Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

I think the quality of an insurance provider is inversely proportional to the number of ads they run on TV. 

[Kennythetiger 9621]

Maybe so, but I find a juvenile humor in those Brad Paisley/Peyton Manning commercials.  They're so dumb they're funny to me.  

[ButtFumble 5286]

if I ever meet cortana I am going to punch that bitch right in the face

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

Flo needs to be put out to pasture. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

3 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Undeniably insurance companies have created legendary iconic commercials.  Progressive, geico, State Farm all resonate.   The general needs to be bitten by limu emu.  Both horrible 

I have found that the Liberty Mutual commercials are marginally funnier if you pretend that the emu is named Doug. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

I bet that it's a lot of fun to fuck Bjork. 

[Underdog 29168]

With or w/out the swan outfit? 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

Whatever! 

[DigglerontheHoof 21550]

13 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

I bet that it was a lot of fun to fuck Bjork 20 years ago. 

fify

[52-80 19377]

What is the goddamn deal with computer/desk chairs that look like they belong in a sports car?

 

They're typically sold as a "gaming" chair.  But pervasive everywhere. 

 

People at work were posting their WFH set up with these things, and it goes against all tastes and sensibilities.  Just nasty.

 

 

[52-80 19377]

anyone ever thought that Quintana Roo was a place in australia?

[NeverMarryAStripper 22289]

Wait it’s not?

[HornsOverIthaca 2339]

Jupiter kinda looks like vomit.

[Bevo&Pevo 5517]

Would wearing the wife's pantyhose across the face qualify as a mask to protect me from the Corona V?

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

18 minutes ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Would wearing the wife's pantyhose across the face qualify as a mask to protect me from the Corona V?

You'll get something else.

[closetohumping 17810]

Home alone fan on while dropping a deuce?

[HornsOverIthaca 2339]

What if instead of the world ending by an asteroid hitting it, the world hits an asteroid...?  Space lawyers would have a field day.

What if aliens contact us after they listen to the golden record sent on the voyager spacecrafts, but their response is just “COOL STOrY BRO”?

[mulletpelini 5225]

Would be better than what normally happens to NYC in the movies.

[52-80 19377]

im not a health foods, kale smoothie person, but i found an awesome fucking juice.  more like a shot:

 

2/3rd part apple juice; 1/4 part ginger juice; 1/10 part lemon juice. 

 

different denominators got you all fucked up?  well its from the ingredients list thats 65%/25%/10%.

 

no sugars or fillers needed.  apple gives it sweetness.  ginger gives it a fucking kick - a nice sort of burn, and citrus brightens it up.  nice jolt in the morning or afternoon, as alternative to espresso.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22289]

im not a health foods, kale smoothie person, but i found an awesome fucking juice.  more like a shot:
 
2/3rd part apple juice; 1/4 part ginger juice; 1/10 part lemon juice. 
 
different denominators got you all fucked up?  well its from the ingredients list thats 65%/25%/10%.
 
no sugars or fillers needed.  apple gives it sweetness.  ginger gives it a fucking kick - a nice sort of burn, and citrus brightens it up.  nice jolt in the morning or afternoon, as alternative to espresso.

2/3 = 8/12
1/4 = 3/12

I’m not very good at math, but it seems to me if you add 1/10 to that you have more than 100%

[Underdog 29168]

I was told there'd be no math here. 

[52-80 19377]

35 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

2/3 = 8/12
1/4 = 3/12

I’m not very good at math, but it seems to me if you add 1/10 to that you have more than 100%

10 and 25 are easy to turn into fraction

65 is neighbors to 2/3 (66.6).  which is close enough for the girls i go out with.

 

 

[futureman 22694]

does anyone pay for premium porn sites?  honest question.  I feel like everything anyone could possible want to see available for free, and in HD, too.  so who is paying for pornhub premium?  what could it possibly offer that free pornhub does not?  I must know.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22289]

Pornhub premium is where you get the smellovision

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

2 hours ago, 52-80 said:

im not a health foods, kale smoothie person, but i found an awesome fucking juice.  more like a shot:

 

2/3rd part apple juice; 1/4 part ginger juice; 1/10 part lemon juice. 

 

different denominators got you all fucked up?  well its from the ingredients list thats 65%/25%/10%.

 

no sugars or fillers needed.  apple gives it sweetness.  ginger gives it a fucking kick - a nice sort of burn, and citrus brightens it up.  nice jolt in the morning or afternoon, as alternative to espresso.

Circa 1998 or so, Central Market sold Apple-Lemon-Ginger, and it is the only reason I survived Mrs. Ponderer's pregnancy -- it was literally the only thing that kept her from throwing up, and it also seemed to calm her down when she got the hormone-driven screaming shrieky-freakies. I swear by that stuff.

[NorthLoop 14464]

4 hours ago, futureman said:

does anyone pay for premium porn sites?  honest question.  I feel like everything anyone could possible want to see available for free, and in HD, too.  so who is paying for pornhub premium?  what could it possibly offer that free pornhub does not?  I must know.

I'm sure there's plenty of middle aged dudes with lots of extra spending money who would rather just buy it. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 22289]

Of course, but what does that have to do with porn

[Hate 20247]

Circa 1998 or so, Central Market sold Apple-Lemon-Ginger, and it is the only reason I survived Mrs. Ponderer's pregnancy -- it was literally the only thing that kept her from throwing up, and it also seemed to calm her down when she got the hormone-driven screaming shrieky-freakies. I swear by that stuff.

