Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Cheeseweasel 26443]

1 hour ago, 'stache said:

My favorite for profit college is American National University. I hate their rivals State College Tech.

Northwest Montana State A&M Tech.

[tfoolry 8367]

Neighbor has a cardboard sign in front of their house with name of prep school their kid is attending.  “Home of prep school student” 

But their kid must be a dumbfuck as their car doesn’t have a bumper sticker saying their kid is an honor student at the school. 

 

Edited July 20, 2018 by tfoolry

[Mr. Drummond 2244]

29 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

Not trivial, but fuck HWY 290 in Houston right now.  That place is insane.  I had to venture over there for a meeting yesterday and it was a total shitshow with all the construction.

290 has been the worst of the freeways for a long ass time.  

[El Diablo 4232]

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

ass

Hah! Fixed!  

[Vic Mackey 48134]

Parking garages. Holy fuck. People come speeding through. Taking wide turns and almost hitting you as you come around the corner. I'm always paranoid someone will plow into me as I'm backing up.

[elfenix 34835]

People on the outside not going far enough into the turn so they're in the middle, people on the inside not hugging the post so they're in the middle, and add in all the F350s with their tow hitches in that should be assigned spaces not in the turns and it's a recipe for a cluster fuck.

[After irth 1258]

When you bite into your special order of “smoked wings” and all you taste is lighter fluid.

Not trivial, but...whatcha gonna do...?

[Celery Man 21140]

Microsoft picking "Azure" as the name of their fucking cloud.  So I have to sit in meetings and listen to absolutely nobody knowing or at least agreeing how to pronounce the word "azure".  It's like "measure", but starting with an a.

[Fudge Nuggets 19517]

2 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Microsoft picking "Azure" as the name of their fucking cloud.  So I have to sit in meetings and listen to absolutely nobody knowing or at least agreeing how to pronounce the word "azure".  It's like "measure", but starting with an a.

They should have named it Dave.

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

Parents with babies and/or toddlers who insist on bringing their children to: movies, plays, anything where you have to listen to something... fuck, just public places in general.  

To these parents - Understand, if you do this, please understand that this might mean you will be required to miss part of the performance... that is, if you are being a courteous human being who doesn't want to subject the rest of the general public with your screaming child.  If your child starts crying, politely take the fucker out of the venue.  "But I don't want to miss it!"  Well, neither does the rest of the audience, so find a fucking sitter next time.

[Prepuce of Doom 21337]

7 hours ago, Celery Man said:

Microsoft picking "Azure" as the name of their fucking cloud.  So I have to sit in meetings and listen to absolutely nobody knowing or at least agreeing how to pronounce the word "azure".  It's like "measure", but starting with an a.

The Curse of the Azure Product Name. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21337]

7 hours ago, Celery Man said:

 

Edited July 22, 2018 by Prepuce of Doom
Double post

[DougO 5271]

Biting into a little piece of watermelon only to find somebody else had put salt all over it.

 

[deadshank 24654]

54 minutes ago, DougO said:

Biting into a little piece of watermelon only to find somebody else had put salt all over it.

 

Is my aunt with you?  That hussy. 

[skipperj 377]

Why would you put salt on watermelon? I don’t understand.

[Dewey 3337]

Salt brings out the best in the melon, perhaps some of you should leave our melons alone, ride that mule back north.

[NorthLoop 14622]

watermelons are for the poors

[kopp0e 1135]

3 hours ago, skipperj said:

Why would you put salt on watermelon? I don’t understand.

Gives the flavor an extra "zing"...

[kopp0e 1135]

Going to a dirty public restroom... As in if I could wait until a better time (home) I would, so keep the stalls clean please..! 

*stock photo:

[52-80 19381]

all these websites and internet displays are turning fucking Mobile with big ass oversize fonts and tiny footprint , makes me look like im browsing the web version of Readers Digest Large Print 

[52-80 19381]

4 hours ago, skipperj said:

Why would you put salt on watermelon? I don’t understand.

same reason salt goes on 98% of the food people cook and consume.

[Fudge Nuggets 19517]

5 hours ago, skipperj said:

Why would you put salt on watermelon? I don’t understand.

Because it's awesome.  I don't put salt on much of anything - usually the salt added during the cooking process is enough for me, but watermelon and baked potatoes get salt.

[Guest]

5 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

watermelons are for the poors

Not at $6 a pop they ain't...

 

That brings me to something else that blows my mind in the grocery store:  ears of corn are 5 or 6 for $1.  On the same display they will have 4 shucked ears of corn on a styro tray and cellophane for $3.99.  Who buys that shit at such a huge markup?  It takes less than a minute to shuck an ear of corn.  Your kids might even LIKE doing it... That price on the trays always makes me SMDH.

 

Edited July 23, 2018 by slorch

[deadshank 24654]

NBC describing heavy rains or other bad weather and  insisting on adding extra urgency to panic all of the mommies watching by adding the descriptor "24 million people will be AT RISK in these storms."

So stupid and unnecessary 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

7 hours ago, skipperj said:

Why would you put salt on watermelon? I don’t understand.

