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Posted

Movie theaters that don't start on time.  I know going in there's going to be 15-20 minutes of trailers, but at least start those on time.  I didn't pay for a 1:00 matinee only for you to wait until 1:10 to start your endless marathon of trailers.  

Posted

End of the aforementioned teacher's training.

Moderator states that we're finished; are there any further questions.  As most of us are starting to stand, one stupid lady raises her hand and starts in on a 10 min personal story about one of her students.  I swear to God, she finishes by asking the following question...  "How can a teacher tell the difference between a gifted and talented student and one that has been sexually abused?"  

I thought the moderator (plus some at their tables) were going to jump this stupid lady for wasting our time and asking such a dumb question.

Posted
3 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

Also the Colgate commercial where multi-millionaire Michael Phelps is using a lousy hand toothbrush instead of a battery one.

Are battery toothbrushes a thing with adults? I know they used to make them with Disney characters on them in hopes that they'd get kids to brush more.

Posted
2 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Are battery toothbrushes a thing with adults? I know they used to make them with Disney characters on them in hopes that they'd get kids to brush more.

 

I prefer them.  I only use a non-electric toothbrush when I'm travelling.  Electric toothbrushes just make your mouth feel cleaner.  Like you just left the dentist.  

Posted
1 minute ago, Tom said:

 

I prefer them.  I only use a non-electric toothbrush when I'm travelling.  Electric toothbrushes just make your mouth feel cleaner.  Like you just left the dentist.  

I guess it depends on the dentist. My dentist likes to use the "gas" but my jaws always hurt after those visits.

Posted

When the phone doesn't ring the whole damn day...until the middle of the one half hour of TV entertainment you had scheduled, and it's a distant family member you don't even really know but can't hang up on.

Posted
9 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

People turning right with a blinker on but wait until the light turns green to turn, even though it was clear.

Where I lived growing up in Texas it wasn't legal to turn right on red until around 1970 or so. Blew my mind when it became legal and it made perfect sense. Don't know why it wasn't all along.

  • Like 1
Posted
10 hours ago, slorch said:

People who make up their own afflictions.  Seems to be rampant these days.

 

You don't have a malady or a problem.  You're just a pussy.

Well, dumb-ass, misophonia is usually self-diagnosed.

It appears you have no issue with mouth breathers, untensil teeth scrapers, open mouth chewers, beverage slurpers, and so on.

You may not be a pussy, but just a knuckle dragger. 

Posted
15 hours ago, Tom said:

 

I prefer them.  I only use a non-electric toothbrush when I'm travelling.  Electric toothbrushes just make your mouth feel cleaner.  Like you just left the dentist.  

Tom's mom uses one too. Sometimes she even brushes her teeth with it.

Posted

Drove by our softball fields this AM and the season starts up next month (field is still full of snow fwiw)...but it got me thinking about last yrs end of year tournament. We 10 runned a team in our division and moved up to get our ass kicked by basically team North Dakota...the first 6 hitters all had different jerseys on than the "team" we were supposed to play. 1 or 2 ringers fine....when your 1-6 hitters all play left, left center, 3rd base, ss, right center and hit 12 home runs combined a game...fuck you. And we know you play 5 nights a week, shitheads

 

Posted
On 3/31/2018 at 7:33 AM, Casual Encounter said:

People hitting the brakes every time they see a cop, even when going below the speed limit.

Or when the cop already has someone pulled over and is literally out of his vehicle.

Posted

People that fuck around with lotto tickets for ten minutes at the convenience store when a line is behind them.

People who slow down or stop before getting into the suicide lane to make a left turn.  Or who don't get all the way in, impeding traffic behind them.  Happens to me every day on West Alabama and half the time the fuckers won't even get in the suicide lane before turning left.

Motherless fucks who take up two spaces in crowded parking lots.

  • Like 1
Posted

Fat woman jacking with her crap inside of her Honda in front of the diesel pumps at Bunker Hill HEB. 

I honk and she looks in rear view mirror and starts fooling around with her hair. 

I honk again and she stays in car for another minute or so. Finally oozes out of car and pumps $5 worth of gas.  Gets back in car to check messages and her hair. 

I blast her again and she pulls away real slow and stops short as I pull up. 

She drives around behind me, gets out as I’m pumping diesel and asks if I was honking at her.

I say yes and she should get her fat ass and her March Madness teeth into gear and quit fucking around. 

She acts all appalled and bows up.  I threw a healthy get the fuck out of here lard ass in to help the situation along.

