Samsonite!! I was waayy off.

[McCroskey 1505]

I knew it started with an S though.

[BigDHornfan 6549]

Big Gulps huh?

[smuggs 9353]

So he says, “Do you love me?” And she says, “No, but that’s a real nice ski mask!”

[WBT 20647]

Slippy, Slappy, Simmon, Sommen, Swensen, Swanson?

[4th&Five 41571]

Harry, your hands are freezing! 

[TommyGufano 6021]

275 thou. Might want to hang onto that one.

[futureman 22516]

tic tac, sir?

[TommyGufano 6021]

The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson I just got that old-fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her

[Parliament 14276]

I usually don't pick up strangers, but this time I'm gonna go with my instincts. Saddle up, Partner!

[futureman 22516]

1 hour ago, TommyGufano said:

The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson I just got that old-fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her

that’s a special feeling, Lloyd. 

[GTX Horn 1710]

Oh jeez, look at the butt on that

yeah, he must workout

[Dennis Taylor 18849]

Thats as good as money sir...those are IOUs

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

I'll tell ya where. Some place warm. A place where the beer flows like wine and beautiful women instinctively flock that salmon of capastrano! I'm talking about a place called ASPEN!

I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes.

[Red Five 40877]

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

Lauren Holly. Yum.

 

[Hunt Stevenson 41]

I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier

[chikin23 384]

I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier

That John Denver's full of shit, man.

[Parliament 14276]

Harry! Your hands are freezing!

[South Austin 52526]

His head fell off?

Yeah, he was pretty old.

[McCroskey 1505]

Why would she have you meet her at a bar at 10 in the morning?

[someguy 1509]

pull over

no, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticing.

KILLER BOOTS MAN

[WBT 20647]

Skis, huh?  They yours?  Both of them?

[WBT 20647]

3 hours ago, McCroskey said:

Why would she have you meet her at a bar at 10 in the morning?

I just figured she was a raging alcoholic.

Edited January 7, 2021 by WBT

[Wiler77 1567]

17 hours ago, Hunt Stevenson said:

I thought the Rocky Mountains would be a little rockier

My wife quotes this every year on the way to Colorado.  We get on the road by 430am, and she wakes up around 730-8.  Yawns, stretches, and says this line.  Makes me laugh every time.

[Al_4_ISU 12475]

What did you sell him Lloyd?  What kind of stuff?

A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles, <cough> Petey

[Biff Tannen 45696]

OUR PET'S HEADS ARE FALLIN' OFF!

[horngrad03 1148]

It's ok....I'm a limo driver!!

[Parliament 14276]

What did you sell him Lloyd?  What kind of stuff?
A few baseball cards, a sack of marbles, Petey

You sold a dead bird to the blind kid?!

[Incredulity 11680]

I got worms...

 

That’s what we’re gonna call it.

[chikin23 384]

Harry, your hands are freezing! 

Definitely one of the under appreciated lines.

[capnamerca 571]

How was your day, Lloyd?

Ok. Fell off the jet bridge again.

[Fuck Tim Beck 3834]

Nice set of hooters you got there!

[Al_4_ISU 12475]

You sold a dead bird to the blind kid?!

I took care of it!

[McCroskey 1505]

You know why I like you Harry? Cause you’re a regular guy, and I want you to stay regular.

[Parliament 14276]

I'll be at the bar...puttin' out the Vibe.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about not listening to her, or something, I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention

[Al_4_ISU 12475]

Some little filly break your heart?

No.  It was a girl.

[Dennis Taylor 18849]

3 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Yeah I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about not listening to her, or something, I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention

[lateshow 1305]

Nice set of hooters ya got there. 

[CooterBrown 18021]

Kick his ass, Sea Bass!

It's still my go-to line when a fight breaks out on the field.

[CurlyDumps 4477]

Why dontcha eat up and we'll tell ya?

[futureman 22516]

felcher? from cranston?

[McCroskey 1505]

4 minutes ago, futureman said:

felcher? from cranston?

Yeah, you know her?

[futureman 22516]

oh YEAHHHH.  I mean, I remember you... talking about her.

[CooterBrown 18021]

Traded the van for it straight up.   I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Kick his ass, Sea Bass!
It's still my go-to line when a fight breaks out on the field.

Make it four boilermakers

[someguy 1509]

What's the soup de jour?

It's the soup of the day.

Mmm...sounds good, I'll have that.

[Parliament 14276]

9 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

Traded the van for it straight up.   I can get 70 miles to the gallon on this hog.

Just when I thought you couldn't do anything dumber, you do this...

[chikin23 384]

And totally redeem yourself!

[Parliament 14276]

Saddle up, Partner!