Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[Hugh G. Rection 156]

When we deplane, the fuckers who stand up first get off first, right?

That’s correct. And the closer you get to the baggage carousel the quicker your bag arrives. It’s most helpful when you have at least one foot on it.

[Fudge Nuggets 19454]

10 hours ago, DougO said:

Faulty windows updates that destroy your computer.

Not trivial.

I have been fortunate to be able to recover from every Windows update fuck up, but an iOS update bricked my iPad.  Even the nerds at the Apple store couldn’t get it running again so it sits on a shelf collecting dust.  I’m going to crack that fucker open one of these days just for shits and giggles. 

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

I have a Vizio smart TV. Happy with the quality to cost ratio. When I use the Netflix or YouTube apps and want to exit to watch cable tv, no problem. But if I am watching amazon prime and try to exit I have to hit the exit button what seems like no less than 37 fucking times to get out of that goddamn app. I feel like I am going through the procedure to launch a thermonuclear warhead from a bunker in Nebraska.

[elfenix 34749]

People who don't take a step or two to the side to put their lid and straw on/in their drink, thereby blocking the drink/lid/straw station.

 

 

[Celery Man 21095]

It always seems like if I run into two people doing stupid "I'm confused, everyone else bear with me" shit on the road early on in my commute, it's somehow a bird call for every other confused driver in Austin to pull out somewhere along the road in front of me, slow to 10 mph in the middle lane, and then try and turn left.  Or "I got my front wheels in the turn lane, so I is in the turn lane!".  Or "the guy in the right lane is putting his hazards on to slow down and unload in front of this building, better come to a complete stop next to him.  hey left lane friend, I see you are also frightened and stopping."

[ERhine 1938]

I have a Vizio smart TV. Happy with the quality to cost ratio. When I use the Netflix or YouTube apps and want to exit to watch cable tv, no problem. But if I am watching amazon prime and try to exit I have to hit the exit button what seems like no less than 37 fucking times to get out of that goddamn app. I feel like I am going through the procedure to launch a thermonuclear warhead from a bunker in Nebraska.

I have the opposite problem. Have to push the amazon button on the remote like twenty times to get it launched.

[DougO 5264]

11 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

I have been fortunate to be able to recover from every Windows update fuck up, but an iOS update bricked my iPad.  Even the nerds at the Apple store couldn’t get it running again so it sits on a shelf collecting dust.  I’m going to crack that fucker open one of these days just for shits and giggles. 

I spent two days working on getting my windows to boot, after many hours of reading, attempting different methods and downloading repair/install discs. Finally got it fixed...knock on wood.

But there's just no excuse for hat kind of bullshit. Now every update request scares the living crap out of me.

[DougO 5264]

2 hours ago, elfenix said:

People who don't take a step or two to the side to put their lid and straw on/in their drink, thereby blocking the drink/lid/straw station.

 

 

Every damn day. And the slapnuts who just stand there an look at their phone.

[DougO 5264]

How any dark cloud or trickle of rain in front of the dish knocks out my satellite signal.

[elfenix 34749]

What kind of shitty ass computers do y'all have?

[HornsOverIthaca 2339]

18 hours ago, Hugh G. Rection said:

 

That’s correct. And the closer you get to the baggage carousel the quicker your bag arrives. It’s most helpful when you have at least one foot on it.

 

That’s why it’s a good idea to ride around on it.

[BurntOrangeCrush 1028]

21 hours ago, deadshank said:

Getting stuck behind some mom at  the soft drink / tea self-serve station and ma, at the insistence of her 3 year old, 2 foot tall daughter, lets girl try and fill her own 44 oz soft drink cup full of ice and then Coke.  

Through all the “ooh, what a big girl” cheerleading there’s ice on the floor, Fanta strawberry spilled everywhere and an 8 person back up.  

Just get the dang drink for her, woman. 

Amen brother

[DougO 5264]

1 hour ago, elfenix said:

What kind of shitty ass computers do y'all have?

Is there another kind?

[NeverMarryAStripper 22294]

If I punch my button 20 times I've gone through my launch and exit sequences

[SilasCoade 2622]

Motherfucker parked in between two pumps at a busy gas station. He was getting air for his tires, so blocking two gas pumps and not getting any gas. The air hose was 3 feet from the gas pump and instead of lining up his rear wheels he lined up the middle of his vehicle. When he was done he sat on his phone for several minutes without moving. When I a tapped his window and asked if he could move up a few feet so I could get the hose from the pump behind him to reach my tank he acted like I was the asshole. Line of cars six deep on each aisle of pumps and I'm the asshole for asking you not to take up two at once while you let Facebook know your tire pressure? Fuck that guy.

