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Noah's Ark

Horn_Spanker

By Horn_Spanker
in Daily Texan

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smuggs

smuggs 9358

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15 minutes ago, Horn_Spanker said:

I have some mentally challenged cousins, who just traveled through Kentucky and visited the Ark.  I'll let these two photos explain why I say, Jesus Fucking Christ!

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That's the one thing I hate about Kentucky - all the god damned dimetrodons.

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gyroprotagonist

gyroprotagonist 2595

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14 minutes ago, TexPx said:

Wife’s nut job cousin and husband stopped by here on their way from Cali to Austin. This is the only thing they wanted to visit in D/FW.

Wife was a good host and went with. Told them I had to wash my hair and couldn’t make it.
https://discoverycenter.icr.org/things-to-do


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

damn, i have lived here for 20 years now and never heard of this, but Moses riding a raptor?  sign me up.

would love to see a list of their 'experts' 

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ABSR

ABSR 5329

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2 minutes ago, Braff Zacklin said:

Yea, so it was written ...

bsxftb8r0f341.jpg

I went to their website to see if they sold T-shirts with the Jesus on a T-rex image along with their "museum" name, but I could not find any.    I definitely would have bought one.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26570

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In Basic Training there was this side-track training unit called Bravo Company, aka The Fat Boy Club, where, skinny or fat, you might get routed for a few weeks before starting real Basic to exercise, constantly, until you toned up enough to theoretically pass a PT test.

You got paid while you were there, constantly exercising. Eat that, Crossfit.

Anyway, there was a Creationist chaplain who would come around once in a while and teach us about dinosaur footprints being found at the same fossilized mud level as some human's footprints. I always imagined the human as looking like Jim Morrison, fleeing dinosaurs.

I don't remember any of our group being particularly rabid pro-or-anti-Creationist, but as long as the Chaplain talked, we got paid without having to exercise. So sometimes we'd ask lots of questions.

This happened in Kentucky.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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My son's snatch host belongs to one of them crazy hillbilly sects. She took the grandkids to Kentucky to see something like that one summer, or it might have been that place. Some vacation, bet they couldn't wait to git home and tell all their friends. Oh hell, who am I kidding, kids like that don't have friends. Just mud, anger and starving animals. 

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staboner

staboner 5017

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22 minutes ago, Whitewater Horn said:

Man, that Bill Hicks bit about dinosaurs and the Bible really shook some of the less faithful/more wackadoo variety of Christian fundamentalists. From Glen Rose all the way to Kentucky. “Sing along, children. Behemoth is a dinosaur.”

what a big fucking lizard lord. i'm sure going write about this in my book...

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Willfully Horn

Willfully Horn 8104

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49 minutes ago, Whitewater Horn said:

Man, that Bill Hicks bit about dinosaurs and the Bible really shook some of the less faithful/more wackadoo variety of Christian fundamentalists. From Glen Rose all the way to Kentucky. “Sing along, children. Behemoth is a dinosaur.”

Thats one of God’s easiest jokes!

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High Plains Drifter

High Plains Drifter 11075

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Despite being included in packages of little plastic "dinosaurs", Dimetrodons were not dinosaurs. They went extinct tens of millions of years before dinosaurs evolved. They are more closely related to modern mammals than dinosaurs or reptiles.

 

Anyway, some years ago I volunteered at a local nature conservancy type place. I would frequently lead educational hikes for visiting groups of students or old people or whoever. Sometimes these hikes or walks would focus on local geology. Once I was leading some sort of Christian home school group. We walk into this little ravine and I'm talking about the rock formations, saying something like "Millions of years ago, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

One of the chaperones of the group interrupted me and said "We believe the Earth is only six thousand years old."

I said "Get the fuck out here. Just get out."

No, actually I said "OK, however long ago you want to believe, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

 

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woohorn

woohorn 1131

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Wife’s nut job cousin and husband stopped by here on their way from Cali to Austin. This is the only thing they wanted to visit in D/FW.

