Noah's Ark

[Guest Lobo]

2 hours ago, BrickHorn said:

You know, the Nazis had flair that they made the dinosaurs wear. 

Edited February 6, 2021 by Lobo

[WhatTheBuck 28851]

On 2/5/2021 at 6:38 PM, El Diablo said:

My son's snatch host belongs to one of them crazy hillbilly sects. She took the grandkids to Kentucky to see something like that one summer, or it might have been that place. Some vacation, bet they couldn't wait to git home and tell all their friends. Oh hell, who am I kidding, kids like that don't have friends. Just mud, anger and starving animals. 

So your son had already been to Mammoth Cave. 

[Guest Lobo]

Is that the Gynecological term?

[WhatTheBuck 28851]

16 hours ago, GhostOfTomJoad said:

This topic reminds me of a similar discussion on TOS, and specifically a sooner poster (onemug...remember him) when asked to explain how the fuck animals that weren't equipped to climb down from Mount Ararat post-flood typed a serious response that has cracked me up for years:

"God placed the most sure footed hippos on the ark."

Sure Footed Hippos is a pretty damn good band name.

How did all the lemurs get back to Madagascar...and nowhere else?

Creationists are stupid. And fuck Ken Ham. 

[Nivek 17078]

We also know how well species do when they have limited genetic diversity.

[Brisketexan 105691]

We also know how well species do when they have limited genetic diversity.

Why do you hate Arkansas?

[Nivek 17078]

12 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Why do you hate Arkansas?

Arkansas, the state is stunningly beautiful.   The people.... bless their hearts.

[Armybrat 41037]

On 2/5/2021 at 5:21 PM, RDCanecutter said:

In Basic Training there was this side-track training unit called Bravo Company, aka The Fat Boy Club, where, skinny or fat, you might get routed for a few weeks before starting real Basic to exercise, constantly, until you toned up enough to theoretically pass a PT test.

You got paid while you were there, constantly exercising. Eat that, Crossfit.

Anyway, there was a Creationist chaplain who would come around once in a while and teach us about dinosaur footprints being found at the same fossilized mud level as some human's footprints. I always imagined the human as looking like Jim Morrison, fleeing dinosaurs.

I don't remember any of our group being particularly rabid pro-or-anti-Creationist, but as long as the Chaplain talked, we got paid without having to exercise. So sometimes we'd ask lots of questions.

This happened in Kentucky.

Those were just Keith Richards tracks while he was looking for some ditch weed.

[Guest Lobo]

12 hours ago, Nivek said:

We also know how well species do when they have limited genetic diversity.

The dinosaurs' limited genetic diversity eventually led to their demise when they began following the insane lamentations of a special dinosaur called "Q" or Quaesitosaurus.  He lived in the late Late Cretaceous period.  He fed them the kind of deceitful lies that the herbivores so ravenously craved.  

As many of those species like to proudly declare, "Where we go one into the ground, we go all."  So they died and turned into oil.  But never forget the Quaesitosaurus' dying words, "The Cretaceous Shall Rise Again!  It's not about hate, it's about herbs!"  

[Armybrat 41037]

[Guest Lobo]

^

I still feel like there's a painting somewhere in his house of Armybrat riding a dinosaur as a youth, and people come over and ask, "Oh, you must be a creationist then?"  And armybrat just gives them this look, like..."That was Sparky, you asshole."  

[Asithappens 974]

Ignorance: thy name is evangelical christian.

[Beau Vine 55012]

On 2/5/2021 at 9:23 PM, High Plains Drifter said:

Anyway, some years ago I volunteered at a local nature conservancy type place. I would frequently lead educational hikes for visiting groups of students or old people or whoever. Sometimes these hikes or walks would focus on local geology. Once I was leading some sort of Christian home school group. We walk into this little ravine and I'm talking about the rock formations, saying something like "Millions of years ago, lava flows covered this area blah blah blah..."

One of the chaperones of the group interrupted me and said "We believe the Earth is only six thousand years old."

