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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5216

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, markstanco said:

My 12 yr old kiddo is 5'4 and 120 and just turned 12. I do not endorse fighting or retaliation unless the other won't stop, and he knows this. Then, all bets are off. Other bully kid who is 4'10" got a broke nose today in front of others after a hard shove to minime. Not even mad, and he didn't get ISS because of witnesses.

Can you really blame a kid for bullying yours because his dad has 34D's?

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Underdog

Underdog 28767

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Posted
On 11/13/2020 at 12:02 AM, markstanco said:

Why do guys who ride road bikes feel the need to wear costumes? At lunch today and a few guys came in wearing the normal: sleeveless jean jackets with patches, do-rag, mirror glasses.

I have a truck. Should I wear a cowboy hat and a bolo tie when I drive it?

Did you lock the door and tell them; "Youz guys can't leave now"? 

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General Specific

General Specific 3267

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Posted
Why do guys who ride road bikes feel the need to wear costumes? At lunch today and a few guys came in wearing the normal: sleeveless jean jackets with patches, do-rag, mirror glasses.

I have a truck. Should I wear a cowboy hat and a bolo tie when I drive it?

/s Yes, truck = cowboy hat, bolo, and don’t forget the Luchese boots. Otherwise, you’re not doing it right!

As well as a change into the ole suit and tie (2020 not included) before entering into your place of work, on the top floor, overlooking the downtown park (with a “Surly 10” administrative assistant of course).

Then rush off to don the golf apparel (another change of clothes at the country club). Followed up by evening casual attire with flip flops while drinking Blantons on the back porch, shooting skeet of course!

All to be Topped off by sleeping naked (last change of clothes) next to a “Surly 11” (of course just after doing the dirty deed). Then waking up with the aforementioned Surly 11 starting the day off right!

Setting the example on how to fit into a social group is hard work! /s
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ztejas

ztejas 43528

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, General Specific said:


/s Yes, truck = cowboy hat, bolo, and don’t forget the Luchese boots. Otherwise, you’re not doing it right!

As well as a change into the ole suit and tie (2020 not included) before entering into your place of work, on the top floor, overlooking the downtown park (with a “Surly 10” administrative assistant of course).

Then rush off to don the golf apparel (another change of clothes at the country club). Followed up by evening casual attire with flip flops while drinking Blantons on the back porch, shooting skeet of course!

All to be Topped off by sleeping naked (last change of clothes) next to a “Surly 11” (of course just after doing the dirty deed). Then waking up with the aforementioned Surly 11 starting the day off right!

Setting the example on how to fit into a social group is hard work! /s

Found the biker

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NWBuck

NWBuck 8583

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, General Specific said:


/s Yes, truck = cowboy hat, bolo, and don’t forget the Luchese boots. Otherwise, you’re not doing it right!

As well as a change into the ole suit and tie (2020 not included) before entering into your place of work, on the top floor, overlooking the downtown park (with a “Surly 10” administrative assistant of course).

Then rush off to don the golf apparel (another change of clothes at the country club). Followed up by evening casual attire with flip flops while drinking Blantons on the back porch, shooting skeet of course!

All to be Topped off by sleeping naked (last change of clothes) next to a “Surly 11” (of course just after doing the dirty deed). Then waking up with the aforementioned Surly 11 starting the day off right!

Setting the example on how to fit into a social group is hard work! /s

toy story fashion GIF by Disney Pixar

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted (edited)
26 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I would like to hear Anthony Hopkins and Jody Foster sing Baby It's Cold Outside together.  Take the creepiness of the song to 11.

Thanks for the fucking yuletide nightmare fuel, asshole.  Let me guess, during the bridge instrumental he whispers to her, "of course he's cold outside Clarice...I removed his skin and hung him in effigy." 

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8411

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Posted
1 minute ago, Lobo said:

Thanks for the fucking yuletide nightmare fuel, asshole.  Let me guess, during the bridge instrumental he whispers to her, "of course he's cold outside...I removed his skin and hung him in effigy." 

This brings up another random thought that I have had: where is effigy?  I hear about folks being hung there, but I don't know where it is, nor why they hang so many people there.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28797

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

I would like to hear Anthony Hopkins and Jody Foster sing Baby It's Cold Outside together.  Take the creepiness of the song to 11.

I don't know if either of them can sing. I've never heard either of them sing. But I don't think it would be creepy. They both seem like nice people. And you've got to figure they've had some vocal training. 

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4997

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Underdog said:

The fuck is up with Dallas and drag racing?  Cocksuckers revving up their engines roaring down the highway 1:30 in the morning....  fuck you, assholes. 

The crotchrocket motherfuckers taking up every lane on the highway so they can do wheelies during rush hour can also fuck off and die.