[WhatTheBuck 28929]

Who puts air pumps next to the gas pumps? Is that station 50 years old?

But yeah, fuck that guy. 

[Vic Mackey 47953]

Yeah I only see air pumps off to the side. Nowhere near the pumps.

[SilasCoade 2622]

That little white rectangle near the middle is the air. I've never seen a setup like this either, but the hose was easily long enough to reach all four tires with the rear tires pulled even to it.

[ernest_t_bass 1196]

maxi pads...

2 with piss

3 clean

1 with niagara falls 

Edited August 13, 2018 by ernest_t_bass

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

3 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

maxi pads...

2 with piss

3 clean

1 with niagara falls 

[PvilleStang 2987]

21 hours ago, elfenix said:

People who don't take a step or two to the side to put their lid and straw on/in their drink, thereby blocking the drink/lid/straw station.

Or, the fast food restaurants (I'm looking at you, Canes on MLK) that don't put the lids and straws right next to the drink station, rather put condiments in between them.  Fill your cup, wait for the person pouring 47 ounces of ketchup on their plate, then you can get to the lids and straws.

[PvilleStang 2987]

9 hours ago, Llogg said:

That little white rectangle near the middle is the air. I've never seen a setup like this either, but the hose was easily long enough to reach all four tires with the rear tires pulled even to it.

You drive a brio train?

['stache 22131]

Seriously, I've never seen a gas station ever with that setup for the air compressor.  Was it designed by an aggy?

[MissingInAction 25556]

Coworkers on Monday morning. I'm hungover you fuckstick so no, I don't give a fat fuck what little Johnny and janey rotten crotch did at their cuntarded soccer matches this weekend. I hope they got injured and your wife was raped by ISIS. Now go die in a fire while I drink coffee and pray for the apocalypse. 

Edited August 13, 2018 by MissingInAction

[conVINCEd 21477]

Coworkers that try and sell you shit from whatever mlm scheme they are participating in this month.

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

32 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

Coworkers that try and sell you shit from whatever mlm scheme they are participating in this month.

Not trivial. Fuck those people.

[Biff Tannen 46163]

On 8/12/2018 at 3:24 PM, HornsOverIthaca said:

That’s why it’s a good idea to ride around on it.

[Bullneck 19517]

I'm happy ORD Buckeye was left behind.  Because ORD Buckeye made me surly.

Edited August 14, 2018 by Bullneck

[Bullneck 19517]

Another thing that makes me surly?  I have to edit every one of my posts.  

['stache 22131]

Went to the store and bought only a gallon of milk. Before I even think about it she’s putting it in a fucking bag. The fucking jug has a handle. It’s all I’m buying. The bag could break whereas the handle will not. Make someone ask for a bag in that situation. And fuck you if you want a bag for that. The planet’s fucked either way but maybe delay it a bit in that situation?

[bluto 4996]

Not so trivial but the shit show on SWA flights that is called the preboard group... flight last week had 40 passengers preboard, not exaggerating. Olds, crippleds, fats, and the real kicker, families with kids that had to have been at least 6 yrs old in multiple cases. This is before A group. 

I get crippleds, olds, and A parent with a toddler/baby where they gotta get setup, but fat ain't crippled and school age kids with both parents and siblings is shit

 

[EastTexan 672]

On July 24, 2018 at 8:43 PM, tfoolry said:

People that clip their nails @ their desk at work.  We found a tray full of clippings in desk of one dude that he had accumulated over years. 

 

Friend's brother saved his toenail clippings and gave them to their little brother for Christmas.

['stache 22131]

Not so trivial but the shit show on SWA flights that is called the preboard group... flight last week had 40 passengers preboard, not exaggerating. Olds, crippleds, fats, and the real kicker, families with kids that had to have been at least 6 yrs old in multiple cases. This is before A group. 
I get crippleds, olds, and A parent with a toddler/baby where they gotta get setup, but fat ain't crippled and school age kids with both parents and siblings is shit
 

Family boarding is after A, and before B. Also I sure as fuck don’t want my six year old sitting alone. I’d say 16 is the cutoff. The only pre A seating I’ve ever seen is military.

