Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[After irth 1245]

On 1/4/2020 at 9:13 PM, closetohumping said:

 

 

ok, I was wrong, but here's the pic anyway

Sure. I’ll allow it. Could definitely have fun with those puppies. 

[Buffsoldier 1895]

3 hours ago, After irth said:

Sure. I’ll allow it. Could definitely have fun with those puppies dingoes. 

Fixed.

[Underdog 28823]

Would spear it like a stingray. 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

5 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Would spear it like a stingray. 

[closetohumping 17492]

1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Would spear it like a stingray. 

I liked.  But also hated.  Damn

[closetohumping 17492]

She’s kind of built like cort jacquess

[closetohumping 17492]

Two things in life to not go cheap on:

 

condoms

 

 

cat litter

[Underdog 28823]

Shoes. 

[StruggleBus 3922]

Toilet paper

[Buffsoldier 1895]

Divorce Lawyers.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

13 minutes ago, Buffsoldier said:

Divorce Lawyers.

[closetohumping 17492]

1 hour ago, Buffsoldier said:

Divorce Lawyers.

Mexican escort girls?

 

 

 

 

 

unrelated random thought well I guess it could be related:

 

there’s a fourth Jonas brother and apparently he’s a huge loser

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

To the mother fucker who dropped your dog in our neighborhood on Christmas day. We took her to the vet and she has a severe case of heartworms. I assume that's why you dropped her off. We'll foster her and treat her & work with our vet to save her life and get her placed in a loving home.

My hope is that if you ever get too sick to take care of yourself, someone dumps your ass in a ditch. Burn in hell, motherfucker. 

 

Thanks for letting me vent, you surly fuckers.

[PilotsError 2325]

I may have reached that level of maturity where a woman's kindness is more erotic than anything physical.  Ugh.

[tbone_ 14211]

So you are saying you want the sandwich first now?

[Underdog 28823]

Whatever became of Sanaa Lathan?  Fine looking woman. 

[El Diablo 4232]

Over the course of a week I'll start cobbling together a shopping list for the Saturday run to HEB. First 3 things this week were butter, hand lotion and olive oil. Not sure what that means.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

6 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Over the course of a week I'll start cobbling together a shopping list for the Saturday run to HEB. First 3 things this week were butter, hand lotion and olive oil. Not sure what that means.

Lube is critical.

[ABSR 5327]

41 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Over the course of a week I'll start cobbling together a shopping list for the Saturday run to HEB. First 3 things this week were butter, hand lotion and olive oil. Not sure what that means.

I would guess it means you have very supple hands....and likely delicious smelling nether regions.

[mulletpelini 5216]

Have you ever noticed the sound of chili hitting the bowl sounds exactly the same 3-5 hours later

[Js1 85651]

19 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Lube is critical.

Anything is lube if you’re brave enough 

['stache 21895]

9 minutes ago, Js1 said:

Anything is lube if you’re brave enough 

Ole Abe Lincoln was full of deep wisdom.

[Prepuce of Doom 21112]

1 minute ago, 'stache said:

Ole Abe Lincoln was full of deep wisdom.

Don't misquote the man. 

The actual quote is that "Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough." 

[closetohumping 17492]

On 1/7/2020 at 1:24 PM, Buffsoldier said:

Divorce Lawyers.

Mexican escort girls?

 

 

 

 

 

unrelated random thought well I guess it could be related:

 

there’s a fourth Jonas brother and apparently he’s a huge loser

 

you know that two truths and a lie game?   I once played it but did two lies.  Confused myself.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

I keep trying to be friendly to the people behind the sushi counter at HEB but you can only say "hola, buenos dias, comos estas?" and get a blank stare in return so many times before you give up

like, what, am I pronouncing ALL of it wrong, I doubt it

[Prepuce of Doom 21112]

Maybe they speak Japanese, you racist! 

[Incredulity 11684]

1 minute ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Maybe they speak Japanese, you racist! 

or Korean

or Mandarin Chinese 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

3 minutes ago, Incredulity said:

or Korean

or Mandarin Chinese 

Or Comanche Indian. 

 

[Incredulity 11684]

5 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Or Comanche Indian. 

