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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

elfenix

By elfenix
in Lulz

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NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

If cassettes are coming back, then people will have to start carrying pencils again

nnm
nnm
Armybrat
Armybrat

“No Trucks In Left Lane” - Waxahachie 2023:  

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Tom

Tom 2959

Posted
Posted

Movie theaters that don't start on time.  I know going in there's going to be 15-20 minutes of trailers, but at least start those on time.  I didn't pay for a 1:00 matinee only for you to wait until 1:10 to start your endless marathon of trailers.  

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Knoxtnhorn

Knoxtnhorn 5971

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Posted

End of the aforementioned teacher's training.

Moderator states that we're finished; are there any further questions.  As most of us are starting to stand, one stupid lady raises her hand and starts in on a 10 min personal story about one of her students.  I swear to God, she finishes by asking the following question...  "How can a teacher tell the difference between a gifted and talented student and one that has been sexually abused?"  

I thought the moderator (plus some at their tables) were going to jump this stupid lady for wasting our time and asking such a dumb question.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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Posted
3 hours ago, clapclapclap said:

Also the Colgate commercial where multi-millionaire Michael Phelps is using a lousy hand toothbrush instead of a battery one.

Are battery toothbrushes a thing with adults? I know they used to make them with Disney characters on them in hopes that they'd get kids to brush more.

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Tom

Tom 2959

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Are battery toothbrushes a thing with adults? I know they used to make them with Disney characters on them in hopes that they'd get kids to brush more.

 

I prefer them.  I only use a non-electric toothbrush when I'm travelling.  Electric toothbrushes just make your mouth feel cleaner.  Like you just left the dentist.  

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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Posted
1 minute ago, Tom said:

 

I prefer them.  I only use a non-electric toothbrush when I'm travelling.  Electric toothbrushes just make your mouth feel cleaner.  Like you just left the dentist.  

I guess it depends on the dentist. My dentist likes to use the "gas" but my jaws always hurt after those visits.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

People turning right with a blinker on but wait until the light turns green to turn, even though it was clear.

Where I lived growing up in Texas it wasn't legal to turn right on red until around 1970 or so. Blew my mind when it became legal and it made perfect sense. Don't know why it wasn't all along.

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former alkie

former alkie 72

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, slorch said:

People who make up their own afflictions.  Seems to be rampant these days.

 

You don't have a malady or a problem.  You're just a pussy.

Well, dumb-ass, misophonia is usually self-diagnosed.

It appears you have no issue with mouth breathers, untensil teeth scrapers, open mouth chewers, beverage slurpers, and so on.

You may not be a pussy, but just a knuckle dragger. 

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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Posted

Drove by our softball fields this AM and the season starts up next month (field is still full of snow fwiw)...but it got me thinking about last yrs end of year tournament. We 10 runned a team in our division and moved up to get our ass kicked by basically team North Dakota...the first 6 hitters all had different jerseys on than the "team" we were supposed to play. 1 or 2 ringers fine....when your 1-6 hitters all play left, left center, 3rd base, ss, right center and hit 12 home runs combined a game...fuck you. And we know you play 5 nights a week, shitheads

 

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

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Posted

People that fuck around with lotto tickets for ten minutes at the convenience store when a line is behind them.

People who slow down or stop before getting into the suicide lane to make a left turn.  Or who don't get all the way in, impeding traffic behind them.  Happens to me every day on West Alabama and half the time the fuckers won't even get in the suicide lane before turning left.

Motherless fucks who take up two spaces in crowded parking lots.

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deadshank

deadshank 24652

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Fat woman jacking with her crap inside of her Honda in front of the diesel pumps at Bunker Hill HEB. 

I honk and she looks in rear view mirror and starts fooling around with her hair. 

I honk again and she stays in car for another minute or so. Finally oozes out of car and pumps $5 worth of gas.  Gets back in car to check messages and her hair. 

I blast her again and she pulls away real slow and stops short as I pull up. 

She drives around behind me, gets out as I’m pumping diesel and asks if I was honking at her.

I say yes and she should get her fat ass and her March Madness teeth into gear and quit fucking around. 

She acts all appalled and bows up.  I threw a healthy get the fuck out of here lard ass in to help the situation along.