Wife was a good host and went with. Told them I had to wash my hair and couldn’t make it.
https://discoverycenter.icr.org/things-to-do


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.
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KYHorn

KYHorn 17308

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13 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

Read this 100 times on my way to the bottom of the page

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15382

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Posted (edited)
20 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

 

19 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

 

18 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

 

17 minutes ago, woohorn said:


 

 


Driven by 100 times on my way to Luna Vista/LB Houston and always wondered what creation research was and why it needed an institute. They have a very nice campus in a really shitty part of Dallas.

 

image.gif.5504736526100f4a72f8c964028611cf.gif

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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8 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Despite being included in packages of little plastic "dinosaurs", Dimetrodons were not dinosaurs. They went extinct tens of millions of years before dinosaurs evolved. They are more closely related to modern mammals than dinosaurs or reptiles.

 

Anyway, some years ago I volunteered at a local nature conservancy type place. I would frequently lead educational hikes for visiting groups of students or old people or whoever. Sometimes these hikes or walks would focus on local geology. Once I was leading some sort of Christian home school group. We walk into this little ravine and I'm talking about the rock formations, saying something like "Millions of years ago, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

One of the chaperones of the group interrupted me and said "We believe the Earth is only six thousand years old."

I said "Get the fuck out here. Just get out."

No, actually I said "OK, however long ago you want to believe, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

 

Yeah, whichever parent/chaperone selected the "Geology Tour" from the list of options, they should have fucking known.  You don't see Christian Scientists taking group tours of a fucking pharmaceutical facility.  Mormons don't organize brewery tours.  Muslims don't gather 'round to watch Jamon Iberico get sliced at the open market.  I would have offered them the Red tour on geology "That's all geology is.  Pressure and Time.  Thank you for coming, good day."  Then spend the rest of two hours on break.  

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GhostOfTomJoad

GhostOfTomJoad 9453

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This topic reminds me of a similar discussion on TOS, and specifically a sooner poster (onemug...remember him) when asked to explain how the fuck animals that weren't equipped to climb down from Mount Ararat post-flood typed a serious response that has cracked me up for years:

"God placed the most sure footed hippos on the ark."

Sure Footed Hippos is a pretty damn good band name.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Also a great name for a radicalized Christian cult.  

"And we, the Sure Footed Hippos, will lovingly welcome to coming of our savior.  Tomorrow evening, at the Route 38 Applebee's."  

I'm still genuinely surprised at how Creationists are not only still around, but spend so much time, money, and effort trying to convince others of the same 'origin story.'  I guess it also helps explain how shit like Qanon grows its numbers of naive sheep. 

I know it's easy and comforting to think the Universe is only 6,000 years old and 500 million year old fossils are just a ruse.  It's the easy route.  But that's just it, science is easy too.  Nobody's asking you go out after bible study and carbon date rocks for a three years.  People have already done it.  Smart people busted their ass, did the math, and now we know about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, volcanic patters, where oil is, where to build structures and not build structures, and even where to put roadside fun like Inner Space Cavern.  Nobody's asking you to put aside your faith and actually go and do science.  Just accept that it's been done for the benefit of all society and quit wasting your time and money on this shit when you can help people in more meaningful ways.  How many of Austin's homeless could Mayor Adler fit on that ark huh? 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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^
Fake picture!  A real Nazi T-Rex would have worn the party armband on his left arm, not his hind-leg.  Poor short-arm bastard though, his "Heil Hitler" salute probably looked pathetic around the HQ.  

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 22054

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BTo be fair, an all powerful God would have no trouble creating an earth 6,000 years ago that came ready made with fossils that carbon date as millions of years old.  You know, just as a trick to trap the unfaithful.  Now, disprove that.

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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40 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

BTo be fair, an all powerful God would have no trouble creating an earth 6,000 years ago that came ready made with fossils that carbon date as millions of years old.  You know, just as a trick to trap the unfaithful.  Now, disprove that.

Seriously, he created the world in 6 days... he probably got bored, and was just looking for some diversion from the boredom ... and as we all know, a bored mind is the devils playground...... wait....

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smuggs

smuggs 9358

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11 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Despite being included in packages of little plastic "dinosaurs", Dimetrodons were not dinosaurs. They went extinct tens of millions of years before dinosaurs evolved. They are more closely related to modern mammals than dinosaurs or reptiles.

Those pteranodons in the other photo aren’t dinosaurs either. I’m sure the arksperts have this figured out though.

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