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Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread


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Posted

Yesterday my shitty internet was out for most of the day so I went through my bit torrent folder to find something to watch.  Found an unwatched documentary called "Murderball" about quadriplegic rugby.  The show was pretty freaking awesome and those guys are flat out maniacs - and all around assholes.

But what gave me a "woah" moment was when they were showing the history of one of the main characters and how he became paralyzed.  Apparently he was involved in a fight with his best friend in high school.  The name of that high school you ask, "Marjory Stoneman Douglas". 

Posted

I sometimes think other drivers really admire my driving. They just see how I handle my truck and it instills confidence. If they have a choice of lanes, they’ll follow me. It has nothing to do with their intended destination 

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Posted

I ate a bag of beet chips yesterday for lunch and today it looks like my asshole is bleeding pretty profusely.  I assume it's the beets.  Either that or I'll be found dead tonight on the toilet.  Like Elvis.

Posted
1 minute ago, 'stache said:

I ate a bag of beet chips yesterday for lunch and today it looks like my asshole is bleeding pretty profusely.  I assume it's the beets.  Either that or I'll be found dead tonight on the toilet.  Like Elvis.

a1.jpg

Posted
45 minutes ago, sachick said:

Anyone who reheats Curry in the office and then proceeds to eat it at there cubicle should be fired.

THEIR!! I promise I know English.

  • Haha 1
Posted
34 minutes ago, Jameslaw121 said:

Anyone else on Friday just say fuck it. And take a two hour lunch at the all you can eat Mexican Place and drink beer before going back to work?

Why limit that to just Fridays?

Posted
2 minutes ago, Steel Shank said:

If I married Donna Shalala my name could be Steel Shank Shalala.

And if you ran a pumping station in the Midwest while remixing an aggy standard, you could be Steel Shank Shalala from Ogalalla, singing Tra La La.

Posted

If you were knighted, moved to the South Sandwich Islands, had a son and named him Shank, Jr. then you would be Sir Steel Shank Shalala, Sr. of South Sandwich.

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  • Haha 1
Posted

A guy I know went over to check on his parent's dog to feed it, take it outside etc while they were gone for a couple of days. 

They left the robot vacuum cleaner on.

Big Lab took a shit on the hardwood floor and, well, in case you ever wondered, those robot vacuums do one hell of a shit shine. 

 

  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)

I was at the Publix today. The one I go too always asks if you want to contribute to the march of dimes, or whatever charity they are in to at the time. 

I was behind a lady being cashed out. Cashier finished.

Cashier: With a sweet smile goes; Would you like to contribute to the march of dimes??

Lady: Ah, this is my husband's credit card and I  can't put anything extra on it

Cashier: With a disgusting look says: What the hell are you married to?

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Dolemite
Posted

I HATED being required to ask every single goddam customer if they wanted to donate when I worked at Bi-Lo.

"Hi random stranger, would you like to donate to this charity? I'm sure they paying my company so that I'm being forced to ask you this lest I risk being disciplined"

Posted (edited)
On 4/20/2018 at 2:01 PM, sachick said:

Anyone who reheats Curry in the office and then proceeds to eat it at there cubicle should be fired.

That and fish.  They should be drug out to the parking lot and get bitch slapped by everyone in the office.

Edited by Moby Ric
Posted
12 hours ago, CycleTex87 said:

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight, Gonna grab some afternoon delight

/RonBurgandy

 

My 8th grade art teacher told the class to do projects based on Afternoon Delight.  She didn't know what the song was about.  Naturally, she was surprised by the submissions

Posted
On 4/13/2018 at 4:27 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Practically every weed that grows in my yard is edible. Most of them taste better than lettuce in any of the dishes in which I'd normally use lettuce.

I think you would like EatTheWeeds channel on YouTube.

Posted

Guys who bitch about their wives turning them down for “sexy time” need to understand that their wife probably just wants them to be a man and pound her until she can’t walk  instead of trying to be cute with shit like “sexy time.”

  • Like 1
Posted

How come English doesn't have a word for when two streams join together to make a river?  In Scots-Gaelic that's called a "struan". The streams themselves are called "tributaries" but... we don't have a word for the part where they actually join together.

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