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Posted
Deshaun is paying these massage therapists to concoct this story, to add pressure to force Houston to trade or release him. When they do, he will have them all recant. 
 
Seems no more or less likely than the nfl owners cabal being behind it. 
Not gonna lie, this thought crossed my mind earlier today when I was trying to figure out how it all came together so quickly and easily... And all with Tony Buzbee...
Posted
That may not be true. It is quite possible Webster's has a new entry as a synonym to premature ejaculation: Like, don't Watson all over the vintage Playboys.

Wait a minute! I read somewhere... checks notes... a Watson is a unit of measurement, and equals 59 yards.
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Posted
5 hours ago, JMFP said:

He was probably edging before he went in... I read a post on Reddit a few years ago by a chick that worked in a waxing salon, she said a dude did this twice in their shop. First time they wrote it off but the second time he did they called the cops. She said he would work himself by hand in the parking lot until he was about to O then stop. Then would go inside and when  they went to put wax on he would blow all over. I seem to remember from the responses that it wasn't all that uncommon.

Hmm. My penis doesn't work like that. YMMV.

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Posted
10 hours ago, JMFP said:

He was probably edging before he went in... I read a post on Reddit a few years ago by a chick that worked in a waxing salon, she said a dude did this twice in their shop. First time they wrote it off but the second time he did they called the cops. She said he would work himself by hand in the parking lot until he was about to O then stop. Then would go inside and when  they went to put wax on he would blow all over. I seem to remember from the responses that it wasn't all that uncommon.

Something right with the world today
And everybody knows it's wrong
But we can tell 'em no or we could let it go
But I would rather be a hanging on

.......

Livin' on the edge!

 

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Posted (edited)
6 hours ago, B00M said:

Buzbee discrediting 20+ women single handedly 

tumblr_lnrqruwRL51qctxoxo1_500.gif?fit=5

Wait, 20+ sexual assault victims aren't supposed to feel inspired and validated about a crazy instagram post from their lawyer making their claims and cases about himself again?

Edited by Pam Cummings
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Posted
10 hours ago, Js1 said:

The fuck

 

The first reply in the twitter feed nails it!

 
"He’s an aggy, u expected something different"
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Posted
15 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Going to be?!? 

Already is 

This offseason has been far more entertaining than any "product" the Texans have ever put on the football field. As a former fan I am enjoying it immensely.

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Posted
15 hours ago, JMFP said:

He was probably edging before he went in... I read a post on Reddit a few years ago by a chick that worked in a waxing salon, she said a dude did this twice in their shop. First time they wrote it off but the second time he did they called the cops. She said he would work himself by hand in the parking lot until he was about to O then stop. Then would go inside and when  they went to put wax on he would blow all over. I seem to remember from the responses that it wasn't all that uncommon.

Welp, that's weird as fuck so it fits this story perfectly. Tell me there's embarrassing parking lot security cam footage.

monophy.gif

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Posted
On 3/28/2021 at 7:26 PM, staboner said:

that shit reads hilarious. touched her hand with his penis. 

does his fucking dick have thumbs and a means of transport?

 

Sounds like a pretty good defense.  "I cannot control this damn penis.  It just goes around touching women's hands and ejaculating all over the place.  I'm as much a victim as these poor women. I'm sort of like Seymour Krelborn and my penis is Audrey II. It's just out of control and I can't do anything about it." 

Posted
23 minutes ago, J.R. Juniors Junior Jr. said:

Look at all the ones I didn't harass...see?  

But seriously, why so many?  When you add the accusers and this group, that's like 38 massage therapists.

 

This for real. When you can pay for the best and it's part of maintaining your career, you try a handful of the best, pick your favorite and pay her indefinitely. 

It's going to be hilarious when these 40+ women are all in a room together, looking at each other, realizing they're all attractive and it had nothing to do with the therapy.

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Posted
1 minute ago, B00M said:

This for real. When you can pay for the best and it's part of maintaining your career, you try a handful of the best, pick your favorite and pay her indefinitely. 

It's going to be hilarious when these 40+ women are all in a room together, looking at each other, realizing they're all attractive and it had nothing to do with the therapy.

Some people like collecting shoes, some like collecting massage therapist. 

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Posted
4 minutes ago, B00M said:

This for real. When you can pay for the best and it's part of maintaining your career, you try a handful of the best, pick your favorite and pay her indefinitely. 

It's going to be hilarious when these 40+ women are all in a room together, looking at each other, realizing they're all attractive and it had nothing to do with the therapy.

Slightly less hilarious when the ones speaking to Hardin realize they are the less attractive ones...

Posted
1 minute ago, Chuckie Finster said:

Slightly less hilarious when the ones speaking to Hardin realize they are the less attractive ones...

Ha! In hindsight, hilarious was a really poor word choice. My bad. It's just amusing to consider how the defense will try to ignore that elephant in the room. 

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Posted

"Your honor, we would like to submit into evidence the 17,865,000 people in the New York City metropolitan area that my client did not murder."

- Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's lawyer at trial, probably

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Posted

So does just this (stunning amount of) allegation(s) trigger the morals clause of his contract? Inquiring minds and what not. Rapelisberger got suspended without a conviction and it was just one allegation (with a hefty settlement). He's untradeable now.

Posted
2 hours ago, Machinator said:

 

If these 18 plus the 19 in the lawsuits are the ONLY masseuses Watson has seen....he’s had a different masseuse every 5 weeks or so since getting to Houston.

 

This whole shitshow is weird AF.

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:

So I guess the lawyers are having a masseuse off..who can get the most statements on record.

If this was only happening at strip joints.... Anyway, Houstonians should be compiling a pretty solid Instagram list.

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Posted
3 hours ago, B00M said:

This for real. When you can pay for the best and it's part of maintaining your career, you try a handful of the best, pick your favorite and pay her indefinitely. 

It's going to be hilarious when these 40+ women are all in a room together, looking at each other, realizing they're all attractive and it had nothing to do with the therapy.

Spider Man Reaction GIF

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