Jump to content

Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 9.8k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

Posted Images

Storm the Field

Storm the Field 5294

Posted
Posted (edited)

At what age do old men determine that athletic attire is totally unnecessary for a trip to the gym? Older gentleman yesterday morning at the Y was working out in jeans, a pair of sperrys and and a short sleeve button up shirt over a t-shirt. A lot of the morning regulars seem to prefer cargo shorts and those black leather work shoes as they sit on the recumbent exercise bikes pedaling at 1/2 mph.

Edited by Storm the Field
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

Posted
Posted

For all the shit people have talked about Daniel Craig's accent in "Knives Out" the truth is I have encountered dozens of folk who sound exactly like that since moving closer to Appalachia.

The guy running the grill at the cafe where I'm currently having breakfast manages to make even fast-moving restaurant kitchen banter seem like honey butter slowly melting on a biscuit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Armybrat

Armybrat 40832

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

For all the shit people have talked about Daniel Craig's accent in "Knives Out" the truth is I have encountered dozens of folk who sound exactly like that since moving closer to Appalachia.

The guy running the grill at the cafe where I'm currently having breakfast manages to make even fast-moving restaurant kitchen banter seem like honey butter slowly melting on a biscuit.

John Travolta’s Brooklyn accent in Urban Cowboy was good laugh. Especially his “sonbitch” instead of “sumbitch”.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Underdog

Underdog 28607

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

For all the shit people have talked about Daniel Craig's accent in "Knives Out" the truth is I have encountered dozens of folk who sound exactly like that since moving closer to Appalachia.

The guy running the grill at the cafe where I'm currently having breakfast manages to make even fast-moving restaurant kitchen banter seem like honey butter slowly melting on a biscuit.

Go on...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Iceman

Iceman 2699

Posted
Posted (edited)

In 2018, my oldest son presented to an assembly of NATO leaders regarding their joint training ops with US troops in Europe.

Yesterday, our youngest son interviewed the NATO Supreme Allied Commander yesterday on AFN. Today he is interviewing a 4-star Admiral over European and African  Operations.

Can't really say more than that, but awfully proud of the work they are doing.  Sometimes it is surreal, but we are proud as hell, and grateful for their seizing opportunities they have prepared for.  Yes, the younger one gets called "Private Joker" and "Cronauer" at our house, even though he is neither Marine, nor Air Force.

Edited by Iceman
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

I'm at a conference earlier today at AT&T hotel on our beloved campus.  Only quiet place I can find is the actual hotel lobby to handle some business despite there being all kinds of other areas to work.  If you know the space, I'm up on that long built-in sofa along the eastern facade of the lobby.  Hot piece of ass in yoga pants walks through the area to check-in.  I'm just glaring at its majesty, and I can sense somebody else is looking at the prize as well.  Some African Lion wants to challenge me to gently nibble on the ass-newton laid before us.  I look across the seating area and I see what's what.  What's more, there's an envelope of cash from a bank in one of those white slips.  I pick it up, hand it to the man who was vying for the affections of the aforementioned buttocks.  And that man?  Texas' own...George Foreman.  Cool to see him on campus.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
futureman

futureman 22449

Posted
Posted (edited)

y’all seen the ads for keeps.com?  the new hair restoration bullshit?  do people not realize it’s the same shit as rogaine repackaged in a spiffy new box?  like literally the exact same drug.  they market it like it’s some great new solution for balding yet that shit has been around for decades and decades.  

Edited by futureman
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

Nope, everybody knows the best way to keep from losing your hair is genetics.  Quit letting your mom fuck bald guys and you'll maintain a thick, lustrous mane like me.  I'm 43 and my hair is literally getting thicker as I get older.  Sure that means mom is banging every Robert Goulet doppelganger in the Western Suburbs of Chicago, but that means I get the phenomenal hair-DNA passed down to me that I deserve.  Seriously, I gotta get it cut every 3 weeks it's so magnificent.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21061

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Lobo said:

Nope, everybody knows the best way to keep from losing your hair is genetics.  Quit letting your mom fuck bald guys and you'll maintain a thick, lustrous mane like me.  I'm 43 and my hair is literally getting thicker as I get older.  Sure that means mom is banging every Robert Goulet doppelganger in the Western Suburbs of Chicago, but that means I get the phenomenal hair-DNA passed down to me that I deserve.  Seriously, I gotta get it cut every 3 weeks it's so magnificent.

Today I learned that Lobo is Andy Richter's cousin. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hornius Emeritus

Hornius Emeritus 12457

Posted
Posted

I'm now seeing conservative news, liberal news, news from a woman's point of view etc... and I'm wondering "what about old drunk guys that you meet at a bar?  Are their needs being adequately addressed in this new news sphere?"   I'm thinking of a studio in some old dive bar outside of Waco.  The weathergirl could be a waitress who smokes cigarettes and calls the viewers "Hon."  The "going to commercial break"  music would be a scratchy 45 RPM record of Ernest Tubb singing "Waltz Across Texas"  that somebody picked up at a garage sale. 
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
52-80

52-80 19150

Posted
Posted

My employer is trying to promote a silent auction for charity, whereby the prizes of the auction are events and 'experiences' with managers like Lunches, Go-karting , Cooking classes.

 

The hilarious thing is that these are mid-senior managers.  Like the vice president of supply chain.  Or the north american director of industrial manufacturing.

 

Inspiring, business luminaries these are not.  Moreover, these people in specific are extremely lame.  It aint quite a date with Jeff fucking Bezos.  Im just laughing at how they think there is an incentive to bidding for this, and who actually would, besides the handful of their direct reports who live to kiss ass.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
52-80

52-80 19150

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Yes. In my spare time I like to hang out doing shitty events with mid management people, sucking up to them, and paying top dollar to do so. WIN!

An event with the hot young chick from MarCom?  Yes

An event with the chief dickhole officer?  Maybe, if you're ambitious.

An event with a 50 year old moustached egyptian dude who wears suits 2 sizes too big?  errrr no thanks

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8407

Posted
Posted
59 minutes ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Is there any reliable evidence that a liar's pants have ever, in fact, caught fire?

The one time I tried to make that happen, I got to talk to a couple of teachers, a principal, a school counselor, a policewoman, my parents, and a psychologist.  As much as people say that they would like to see that happen, they sure do frown on it when you try to give the process a start.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Incredulity

Incredulity 11663

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

The one time I tried to make that happen, I got to talk to a couple of teachers, a principal, a school counselor, a policewoman, my parents, and a psychologist.  As much as people say that they would like to see that happen, they sure do frown on it when you try to give the process a start.

Username blah blah blah

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...