Ginger is the key. My wife ate ginger snaps any time she was nauseous when she was pregnant.

[52-80 19377]

1. rocket salad is an incredibly poor name for a salad

 

2.  free-throw line dunks are the most overrated, least impressive dunks.  forgetting the fact that most of them aren't even at or behind the free-throw line.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

"The Raven" is really just about a passive-aggressive bird telling a whiny bitch to shut the fuck up in his own home.

[goatsaag 281]

On 4/3/2020 at 10:44 AM, futureman said:

does anyone pay for premium porn sites?  honest question.  I feel like everything anyone could possible want to see available for free, and in HD, too.  so who is paying for pornhub premium?  what could it possibly offer that free pornhub does not?  I must know.

You're in luck, pornhub premium is currently free thanks to the coronavirus.

[El Diablo 4232]

5 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

"The Raven" is really just about a passive-aggressive bird telling a whiny bitch to shut the fuck up in his own home.

 

[Bevo&Pevo 5517]

Do you think there are television broadcasts all over Africa showing how we have poor dying people here and asking them to donate 10 dollars a month?

[WhatTheBuck 28928]

8 minutes ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Do you think there are television broadcasts all over Africa showing how we have poor dying people here and asking them to donate 10 dollars a month?

No, probably just the ones asking for donations to support the poor Jews in the former Soviet Union. 

[Kennythetiger 9621]

12 hours ago, Bevo&Pevo said:

Do you think there are television broadcasts all over Africa showing how we have poor dying people here and asking them to donate 10 dollars a month?

Do they have their own Sally Struthers?

[Spoetzl 189]

Are people that went all in on tiny houses hating life right now?

[RPM 26622]

I really need a haircut. Debating using my manscaping clippers.

[mulletpelini 5225]

On 4/3/2020 at 10:44 AM, futureman said:

does anyone pay for premium porn sites?  honest question.  I feel like everything anyone could possible want to see available for free, and in HD, too.  so who is paying for pornhub premium?  what could it possibly offer that free pornhub does not?  I must know.

I think my ex-wife and I paid for Tommy Lee and Pam online when it came out.  That was when video came thru at about 1 frame per second.  I think she wanted to see it more than I did.  Slut.

 

I've noticed after I shave my nose hairs, it actually "feels" like there is more shit up inside there when I stick my finger up it.

[Cheeseweasel 26439]

Pick a winner!

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

even if they're contemporaneous, it kind of sounds wrong to say "I haven't been interested in sex since my Mom died". 

[El Diablo 4232]

Not into necro, eh?

[markstanco 12786]

I really need a haircut. Debating using my manscaping clippers.

Bootleg haircuts are a thing. Same girl cutting my hair for 12 years. She will come to my house, single mom.

[markstanco 12786]

I think my ex-wife and I paid for Tommy Lee and Pam online when it came out.  That was when video came thru at about 1 frame per second.  I think she wanted to see it more than I did.  Slut.
 
I've noticed after I shave my nose hairs, it actually "feels" like there is more shit up inside there when I stick my finger up it.

Yea thats weird paying for porn in 2020. Maybe in 2000 that would be a thing though.

[NeverMarryAStripper 22289]

Bootleg haircuts are a thing. Same girl cutting my hair for 12 years. She will come to my house, single mom.

And you didn’t have any money to pay her right? I’ve seen that video.

[Js1 87176]

On 4/8/2020 at 5:39 AM, mulletpelini said:

 

I've noticed after I shave my nose hairs, it actually "feels" like there is more shit up inside there when I stick my finger up it.

Ugh, this shit is the worst. 

[markstanco 12786]

Way, way underrated band.

[Rimbo 27006]

I was playing Uno with my son (15) and daughter (6), and my son is being merciless. Mind you, my daughter still plays with her cards laid out before her, face up, so we can coach her in how to play; he takes advantage of this to play cards that'll trap her.

Well, in one hand, she was finally about to win, to win it all, despite his unchivalrous malice. When she dropped her second-to-last card and forgot to immediately say "Uno," ... this is where I normally give her a "aren't you forgetting something?" look. My son? No no no, no such look, he goes right for the jugular: "AHHHH YOU DIDN'T SAY 'UNO!'" DRAW TWO CARDS! And so we hand them to her, face-up as it were...

It was a Wild and a Draw Four Wild.

His malice backfired more amazingly than I've ever seen. It was beautiful. (She won, of course. Played the D4 last, too.)

 

[Prepuce of Doom 21285]

It's unclear from your post whether you are already doing this or if only your six year old is, but try having everyone play open-handed to have equal opportunity plotting and scheming. 

It's a lot more fun - at least with a smaller group. 

[Rimbo 27006]

10 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

It's unclear from your post whether you are already doing this or if only your six year old is, but try having everyone play open-handed to have equal opportunity plotting and scheming. 

It's a lot more fun - at least with a smaller group. 

No, no no... how is she going to learn to be a proper brutal, scheming, villainous bastard without the expert tutelage of her big brother?

Gotta think about the long game here.

Edited April 11, 2020 by Rimbo

[futureman 22694]

your son sounds like a real jerk.