I said

fify

 

[Beau Vine 55012]

On 2/6/2021 at 11:36 PM, WhatTheBuck said:

So your son had already been to Mammoth Cave. 

Maybe the most underrated national park in the country.

[Guest Lobo]

yeah, if you ever find yourself in Nashville or Louisville for a conference/business/whatever...make the pretty 90-minute drive to Mammoth Cave for a half-day or full-day..you'll be glad you did.  From there, southwest-ward into Western North Carolina and the eastern 1/3rd of Tennessee.  There is so much underrated beauty in that whole area.  Great nature areas, wonderful towns, great fishing.  Relatively underdeveloped by modern standards, especially considering how much longer we've been there as opposed to wilderness areas out west.  along withs some areas of the Northwoods, it's the last slice of nature east of the Mississippi not completely overrun by man.  

Just watch your cornhole. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

Just now, Beau Vine said:

Maybe the most underrated national park in the country.

How so ?

[smuggs 9358]

7 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Maybe the most underrated  underground national park in the country.

fify.

[Nivek 17078]

41 minutes ago, Lobo said:

The dinosaurs' limited genetic diversity eventually led to their demise when they began following the insane lamentations of a special dinosaur called "Q" or Quaesitosaurus.  He lived in the late Late Cretaceous period.  He fed them the kind of deceitful lies that the herbivores so ravenously craved.  

As many of those species like to proudly declare, "Where we go one into the ground, we go all."  So they died and turned into oil.  But never forget the Quaesitosaurus' dying words, "The Cretaceous Shall Rise Again!  It's not about hate, it's about herbs!"  

I am uphauled at what they teached you.  I saw it in one of those picture learning books why Dinos disappeared.  Those idiots didn't know that menthols kill cancer.

[WhatTheBuck 28851]

9 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Maybe the most underrated national park in the country.

It’s amazing. Anyone road tripping through Kentucky should take the time to see it. 

[Viper 12159]

I wonder which flood story from the bible they go with, a single pair of animals or seven pairs of animals.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

5 minutes ago, Viper said:

I wonder which flood story from the bible they go with, a single pair of animals or seven pairs of animals.

The whole flood story, and the different (widely spread) cultures that have a story/myth/lore like that has always been an interesting thing to me.  Was there a single genesis, lots of coastal dwelling cultures throughout history that could have been affected by something water related ?  (not a 2 x 2, 40 day and night event of course).

[gyroprotagonist 2595]

is it weird that these places and Bible teachings in general sorta gloss over the main point of the story that God utterly destroyed all human life on the planet sans Noah and pals?  Were all the humans wicked?  maybe all the kids were complete little shits and deserved to drown, idk.  Shirley, there were pregnant mothers and their unborn babies were killed.  Were all these people who were judged and killed on Earth judged again at the pearly gates?  The biggest mass-murder event in the history of the world and most people are like "lol, look how the giraffes' heads are sticking out of the ark.  That's so cute."

[Brisketexan 105691]

28 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

The whole flood story, and the different (widely spread) cultures that have a story/myth/lore like that has always been an interesting thing to me.  Was there a single genesis, lots of coastal dwelling cultures throughout history that could have been affected by something water related ?  (not a 2 x 2, 40 day and night event of course).

See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sea_deluge_hypothesis

Still a developing hypothesis.  Consensus is building that it was a gradual rise, and didn't inundate as much land as originally thought, or as suddenly.  But still, it would have been significant enough to inundate and cause people to abandon settlements (there is some underwater evidence of this, but not much, as such settlements were small, and had few permanent structures 9,000 years ago).

Hell, there's some thought that the inundation of the Dogger Bank (and some related events due to big post-ice-age releases of freshwater lakes) around 6,500 years ago may be the source of the various flood epics.

Post-ice-age, water was doing some big-time shit, so it makes sense that there would be oral traditions of "holy shit, our people remember when that sea over yonder was land, man, that flood was a bitch."

