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4 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Uhh, sir, corporate HR would like a word with you 1. for uttering that christian mans name (offending our aetheists, Muslins and Buddhists) and 2. for using that saviors name in vain...  They're gone have an ask session with you

Yeah, definitely glad I was able to escape corporate America.  Sometimes I'm jealous of the hours, but I couldn't handle that environment for long.  It takes a certain strength to put up with that and not fucking murder everyone.

Edited by Al_4_ISU

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  • Scheiss Meister
    Scheiss Meister

    The day I retired I set an auto reply that said something like "As of EOB today I will be retired.  If you expect me to reply to an email after 10:00 am today, you will be disappointed."  At the 3:00

  • Ghost of NMAS
    Ghost of NMAS

    I hate the people that ignore it when they have the right of way and try to wave me through first, it just fucks up the system and delays everyone

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People who put their briefcase, small bags or jackets in the overhead bin.  I had to check my carryon last night from Chicago because of this.  Inconsiderate pricks. 

13 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

People who put their briefcase, small bags or jackets in the overhead bin.  I had to check my carryon last night from Chicago because of this.  Inconsiderate pricks. 

If it's the only thing I'm carrying, sorry man, that's my space. I'm not screwing with my leg room.

I don't even know what this means.
Yeah I've never heard anyone say this or use 'ask' as a noun.

My wife uses the word "text" as a past tense verb. "I text my sister, she said she was blah blah". Rage.

1 hour ago, Johnny Sack said:

People who put their briefcase, small bags or jackets in the overhead bin.  I had to check my carryon last night from Chicago because of this.  Inconsiderate pricks. 

I’ll gate check my bag on every flight for the rest of my life if it means no bullshit emotional support animals within 5 rows of me.

 

34 minutes ago, VolenteHawk said:

I’ll gate check my bag on every flight for the rest of my life if it means no bullshit emotional support animals within 5 rows of me.

 

What did you call my wife?

1 hour ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Uhh, sir, corporate HR would like a word with you 1. for uttering that christian mans name (offending our aetheists, Muslins and Buddhists) and 2. for using that saviors name in vain...  They're gone have an ask session with you

You sure they didn't mean ass session?  Because I've had lots of those.  And at the end of the day, net-net, going forward...it's top notch.

1 minute ago, Lobo said:

You sure they didn't mean ass session?  Because I've had lots of those.  And at the end of the day, net-net, going forward...it's top notch.

Ass .....ask........ you're getting it in the end regardless.

12 minutes ago, Lobo said:

You sure they didn't mean ass session?  Because I've had lots of those.  And at the end of the day, net-net, going forward...it's top notch.

Synergy!

1 hour ago, VolenteHawk said:

I’ll gate check my bag on every flight for the rest of my life if it means no bullshit emotional support animals within 5 rows of me.

 

This right here! I am just waiting for one of them to bite me so I can have it euthanized.......because fuck them.

When some dipshit, usually a worthless middle management twat, says "Why didn't you think of that?" when I make a mistake. What kind of passive aggressive cuntery is this? I always respond, "Because I didn't".

Trying to get the got dam wrapper from clinging to your fingers after opening one of these m'effers!

 

36882.jpg

4 hours ago, Johnny Sack said:

People who put their briefcase, small bags or jackets in the overhead bin.  I had to check my carryon last night from Chicago because of this.  Inconsiderate pricks. 

Boarding with the poors, Mr. Sack? 

We have a woman in our office who says "HAAAAAAAY GIIIIIIIIRRRRRLLLLL!" when answering her phone. She might be the whitest lady on the planet.

3 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

We have a woman in our office who says "HAAAAAAAY GIIIIIIIIRRRRRLLLLL!" when answering her phone. She might be the whitest lady on the planet.

Hate when white women affect the hip black girl sound when they talk to black women/acquaintances.   

16 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

We have a woman in our office who says "HAAAAAAAY GIIIIIIIIRRRRRLLLLL!" when answering her phone. She might be the whitest lady on the planet.

So what?

2 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

So what?

 "HAAAAAAAY GIIIIIIIIRRRRRLLLLL!"  That alone would get old really fast.

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

So what?

It's trivial but annoying as fuck. Are you new to this thread?

Wrong thread

 

 

 

 

Edited by Incredulity
wrong thread. not sure how that happened.

When you can't find an appropriate difficulty level on a sports video game. One level you're running for 400 yards and winning 49-7, the next level you're lucky to score 14 and win by 1. I don't want to play around with the sliders but I guess that's all I got.

