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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
in Lulz

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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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retread

retread 2,951

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Posted (edited)
On 3/29/2018 at 9:57 AM, Prepuce of Doom said:

You need to wear more colored t-shirts.

I harvest my lint every morning before showering, and once I have a sufficient crop, I mail it to my friends.
 

I probably shouldn't show this to you, but I think you could really take your lint fetish to the next level with this

qXrjrH4.gif

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GhostRider

GhostRider 169

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Posted
Just now, BurntEyes said:

Jesus titty fucking Christ, are you from Ohio. Only reason one would think of chili in relation to a spaghetti post.

Nope.  When I read his post, I thought about other foods that are better the next day and then chili came to mind.  I have never and will never allow spaghetti nor beans anywhere near my chili.

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21,864

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On 3/27/2018 at 2:34 PM, DarthBalls said:

I use my phone for: weather, maps, music, video media, news, camera, photo library, wife locator, home security control, house thermostat,  email, text messages, kitchen timer, food thermometer display, book reading, calorie log, crossword puzzles, phone calls, exercise log and general research tool. It's overwhelming and i don't think there is any way to go back to the way it was before. 

I liked it when you could get in your car and leave and nobody could get in touch with you.

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beer

beer 3,220

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On 4/3/2018 at 6:05 PM, BurntOrangeCrush said:

Agreed. Whenever you feel one coming, get some hydrogen peroxide, dip a q-tip in it and rub it on your lip. It will sting but you will see pus come to the surface. Do this 3 times a day and it will go away quickly.

You'e welcome 

* no allopathic trials including prospective randomized control data were obtained in the offering of this folksy advice

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Hanrahan

Hanrahan 1,306

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I don’t understand ocean pressure at depth, and I’ve been scuba certified since age 12. I get the general concept but they have to make a submarine tank to get to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and the first thing they see down there is some type of soft-bodied skate. Why isn’t that thing crushed into a tiny ball when my head would implode miles above it?

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lateshow

lateshow 1,304

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15 hours ago, Hanrahan said:

I don’t understand ocean pressure at depth, and I’ve been scuba certified since age 12. I get the general concept but they have to make a submarine tank to get to the bottom of the Mariana Trench and the first thing they see down there is some type of soft-bodied skate. Why isn’t that thing crushed into a tiny ball when my head would implode miles above it?

Because you touch yourself. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28,771

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17 hours ago, tokamak said:

Why do microwaves have 10 discrete power levels? I have never, ever used anything but 10 or 5. Are there seriously people out there that are like "3 is perfect but 4 is too fucking much!!"

They have two power levels: on and off. The pre-programmed power levels are just ratios of time on vs. time off. 

Get a notepad and a non-metallic bowl full of water. Put the bowl of water in your microwave. Test each power level for a minute and record the period between power on and power off in your notepad. 

I don't know about you but I find it a lot better to reheat food in the microwave a little more slowly with an occasional stir. It might take me as long as five or six minutes to reheat a dish doing it that way. The horror. 

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Doc Holliday

Doc Holliday 199

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Posted

If USA is tied to the lizard people from outer space, Hello Zuk, and the lizard people hate the grey people are the greys in cahoots with Russia?  Is that why we are always at odds with Russia despite being very similar?  #conspiracythoughtexperiment #popcorn #ishouldwritescifi

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