 

 

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chikin23

chikin23 384

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Posted
Fat woman jacking with her crap inside of her Honda in front of the diesel pumps at Bunker Hill HEB. 
I honk and she looks in rear view mirror and starts fooling around with her hair. 
I honk again and she stays in car for another minute or so. Finally oozes out of car and pumps $5 worth of gas.  Gets back in car to check messages and her hair. 
I blast her again and she pulls away real slow and stops short as I pull up. 
She drives around behind me, gets out as I’m pumping diesel and asks if I was honking at her.
I say yes and she should get her fat ass and her March Madness teeth into gear and quit fucking around. 
She acts all appalled and bows up.  I threw a healthy get the fuck out of here lard ass in to help the situation along.
 
 
Did she kick your ass?
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deadshank

deadshank 24652

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, chikin23 said:
23 minutes ago, deadshank said:
Fat woman jacking with her crap inside of her Honda in front of the diesel pumps at Bunker Hill HEB. 
I honk and she looks in rear view mirror and starts fooling around with her hair. 
I honk again and she stays in car for another minute or so. Finally oozes out of car and pumps $5 worth of gas.  Gets back in car to check messages and her hair. 
I blast her again and she pulls away real slow and stops short as I pull up. 
She drives around behind me, gets out as I’m pumping diesel and asks if I was honking at her.
I say yes and she should get her fat ass and her March Madness teeth into gear and quit fucking around. 
She acts all appalled and bows up.  I threw a healthy get the fuck out of here lard ass in to help the situation along.
 
 

Read more  

Did she kick your ass?

Haha. 

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TornACL

TornACL 7698

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, HenryJames said:

Or when the cop already has someone pulled over and is literally out of his vehicle.

Can't tell you how many times idiots on I-35 between Austin and Ft Worth have almost caused a pile up by doing this exact thing on a heavy traffic day.

You don't have to slam on your brakes and slow down to 40 miles an hour just because a cop pulled over some dumbfuck.

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Doc Sam Beckett

Doc Sam Beckett 5792

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Drove by our softball fields this AM and the season starts up next month (field is still full of snow fwiw)...but it got me thinking about last yrs end of year tournament. We 10 runned a team in our division and moved up to get our ass kicked by basically team North Dakota...the first 6 hitters all had different jerseys on than the "team" we were supposed to play. 1 or 2 ringers fine....when your 1-6 hitters all play left, left center, 3rd base, ss, right center and hit 12 home runs combined a game...fuck you. And we know you play 5 nights a week, shitheads

 

Fuck team North Dakota, I hope they lost the tournament. 

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Vic Mackey

Vic Mackey 47006

Posted
Posted
Can't tell you how many times idiots on I-35 between Austin and Ft Worth have almost caused a pile up by doing this exact thing on a heavy traffic day.
You don't have to slam on your brakes and slow down to 40 miles an hour just because a cop pulled over some dumbfuck.
There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on
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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Doc Sam Beckett said:

Fuck team North Dakota, I hope they lost the tournament. 

They ten runned us(won 25-1, hit at least 14 homers) and then ten runned the other team for the championship. pretty much just said monday night beer league was their "fuck around" league. i hate playing asshole softball players with no lives outside of softball. Especially with their straight brim hats, neon pink arm sleeve and bat bag with 6 bats in it

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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Posted
38 minutes ago, Vic Mackey said:

Those guys are all losers who couldn't cut it in baseball after high school so they come act "cool" on the softball field. Getting into fights and taking it serious.

they're the worst. Swearing at volunteer umps and shit. all in front of their 22 year old looking gf's theyre trying to impress.

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Okie State

Okie State 3804

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Posted
There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on
This is true. I was pulled over once for not changing lanes for a HiPo that had someone pulled over. His buddy lit me up as I drove by. Had no idea that was a law at the time.
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Vic Mackey

Vic Mackey 47006

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6 minutes ago, Okie State said:
2 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on

This is true. I was pulled over once for not changing lanes for a HiPo that had someone pulled over. His buddy lit me up as I drove by. Had no idea that was a law at the time.

Yeah I think this became a law over a decade ago. 

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Lone Star Horn

Lone Star Horn 2016

Posted
Posted

 

9 minutes ago, Okie State said:
2 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:
There's a law where you have to either pull over to another lane or slow down 20 to 30mph under the speed limit if an emergency vehicle has their lights on

This is true. I was pulled over once for not changing lanes for a HiPo that had someone pulled over. His buddy lit me up as I drove by. Had no idea that was a law at the time.

maybe a law because of times like this? using a gif posted by the aptly named crash davis, trying to make it a little safer for them.

u7tw4iyckco01.gif

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