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Trivial Things That Make You Surly


elfenix

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On 6/26/2024 at 11:09 AM, Sandman said:

My buddy and I were talking about Jim Croce and how great he was and it fucking irks me that my ex-wife is the one who really got me into his music. So every time I start up the playlist, the words "fucking bitch" slip out under my breath. 

Operatuh, can you help me place this call...

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This is why you should always close your toilet lid when you flush. And keep your toothbrush in a drawer or cabinet if you don’t have a separate toilet room.

 

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3 hours ago, nnm said:

This is why you should always close your toilet lid when you flush. And keep your toothbrush in a drawer or cabinet if you don’t have a separate toilet room.

 

This.  I am constantly baffled when I go to people's homes and use their restroom and the toothbrush or hand towel is just sitting mere inches from the toilet bowl I just defiled.  Like the hotel/semen thing, yeah---there's "be tough and grow strong like a man" mentality.  But it's like an extra 5% of work to not ingest shit and semen in strange places if you don't need to.  You don't get healthy guy bacteria from semen and toilet spray.  

Every year, we go to this old friend's place for Christmas party.  And her brother stays with her at the holidays.  And every year, there's his fucking toothbrush, literally on top of the toilet tank.  And I close to the lid before flushing, but still---it takes 3 seconds to walk it over to the other end of the vanity or back into the guest bedroom.  I'm not like Howie Mandel germaphobe level, but I just look at people's situations sometimes like, "Yeah, I can be a little OCD, but you could also just spend 5 seconds not putting the salad you just made for our dinner party right next to the disposal as you run it for 60 seconds splashing like a fucked up attraction at Sea World."  

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TV shows with bad and long intros feel so self-indulgent and gratuitous. Succession is terrible. 
 

The Star Wars stuff is nice—good music with the helmet renders and then its over in a jiffy, onto the meat of the show. 

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3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

The grammatical rule that quotations dont need to be closed if they end a paragraph. If you ask me, it’s a “terrible stylistic practice.

That only applies if the quote immediately continues with the next paragraph, and from the same source. Once the source is no longer talking or being cited, then a close quote is necessary**.

 

** Unless you're Cormac McCarthy, who is too pretentious for any sort of quotation marks.

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On 6/25/2024 at 11:50 AM, Incredulity said:

https://www.jimmyjohns.com/menu/originals-sandwiches/big-john

 

image.png.9b5f3eb611fe0c26df0c3c2284dd8715.png

 

I didn't expect it to really look close to this.  My complaint was more about there literally being only 2 slices of roast beef on the whole sandwich.  It basically ended up being a shredded lettuce and sliced tomato with mayo sandwich.

should have taken a photo.

Not sure if I got screwed by the restaurant execution or shrinkflation.  Won't order again.

Your problem is you are going to Jimmy John’s instead of Jersey Mikes.

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Posted (edited)
On 6/28/2024 at 12:54 PM, nnm said:

This is why you should always close your toilet lid when you flush. And keep your toothbrush in a drawer or cabinet if you don’t have a separate toilet room.

 

"Water closet"

Been closing the lid for years. Annoyed when others leave it up 

Edited by elfenix
Speeling
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Streaming sports on ESPN or FOX. 

 

Why the fuck do I have to wait until the game actually starts before I can turn it on? Also why do I have to click 3 different "play" buttons before it will actually play?

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Friday is not a corporate "holiday" and we have to take a vacation day if we want to a 4-day weekend.

I don't mind though since no one will be at the office, and I'll probably show up for a few hours, and go for a 5 hour lunch.

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7 minutes ago, Superhero said:


i understand it’s July 4th week and people are excited about setting off fireworks.

But anyone setting them off at 1130 deserves to have their fingers blown off. 

160630_gma_schiavocampo3_0821_16x9_992.j

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5 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Ha, in college during finals week someone would light a launch tube of bottle rockets in the middle of the dorm courtyard at 2-3am every night.

In college, my roommate and I would bring bottle rockets back from NM and then shoot them at other apartment balconies after having a few beers. Which was most nights, late at night. I’m shocked we never got arrested. 