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

Just now, Brisketexan said:

See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sea_deluge_hypothesis

Still a developing hypothesis.  Consensus is building that it was a gradual rise, and didn't inundate as much land as originally thought, or as suddenly.  But still, it would have been significant enough to inundate and cause people to abandon settlements (there is some underwater evidence of this, but not much, as such settlements were small, and had few permanent structures 9,000 years ago).

Hell, there's some thought that the inundation of the Dogger Bank (and some related events due to big post-ice-age releases of freshwater lakes) around 6,500 years ago may be the source of the various flood epics.

Post-ice-age, water was doing some big-time shit, so it makes sense that there would be oral traditions of "holy shit, our people remember when that sea over yonder was land, man, that flood was a bitch."

Thanks, yep I've seen much of this discussed in various places.

[Brisketexan 105691]

12 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Thanks, yep I've seen much of this discussed in various places.

I mean, if you don't get sucked into fundamentalist gobbldygook, it's actually kind of fascinating.  I love the idea that humans, as storytellers with great oral story traditions, may be telling stories of events that happened thousands of years before.....that's just cool.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

2 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

I mean, if you don't get sucked into fundamentalist gobbldygook, it's actually kind of fascinating.  I love the idea that humans, as storytellers with great oral story traditions, may be telling stories of events that happened thousands of years before.....that's just cool.

Pre history/ early recorded history has always been fascinating to me.  I think I remember reading about a North American Indian tribe w/ a flood lore.  

[Deej 77293]

15 hours ago, Nivek said:

We also know how well species do when they have limited genetic diversity.

[Asithappens 974]

1 hour ago, gyroprotagonist said:

is it weird that these places and Bible teachings in general sorta gloss over the main point of the story that God utterly destroyed all human life on the planet sans Noah and pals?  Were all the humans wicked?  maybe all the kids were complete little shits and deserved to drown, idk.  Shirley, there were pregnant mothers and their unborn babies were killed.  Were all these people who were judged and killed on Earth judged again at the pearly gates?  The biggest mass-murder event in the history of the world and most people are like "lol, look how the giraffes' heads are sticking out of the ark.  That's so cute."

God killed more people than did Satan (at least in the old testament). 

In fact, that god was a major dick. How many innocents/kids did he kill just because.... 

 

[Viper 12159]

51 minutes ago, Asithappens said:

God killed more people than did Satan (at least in the old testament). 

In fact, that god was a major dick. How many innocents/kids did he kill just because.... 

 

that's because our concept of Satan/the Devil was made up in the middle ages. There was no "Satan" in the OT, there was just one of YHWH's servants with the title the Adversary (HaSatan). 

[Guest Lobo]

This movie is gut-wrenching but loosely based on a true story.  If you can, skip ahead to the 1:10 mark, and listen to this brilliant lesson in God's fury by a rabbi believed to be a member of the 36 Hidden Nistarim:

 

[gyroprotagonist 2595]

1 hour ago, Asithappens said:

God killed more people than did Satan (at least in the old testament). 

In fact, that god was a major dick. How many innocents/kids did he kill just because.... 

 

well, Lot's wife was told not to turn around and gawk once already... you can't be spoiling those disobedient women by telling them twice.  Next thing you know they will be cutting the hair and crippling a great Jewish warrior who once killed a 1000 men with the jawbone of a donkey.

Granted, i grew up going to Church but have not been back in probably 10 years or so.  I actually really liked the church i went to willingly as an adult and it was truly was not a den of hating gays, keeping women in their places and blaming migrants for all the world's problems but I just started hating 'the church' abroad in general personified by Jeffress and his ilk.  But looking back, I should have been scared shitless of the OT God as a child.

As to the 4000 or 6000 yo Erff people.  In this day and age with the scientific methods available to spell out exactly how and when dinosaurs roamed the land it's just a pristine example of willful ignorance to persist in 'believing' that.  I mean, are there any ancient texts from Greek scholars when some of them started saying, "you know, as awesome as it sounds, I don't really think that Zeus ate his wife and then his son cracked his head open with an axe to let his daughter out of there fully grown and armed.  Maybe, just maybe lightning is a natural phenomenon"

[hayden_horn 11374]

3 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Sea_deluge_hypothesis

Still a developing hypothesis.  Consensus is building that it was a gradual rise, and didn't inundate as much land as originally thought, or as suddenly.  But still, it would have been significant enough to inundate and cause people to abandon settlements (there is some underwater evidence of this, but not much, as such settlements were small, and had few permanent structures 9,000 years ago).