On 2/6/2019 at 1:52 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

If it's the only thing I'm carrying, sorry man, that's my space. I'm not screwing with my leg room.

I agree with both of you. I hate the pricks that throw two bags up, but if I'm just carrying the laptop bag, and I'm in for the bad movie, I'll throw it up - still only taking up one spot. This time of year, the jackets are the worst. Last flight some jackass put is coat up there ... my roller went on top of it.

On 2/6/2019 at 8:09 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

"Ask" as a noun is fucking bullshit. 

drives me nuts. i realize two syllables are so damn hard, but nothing wrong with "request." every meeting at my old shop was "do you have any asks?" I always wanted to say, "yes. grammar lessons for the group please."

14 minutes ago, Kyle said:

I agree with both of you. I hate the pricks that throw two bags up, but if I'm just carrying the laptop bag, and I'm in for the bad movie, I'll throw it up - still only taking up one spot. This time of year, the jackets are the worst. Last flight some jackass put is coat up there ... my roller went on top of it.

Once on a flight to Boston I was seated early on a full flight, some jackass across from me had stuffed his big parka and another jacket in the overhead.  Another guy with a carry-on stopped at his seat, opened the overhead door and promptly pulled that shit out and threw it in the aisle.  I vacillated between laughing and cheering.  Strangely enough nobody said shit.  Jackass just picked up his stuff and held it.

Edited by Judge Roybeanbag

26 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Once on a flight to Boston I was seated early on a full flight, some jackass across from me had stuffed his big parka and another jacket in the overhead.  Another guy with a carry-on stopped at his seat, opened the overhead door and promptly pulled that shit out and threw it in the aisle.  I vacillated between laughing and cheering.  Strangely enough nobody said shit.  Jackass just picked up his stuff and held it.

I've always wanted to see that. For some reason - I think it reflects the city - BOS has the worst travelers (the incident I referenced was to BOS). And nowhere else do so many group 5-8 people stand and block 20 minutes before the gate opens. F/As do not have to do much ... I wish they would do a better job policing that crap. I'm sure I've been That Guy on occasion but man there are a bunch of idiots on planes.

43 minutes ago, Kyle said:

drives me nuts. i realize two syllables are so damn hard, but nothing wrong with "request." every meeting at my old shop was "do you have any asks?" I always wanted to say, "yes. grammar lessons for the group please."

I will cut off a testicle if I ever use "ask" as a noun like that. Fucking California corporatespeak.

32 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Once on a flight to Boston I was seated early on a full flight, some jackass across from me had stuffed his big parka and another jacket in the overhead.  Another guy with a carry-on stopped at his seat, opened the overhead door and promptly pulled that shit out and threw it in the aisle.  I vacillated between laughing and cheering.  Strangely enough nobody said shit.  Jackass just picked up his stuff and held it.

Throwing it on the floor was a total dick move. The proper response was, hey not to be a dick, but the over head is for baggage, do mind if I move your stuff over or can you put it somewhere else please.  Or just let the flight attendant handle it, cause that's their, you know, job.

 

4 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

We have a woman in our office who says "HAAAAAAAY GIIIIIIIIRRRRRLLLLL!" when answering her phone. She might be the whitest lady on the planet.

 

imgur

9 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Throwing it on the floor was a total dick move. The proper response was, hey not to be a dick, but the over head is for baggage, do mind if I move your stuff over or can you put it somewhere else please.  Or just let the flight attendant handle it, cause that's their, you know, job.

Yeah I agree it was a dick move, but it was funny and I was surprised fisticuffs didn't result.

1 minute ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Yeah I agree it was a dick move, but it was funny and I was surprised fisticuffs didn't result.

Oh yeah I'm laughing if that happens, quietly and to myself.. but I'm laughing..  I can't believe there wasn't a scene.  

(I'm not claiming any moral high ground) 

2 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Yeah I agree it was a dick move, but it was funny and I was surprised fisticuffs didn't result.

Seriously ... I'm generally non-confrontational and take the passive aggressive approach. If someone leans back into me, I do not say anything but flip boogers in their hair all flight. 

36 minutes ago, Kyle said:

Seriously ... I'm generally non-confrontational and take the passive aggressive approach. If someone leans back into me, I do not say anything but flip boogers in their hair all flight. 

Brother?

6 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

It's trivial but annoying as fuck. Are you new to this thread?

Why does it bother you that she's white?

17 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

When you can't find an appropriate difficulty level on a sports video game. One level you're running for 400 yards and winning 49-7, the next level you're lucky to score 14 and win by 1. I don't want to play around with the sliders but I guess that's all I got.

