Trivial Things That Make You Surly

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2,721]

My father in law does it every time we eat together. Every. Single. Time. 

Does he blow it like a trumpet?

[GottaB 589]

Express lane. Used coupons. Paid by check. Bought stamps.

Found out from the cashier the lane converted from regular lane to express after she was in line. Not her fault.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

Fuck fat ass bicyclists in spandex nut huggers that blow through red lights causing me to slam on my brakes in order to avoid making them a lard butt sized grease spot and then flip me off as they ride away. Next time I’m putting you on my grill.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,799]

You really could've ended that after the first 8 words  but yea, you need to share the road.

Edited September 1, 2018 by MNLonghornFUKM

[Lone Star Horn 2,009]

Nope, fuck you. if they blow thru a red light, they are the ones not sharing the road. 

[immortal13 4,059]

5 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Fuck fat ass bicyclists in spandex nut huggers that blow through red lights causing me to slam on my brakes in order to avoid making them a lard butt sized grease spot and then flip me off as they ride away. Next time I’m putting you on my grill.

Fuck those clowns

[luke duke 6,375]

I may have posted this before, but the ass clowns who bring their lunch to work in a soft sided cooler and then put it in the community refrigerator. Thanks asshole, now you and your 3 shithead friends have taken up the whole fridge  

[Knoxtnhorn 5,928]

I was already not in the mood and then...

SIL comes home from work during the last 10 mins of the Penn St game and proceeds to yap for 45 godamn straight minutes.  She's staying with us for a few weeks until she can get into the house she closed on last week.  I've told my wife that she needs to talk to her about this.  Every, single fucking time I get a couple of minutes alone with my wife to watch one of our shows or somesuch, here comes gdamn SIL to yap about a bunch of stupid shit.  Every.  Fucking.  Time.  

[NorthLoop 14,071]

3 hours ago, luke duke said:

I may have posted this before, but the ass clowns who bring their lunch to work in a soft sided cooler and then put it in the community refrigerator. Thanks asshole, now you and your 3 shithead friends have taken up the whole fridge  

We get these bitches who will put a big bag or soft cooler filled with 5 pre-made meals and leave it in there all week. I know I'm not the only one who hates that shit as I've seen their shit get scattered across the fridge (we have a huge fridge) multiple times. 

[Sam Lin 3,540]

[ernest_t_bass 1,196]

People who talk right on you/at you.  99% of people have shit breath.  And I can't fucking stand it.

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,793]

13 hours ago, luke duke said:

I may have posted this before, but the ass clowns who bring their lunch to work in a soft sided cooler and then put it in the community refrigerator. Thanks asshole, now you and your 3 shithead friends have taken up the whole fridge  

It’s mind numbingly stupid.

[Prepuce of Doom 20,969]

Start stapling the soft sided coolers shut. 

[Vic Mackey 46,914]

On 9/1/2018 at 10:10 AM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Fuck fat ass bicyclists in spandex nut huggers that blow through red lights causing me to slam on my brakes in order to avoid making them a lard butt sized grease spot and then flip me off as they ride away. Next time I’m putting you on my grill.

I have no fucking clue why cyclists think they don't have to follow the rules of the road. They run red lights and blow through stop signs. They blow through every damn stop sign here at White Rock Lake in Dallas. If I ever rode a bike, I am definitely stopping at a stop sign. Don't want to end up on the hood of someone's car.

[Johnny Sack 8,397]

On 8/12/2018 at 9:04 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Who puts air pumps next to the gas pumps? Is that station 50 years old?

But yeah, fuck that guy. 

I have a client who owns a company that owns those air machines.  The new trend is to have one next to each pump.  Go check out the Chevron on Weslayan and Bissonnett  — there is one next to each f the 20 pumps.  

[Johnny Sack 8,397]

On 8/20/2018 at 5:53 PM, mdmost said:

You don't have kids. They destroy shit.

No food or drinks but water in my truck.  It is 5 years old and remarkably clean because of that rule.  I’ll pull over if they want a snack.  

[Johnny Sack 8,397]

On 8/24/2018 at 10:40 AM, elfenix said:

"amended original petition"

Or Reply to Summary Judgment.  

[Js1 85,050]

What’s the point of the do not disturb sign if housekeeping tries to barge into your hotel room regardless?

[elfenix 34,164]

vim.  it's 2018.  why is this shit still around?

[Superhero 8,730]

Parents whose noses are so buried in their smartphones while their kids are being shitheads in the playground. If your kid decides it’s okay to bully my kids, I will yell at him because it’s obvious you haven’t taken time to discipline his ass.

