Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

My four year old is on a wizard of oz kick, and this has always bugged me my whole life rewatching it 6 times a week.. the lion when he jumps out the window of oz shouldve died or sustained major injuries. What a poor decision not knowing how high up he was but the very next scene seemed unharmed

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

Dp..

 

 

[NWBuck 8568]

15 hours ago, Buffsoldier said:

4) Trash

He said "dating", so I think it was covered

[Helobious 9454]

Edwin Encarnacion can go fuck himself.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

I was thinking this evening about how weird it is that David Hasselhof spent the first half of his career being famous for one vapid role, and the second half famous for a second vapid role, and I was wondering whether younger folk were even aware of Knight Rider, or if they only know him from Baywatch.

So, I asked my daughter, "What do you think of when you think of David Hasselhof?"

"Who?" (quickly Googling...)

"Oh, you mean that fat Will Ferrell look-alike who was in Dodgeball."

[Underdog 28654]

Have recently discovered that if you apply a thin coat of Vaseline around your asshole the turds come out easy peasy. 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

5 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Have recently discovered that if you apply a thin coat of Vaseline around your asshole the turds come out easy peasy. 

[Incredulity 11675]

40 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Have recently discovered that if you apply a thin coat of Vaseline around your asshole the turds come out easy peasy. 

does it help with the shower wafflestomp though?

[Kennythetiger 9386]

Would that not make a huge mess in your underwear?  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

I guess we'll be seeing you in the shart thread any day now

[Moby Ric 2058]

17 hours ago, Underdog said:

Have recently discovered that if you apply a thin coat of Vaseline around your asshole the turds come out easy peasy. 

Is this some sort of prison pinterest thing?

[gecko 1104]

I can literally create inflight turbulence by getting out of my seat to go pee....

[Underdog 28654]

20 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

 

20 hours ago, Incredulity said:

does it help with the shower wafflestomp though?

 

19 hours ago, Kennythetiger said:

Would that not make a huge mess in your underwear?  

 

19 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I guess we'll be seeing you in the shart thread any day now

 

3 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Is this some sort of prison pinterest thing?

You guys are so silly.  My proctologist told me my asshole's tighter than Ft. Knox.  

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 minute ago, Underdog said:

You guys are so silly.  My proctologist told me my asshole's tighter than Ft. Knox.  

[Moby Ric 2058]

2 minutes ago, Underdog said:

 

 

 

 

You guys are so silly.  My proctologist told me my asshole's tighter than Ft. Knox.  

You just opened yourself up to a whole new world .

[gecko 1104]

I was somewhere around 50 years old before I knew is was "chest of drawers" and not "chester drawers".

[Underdog 28654]

Wut?  Since when? 

[Scheiss Meister 8408]

Unloading the dishwasher tonight I was reminded of an observation from a wise man I know: At any given time, one third of the world's available fresh water is on top of the dishes in all the dishwashers around the globe.

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20400]

If you eat at a Taco Bell in Mexico are you eating authentic Mexican food?

[MNLonghornFUKM 8817]

You guys are so silly.  My proctologist told me my asshole's tighter than Ft. Knox.  

Was that before or after he came?

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Why would a woman go on a first date with someone wearing a dress and no panties?  She's a redhead, so maybe that explains it.

[tbone_ 14125]

Pics or it didn’t happen.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

21 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Why would a woman go on a first date with someone wearing a dress and no panties?  She's a redhead, so maybe that explains it.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

I was kind of hoping for that, but she pretty much ruined that when she got blasted, forgot where she parked her car, and then passed out in my car.

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

That raises a natural and uncomfortable question about how you discovered that she wasn't wearing any underwear... 

[Guest Lobo]

and by the way, what does he mean by "she got blasted"    'cause with the no underwear thing..the mind wanders.  Seems mindless, but it does...

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

11 hours ago, Horn Under a Bad Sign said:

If you eat at a Taco Bell in Mexico are you eating authentic Mexican food?

No, but if you steal a bag of Taco Bell from a local, you are eating an authentic Mexican's food.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

After she passed out in my car I had no idea where her car was. So being the gentleman that I am. I opted not to just dump her in the parking lot and drive off. Instead I brought her to my house, carried her inside, and put her in my bed. Since she had a nice dress on, I undressed her and hung her dress up so it wouldn’t get wrinkled. That’s when I discovered that she wasn’t wearing any panties. Also, being the gentleman that I am, I slept on the couch.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

4 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Why would a woman go on a first date with someone wearing a dress and no panties?  She's a redhead, so maybe that explains it.

How is she supposed to know before agreeing to the date that the guy is going to be wearing a dress with no panties?

