allowed into the teller line. No you fuckers, it's like self checkout, sometimes I'm going to have you guys do the work.

Probably for another thread, but if you could elaborate on your experience...I'd be interested.  I haven't really seen that.  I just see teller lanes open one day and the next day they're closed down with pylons in front of them on a weekly basis in Austin.  And the interior lobbies are shuttering down too (although not as quite the same speed).  But I've yet to see a teller direct somebody to get out of line and go the ATM instead.  They're just accelerating their own obsolescence.  

I once had my own analyst work up a quick fake pro-forma and preliminary business loan application on a "store" that would make $15/foot in revenue on a $25/foot lease (we didn't get into other G&A, just a quick beta test).  The loan officer of course immediately told him, "Well your other expenses and employee costs aside, just on the real estate model---we couldn't loan you the money because of your inability to just pay off the NNN lease costs."  Obviously the branch was subsidized by online activities and corporate, but Drew tells him, "Well your branch costs $25/foot and you only bring in $15/foot in revenue through this branch on its own."  Apparently the Asst. Mgr. was quite shocked and maybe rebooted his life choices after that.  There's lots of dying physical business models, but the banking one is so surly-inducing because they're the gatekeepers to most real estate, their model is so fucked up, they tend to put their branches in the most prime locations, and they pass all those costs along to us in the form of higher payments/fees and we get less in interest.  

[Sam Lin 3535]

Multiple visits multiple BOA branches. You go in and there's a "greeter" at a terminal. They ask wtf you're there for, you tell them, and they 80% of the time tell you it can be done at the ATM and would you like them to show you (deposits and withdrawals are most of these)? Or it can be done on the web site. If it needs an appointment they ask if you made one online, and when you say no they graciously check the schedule and help you schedule something on their terminal, usually hours away if you're lucky, in a few days if less lucky.

It isn't the teller telling anyone to get out of line. The greeter fucking actively deters you from being able to get in to the teller line.

[closetohumping 17299]

On 4/30/2024 at 9:47 AM, Brisketexan said:

I’m a super big fan of the people who love to get to their office super early, and decide to start calling people then. Love it when my phone rings and it’s a client or some such while I’m brushing my teeth at 7:00 am. Dude. The rest of the world does keep farmer’s hours like you do.

You can thank sales gurus for that.  "Call CEOs at 5, they're already hustling and will respect your hustle.  One call close!"

[tbone_ 13991]

Multiple visits multiple BOA branches. You go in and there's a "greeter" at a terminal. They ask wtf you're there for, you tell them, and they 80% of the time tell you it can be done at the ATM and would you like them to show you (deposits and withdrawals are most of these)? Or it can be done on the web site. If it needs an appointment they ask if you made one online, and when you say no they graciously check the schedule and help you schedule something on their terminal, usually hours away if you're lucky, in a few days if less lucky.
It isn't the teller telling anyone to get out of line. The greeter fucking actively deters you from being able to get in to the teller line.

I switched banks specifically because of this greeter. I figured that was better than stabbing the guy.

[YGIFS 19445]

3 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Multiple visits multiple BOA branches. You go in and there's a "greeter" at a terminal. They ask wtf you're there for, you tell them, and they 80% of the time tell you it can be done at the ATM and would you like them to show you (deposits and withdrawals are most of these)? Or it can be done on the web site. If it needs an appointment they ask if you made one online, and when you say no they graciously check the schedule and help you schedule something on their terminal, usually hours away if you're lucky, in a few days if less lucky.

It isn't the teller telling anyone to get out of line. The greeter fucking actively deters you from being able to get in to the teller line.

I haven't seen that yet.  Like an even more annoying Wal-Mart greeter?  Wow.  I guess it's a conditioning exercise to get you used to doing shit outside/online/mobile.  The people at those desks aren't doing anything.  Nobody just rolls in on a whim to rollover an IRA, that's not a thing.  Gotta be awkward for those employees to watch a fellow co-worker purposely encouraging customers to leave to they have less and less justification to exist.  

1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

I switched banks specifically because of this greeter. I figured that was better than stabbing the guy.

"Welcome in sir, thank you for your new business.  We always like to ask what made you switch banks so that we may better serve you?"

tbone, "I stabbed the greeter at my last bank in the kidney.  Also your CD rates look more competitive."

"Okay, we'll that's a capital crime since it was an FDIC institution.  But we can let that slide because we're running a promotion right now on really exciting home improvement loans."  