 

 

  • Like 1
Posted
Fat woman jacking with her crap inside of her Honda in front of the diesel pumps at Bunker Hill HEB. 
I honk and she looks in rear view mirror and starts fooling around with her hair. 
I honk again and she stays in car for another minute or so. Finally oozes out of car and pumps $5 worth of gas.  Gets back in car to check messages and her hair. 
I blast her again and she pulls away real slow and stops short as I pull up. 
She drives around behind me, gets out as I’m pumping diesel and asks if I was honking at her.
I say yes and she should get her fat ass and her March Madness teeth into gear and quit fucking around. 
She acts all appalled and bows up.  I threw a healthy get the fuck out of here lard ass in to help the situation along.
 
 
Did she kick your ass?
  • Like 1
Posted
3 minutes ago, chikin23 said:
23 minutes ago, deadshank said:
Fat woman jacking with her crap inside of her Honda in front of the diesel pumps at Bunker Hill HEB. 
I honk and she looks in rear view mirror and starts fooling around with her hair. 
I honk again and she stays in car for another minute or so. Finally oozes out of car and pumps $5 worth of gas.  Gets back in car to check messages and her hair. 
I blast her again and she pulls away real slow and stops short as I pull up. 
She drives around behind me, gets out as I’m pumping diesel and asks if I was honking at her.
I say yes and she should get her fat ass and her March Madness teeth into gear and quit fucking around. 
She acts all appalled and bows up.  I threw a healthy get the fuck out of here lard ass in to help the situation along.
 
 

Read more  

Did she kick your ass?

Haha. 

Posted
4 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Or when the cop already has someone pulled over and is literally out of his vehicle.

Can't tell you how many times idiots on I-35 between Austin and Ft Worth have almost caused a pile up by doing this exact thing on a heavy traffic day.

You don't have to slam on your brakes and slow down to 40 miles an hour just because a cop pulled over some dumbfuck.

Posted
6 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Drove by our softball fields this AM and the season starts up next month (field is still full of snow fwiw)...but it got me thinking about last yrs end of year tournament. We 10 runned a team in our division and moved up to get our ass kicked by basically team North Dakota...the first 6 hitters all had different jerseys on than the "team" we were supposed to play. 1 or 2 ringers fine....when your 1-6 hitters all play left, left center, 3rd base, ss, right center and hit 12 home runs combined a game...fuck you. And we know you play 5 nights a week, shitheads

 

Fuck team North Dakota, I hope they lost the tournament. 

Posted
Can't tell you how many times idiots on I-35 between Austin and Ft Worth have almost caused a pile up by doing this exact thing on a heavy traffic day.
You don't have to slam on your brakes and slow down to 40 miles an hour just because a cop pulled over some dumbfuck.
There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on
Posted
1 hour ago, Doc Sam Beckett said:

Fuck team North Dakota, I hope they lost the tournament. 

They ten runned us(won 25-1, hit at least 14 homers) and then ten runned the other team for the championship. pretty much just said monday night beer league was their "fuck around" league. i hate playing asshole softball players with no lives outside of softball. Especially with their straight brim hats, neon pink arm sleeve and bat bag with 6 bats in it

  • Like 1
Posted
38 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Those guys are all losers who couldn't cut it in baseball after high school so they come act "cool" on the softball field. Getting into fights and taking it serious.

they're the worst. Swearing at volunteer umps and shit. all in front of their 22 year old looking gf's theyre trying to impress.

Posted
The people who swing by your office at 530 to chit chat. Bro, ain't my fault you hate your wife and don't want to go home. I'm leaving.
Seems like I always get 'urgent' calls as I'm logging out for the day.
Posted
There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on
This is true. I was pulled over once for not changing lanes for a HiPo that had someone pulled over. His buddy lit me up as I drove by. Had no idea that was a law at the time.
Posted
6 minutes ago, Okie State said:
2 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on

This is true. I was pulled over once for not changing lanes for a HiPo that had someone pulled over. His buddy lit me up as I drove by. Had no idea that was a law at the time.

Yeah I think this became a law over a decade ago. 

Posted

 

9 minutes ago, Okie State said:
2 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on

This is true. I was pulled over once for not changing lanes for a HiPo that had someone pulled over. His buddy lit me up as I drove by. Had no idea that was a law at the time.

maybe a law because of times like this? using a gif posted by the aptly named crash davis, trying to make it a little safer for them.

u7tw4iyckco01.gif

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