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Got to work today and I hear a woman in the hallway say to someone "You working hard or barely working?". First, she got the saying wrong, it should be "hardly working". Second, it's 7:30 in the fucking morning, nobody is working hard yet. Most people don't even walk in until 7:55. 

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3 hours ago, Sandman said:

Got to work today and I hear a woman in the hallway say to someone "You working hard or barely working?". First, she got the saying wrong, it should be "hardly working". Second, it's 7:30 in the fucking morning, nobody is working hard yet. Most people don't even walk in until 7:55. 

Sounds like someone has a case of the Tuesdays. 

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12 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

Ha, in college during finals week someone would light a launch tube of bottle rockets in the middle of the dorm courtyard at 2-3am every night.

I enjoyed dropping stink bombs down the stairwells of my high school during finals week. 

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Here’s a trifecta true story:

 

1 new job making me work from WeWork 8-5

2 people who mingle in common area ie where I need to get coffee.  Take your conversation elsewhere.  This ai t your place to hold court and impress some stranger.  
 

3 in the kitchen there’s a Ms Pac-Man game.  I’m really really good at it but the freaking joystick doesn’t react quick enough!  So some other ass clown has the high score.    For now

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12 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

3 in the kitchen there’s a Ms Pac-Man game.  I’m really really good at it but the freaking joystick doesn’t react quick enough!  So some other ass clown has the high score.    For now

Clearly not that good at it.

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1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

Here’s a trifecta true story:

 

1 new job making me work from WeWork 8-5

2 people who mingle in common area ie where I need to get coffee.  Take your conversation elsewhere.  This ai t your place to hold court and impress some stranger.  
 

3 in the kitchen there’s a Ms Pac-Man game.  I’m really really good at it but the freaking joystick doesn’t react quick enough!  So some other ass clown has the high score.    For now

Take it easy Costanza.  Have a grape soda and we'll figure out a solution.  

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16 hours ago, closetohumping said:

I’m the best!!!  Fucking controller can’t keep up with my fast hands

We imagine it being way too large for what you are use to handling also being a problem.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Sam Lin said:

image.thumb.jpeg.d438ff6e8493ff1e177e5fdfa95b0311.jpeg

After I win the lottery and have grown tired of all the obvious ways to spend money, I will enlarge, print, and laminate this cartoon and affix a print to the front door of all my local grocery stores. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m going to have a custom electric shopping rascal  built.  It’s going to have a souped up motor and a cow catcher on front so that I can just drive around the store plowing over those fucksticks

Add a sidecar for your groceries. Mount a paintball gun for the real annoying assholes talking on their phones using the speaker. Sorry, I do not care that your car smells like someones ratty feet. Get out of my way, I need to get some milk.

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Picking up a rental car at Long Beach airport for the week. Went with budget through Costco cuz it saved over $100 compared to any of my preferred accounts.
The check in process here is taking over 10 minutes…per customer. There are 10 people in front of me. Every other agency is processing people in 2-3 minutes.

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7 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Picking up a rental car at Long Beach airport for the week. Went with budget through Costco cuz it saved over $100 compared to any of my preferred accounts.
The check in process here is taking over 10 minutes…per customer. There are 10 people in front of me. Every other agency is processing people in 2-3 minutes.

I'm with you.  I have bought most of my cars faster than renting a car. 

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10 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Picking up a rental car at Long Beach airport for the week. Went with budget through Costco cuz it saved over $100 compared to any of my preferred accounts.
The check in process here is taking over 10 minutes…per customer. There are 10 people in front of me. Every other agency is processing people in 2-3 minutes.

The employees must tire of instructing to first-time renters. 

“okay, what happens if i dont buy the damage waiver?”

“and how much gas do i put into it?”
 

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Almonds in deluxe mixed nuts. I like almonds and buy the blue diamond wasabi and soy sauce ones regularly , but for some reason I don’t like them mixed with cashews and pecans and whatnot. They taste like wood compared to the rest of the mix.

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If a sporting event is on free/OTA TV, why do I need a cable/dish subscription to watch the stream online? If I was at home watching TV, I could watch it free. But because I want to watch the stream online, I need to be paying hundreds of dollars a month in cable fees?? 

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