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

It's not Halloween season until somebody posts Susan Tyrell on Facebook.

 

[tbone_ 14125]

After she passed out in my car I had no idea where her car was. So being the gentleman that I am. I opted not to just dump her in the parking lot and drive off. Instead I brought her to my house, carried her inside, and put her in my bed. Since she had a nice dress on, I undressed her and hung her dress up so it wouldn’t get wrinkled. That’s when I discovered that she wasn’t wearing any panties. Also, being the gentleman that I am, I slept on the couch.

Sounds like you are set up pretty good for round 2.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Sounds like you are set up pretty good for round 2.

Yeah, she’s very petite, attractive, and before she got drunk and passed out seemed pretty fun. Her only down side is she’s 15 years younger than me. That puts her on the older side of my dates. It was kind of a pain getting up the next morning and taking to find her car though.

[tbone_ 14125]

Her only down side is she’s 15 years younger than me. That puts her on the older side of my dates.

Damn straight.

[Prepuce of Doom 21074]

I wish I had been that mature at age 30.

Edited October 19, 2019 by Prepuce of Doom

['stache 21816]

Did she go to Baylor? If so she was fair game, drinking alcohol and dressing like that and all.

[burntorangebongos 10713]

She didn't want panty lines. Wonder why she got blasted? Could be she is always a heavy drinker or she didn't eat much and the alcohol went straight to her head. Either way, she is probably too embarrassed to go out with you again IF she is a decent sort. 

[ABSR 5315]

2 hours ago, burntorangebongos said:

She didn't want panty lines. Wonder why she got blasted? Could be she is always a heavy drinker or she didn't eat much and the alcohol went straight to her head. Either way, she is probably too embarrassed to go out with you again IF she is a decent sort. 

If she’s the decent sort he doesn’t want to go out with her again.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Decent women very rarely go out with me anyway

[tbone_ 14125]

How decent can she be if she gets blackout drunk in a dress while commando?

She sounds perfect.

[LABEVO 928]

Texas football continues to under perform consistent with our history

[troph 24806]

Texas football continues to under perform consistent with our history

100% agree.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

If you don't know what the hell you're looking at, anything could be a UFO.

[Wiler77 1566]

On 10/19/2019 at 6:15 PM, tbone_ said:

How decent can she be if she gets blackout drunk in a dress while commando?

On a first date.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, Walden Ponderer said:

If you don't know what the hell you're looking at, anything could be a UFO.

Uranus?

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

2 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Uranus?

I seriously doubt I'm ever gonna look up in the sky and see my own ass. Not without some pretty damned strong ayahuasca.

[Wally Fairway 5550]

I was gonna post this in NSAA, but that is a more limited and even more depraved audience.
Someone in my twitter stream liked this....and here it is for surly (can't believe Fitbump isn't involved in this attention whoring)

 

[Wally Fairway 5550]

On 10/18/2019 at 2:55 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Why would a woman go on a first date with someone wearing a dress and no panties?  She's a redhead, so maybe that explains it.

 

On 10/18/2019 at 3:26 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I was kind of hoping for that, but she pretty much ruined that when she got blasted, forgot where she parked her car, and then passed out in my car.

 

On 10/18/2019 at 7:15 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

After she passed out in my car I had no idea where her car was. So being the gentleman that I am. I opted not to just dump her in the parking lot and drive off. Instead I brought her to my house, carried her inside, and put her in my bed. Since she had a nice dress on, I undressed her and hung her dress up so it wouldn’t get wrinkled. That’s when I discovered that she wasn’t wearing any panties. Also, being the gentleman that I am, I slept on the couch.

 

On 10/18/2019 at 9:16 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Yeah, she’s very petite, attractive, and before she got drunk and passed out seemed pretty fun. Her only down side is she’s 15 years younger than me. That puts her on the older side of my dates. It was kind of a pain getting up the next morning and taking to find her car though.

 

On 10/19/2019 at 7:04 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Decent women very rarely go out with me anyway

I think I speak for surly posters, and we are waiting for this to continue in NSAA; as those photos are not showing up for any of us in this thread.

Petite redhead you say......go on.....

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

It's a sign of the effect surly has had on me that I actually considered, for about one second, taking a picture when I put her to bed.  Anyway,  I texted her Sunday and asked her if she was interested in going out again.  She responded that she figured she would never hear from me again, but would love to make it up to me.  So maybe this will end up in NSAA.

Edited October 21, 2019 by NeverMarryAStripper

[tbone_ 14125]

See I told you you were set up perfectly.

And she knew damn well you would call.

[ztejas 43454]

On 10/18/2019 at 6:16 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

How is she supposed to know before agreeing to the date that the guy is going to be wearing a dress with no panties?