[Lat22 3951]

The number and size of bags that people carry on to airplanes these days. It had to have added a minimum of 15 minutes to the boarding process today. Fuck people and fuck the airlines for not reigning this shit in. 

[Lat22 3951]

Wrong thread. 

Edited May 2 by Lat22
Derp

[Superhero 8631]

31 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

The number and size of bags that people carry on to airplanes these days. It had to have added a minimum of 15 minutes to the boarding process today. Fuck people and fuck the airlines for not reigning this shit in. 

Sorry that you’re boarding group 9.

[mininghorn88 2243]

On 2/12/2024 at 3:17 PM, Scheiss Meister said:

As someone who goes by his middle name I support this message.

I am celebrating a major anniversary at work next week. I told HR a couple of months ago that if the name that I go by wasn’t on the certificate then I wasn’t accepting it. The certificates come from our corporate office so who knows what will be on there. I further told HR that I didn’t care if they had to white it out and hand write it in. We will see what happens but I feel like I am going to be disappointed since I most likely will leave the reception without a certificate.

[52-80 18987]

14 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

My bank branch actively steers everyone toward using the ATM services (or worse, to the app or website), it's like you have to pass their Gandalf "you shall not pass" to be allowed into the teller line. No you fuckers, it's like self checkout, sometimes I'm going to have you guys do the work.

"I want to flirt with the teller with the big cans"

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11536]

Reign

 

Rein

 

 

Rain

 

[SHOOTER12 8769]

On 4/19/2024 at 11:51 AM, Incredulity said:

medicare benefits phone spam. 

 

Just got one from "united arab emirates"

 

What the fuck

 

and NO i am not as old as my avatar. 

Damn all thr medicare calls and commercials 

 

[High Plains Drifter 10931]

On 5/1/2024 at 10:13 PM, Superhero said:

Sorry that you’re boarding group 9.

 

Do the group 1 people get to take off sooner? 

 

 

[nnm 35627]

18 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Do the group 1 people get to take off sooner? 

 

 

No, but there is room for their carry-on bags. 

[Prepuce of Doom 20905]

20 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Do the group 1 people get to take off sooner? 

 

 

They’re usually at the front of the plane, so yes, they generally take off slightly before the people in the very rear of the aircraft. 

[Superhero 8631]

Wish I could fart on command. Because I would totally crop dust the people in 1st class. 

[nnm 35627]

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

Wish I could fart on command. Because I would totally crop dust the people in 1st class. 

We asked the attendant to draw the curtain and keep you out. 

[Superhero 8631]

4 hours ago, nnm said:

We asked the attendant to draw the curtain and keep you out. 

That is the subtlest of subtlest humblebrags. Bravo nnm. 

[nnm 35627]

3 hours ago, Superhero said:

That is the subtlest of subtlest humblebrags. Bravo nnm. 

Ha. Those days are gone. I had a 25-year career in the energy industry. Almost always sat in the front of the plane. Now I have a semi-retirement gig with a non-profit and I sit in the back. 

[Superhero 8631]

Semi-retired after 25 plus a few years…

Oops you did it again. 😀

[Bullneck 18744]

I'm really tired of that commercial for the kitchen counter top compost machine.

I can't even believe someone invented a kitchen counter top compost machine.

[Biff Tannen 45151]

On 5/4/2024 at 9:10 AM, Bullneck said:

I'm really tired of that commercial for the kitchen counter top compost machine.

I can't even believe someone invented a kitchen counter top compost machine.

And that it costs several hundred dollars. 

[Bullneck 18744]

I get very surly when I'm going to click on something and just as I do the page loads and end up clicking on something else.  

[ztejas 42802]

On 5/2/2024 at 9:42 AM, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

Reign

 

Rein

 

 

Rain

 

Flair and flare is one that I constantly see people fucking up.

Flair:

Flare:

[Superhero 8631]

 

 

[CoTex 1157]

Having lunch in Norman OK, and there’s a big table next to me full of loud people.

they’re trying to introduce someone not from Oklahoma to country music.  One guy says “always listen to George Strait or Clint black.  They’re the only ones that are good and they’re virtually indistinguishable.”

Now I’m having an existential crisis.  All my education, hard work and discipline have brought me to this point where I’m in Norman Oklahoma listen to this nonsense.  Mistakes were made.