Same reason you pair it with feta cheese.  It tastes fucking good.

[You don't know me 1163]

Here's a twofer...

Went with the wife to the fucking Apple Store on Saturday. Wait, this is a threefer.  The Apple Store makes me surly.

We parked in the parking garage.  On the way out, as soon as I step outside of the door, I step in freshly chewed/spit out gum.  Not just normal gum.  Like Bubble Yum or something like that.  So, people that spit their gum out on the ground anywhere, let alone in a doorway.

When pulling out of our parking spot, I had two people jockeying for position to get my spot.  Neither wanted to give an inch and wouldn't back up so that I could leave. 

People are stupid.  So, maybe a fourfer.  Stupid people make me surly.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8990]

Salt brings out the best in the melon, perhaps some of you should leave our melons alone, ride that mule back north.

ah no. we put salt on out melons. head west.

[WhatTheBuck 28965]

1 hour ago, You don't know me said:

Here's a twofer...

Went with the wife to the fucking Apple Store on Saturday. Wait, this is a threefer.  The Apple Store makes me surly.

We parked in the parking garage.  On the way out, as soon as I step outside of the door, I step in freshly chewed/spit out gum.  Not just normal gum.  Like Bubble Yum or something like that.  So, people that spit their gum out on the ground anywhere, let alone in a doorway.

When pulling out of our parking spot, I had two people jockeying for position to get my spot.  Neither wanted to give an inch and wouldn't back up so that I could leave. 

People are stupid.  So, maybe a fourfer.  Stupid people make me surly.

You have two-way traffic in your parking garage?

[You don't know me 1163]

13 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

You have two-way traffic in your parking garage?

Not my parking garage, we were at a mall.  Interior lanes are two way traffic with straight in parking.  Genius design, I know.

[lateshow 1332]

11 hours ago, skipperj said:

Why would you put salt on watermelon? I don’t understand.

Because it's delicious. That's why. 

[PvilleStang 3012]

When people post this shit up:

It's not an EQUATION, it's a fucking riddle.

[Cheeseweasel 26443]

I was told there'd be no riddles.

[Sandman 3438]

When someone puts the leftover pizza in the fridge while it's still in the box. It gets dried out and rock hard almost immediately. Bag that shit up, dammit.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8990]

When someone puts the leftover pizza in the fridge while it's still in the box. It gets dried out and rock hard almost immediately. Bag that shit up, dammit.

Never done this... just had cold pizza from box for lunch. Is there a major difference to what i'm doing wrong here?

[Sandman 3438]

5 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

9 minutes ago, Sandman said:

When someone puts the leftover pizza in the fridge while it's still in the box. It gets dried out and rock hard almost immediately. Bag that shit up, dammit.

Never done this... just had cold pizza from box for lunch. Is there a major difference to what i'm doing wrong here?

It's subjective, of course, but I hate dried out pizza. If I wanted flavored jerky, I'd go to 7-11.

[Vic Mackey 48134]

watermelons are for the poors

This doesn't make any sense...

[Okie State 3908]

This doesn't make any sense...

Rich people have a more refined palate. You wouldn't understand.

[Prepuce of Doom 21337]

Ray Liotta. 

[immortal13 4059]

People who refer to their pets as "furbabies"

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

I can't believe how many of you weirdos ruin perfectly good melon by putting salt on it. I grew up on Llano homegrown Black Diamond melons of perfect sweetness, and only once did I ever try it with salt. That shit is nasty.

[Vic Mackey 48134]

Rich people have a more refined palate. You wouldn't understand.

This is about as generic and vague of an explanation as it gets but thanks for trying.

[Okie State 3908]

This is about as generic and vague of an explanation as it gets but thanks for trying.

Well...it was a joke.

Most of the 'poors' jokes people make on here make no sense. Just part of the deal.

[Buzzrock 15198]

Shitty nail clippers

[Prepuce of Doom 21337]

Maybe you should wipe first? Or get a bidet? 

[El Diablo 4232]

6 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I can't believe how many of you weirdos ruin perfectly good melon by putting salt on it. I grew up on Llano homegrown Black Diamond melons of perfect sweetness, and only once did I ever try it with salt. That shit is nasty.

Are you not familiar with the concept of combining savory with sweet? It's simple food math.

['stache 22205]

I’m a genius!

[shakahorn 1660]

9 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

I can't believe how many of you weirdos ruin perfectly good melon by putting salt on it. I grew up on Llano homegrown Black Diamond melons of perfect sweetness, and only once did I ever try it with salt. That shit is nasty.

Actually, growing up I was taught to put salt on fruit (watermelon, pineapple, others that slip my mind at the moment) supposedly only when said fruit is of lower quality, usually not sweet enough.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11866]

I don't put salt on watermelon.  Use this instead:

[TornACL 7822]

A lot of our newer employees love to swing by the office unannounced at 515pm with 50 questions presented to me in rapid fire format. 

Career limiting move, kids. 

 

[Jack Straw 2955]

Salt goes on watermelon, cantaloupe, and the tarter apples.  Never heard of putting on pineapple before, but that might be good too.