Hell, there's some thought that the inundation of the Dogger Bank (and some related events due to big post-ice-age releases of freshwater lakes) around 6,500 years ago may be the source of the various flood epics.

Post-ice-age, water was doing some big-time shit, so it makes sense that there would be oral traditions of "holy shit, our people remember when that sea over yonder was land, man, that flood was a bitch."

 

2 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Pre history/ early recorded history has always been fascinating to me.  I think I remember reading about a North American Indian tribe w/ a flood lore.  

this is just my opinion, but it's based on the fact that nearly every major culture on the planet has a flood story. it is really pretty basic when you think about it. people needed to live close to water. usually that could be coastline or rivers. undeveloped rivers flood, sometimes for no discernible local reason. or sometimes because it won't stop raining in a locality. hell, we have a pretty robust (though crumbling) dam and drainage system here in central texas, and we've seen major flooding just in my shortish lifetime. imagine if we could not control the flow of the water with the dams. austin would washout at least once a decade.

it only takes one major event to create what i guess i call (though i don't claim to have invented the term) a massive cultural scar that reverberates through generations of oral and written tradition. i think early man sees flood, sees animals and people swept away, it must be because god is displeased, and they survive, but only because god chose them as opposed to the other people, and suddenly the animals return, so somebody must have saved them, etc. tell that tale over generations of embellishment, etc, and you get noah's ark. 

[Viper 12159]

11 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

well, Lot's wife was told not to turn around and gawk once already... you can't be spoiling those disobedient women by telling them twice.  Next thing you know they will be cutting the hair and crippling a great Jewish warrior who once killed a 1000 men with the jawbone of a donkey.

Granted, i grew up going to Church but have not been back in probably 10 years or so.  I actually really liked the church i went to willingly as an adult and it was truly was not a den of hating gays, keeping women in their places and blaming migrants for all the world's problems but I just started hating 'the church' abroad in general personified by Jeffress and his ilk.  But looking back, I should have been scared shitless of the OT God as a child.

As to the 4000 or 6000 yo Erff people.  In this day and age with the scientific methods available to spell out exactly how and when dinosaurs roamed the land it's just a pristine example of willful ignorance to persist in 'believing' that.  I mean, are there any ancient texts from Greek scholars when some of them started saying, "you know, as awesome as it sounds, I don't really think that Zeus ate his wife and then his son cracked his head open with an axe to let his daughter out of there fully grown and armed.  Maybe, just maybe lightning is a natural phenomenon"

Well you've also got "The Church" doing the same type of thing. Young Earth Creationism is a very recent belief that only goes back 60 or so years and is really only found in particular strains of American Evangelicals. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

17 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

well, Lot's wife was told not to turn around and gawk once already... you can't be spoiling those disobedient women by telling them twice.  Next thing you know they will be cutting the hair and crippling a great Jewish warrior who once killed a 1000 men with the jawbone of a donkey.

Granted, i grew up going to Church but have not been back in probably 10 years or so.  I actually really liked the church i went to willingly as an adult and it was truly was not a den of hating gays, keeping women in their places and blaming migrants for all the world's problems but I just started hating 'the church' abroad in general personified by Jeffress and his ilk.  But looking back, I should have been scared shitless of the OT God as a child.

