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Trivial Things That Make You Surly

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On 1/13/2019 at 5:58 PM, NWBuck said:

Quoting to get this on the next page 

We now know she likes meat..?

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

Posted Images

This individual nearly got his facial expression, "very surly"...

 

When people do this I just push by them while loudly saying "excuse me"
If they think I'm being rude they can get out of the way next time. 

One of our family highlights was several years ago, in front of the British Museum. A gaggle of 10 French teenage girls and their chaperone were blocking the entire entrance to the museum while they yammered. I did the throat clear. Nothing. I then walk right up to them, yelled “MOVEZ VOUS!” in my best ugly American. It worked. They scattered. I had fun. Man that pisses me off.
1 hour ago, Brisketexan said:


One of our family highlights was several years ago, in front of the British Museum. A gaggle of 10 French teenage girls and their chaperone were blocking the entire entrance to the museum while they yammered. I did the throat clear. Nothing. I then walk right up to them, yelled “MOVEZ VOUS!” in my best ugly American. It worked. They scattered. I had fun. Man that pisses me off.

Hopefully in a very heavily affected southern twang.

  • Author

When Google maps informs you that the place you're going will close within an hour after you arrive. No shit, that's why I'm going now instead of an hour from now

On 1/13/2019 at 3:13 PM, Whitman said:

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Pretty sure I got a Friend Request from her on FB. 

20 hours ago, luke duke said:

A friend of mine bought a $5000 truck and dumped $20k into performance mods. He totaled it about a week after it was done so he immediately went out and got a Tahoe to move the entire drivetrain into. He’s 50 with a solid 3 figure retirement account.

He's reached the point where he knows he'll work until the day he dies. Fuck it, might as well go out with a bang.

Having to interact with snotty sneezy mouth breathers to sell them cold medicine.  (Thank god I left retail)

Almost as bad as dealing with fidgety liars that need Sudafed and some needles.

I dont watch UFC, but I will watch highlights.  That f'ing guy that screams out "Its over!!! Its all over!!!!" when somebody gets KO'd makes me rage. 

Buying a can of Jalapenos and it's half filled with slices of carrots.  WTF?  

20 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

Start answering and speaking in a different language.  Something other than Spanish. 

Neah you answer with...

”It’s done.  But there’s a lot of blood.”

20 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

Start answering and speaking in a different language.  Something other than Spanish. 

"Imburraci tutti, non congliadore, mon petit nilpferd der liebe."

37 minutes ago, Horn_Spanker said:

Buying a can of Jalapenos and it's half filled with slices of carrots.  WTF?  

That sounds awesome

He's reached the point where he knows he'll work until the day he dies. Fuck it, might as well go out with a bang.


I left out he part about the wife and 10yr old kid.

when people say Jesus tittyfucking Christ

I read through the New Testament a couple times, there's nothing in there about Jesus fucking any titties. Don't try to be Biblical if you don't know the motherfucking Bible. 

17 hours ago, elfenix said:

When Google maps informs you that the place you're going will close within an hour after you arrive. No shit, that's why I'm going now instead of an hour from now

maybe Google maps assumes you're taking your wife with you

4 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

when people say Jesus tittyfucking Christ

I read through the New Testament a couple times, there's nothing in there about Jesus fucking any titties. Don't try to be Biblical if you don't know the motherfucking Bible. 

Clearly you are not a Nikos Kazantzakis fan.

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On 1/16/2019 at 11:31 AM, SHOOTER12 said:

Count me in. I've got 10 at home.

Had a 30-foot Crepe Myrtle in my front yard in Corpus Christi. Beautiful thing. Never seen anything like it. Loved it, even though it rained pink hell all over my truck twice a year. 

Drove by that house a month after I sold it. Gone. Stupid bastards. 

Edited by After irth

Watching Pro Bowlers use two hands...  the fuck?  That’s like some Rick Barry shooting FTs granny-style shit. 

40 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Watching Pro Bowlers use two hands...  the fuck?  That’s like some Rick Barry shooting FTs granny-style shit. 

Why are you watching bowling is the real question 

  • Author
Why are you watching bowling is the real question 
Lost the remote and it's stuck on The Ocho
10 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Why are you watching bowling is the real question 

Why do you hate America?  

Came across it channel surfing, saw this dipshit roll the ball with two hands so Kept on watching to be sure I wasn’t halucinating. 

 

Full Disclosure:  have been known to watch Women’s Bowling, a few cuties that compete in it. 

6 minutes ago, elfenix said:
13 minutes ago, ztejas said:
Why are you watching bowling is the real question 

Lost the remote and it's stuck on The Ocho

Bold move, we'll see if it pays off

1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Full Disclosure:  have been known to watch Women’s Bowling, a few cuties that compete in it. 

We now know one of Vic's sock accounts.

On 1/12/2019 at 11:43 AM, Landomatic said:

Yeah, there could definitely be a whole thread on bad grammar.  I think "text" stands on it's own though as I believe the people using it as past tense truly think it's correct.  I don't think, when pressed, anyone would argue that "seen" vs "saw" is proper grammar.  But it's like since "text" as a verb is a fairly new word in the English language, there are idiots dug in on it and are just too dumb to figure it out.  You don't say, "I was just text her"...you say, "I was just texting her".  So why the fuck would you say, "I text her"...rather than "I texted her"?

I sexed her

Trade publication subscription calls.

Every Fucking Month.  Its like the fourth level of hell.

 

"Mr. Incredulity this is your last chance to renew your free subscription to Industry Week Monthly."

"Please cancel my subscription."

 

Narrator: They don't.