Great one. I also want the stats to be reasonable. I don’t want myself or the CPU to throw for 650 and run for 12.

 

19 hours ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

I’m not sure if this one is on me or not but one thing that makes me surly is when you are trying to coordinate with someone or get a call scheduled, the person says “my calendar is up to date”. 

Yes, I imagine it is, if you have any degree of organization, but what it means is basically “I’m too lazy to give you any open windows of times/dates for you to choose from so go open up a shared calendar and wait for it to load and do the leg work for me thnx”

It’s especially annoying when the person is wide open. And they are the one requesting the meeting. 😐

Eh...yeah, that’s me. I’m busy enough for a pretty full calendar but not important enough for a full time admin.

Sorry.

 

On 2/6/2019 at 1:07 PM, Al_4_ISU said:

With lemon is better, but not necessary.

Has to be actual lemon though.  A diet sweet tea with artificial flavoring is pure trash.

Actual lemon unless Whataburger.  Those lemon juice packets aren’t terrible.

31 minutes ago, Druggist said:

Actual lemon unless Whataburger.  Those lemon juice packets aren’t terrible.

Lemon juice would be fine.  What I'm opposed to is some kind of diet sweetener/artificial lemon flavoring like you see with prepackaged bottled tea.

When you see a great sale on a clothing/shoe item that's exactly what you want, only to find it's not available in your size.

Freezing my ass off at the gas pump this morning:

Pick up pump and insert my CC

Debit or Credit?

Zip Code?

Receipt?

Do you want a car wash?

How about some overpriced fuel additives?

Are you sure?

Do you love this shit?

Are you high right now?

Do you ever get nervous?

Are you single?

 

29 minutes ago, Hmbre97 said:

Freezing my ass off at the gas pump this morning:

Pick up pump and insert my CC

Debit or Credit?

Zip Code?

Receipt?

Do you want a car wash?

How about some overpriced fuel additives?

Are you sure?

Do you love this shit?

Are you high right now?

Do you ever get nervous?

Are you single?

 

Not feeling that love from my gas pumps. Yer special brah.

My office has two floors, each with a men's room and a ladies.  For the last 5 years, the cleaning person was female so once or twice a day she'd clean the bathrooms.  This meant that every once in a while I'd find my floor's restroom closed while the woman was inside cleaning.  This meant I had to suffer the inconvenience of going down a flight of stairs are waiting 10 or 15 minutes.  Cleaning person recently changed to a man now the ladies' room is briefly closed for cleaning once or twice a day.  This apparently set off a firestorm of complaints from unnamed chicks because inconvenience to them.

I want to find these people and hit them over their heads with a vodka bottle.

My office has two floors, each with a men's room and a ladies.  For the last 5 years, the cleaning person was female so once or twice a day she'd clean the bathrooms.  This meant that every once in a while I'd find my floor's restroom closed while the woman was inside cleaning.  This meant I had to suffer the inconvenience of going down a flight of stairs are waiting 10 or 15 minutes.  Cleaning person recently changed to a man now the ladies' room is briefly closed for cleaning once or twice a day.  This apparently set off a firestorm of complaints from unnamed chicks because inconvenience to them.
I want to find these people and hit them over their heads with a vodka bottle.
Was the cleaning woman pretty hot?

Our cleaning ladiesLOVE to hit the bathrooms right at the time when most of us are leaving. Sucks when you need to pee and have a somewhat long commute coming up. 

Edited by NorthLoop

On 2/7/2019 at 2:06 PM, SwanderedTalent said:

When you can't find an appropriate difficulty level on a sports video game. One level you're running for 400 yards and winning 49-7, the next level you're lucky to score 14 and win by 1. I don't want to play around with the sliders but I guess that's all I got.

but isn't this where you want it? an even difficulty level. it's makes you a better player to get a challenge, makes you feel better when you do win. 

3 hours ago, Hmbre97 said:

Are you single?

 

Well...  are you?  PM is pending on answer.  For a friend, of course. 

  • Author
4 hours ago, Hmbre97 said:

Freezing my ass off at the gas pump this morning:

Pick up pump and insert my CC

Debit or Credit?

Zip Code?

Receipt?

Do you want a car wash?

How about some overpriced fuel additives?

Are you sure?

Do you love this shit?

Are you high right now?

Do you ever get nervous?

Are you single?

 

costco pumps ask me if i want to use the card i just swiped to pay for my gas. 

Thirty one items. I counted. Including multiple bags of produce that they didn’t weigh and price. So the cashier had to. 

This isnt ‘Nam. There are rules.

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