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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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GSU&UT

GSU&UT 1,798

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29 minutes ago, GringoSalado said:

Could you buy a Google Home and an Amazon Echo, put them alone in a room together, and get them each to fool the other into thinking they were human?

A guy did this with two Google Home speakers and streamed it on Twitch, it was pretty surreal.

 

http://nymag.com/selectall/2017/01/two-google-homes-are-arguing-about-whether-theyre-human.html

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GoPokes83

GoPokes83 2,240

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I really want to go buy some flex seal products and just glue and tape a bunch of shit together to see if it is as good as advertised.

I bought some Flex Seal spray for a project. Shit got everywhere and it takes paint thinner or more to get it off, including your skin.
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markstanco

markstanco 12,570

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I really want to go buy some flex seal products and just glue and tape a bunch of shit together to see if it is as good as advertised.
The tape is well made, I bought a roll. But it's so damn expensive I wont use it. It's slightly better than actual duct tape (not wal mart "duck" tape)
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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2,809

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My sister and her boyfriend and my nephews are big pizza lovers. Hell I guess everyone in my family is. They love trying places all over town, and I have pretty much tried all of the places around town. My son's favorite place is a wood fired place about 20 minutes northeast of here, and they all live about 35 minutes west of where we live. But we've been telling them about it and they were determined to try it. 

It just so happened today I had my son up near there for a cub scout activity (BB gun shooting!) so I floated the idea to my sister and her BF of meeting us there if they weren't doing shit today. It was on. 

I got their first with my kids and we sat in the corner to the left when you walk in the front door. This place is tiny. The dining room might be 400 sq ft and have 30 seats. The entire building is probably < 1000 sq ft and the parking lot probably has 15 spaces. 

She texts me that she's five minutes out when we're already sitting there and for some reason I got the inkling to fuck with her considering that they had never been there and were totally unfamiliar with the surroundings. I texted her this: 

Quote

Ok. We are here. When you walk in go all the way to the back, then through the gate into the blue room. There is a small one with a waterfall. Just past there go into the courtyard and we are out there.

Small pond

So she responds back:

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Are you outside ?

It was probably below 50 today, and realizing this might throw them off I write back:

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Yes but it's covered and there's a fire pit. You'll see.

Quote

Ok. Cool. 5 minutes. 

So we can see them walk up from the front windows. They walk in and immediately make a beeline (10 steps) to the back hallway  where the bathrooms are. The look on their faces is of pure confusion. My sister spins around and looks at her bf. He spins around and looks around and sees us. We wave and they are so supremely and utterly confused. They are pointing towards the back like should we be getting up and going towards the covered patio where your seats are. xD

I am laughing by this point and explain to them that I was fucking with them. Apparently they got into a back and forth in the car because she relayed to him that we were "sitting outside" and he was like "We're sitting outside? That's absurd, it's freezing." and she reassured him "Don't worry, there's a fire pit." xDxD

Not sure how they didn't figure it out in the parking lot but I got a real kick out of this. 

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elfenix

elfenix 34,221

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If you go by visitors compared to natives, Andorra is the world's 2nd most visited country. 2.36 million tourists visited in 2014, vs a population of 70k. The top "country" is Vatican City, and rounding out the top five are Macao, BVI, and Turks and Caicos. I get the appeal of those others, but why Andorra? Just to say you've been there?

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DougO

DougO 5,243

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When I see one of these interview shows where they pretend to keep talking after the mic cuts off and credits roll, I am really curious about what they are saying. Are they just faking it? Are they talking about the show they just did, maybe talking to the crew off the set, perhaps saying rude things on purpose because they know they won't be heard, or was there another great question/response that the viewer got screwed out of?

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NWBuck

NWBuck 8,552

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1 hour ago, DougO said:

When I see one of these interview shows where they pretend to keep talking after the mic cuts off and credits roll, I am really curious about what they are saying. Are they just faking it? Are they talking about the show they just did, maybe talking to the crew off the set, perhaps saying rude things on purpose because they know they won't be heard, or was there another great question/response that the viewer got screwed out of?

 

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Bat Guano

Bat Guano 359

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UFCU branch downtown is 'paper-free,' as the teller or whatever sitting at a desk to help people who don't want to use a machine proudly informed me. No deposit slips, no nothin'.  I went in to make a deposit and pay off a loan, with the loan amount written on a piece of paper. I'd gotten the amount online, but of course there was a difference between that amount and the actual payoff amount, because of interest that hadn't appeared yet. So she asked if she could write on my slip of paper the amount off her computer, so she could enter it on the other screen. Being the asshole that I am, I had to point out, well, that paper-free thing doesn't always work, does it? She started muttering something about how someone had stolen her Post-It notes or something. I stuck her pen in my shirt pocket and walked out with it, to teach her a lesson.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28,772

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10 hours ago, Bat Guano said:

Every time you walk into a bathroom and get a good whiff of someone's shit-stink, you're literally inhaling thousands of molecules that came out of that person's ass just moments before.

I was in a Philosophy class on Aesthetics and the professor said she didn't know how we smell things. I explained to her that we smell things because of receptors in our nose detecting molecules of compounds emanating from the item we're smelling. Similar to how taste works and the two senses are closely connected.

She poo-poo'd me (pun intended). After confessing her ignorance, she openly rejected an explanation for the phenomenon. That's always pissed me off. I learned some things in that class but not from her. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Speaking of Jordans, maybe it's because I live in Texas now...but you don't hear about kids killing other kids over expensive basketball shoes.  Maybe it was just the news reporting on it, but it  seemed so much more commonplace back in the 90's than it does today.  

At my high school, certain kids would get 'wanded' before school started because they were on some kinda list of juvy offenders or whatever.  But it never occurred to us that a school shooting might take place even though they were searching for weapons.  There was a much more palpable fear that they'd stab you though for your Bo Jackson cross-trainers.  

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