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Posted

“The tradition seemed almost as old as the Rockies themselves. A few pre-show cocktails, a Tropical Mango vape rip, and a dry handjob at a sold-out musical production. But can in survive cancel culture?” 

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Posted

Absolutely perfect.  I got my first handjob at a Christian Youth Summit after we had movie night and they let the boys and girls stay up late and hang out after lights out.  And the movie we watched (you don't forget shit like this)?  You guessed it.  "Beetlejuice."  

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Posted
51 minutes ago, Thrawn said:

I like how she conveniently leaves out the titty tweaking and crank yanking from her list of alleged wrong doings.

If titty tweaking is wrong I don’t want to be right 

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Posted

People are being way too harsh on Boebert.  As a 36 year old gramma whose kid just knocked up a 15 year old, why can’t everyone recognize her excellent role model in showing young women how to give hand jobs instead of letting demon seed into their va-jay-jays?

So the next time you see a video of Boebert getting anal in a church pew, ponder the excellent job she is doing demonstrating how to prevent teen pregnancy. 

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Posted
People are being way too harsh on Boebert.  As a 36 year old gramma whose kid just knocked up a 15 year old, why can’t everyone recognize her excellent role model in showing young women how to give hand jobs instead of letting demon seed into their va-jay-jays?
So the next time you see a video of Boebert getting anal in a church pew, ponder the excellent job she is doing demonstrating how to prevent teen pregnancy. 

Seems like she represents 2023 America pretty well to me.
Posted
29 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Heard any good jokes lately? 

A penguin had to take his car for engine repair. The mechanic told the penguin to leave his car with him for about two hours, to find out whats wrong. The penguin goes across the street to a grocery store, climbs into a freezer and ate vanilla ice cream. Eventually the penguin went back to the garage to find out what happened to his car. When the penguin entered the garage, the mechanic looked at him and said, "Looks like you blew a seal."


The penguin replied, “Nope, but I killed some time waiting at a Beetlejuice show and sat next to Boebert’s date!”

Wait…did you say “good?”

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Posted

I'm trying to not make this into something more than a white trash ditch pig doing ditch pig things. But I do wonder what her reaction to the Obamas doing something like this would be.

PS - I will forever be grateful to @Bama Chick for putting ditch pig in my lexicon.

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Posted
17 minutes ago, tchookem said:

I'm trying to not make this into something more than a white trash ditch pig doing ditch pig things. But I do wonder what her reaction to the Obamas doing something like this would be.

Was Obama snacking on fancy French mustard and wearing a tan suit while getting his handy?

PS - I will forever be grateful to @Bama Chick for putting ditch pig in my lexicon.

Co-sign

 

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Posted
41 minutes ago, tchookem said:

I'm trying to not make this into something more than a white trash ditch pig doing ditch pig things. But I do wonder what her reaction to the Obamas doing something like this would be.

PS - I will forever be grateful to @Bama Chick for putting ditch pig in my lexicon.

If President Obama were seen wearing a tan suit AND grabbing Michelle's tits at a theater performance they would either push to end all performances because they promote "grooming" or push for resegregation so their children won't be subjected the uncontrollable carnal desires of "those people".

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Posted
23 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Absolutely perfect.  I got my first handjob at a Christian Youth Summit after we had movie night and they let the boys and girls stay up late and hang out after lights out.  And the movie we watched (you don't forget shit like this)?  You guessed it.  "Beetlejuice."  

God. Damn. Simulation. 

Posted
On 9/16/2023 at 10:29 PM, YGIFS said:

Absolutely perfect.  I got my first handjob at a Christian Youth Summit after we had movie night and they let the boys and girls stay up late and hang out after lights out.  And the movie we watched (you don't forget shit like this)?  You guessed it.  "Beetlejuice."  

Probably Lauren's mom

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Biff Tannen said:

God. Blessed. Stimulation. 

Fixed for Christian Youth Summit accuracy. "Laying on of hands" indeed. 

Edited by NWBuck
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Posted

 You shouldn't have to explain a good joke.  

But it does bring up another point that got lost in that Youth Minister thread.  How sad is it that there's parents in the Houston area telling their kids, "I don't know about sending you to this youth retreat, even if it is conservative Christians like us.  I've heard stories of boys and girls pairing to do above the clothes stuff that God does not approve of, vaping drugs, smuggling in cups of alcohol, and who the devil knows what else.  What's that?  Lauren Boebert is gonna be there?  Well then, let's get you signed up.  Here's some extra money so you can have fun with everyone."  

Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, UTCzech III said:

Yeah, it's all about the vaping.

 

I'm actually pretty surprised they dropped her. What, being a grandma at 38 and married to a husband who is a sex offender wasn't enough to think "Maybe she's not a good fit." But some over the pants stuff and vaping? Well ok. 

But don't worry everyone, the youth is still in good hands with this slate of good-fearing Christians and absolutely not amoral sociopathic fascsits:

May be an image of 10 people and text that says 'TEXAS YOUTH SUMMIT CONFIRMED SPEAKERS: DONALD TRUMP JR. CHARLIE KIRK CONGRESSMAN CONGRESSMAN CONGRESSMAN CONGRE WESLEY HUNT BYRON DONALDS TROY NEHLS CONGRESSMA CONGR CORY MILLS KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE RILEY GAINES CHRISTIAN COLLINS YEONMI PARK ABBY JOHNSON CONGRESSWOMAN CONGRE SSWOMAN MAY RA FLORES CHAD ROBICHAUX JACO BOOYENS SAVANAH HERNANDEZ MICHAEL SEIFERT LILY KaTE STATE SENATOR BRANDON CREIGHTON STEVE TOTH JESSICA HART STEINMANN ALEXANDRA MEALER KENNY WEBSTER CHARLES BLAIN'

Edited by SydneyCarton
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