 

I’ve been getting one to two calls a day from an asshole company telling me they can lower my credit card rates or some shit. I kept hanging up once they start the spiel and they keep calling back. I decided to let them “help” me so I hung on the line until a real person picked up and started speaking like Marfan Mike asking for help. They hung up immediately. Must have taken my number off their list because my phone has been blissfully silent this year.

 

This pleases me so maybe wrong thread.

30 minutes ago, ABSR said:

We now know one of Vic's sock accounts.

I like how the defense for watching bowling was "I was channel surfing" but then there's a ready admission of watching women's bowling. 

"I was only watching the NBA because I was channel surfing. But I do like watching the WNBA"

How the fuck old are some of you that you watch women's bowling.

Not hating underdog, you do you, I'm into some weird shit too. Just more confused than anything.

I have one of those roomba vacuum cleaners. It does a good job. But about every 60 to 90 days it makes me reaffirm my email and password.

WHY? I doubt there will be a rogue house cleaner hacker wanting to clean the shit out of my place. I simply want to press a button and it clean.

Some apps and their security need to stand down with what they feel is important.

You sure your vacuum isn’t phishing you?

Scan credit card at gas station.

No, not debit.

Zip code.

Enter.

Confirmed.

Select grade.

Grade lights up.

Take nozzle from rack.

Insert nozzle in orifice.

Squeeze trigger.

.01 oz flows through hose.

Squeeze trigger again.

...

Turn around grade is still selected.

Confirmed is on screen.

Squeeze trigger again.

...

...

Would you like a car wash today?

 

 

Every damn time. No! You slow piece of shit.

 

Then you get instantaneously blasted by pop news buzz and streaming ads as soon as the pump kicks on. You have enough computing power to blast ads in my face, but not enough to juice over your 2400 baud modem to display a single sentence prompt?

 

 

 

2 hours ago, ztejas said:

Why are you watching bowling is the real question 

No kidding. I thought bowl season was over.

 

 

 

 

I'll see myself out.

  • Author

the only thing more boring than someone else's bowling story is someone else's fantasy football story.

when people say Jesus tittyfucking Christ
I read through the New Testament a couple times, there's nothing in there about Jesus fucking any titties. Don't try to be Biblical if you don't know the motherfucking Bible. 

Pretty sure it’s implied. Gotta read it in the original Greek and it makes sense. “Loaves” and “fishes”....think about it.
2 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

I'd rather watch amateur bowling than most bowl games.

You would also rather fuck Oprah than JLaw. 

 

OPINION INVALIDATED!

Speaking of gas stations, I ended up at a pump that flowed approximately one gallon per minute yesterday. That was cool.

HEB pumps:  swipe, then zip code, then listen to a 30 second pitch about fuel additive that you can't just preemptively click no on because their screens are too slow to pick up on it.  If I want additive, I'll dump some sea foam in on my own, thank you!

10 hours ago, Vic Mackey said:

I'd rather watch amateur bowling than most bowl games.

I watch for the wrecks.

11 hours ago, Llano Estacado said:

Scan credit card at gas station

 

 

I hate when there's backflow pressure and the auto-on lock pops off three or four times FUCK FUCK FUCK it's always when I'm in a hurry

13 hours ago, ztejas said:

I like how the defense for watching bowling was "I was channel surfing" but then there's a ready admission of watching women's bowling. 

"I was only watching the NBA because I was channel surfing. But I do like watching the WNBA"

How the fuck old are some of you that you watch women's bowling.

Not hating underdog, you do you, I'm into some weird shit too. Just more confused than anything.

What’s wrong with watching the WNBA?  

On ‎1‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 11:33 AM, Underdog said:

Wife hasn’t donated blood to the Red Cross for a few years now, borderline HBP, yet we still get calls from them asking for donations and we don’t even answer the calls.  

Damn, reminds me, I need to go donate. Thanks for posting!

Uh, forgetting to give blood makes me surly. Qualified!

12 hours ago, elfenix said:

the only thing more boring than someone else's bowling story is someone else's fantasy football story.

Listening to people recounting every single hand from the previous weekend's poker get-together sucks pretty badly, too.

1 hour ago, Underdog said:

What’s wrong with watching the WNBA?  

Nothing. The WNBA playoffs have actually become shockingly watchable.

I would never make fun of anyone's desire to watch a sporting event of any description. When we first got cable television back in the bronze age, and ESPN was fresh and new, I was addicted to Australian Rules Football, equestrian events, lumberjacking, women's field hockey, indoor soccer, you name it.

I was always disappointed that those Fox regional sports commercials for things like "Tree Catching" were fake. That would be quality television.

 

You would also rather fuck Oprah than JLaw. 
 
OPINION INVALIDATED!
False. I don't like black women.
40 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Anytime a news outlet uses BuzzFeed as a source.  To be so lazy as to cite a group who's sole existence is centered around generating listicles and click bait...

 

Example:

https://www.today.com/video/trump-directed-cohen-to-lie-to-congress-about-moscow-project-buzzfeed-report-says-1428184643985?fbclid=IwAR34tg5qUy1oRnHPpLx1PT9JLMfXx7Z-p-iouLS4JUmXcz-zrTxSY6UXYeQ

Buzzfeed and Buzzfeed News are 2 separate entities. 

I guess you discount that they employ finalists for the Pulitzer Award in International Reporting while employed with Buzzfeed News.  Buzzfeed News is also part of the White House Press Corps.

Edited by Js1

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

I guess you discount that they employ finalists for the Pulitzer Award in International Reporting while employed with Buzzfeed News. 

Isn't that like being voted Aggy of the Year?

14 hours ago, NorthLoop said:

You would also rather fuck Oprah than JLaw. 

That's just smart financial planning. 

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