Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[Fudge Nuggets 19225]

Yesterday my shitty internet was out for most of the day so I went through my bit torrent folder to find something to watch.  Found an unwatched documentary called "Murderball" about quadriplegic rugby.  The show was pretty freaking awesome and those guys are flat out maniacs - and all around assholes.

But what gave me a "woah" moment was when they were showing the history of one of the main characters and how he became paralyzed.  Apparently he was involved in a fight with his best friend in high school.  The name of that high school you ask, "Marjory Stoneman Douglas". 

[HornOnTheBayou 8946]

Netflix has done a re-boot of The Magic School Bus. The new Ms. Frizzle is smoking hot. Might be my favorite cartoon MILF since The Incredibles.

[Vic Mackey 47157]

Netflix has done a re-boot of The Magic School Bus. The new Ms. Frizzle is smoking hot. Might be my favorite cartoon MILF since The Incredibles.

Did you jerk off to her?

[kopp0e 1135]

When you want to win a debate quickly, just mention this to the person who is loud & obnoxious...

[kopp0e 1135]

[kopp0e 1135]

In Russia, recess is smoke break...

[kopp0e 1135]

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

2 hours ago, kopp0e said:

In what universe does this NOT "warrant its own thread"?

Edited April 17, 2018 by Walden Ponderer

[mr. sunshine 2833]

I sometimes think other drivers really admire my driving. They just see how I handle my truck and it instills confidence. If they have a choice of lanes, they’ll follow me. It has nothing to do with their intended destination 

[sachick 1189]

Anyone who reheats Curry in the office and then proceeds to eat it at there cubicle should be fired.

['stache 21874]

I ate a bag of beet chips yesterday for lunch and today it looks like my asshole is bleeding pretty profusely.  I assume it's the beets.  Either that or I'll be found dead tonight on the toilet.  Like Elvis.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 minute ago, 'stache said:

I ate a bag of beet chips yesterday for lunch and today it looks like my asshole is bleeding pretty profusely.  I assume it's the beets.  Either that or I'll be found dead tonight on the toilet.  Like Elvis.

[sachick 1189]

45 minutes ago, sachick said:

Anyone who reheats Curry in the office and then proceeds to eat it at there cubicle should be fired.

THEIR!! I promise I know English.

[Jameslaw121 4448]

Anyone else on Friday just say fuck it. And take a two hour lunch at the all you can eat Mexican Place and drink beer before going back to work?

[GhostRider 169]

34 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Anyone else on Friday just say fuck it. And take a two hour lunch at the all you can eat Mexican Place and drink beer before going back to work?

Why limit that to just Fridays?

[phdhorn 6224]

Princess Kate-Whatever-The -Fuck-Good-Looking-But-No-Tits-Still-Would dropped her third puppy.  Why does anyone outside of Britain give a flying fuck?

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

On 4/20/2018 at 2:46 PM, sachick said:

THEIR!! I promise I know English.

I doubt it. The English are obsessed with eating curry.

[Steel Shank 9432]

If I married Donna Shalala my name could be Steel Shank Shalala.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

2 minutes ago, Steel Shank said:

If I married Donna Shalala my name could be Steel Shank Shalala.

And if you ran a pumping station in the Midwest while remixing an aggy standard, you could be Steel Shank Shalala from Ogalalla, singing Tra La La.

[Steel Shank 9432]

Tis true.

[RPM 26355]

If you were knighted, moved to the South Sandwich Islands, had a son and named him Shank, Jr. then you would be Sir Steel Shank Shalala, Sr. of South Sandwich.

[Dolemite 143]

A guy I know went over to check on his parent's dog to feed it, take it outside etc while they were gone for a couple of days. 

They left the robot vacuum cleaner on.

Big Lab took a shit on the hardwood floor and, well, in case you ever wondered, those robot vacuums do one hell of a shit shine. 

 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

If ever there was "shit on blast" that would be it.