[PvilleStang 2809]

8 minutes ago, CoTex said:

Having lunch in Norman OK, and there’s a big table next to me full of loud people.

they’re trying to introduce someone not from Oklahoma to country music.  One guy says “always listen to George Strait or Clint black.  They’re the only ones that are good and they’re virtually indistinguishable.”

Now I’m having an existential crisis.  All my education, hard work and discipline have brought me to this point where I’m in Norman Oklahoma listen to this nonsense.  Mistakes were made.

Easy, you need to offer to buy them a round of drinks, then walk up to the waitress and tell her numbnuts over there who doesn't know country music has offered to pick up your tab, then grab a few candy bars and a newspaper and walk out the door.

[nnm 35627]

 

 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21765]

Warning!

Don’t let me into your bank lobby

 Not responsible if I rob you

[YGIFS 19445]

9 hours ago, PvilleStang said:

Easy, you need to offer to buy them a round of drinks, then walk up to the waitress and tell her numbnuts over there who doesn't know country music has offered to pick up your tab, then grab a few candy bars and a newspaper and walk out the door.

Well uh, Seabass and the Sooner boys offered to pick up our check and Bob over there will take this here box of dildos.  

Edited May 8 by YGIFS

[Biff Tannen 45151]

17 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Well uh, Seabass and the Sooner boys offered to pick up our check and Bob over there will take this here box of dildos.  

[52-80 18987]

websites that require email or sms confirmation before you login....but then they dont send the email/sms instantly.  fuckkk you

[Sam Lin 3535]

They actually do send it instantly, but it takes a little time for hackers to intercept it and pull up the login screen and hack your account before they forward it to you.

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11536]

20 hours ago, nnm said:

 

 

another one of life's simple pleasures ruined by meddling bureaucracy. 

[Storm the Field 5255]

Another entry in the "annoyances that develop as you get older" dept.

Had a great short trip out to Sonoma this past Thu-Sun. Just 3 nights spent living on Pacific Time has totally screwed up my sleep schedule the past 3 nights. I'm talking not even getting remotely sleepy until after midnight, waking up groggy damn near 8:00 in the morning feeling like I could instantly fall back asleep for 2 more hours. 

I don't recall any kind of issues following a time change for longer than maybe 1 night as a younger man. At this age, feels like I need a full week or so to adjust every March and November for DST.

Edited May 8 by Storm the Field

[nnm 35627]

2 hours ago, Storm the Field said:

Another entry in the "annoyances that develop as you get older" dept.

Had a great short trip out to Sonoma this past Thu-Sun. Just 3 nights spent living on Pacific Time has totally screwed up my sleep schedule the past 3 nights. I'm talking not even getting remotely sleepy until after midnight, waking up groggy damn near 8:00 in the morning feeling like I could instantly fall back asleep for 2 more hours. 

I don't recall any kind of issues following a time change for longer than maybe 1 night as a younger man. At this age, feels like I need a full week or so to adjust every March and November for DST.

See, this is not a problem when one NEVER sleeps well, regardless of travel or time zone. 
Insomnia thread is that way—->

[InkaUtexas 24932]

Clients who owe you money and then pretend it is because they have not been paid, but yet are at a worthless conference. Amount is not enough to call a legal eagle, but enough to piss me off.

I feel like going into their office (not near where I live) and walk in like this.

[HiggyBaby 2495]

People/companies that advertise their product or service as “bespoke”. 

[Prepuce of Doom 20905]

1 hour ago, HiggyBaby said:

People/companies that advertise their product or service as “bespoke”. 

Also "limited edition" - yeah, so is everything. 

[Lat22 3951]

Every time a gun is raised or lowered in a movie, it makes a clicking sound. 

[tbone_ 13991]

Every time a gun is raised or lowered in a movie, it makes a clicking sound. 

Same with a knife or sword being brandished. Metal on metal sound, even when it’s coming out of wood or leather, or just picked up off the counter.

[baboso 6037]

Squealing tires on a dirt road or grass.

[Superhero 8631]

10 hours ago, HiggyBaby said:

People/companies that advertise their product or service as “bespoke”. 

 

9 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Also "limited edition" - yeah, so is everything. 

If your company name has the word “Unique”, you are hardly unique. 

[closetohumping 17299]

7 hours ago, Superhero said:

 

If your company name has the word “Unique”, you are hardly unique. 

I’ve worked in several saas companies.  All believe they are the only company able to integrate legacy systems at scale