As to the 4000 or 6000 yo Erff people.  In this day and age with the scientific methods available to spell out exactly how and when dinosaurs roamed the land it's just a pristine example of willful ignorance to persist in 'believing' that.  I mean, are there any ancient texts from Greek scholars when some of them started saying, "you know, as awesome as it sounds, I don't really think that Zeus ate his wife and then his son cracked his head open with an axe to let his daughter out of there fully grown and armed.  Maybe, just maybe lightning is a natural phenomenon"

Yep all that 6000 year old earth shit  and Jesus riding dinosaurs and such, it's stupid, but that  Zeus stuff, yeah that happened  that happened

[Brisketexan 105691]

4 minutes ago, Viper said:

Well you've also got "The Church" doing the same type of thing. Young Earth Creationism is a very recent belief that only goes back 60 or so years and is really only found in particular strains of American Evangelicals. 

Also, this.  Seriously, it isn't rooted in any long-term, educated theology.  In fact, it's CONTRARY to centuries of Christian and Jewish theology (remember, Genesis is theirs).

It's not just scientifically indefensible, it's theologically indefensible.

[gyroprotagonist 2595]

1 minute ago, Viper said:

Well you've also got "The Church" doing the same type of thing. Young Earth Creationism is a very recent belief that only goes back 60 or so years and is really only found in particular strains of American Evangelicals. 

yeah, i think we are saying the same thing.  I had no idea the trend was so recent, but these church leaders are pushing obviously false narratives to gain stupid followers.  In using the Bible as a buffet, how is someone parsing through the book and thinking, yeah, I am going to emphasize this date based on Abraham's genealogy back to Adam and double down in the face of established science.  

perusing the wikipedia of YEC brought the lulz

Quote

Between 1997 and 2005, a team of scientists at the Institute for Creation Research conducted an eight-year research project entitled RATE (Radioisotopes and the Age of The Earth) to assess the validity and accuracy of radiometric dating techniques. While they concluded that there was overwhelming evidence for over 500 million years' worth of radioactive decay, they claimed to have found other scientific evidence to prove a young earth. They therefore proposed that nuclear decay rates were accelerated by a factor of one billion during the Creation week and at the time of the Flood. However, when subjected to independent scrutiny by non-affiliated experts, their analyses were shown to be flawed

 

[Guest Lobo]

12 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Yep all that 6000 year old earth shit  and Jesus riding dinosaurs and such, it's stupid, but that  Zeus stuff, yeah that happened  that happened

There is a fine line between an organized faith standing the historical test of theology or being discarded to elementary school literature textbooks as mythology.  Noah's Ark will be there soon enough.  All that's left is the one simple thing all gods and their prophets ask of us...be kinder to one another.  Said 1000 times in a 1000 ways.  But what do we get out of that eternal and golden message, "Nope!  Build a mock-up of a fake boat and hate the gays!"  I'm pretty sure that's what happened to the Greek Gods.  All kinds of cautionary tales about not being too prideful, not being an asshole, being true to your loved ones.  But then somebody came along and said, "Nope, fuck that.  Our Gods are all about space lasers and bleach!"  

[Beau Vine 55012]

28 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Also, this.  Seriously, it isn't rooted in any long-term, educated theology.  In fact, it's CONTRARY to centuries of Christian and Jewish theology (remember, Genesis is theirs).

It's not just scientifically indefensible, it's theologically indefensible.

WUR U THEIR?

[Brisketexan 105691]

13 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

WUR U THEIR?

I mean, no.....I'm old, but I ain't Armybrat old.  Shit, Armybrat's sinful ways were part of the reason that Soddom and Gommorah got God's wrecking ball, man.  Still, love to hear his cool stories.  Lot's wife didn't look back in longing for the cities.....she had a thing for a certain fella who posts upside-down pictures.

[Willfully Horn 8104]

4 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

The whole flood story, and the different (widely spread) cultures that have a story/myth/lore like that has always been an interesting thing to me.  Was there a single genesis, lots of coastal dwelling cultures throughout history that could have been affected by something water related ?  (not a 2 x 2, 40 day and night event of course).

“Footprints of the God’s” was an interesting read. Hancock’s main theory is that megalith construction is evidence of an incredibly advanced, and all but lost, civilization.

He goes on to say that sudden tectonic shifts might have been the effective end of that civilization, wiping out the vast majority of inhabitants, who overwhelmingly lived close to the oceans (assuming they lived as we do.) The flooding and volcanic activity that goes along with such shifts could explain the fire and flood myths of those who survived.