 

What kind of name is Poon, anyway?

[ChiTownDoc 21183]

Does Parliament know this thread exists?  Honest question...

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

So, I was standing in line at the North Carolina DMV this morning, getting new license plates, and I was in line behind a French woman who was having a hard time picking between her two choices. North Carolina has two state mottos, you see:  "First in freedom" because in 1775, the NC legislature authorized their delegation to the Continental Congress to advocate for independence from Great Britain, making them the first colony to do so, and "First in flight" because of the Wright brothers' escapades at Kitty Hawk.

It took all my self-control after she chose "First in flight" not to point out, "That's a reference to airplanes, not to fleeing the battlefield."

[Underdog 28823]

Anytime I see one of these at I can't pass up the opportunity to throw a weeks worth of pay to try and win a $2 stuffed bear...

[closetohumping 17492]

got damn soccer mom cuts me off in the left turn lane and just waits there, so I blast the horn to get her to move.  We end up in the same dry cleaner.  I need some Xan

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

On 1/11/2020 at 12:11 AM, closetohumping said:

got damn soccer mom cuts me off in the left turn lane and just waits there, so I blast the horn to get her to move.  We end up in the same dry cleaner.  I need some Xan

Is this one of those Penthouse Forum things?

[tbone_ 14211]

Doesn’t seem like his username checked out

[NeverMarryAStripper 21998]

English is a dying language

[El Diablo 4232]

Had an application come across my desk earlier, guy's last name is "Angus". Checked, no prior military service listed. Disappoint, I haz.

[Buffsoldier 1895]

35 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

Had an application come across my desk earlier, guy's last name is "Angus". Checked, no prior military service listed. Disappoint, I haz.

[closetohumping 17492]

5 hours ago, El Diablo said:

Had an application come across my desk earlier, guy's last name is "Angus". Checked, no prior military service listed. Disappoint, I haz.

Used to deliver packages.  Delivered one to assman 

[WhatTheBuck 28822]

48 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Used to deliver packages.  Delivered one to assman 

You delivered it to the wrong address. 

[BBQ2Bayou 807]

I told my doctor today I can't climax anymore. 

[BBQ2Bayou 807]

That felt good to get out. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19240]

1 minute ago, BurntEyes said:

I used to eat the hell out of pickled veggies. All kinds. Pickled cucumbers, okra, mixed veggies etc.

I don't like them as much anymore. Not sure why.

Aren't pickled cucumbers... what's the word I'm looking for... oh yeah, pickles?

[Underdog 28823]

Have you tried Aunt Bea's pickles?   

['stache 21895]

4 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Aren't pickled cucumbers... what's the word I'm looking for... oh yeah, pickles?

 

[futureman 22562]

have any of you knocked up your wife or gf while she had an IUD?  curious about this “99%” effectiveness. 

[Mach 1 1677]

Why was a millionaire and his wife on a 3 hour tour on the piece of shit Minnow?  Come on, he would have his own boat, or at least splurged for a private tour.

And Ginger? She's fresh off a night fucking some dude, doing the walk of shame in a sequined dress, and says, hey! maybe I should take a boat tour?

Baffling.

 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

11 hours ago, Mach 1 said:

Why was a millionaire and his wife on a 3 hour tour on the piece of shit Minnow?  Come on, he would have his own boat, or at least splurged for a private tour.

And Ginger? She's fresh off a night fucking some dude, doing the walk of shame in a sequined dress, and says, hey! maybe I should take a boat tour?

Baffling.

Or it wasn't a private tour. They were hostages being trafficked by the Skipper. Gilligan is really the mastermind behind SAW. 

 

[Incredulity 11684]

33 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Or it wasn't a private tour. They were hostages being trafficked by the Skipper. Gilligan is really the mastermind behind SAW. 

 

It was all a set up for Thurston Howell III to do some Most Dangerous Game shit.

 

 

[El Diablo 4232]

On ‎1‎/‎13‎/‎2020 at 9:17 PM, BBQ2Bayou said:

I told my doctor today I can't climax anymore. 

I thought my ex had that same issue. Turns out it was just me.