[Dolemite 143]

I was at the Publix today. The one I go too always asks if you want to contribute to the march of dimes, or whatever charity they are in to at the time. 

I was behind a lady being cashed out. Cashier finished.

Cashier: With a sweet smile goes; Would you like to contribute to the march of dimes??

Lady: Ah, this is my husband's credit card and I  can't put anything extra on it

Cashier: With a disgusting look says: What the hell are you married to?

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 26, 2018 by Dolemite

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

That reminds me. I need to post in the rage thread about how every financial interaction has now turned into an attempt to shake me down for your charity.

[GSU&UT 1798]

I HATED being required to ask every single goddam customer if they wanted to donate when I worked at Bi-Lo.

"Hi random stranger, would you like to donate to this charity? I'm sure they paying my company so that I'm being forced to ask you this lest I risk being disciplined"

[Bat Guano 359]

90% of everything is shit.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

22 minutes ago, Bat Guano said:

90% of everything is shit.

Unless you are Kevin Morgan. Then it's 100%.

[Moby Ric 2058]

On 4/20/2018 at 2:01 PM, sachick said:

Anyone who reheats Curry in the office and then proceeds to eat it at there cubicle should be fired.

That and fish.  They should be drug out to the parking lot and get bitch slapped by everyone in the office.

Edited April 27, 2018 by Moby Ric

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

I think I'm going to go reheat some curried fish...

[HornsOverIthaca 2335]

I like big butts, but I will lie about it.

[CycleTex87 2981]

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, Gonna grab some afternoon delight

/RonBurgandy

 

[Prepuce of Doom 21104]

Rounders isn't a very good movie after all. 

[WhatTheBuck 28798]

<--  The Unpopular Opinions Thread is that way. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21104]

Have you watched it recently? 

There was a time in my life when I thought Krull was a good movie too, but you're only 7 once. 

Edited April 28, 2018 by Prepuce of Doom

[mr. sunshine 2833]

12 hours ago, CycleTex87 said:

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, Gonna grab some afternoon delight

/RonBurgandy

 

My 8th grade art teacher told the class to do projects based on Afternoon Delight.  She didn't know what the song was about.  Naturally, she was surprised by the submissions

[WhatTheBuck 28798]

3 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Have you watched it recently? 

Recently enough. 

[workswithseed 2111]

On 4/13/2018 at 4:27 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Practically every weed that grows in my yard is edible. Most of them taste better than lettuce in any of the dishes in which I'd normally use lettuce.

I think you would like EatTheWeeds channel on YouTube.

[Doc Holliday 199]

On ‎4‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 9:59 AM, kopp0e said:

This will always make me laugh, cry, and yes, he was boss.

[kopp0e 1135]

Well, it sounds like his wife was a breed of some variety of female dog...

[Steel Shank 9432]

I didn't know he was married.

[GoPokes83 2240]

Whenever I’m in the 20 items or less checkout I’m always counting how many items the people in front of me have in their basket. 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, GoPokes83 said:

Whenever I’m in the 20 items or less checkout I’m always counting how many items the people in front of me have in their basket. 

Fewer. 

[Chuychanga 133]

Guys who bitch about their wives turning them down for “sexy time” need to understand that their wife probably just wants them to be a man and pound her until she can’t walk  instead of trying to be cute with shit like “sexy time.”

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

How come English doesn't have a word for when two streams join together to make a river?  In Scots-Gaelic that's called a "struan". The streams themselves are called "tributaries" but... we don't have a word for the part where they actually join together.

[skipperj 377]

You mean like confluence?

[Steel Shank 9432]

^ ice cold!!

[GSU&UT 1798]

When I have to take a huge dump, it is absolutely impossible for me to not contort my face in relief.

[Moby Ric 2058]

Why is my dog eating its own shit?   It is grossing me the Hell out.

[NWBuck 8587]

4 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Why is my dog eating its own shit?   It is grossing me the Hell out.

Could be worse. Could be eating yours.