 

I took my kids to the local park today to play in the sand. This 7-8 year old kid comes over, grabs one of their toys like it belongs to him and starts digging. Dad is sitting right behind us and doesn’t say anything. My 3 YO son asks for it, and the little snot ignores him. He then starts pushing my kids away because he wants in; and finally takes a small bucket of water and dumps it over their sand project.

My kids had already told the shithead to stop, and at this point, my kids are pissed and yelling at the kid to stop. I’m on my way back from getting water, see this, and YELL at the kid, making a scene at the park in front of other parents. I don’t care.  The kid is defiant, telling me his dad is sitting right there. I explain to him loudly and clearly that he did not ask permission to take my kids’ toys, was being a bully, and needed to go away.

Kid went back to his dad and started crying, saying he didn’t have any friends... well no shit, why would anyone want to play with him. Dad didn’t say anything and took off.

I’m not proud of making a kid cry. But come at my kids, and I’ll get fucking surly in a big fucking hurry.

 

[DanRydell 799]

there isn't one fucking parking meter within a 3-block radius of the Capitol Complex that takes credit cards.   Not even the old-school upright kind that at least were retrofitted to take cards along with change.  Not any of that shit.  Just one fucking coins-only machine after another.  Sorry I don't roll with a fucking roll of quarters to every damn Legislative meeting.  I can't help but think it's not a big fuck-you from the City of Austin to the those right-wingers up in the Capitol.  

Not gonna bother to scroll through to see if this has already been said but those are state parking meters, not city parking meters. The state controls parking from Lavaca to Trinity and 10th to MLK.

[HenryJames 65,865]

On 8/31/2018 at 9:38 PM, Hugh G. Rection said:

 

The only thing they missed was buying cigs that the store has to break out from behind a locked gate that takes 30 minutes.

 

Rage. Never fails to happen to me at HEB. 

[mdmost 42,747]

I know we've had this one before but the guy who gets up the moment the plane hits the gate and quickly rushed up from the back to get off the plane. So instead of me being able to get up and stretch while waiting for the plane to unload row by row like a bunch of normal humans, I have this guy next to me in the aisle. mdleast was flying too right next to me and just got up and inched ahead of this guy and pushed him back a bit. Look, I get it if you have a connection you're trying to make, but it was 11pm at night. So what was the guy trying to cheat his way forward to do? Get to the baggage claim where he had a good 5-10 minute wait for his bag. 

[NorthLoop 14,071]

Those fb videos where some cute little girl goes on a scripted rant with a bunch of sassy one-liners about adult things. It's not cute. It makes me want to murder your whole family. 

[Guest]

3 hours ago, mdmost said:

I know we've had this one before but the guy who gets up the moment the plane hits the gate and quickly rushed up from the back to get off the plane. So instead of me being able to get up and stretch while waiting for the plane to unload row by row like a bunch of normal humans, I have this guy next to me in the aisle. mdleast was flying too right next to me and just got up and inched ahead of this guy and pushed him back a bit. Look, I get it if you have a connection you're trying to make, but it was 11pm at night. So what was the guy trying to cheat his way forward to do? Get to the baggage claim where he had a good 5-10 minute wait for his bag. 

lol baggage claim? You are just as amateur hour as that guy. Learn how to fly.

Edited September 3, 2018 by Guest

[mdmost 42,747]

Again, you show your ass. HE was going to baggage claim to get his bag. WE did carry ons and passed by him to go out to leave in an Uber.  That was the whole point of my post. HE was trying to quickly get off to then wait around for a bit to get a bag. But nice try on your gotcha post. Was coming home from DC and Philly. You would've hated it. There's lots of minorities up there.

Edited September 3, 2018 by mdmost

[Guest]

1 minute ago, mdmost said:

Again, you show your ass. HE was going to baggage claim to get his bag. WE did carry ons and passed by him to go out to leave in an Uber. 

Not buying it.

[mdmost 42,747]

That you have brains? I'm not buying it either.

[Guest]

6 hours ago, mdmost said:

That you have brains? I'm not buying it either.

Horrible. Sad. Lowest of energies.

[mdmost 42,747]

Oh you. Just take your L and walk away.

[ernest_t_bass 1,196]

13 year old daughter came out to plug her phone  in before bed (my charger).  

She asked, "Please plug mine in when you're done?"  

I said "No.  This is my charger.  Find your own, like I've told you to for over a week."

"OMG, you're so rude!"

