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Posted
  On 2/9/2021 at 8:52 PM, Pescado_Rojo said:

This reminds me of the time I had to give an oral book report in front of my entire English class, but I didn't read the book...So I got high at lunch and skimmed the comic book version. 

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One of my favorites was in 6th grade when I was supposed to give an oral report about the Houston Astros in front of the class and I coolly explained (with the most professorial delivery that I could muster) that they got the name in 1918 as a shortening of the word "astroturf" -- to highlight the new kind of artificial grass installed at the stadium.

The teacher, evidently a baseball fan, was not amused and called me out instantly. I checked my watch and noticed I was two minutes in to a ten minute report. I have no memory of the next eight minutes whatsoever.

This guy is on my level of bullshitter.

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Posted
  On 2/9/2021 at 8:52 PM, TXSG8R said:

Can this motherfucker not work PowerPoint to give everyone else a visual aid? Why is he reading from a tourist kiosk pamphlet?

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I loved that he was reading things that had already been presented on screen and he was choosing to omit critical words we all saw an hour ago. 

Posted
  On 2/9/2021 at 8:35 PM, Texas St. Armadillos said:
The Industrial Revolution to me is just like a story I know called "The Puppy Who Lost His Way." The world was changing, and the puppy was getting... bigger.
So, you see, the puppy was like industry. In that, they were both lost in the woods. And nobody, especially the little boy - "society" - knew where to find 'em. Except that the puppy was a dog. But the industry, my friends, that was a revolution.
Still more convincing and lawyerly than this shit.
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Posted

Whenever he does the head/water thing, all I can think of is Ted Stryker.  "And my time as Trump's attorney, more than anything...led to my drinking problem."  

Posted

Lust for impeachment? How about don’t do a shit ton of impeachable crap and you won’t have to worry about it. 

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Posted

Love the impeachment montage. Not sure it makes the argument you think it does since those were all in reference to unrelated criminal activity but at least you weren't reading quotes.

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Posted

Donald Trump has done nothing but prove everyone right who said he was corrupt, incompetent, and unfit for office since the day he was elected. The fact that the rest of us knew it all along is not a defense against him inciting a violent insurrection against democracy itself. That was what we’ve been warning against all along.

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Posted

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-lawyer-suit-fraud/2021/02/09/50f0769e-6ae3-11eb-ba56-d7e2c8defa31_story.html

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SIAP

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Posted
  On 2/9/2021 at 9:09 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

Donald Trump has done nothing but prove everyone right who said he was corrupt, incompetent, and unfit for office since the day he was elected. The fact that the rest of us knew it all along is not a defense against him inciting a violent insurrection against democracy itself. That was what we’ve been warning against all along.

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Remember when the daily Texan brigade kept telling us we were overreacting by saying Trump wanted to be an authoritarian. I member 

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Posted
  On 2/9/2021 at 9:08 PM, Red Five said:

I wonder if they're ever going to get around to actually defending his actions. 

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ITS ALL COMING IN THE CLOSING ARGUMENTS. YOU'LL SEE. THEY'LL SHRED THE WELL PREPARED CASE THE VERY SMART, WELL SPOKEN, ENGAGING GUYS OVER THERE PUT TOGETHER

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Posted
  On 2/9/2021 at 9:21 PM, hobbes2702 said:
Obviously I’m not Jewish, why isn’t he wearing it? And do you only cover when drinking or eating? 

I’m not sure why he’s not wearing it. My best guess is that trump didn’t want his white supremacist base to see his lawyers wearing a yarmulke.

Orthodox men typically wear it at all times except sleeping or bathing. But it has to worn on certain occasions, such as when praying or eating.
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Posted
  On 2/9/2021 at 9:30 PM, lemonlime said:


I’m not sure why he’s not wearing it. My best guess is that trump didn’t want his white supremacist base to see his lawyers wearing a yarmulke.

Orthodox men typically wear it at all times except sleeping or bathing. But it has to worn on certain occasions, such as when praying or eating.

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what about when shitting from the mouth?

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Posted
  On 2/9/2021 at 9:31 PM, Chad Fuck said:

What's this fucking Bill of Attainder nonsense. My god it's just throwing whatever up and seeing if it will stick.

 

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I'm trying to recall a worse defense than this but I've got nothing. And I've seen some doozies. These guys are Rudy level bad. 



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