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Willfully Horn

Willfully Horn 8046

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Not wanting to fuck up another thread, I’ve got to say Lucas Brasi was an incredibly compelling character, but fictional sociopathy is far richer than the ever loyal he.

His character doesn’t deserve a comparison with McCarthy’s Judge.

Aurora de Gama Zogoiby and the Judge. Greatest literary sociopaths. Them and whoever I’m forgetting, or ignorant of.
 

 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted (edited)

"Die Hard" isn't a Christmas movie.  "Die Hard" is a Festivus movie.  

Hans and his team left Europe on the 23rd of December, the date of Festivus.  Sure, they don't start their heist until the 24th but that's in another time-zone that their faith does not acknowledge.  Their heist acknowledges it simply because they need bare minimum security, skeleton crew police nearby, and just enough hostages to make it interesting for the FBI but not a building full of thousands of employees, so they finish their heist on the 24th company party.  They began their heist on the 23rd as they made their way to Los Angeles, nearly half-way across the world.  They would have known better than to buy 10 tickets in first class on the same plane.  They started their journey on the 23rd and met up with Theo and Eddie who were already U.S. citizens.  

The aluminum pole in this case, isn't so much a pole, but it's still made from steel with a very solid strength-to-weight ratio......the festivus pole is Nakatomi Plaza itself.  

The festivus dinner is of course the Nakatomi Corporation holiday employee party that is being enjoyed by all when the Gruber gang busts in.  

The Airing of the Grievances is actually a ruse though, much like Frank Costanza not actually being all that upset.  In fact, just like Hans Gruber, he loses his train of thought halfway through his rant because his heart really wasn't in it.  Hans, too, was mostly lying.  And much like Elaine's horse, Mr. Takagi just had to be shot.  

The Feats of Strength of course come in many forms, most notably in what we are led to believe is the final showdown between John McClane and Karl in the service area of the building.  As we know with Festivus, someone must either pin their opponent on the carpet or wrap them in heavy-duty chain to choke out on the loading dock.  

And just as Gwen and Jerry reunite as a Festivus Miracle, so too is John saved by his new friend Al Powell so he can be reunited with his love, Holly McClane.  A true Festivus Miracle.  Hans Gruber was an eloquent speaker of English, but it was a third language for him.  What he meant to say earlier in the film was, "It's Festivus Theo, it's the time of Miracles!"  

I'll figure out how the bagel strike thing fits in later.  

Edited by Lobo
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66BUFF

66BUFF 2565

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Lobo said:

"Die Hard" isn't a Christmas movie.  "Die Hard" is a Festivus movie.  

Hans and his team left Europe on the 23rd of December, the date of Festivus.  Sure, they don't start their heist until the 24th but that's in another time-zone that their faith does not acknowledge.  Their heist acknowledges it simply because they need bare minimum security, skeleton crew police nearby, and just enough hostages to make it interesting for the FBI but not a building full of thousands of employees, so they finish their heist on the 24th company party.  They began their heist on the 23rd as they made their way to Los Angeles, nearly half-way across the world.  They would have known better than to buy 10 tickets in first class on the same plane.  They started their journey on the 23rd and met up with Theo and Eddie who were already U.S. citizens.  

The aluminum pole in this case, isn't so much a pole, but it's still made from steel with a very solid strength-to-weight ratio......the festivus pole is Nakatomi Plaza itself.  

The festivus dinner is of course the Nakatomi Corporation holiday employee party that is being enjoyed by all when the Gruber gang busts in.  

The Airing of the Grievances is actually a ruse though, much like Frank Costanza not actually being all that upset.  In fact, just like Hans Gruber, he loses his train of thought halfway through his rant because his heart really wasn't in it.  Hans, too, was mostly lying.  And much like Elaine's horse, Mr. Takagi just had to be shot.  

The Feats of Strength of course come in many forms, most notably in what we are led to believe is the final showdown between John McClane and Karl in the service area of the building.  As we know with Festivus, someone must either pin their opponent on the carpet or wrap them in heavy-duty chain to choke out on the loading dock.  

And just as Gwen and Jerry reunite as a Festivus Miracle, so too is John saved by his new friend Al Powell so he can be reunited with his love, Holly McClane.  A true Festivus Miracle.  Hans Gruber was an eloquent speaker of English, but it was a third language for him.  What he meant to say earlier in the film was, "It's Festivus Theo, it's the time of Miracles!"  

I'll figure out how the bagel strike thing fits in later.  

If you want to keep working here, stay off the drugs.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

Wait until I tell you about a man with a Messiah Complex who shows up on foreign lands with 12 believers in tow, who claims he can perform miracles and spread the wealth from the greedy rich down to the working man.  

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