-----------------

My wife is the same way.  There is no accountability for their own side of shit.  If you don't cater to what they need, and do it all the time, YOU'RE the asshole.

[mdmost 42,747]

I already foresee The Charger Cord Wars that are upcoming in our household. Already getting some with old iPhones we have for them to play games on. They’ve already frayed two charger cables and then try to come for mine. Not happening. You can spend your allowance on new cords if you’re not going to take care of the ones provided to you. 

[chikin23 384]

I already foresee The Charger Cord Wars that are upcoming in our household. Already getting some with old iPhones we have for them to play games on. They’ve already frayed two charger cables and then try to come for mine. Not happening. You can spend your allowance on new cords if you’re not going to take care of the ones provided to you. 

One of the reasons I have an Android phone and tablet is so nobody in the house with Apple products can steal my chargers.

[Tom 2,959]

I don't even understand how people lose or break chargers or have charging issues.  Do other people not keep their charger by the nightstand or dresser near bed and charge while they sleep?  How are people always losing chargers or running around during the day with dying phones?

Edited September 4, 2018 by Tom

[Celery Man 20,870]

reddit just made their icon identical to tapa

[HenryJames 65,865]

People who don't know what identical means.

[Okie State 3,767]

I don't even understand how people lose or break chargers or have charging issues.  Do other people not keep their charger by the nightstand or dresser near bed and charge while they sleep?  How are people always losing chargers or running around during the day with dying phones?

Not sure on the losing, but Apple makes piece of shit chargers that are designed to break. I've never had a single issue with any of my other phone chargers, but always see where the Apple ones are frayed.

[mdmost 42,747]

Our broken chargers happen because the kids move them from room to room and play their games with the cords plugged in. So they twist the cords around multiple times every day to the point they eventual break. Mine don't break because it stays in one place. As they get older and have phones of their own, we're probably adopting the after a certain hour, the phone goes to stay on the charger in a place that isn't their bedrooms. 

[Buffsoldier 1,895]

4 hours ago, HenryJames said:

People who don't know what identical means.

Same here.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,780]

6 hours ago, HenryJames said:

People who don't know what identical means.

The identical things bugs me too, only it's people that don't know what literally means.

[Lat22 3,989]

I’ve been preaching to my family to NEVER unplug a charger, be it in the wall or in a vehicle. That way, it was always be exactly where you think it will be when you need it.  Doesn’t matter. Theirs are always getting lost and they want to use mine. Trivial?  You bet, but it makes me ragey. 

[GottaB 589]

I buy a three pack of lightning cables for $5 from Vipon every few months just to sprinkle around. Work. Cars. Chairs around the house.

It’s cheap issue avoidance insurance.

[Lat22 3,989]

I do the same thing. They all wind up lost. 

[You don't know me 1,161]

16 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

13 year old daughter came out to plug her phone  in before bed (my charger).  

She asked, "Please plug mine in when you're done?"  

I said "No.  This is my charger.  Find your own, like I've told you to for over a week."

"OMG, you're so rude!"

-----------------

My wife is the same way.  There is no accountability for their own side of shit.  If you don't cater to what they need, and do it all the time, YOU'RE the asshole.

I have a spot for everything.  Not because I'm a neat freak, but because if I put stuff 'wherever', I'll forget where I left it.  Everyone in my house is the exact opposite.  Chargers and cables are no exception.  I think that I am the only person in the house that hasn't lost one.  The heathens have tried to lose mine, but I always find them in someone's room.  After many 'everyone stop what you are doing and find my charger/cable/ or the remote control' parties, they have finally stopped using my shit.  It did take years, and I'm sure it's not completely over, but being an asshole about it does seem to work after a while.

[Litig8r 413]

when you get an email that says, you have successfully unsubscribed from the email list....

[Judge Roybeanbag 11,793]

47 minutes ago, Lat22 said:

I do the same thing. They all wind up lost. 

They're like the new version of the  unmatched sock in the dryer.  Just up and disappear.  

[You don't know me 1,161]

Plastic spoons that cut my top lip.

[Cheeseweasel 26,437]

6 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Just up and disappear.  

Like a fart in the wind...

[elfenix 34,164]

i close my eyes
only for a moment and the moment's gone
all my dreams
pass before my eyes, a curiosity
fart in the wind
all they are is fart in the wind

Edited September 4, 2018 by elfenix

[dogfarts 45]

People who start their newer model car and let it “warm up” in the driveway for no less than 10 minutes every time before driving away. This happens when it’s 70 degrees out so it’s not to cool off/warm up the interior.