Interesting hypothesis, at the least.

[Willfully Horn 8104]

Gomorrah 

[Armybrat 41037]

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

4 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Pre history/ early recorded history has always been fascinating to me.  I think I remember reading about a North American Indian tribe w/ a flood lore.  

There's relatively recent flood lore about the formation of lakes Caddo and Reelfoot, in Tennessee, which formed after the New Madrid earthquakes of 1811-12 caused the Mississippi to flow backwards. 

Quote

According to legend, the Reelfoot River, which gave its name to the lake, is said to be named for an Indian chief who had a deformed foot and was nicknamed "Reelfoot" by settlers in the early 19th century. A Chickasaw legend states that the name originated from a prince of a Chickasaw tribe inhabiting the present West Tennessee, who was born with a deformed foot and walked with a rolling motion, so was nicknamed Kolopin, meaning Reelfoot. When he became chief, Reelfoot determined to marry a Choctaw princess, but her father would not permit it. The Great Spirit warned Reelfoot that if he attempted to kidnap the maiden, his village and his people would be destroyed. Reelfoot disobeyed the Spirit, and seized the princess by force and carried her to Chickasaw territory, where he arranged a marriage ceremony.

In the middle of the ceremony, the Great Spirit stamped his foot in anger, causing the earth to quake, and the Father of the Waters raised the Mississippi River over its banks, inundating Reelfoot's homeland. The water flowed into the imprint left by the Spirit's foot, forming a beautiful lake, beneath which Reelfoot, his bride, and his people lie buried.^[16] Though the legend is about the Chickasaw and Choctaw tribes that once inhabited the area, these tribes left around the early 14th century, reserving this area as hunting grounds.

The Caddo people say that lake was also formed by the same quakes, but White people say it was formed by a logjam on the Red River called the Great Raft. I kinda think the Caddo might know what was up. They were living there before and after the lake was formed. 

[WhatTheBuck 28851]

2 hours ago, Lobo said:

This movie is gut-wrenching but loosely based on a true story.  If you can, skip ahead to the 1:10 mark, and listen to this brilliant lesson in God's fury by a rabbi believed to be a member of the 36 Hidden Nistarim:

 

 

[Guest Lobo]

Yeah, that's what I said dude.   

[Mach 1 1677]

We went to Rome a few years ago and visited the Sistine Chapel.  One of the ceiling panels was "The Drunkenness of Noah."  I guess after getting off the Ark his first order of business was planting a vineyard and getting plastered.  Makes sense.

Anyway the panel shows him laying on the ground, shitfaced, and without any clothes.  His sons are around him, embarrassed and laughing at him.

For some reason I had a strange sense of kinship with him.

[WhatTheBuck 28851]

27 minutes ago, Mach 1 said:

We went to Rome a few years ago and visited the Sistine Chapel.  One of the ceiling panels was "The Drunkenness of Noah."  I guess after getting off the Ark his first order of business was planting a vineyard and getting plastered.  Makes sense.

Anyway the panel shows him laying on the ground, shitfaced, and without any clothes.  His sons are around him, embarrassed and laughing at him.

For some reason I had a strange sense of kinship with him.

In the case of Lot he’d be naked, shitfaced, and getting fucked by his daughters. 

Edited February 8, 2021 by WhatTheBuck

[Sbbruin 21938]

27 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

In the case of Lot he’d be naked, shitfaced, and getting fucked by his daughters. 

[PRONG HORN 3165]

7 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

The whole flood story, and the different (widely spread) cultures that have a story/myth/lore like that has always been an interesting thing to me.  Was there a single genesis, lots of coastal dwelling cultures throughout history that could have been affected by something water related ?  (not a 2 x 2, 40 day and night event of course).

 

Whatever caused this is what the great flood was.  

Younger Dryas

[RDCanecutter 26570]

1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

In the case of Lot he’d be naked, shitfaced, and getting fucked by his daughters. 

But was there slap bass soundtrack?

I suspect there was.