[bluto 4996]

This was damn well before A, then after A was active duty servicemen. 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11860]

2 hours ago, EastTexan said:

Friend's brother saved his toenail clippings and gave them to their little brother for Christmas.

I used to stick mine into the end of my roommate's cigarettes.  Smelled like burning hair.

[52-80 19377]

when people wear their wristwatch all loose... especially with a metal bracelet when its just rolling and clacking around when they move their arm

[HenryJames 67336]

9 hours ago, bluto said:

Not so trivial but the shit show on SWA flights that is called the preboard group... flight last week had 40 passengers preboard, not exaggerating. Olds, crippleds, fats, and the real kicker, families with kids that had to have been at least 6 yrs old in multiple cases. This is before A group. 

I get crippleds, olds, and A parent with a toddler/baby where they gotta get setup, but fat ain't crippled and school age kids with both parents and siblings is shit

 

Central Market has parking for people with small children. Saw some lady pull into a spot last week, and her kids were teenagers.

[Moby Ric 2058]

People who put on workout clothes to go for a walk.  Or fat people in workout clothes.

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

37 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

Central Market has parking for people with small children. Saw some lady pull into a spot last week, and her kids were teenagers.

['stache 22131]

2 hours ago, bluto said:

This was damn well before A, then after A was active duty servicemen. 

Are you sure that wasn't Southbest Airlines or some shady knockoff?  I've flown SWA a lot and have never seen family boarding before A, and never before military.  I was with my young kids too so it's not like I haven't been paying attention.

If that really happened, you might call corporate and report it because that's not their policy.

https://www.southwest.com/html/generated/help/faqs/boarding_the_plane_faq.html

Do families get to preboard?

An adult traveling with a child six years old or younger may board during Family Boarding, which occurs after the “A” group has boarded and before the “B” group begins boarding. If the child and the adult are both holding an “A” boarding pass, they should board in their assigned boarding position.

Edited August 14, 2018 by 'stache

[WhatTheBuck 28929]

53 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

People who put on workout clothes to go for a walk.  Or fat people in workout clothes.

I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable. 

[Pogo 286]

1 hour ago, HenryJames said:

Central Market has parking for people with small children. Saw some lady pull into a spot last week, and her kids were teenagers.

I would have no qualms about parking in that spot even if I were alone.  Teach your fucking kid to walk through a parking lot without getting hit.  It's not difficult.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

55 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable. 

 

[PvilleStang 2987]

35 minutes ago, Pogo said:

I would have no qualms about parking in that spot even if I were alone.  Teach your fucking kid to walk through a parking lot without getting hit.  It's not difficult.

Yeah, infants, car seats, pregnant wives... Park your fat ass in the back of the lot and walk it off.  There's a reason it's SUPPOSED to be for expecting mothers and families with infants.

 

ETA: Or, go park in electric vehicle parking.

Edited August 14, 2018 by PvilleStang

[Pogo 286]

32 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

ETA: Or, go park in electric vehicle parking

I do drive a hybrid...so good for me.  👌

If the sign says expectant and infant mothers, I'm fine with that.  If your kid can walk, let it.

[Knoxtnhorn 6306]

Serving as a juror in a civil trial this week.

Out for recess.  This broad has been pacing back and forth in the seating area for 30 gdamn mins now.  High heels, hard floor, not attractive for those wondering. 

I heard her tell someone that she's sorry but feels the need to walk.  Well walk your annoying ass outside and stop bothering those of us seeking a respite.

[Guest Lobo]

there isn't one fucking parking meter within a 3-block radius of the Capitol Complex that takes credit cards.   Not even the old-school upright kind that at least were retrofitted to take cards along with change.  Not any of that shit.  Just one fucking coins-only machine after another.  Sorry I don't roll with a fucking roll of quarters to every damn Legislative meeting.  I can't help but think it's not a big fuck-you from the City of Austin to the those right-wingers up in the Capitol.  

[immortal13 4059]

5 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

People who put on workout clothes to go for a walk.

I like hot women walking around in workout clothes.

[mr. sunshine 2859]

37 minutes ago, Lobo said:

I can't help but think it's not a big fuck-you from the City of Austin to the those right-wingers up in the Capitol.  

I thought old people always carried change.  I know I do

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

23 minutes ago, mr. sunshine said:

I thought old people always carried change.  I know I do

And they call it "two bits"