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Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
in Lulz

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ajax
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Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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SKJ

SKJ 1311

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2 hours ago, Underdog said:

merrin.gif.89da876b646f6687a69e52e229cb394f.gif

Yes.  Exactly that.  One time,  I knew it was coming.  I was still trying to work,  so by the time I went to the hospital I was really distended and was really nauseous. I went into the ER and told them exactly what was up.  They had me wait an hour.  I told them repeatedly I needed them to start an NG tube before it got to exorcist levels.  I still waited. 

Finally,  this poor nurse takes me back. I told her I needed a bucket,  not just a little emesis dish, and I needed the NG tube placed and exactly how she'd need to do it since my nose has been broken several times.  She said,  no one requests an NG tube, and looked at me like i was strange.  She assured me she was a pro at this,  but wouldn't bend it like I told her,  and turn it downward as soon as it stopped going in.  She told me basically "I know what I'm doing" but she failed... and all that green vomit went all over her. 

I felt badly for her,  but again,  I had warned her and even coached her on how to get it down my throat. 

Edited by SKJ
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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28779

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I know that pro golfers like to have the crowds there cheering them on. But watching the game on tv last year when the crowds were banned was a lot more enjoyable because you didn’t have to hear some assholes shouting “Get in the hole!” on every swing. And sometimes after lunch on a Sunday afternoon I like to take a nap on the couch with golf on the tv and it was nicer for that too. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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And they both suck in terms of how they treat artists.  Somebody's gonna invent an artist-friendly streaming platform where they offer a decent payment to the mid-level artist and let the artist see/keep their user data and blow this whole thing up.  The big names are gonna be just fine, but the mid-level artist that has sold a few hundred thousand albums, plays the mid-day stage at a festival, has 50k followers on social media...there are a couple thousands bands like that who are starving to be treated properly by these streaming services.  Pandora and Spotify and Patreon are just the modern day Barry Gordy's of the industry...promising up and coming musicians the world and fucking them over to the tune of 1 cent per play and 3 cents per download.  I do like access to new music though, but this just isn't working for almost anybody involved.  

If I could find a good platform to disrupt this space from the artist perspective, I'd invest in a heartbeat.  Not inventing a new platform and wasting $50mm in marketing to migrate users over to it.  But offer 1000 mid-level bands a huge chunk of the subscription fee and have them bring their followers over for me.  /endrandomrant

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28779

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13 hours ago, Superhero said:

In Bourne Identity, Matt Damon gets the orange sweater from the fisherman.

He must've smelled like fish from a mile away. /MattDamon

It’s funny how Jimmy Kimmel apologizes to Matt Damon for bumping him at the end of every show. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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I have noticed the couple times I've seen Kimmel off script/cuecards...he's not that funny.  but then, sometimes those guys just drop it all when the cameras aren't rolling and just revert to nothingness.  Doesn't mean they aren't funny in real life.  But he didn't strike me as naturally funny.  I dunno.  He's doing something right, his show is very popular.  But I don't know it's humor-driven, just other factors and then...down the line...good writing with good delivery.  

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28779

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On 5/15/2021 at 9:56 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I don't see how anyone can watch golf on tv.  Did you run out of paint you could watch dry?

Yes, I’m such a tv golf junky that I like to sleep during it.

I do occasionally see some good shots. And I got to see Tiger win the Masters. And Jordan Spieth choke in Austin. And lose again this past weekend. I’m not really a golf fan but when I saw an overhead shot on Saturday of the AT&T tournament and there were these big, ugly McMansions crammed together on the side of the course I thought, “That’s got to be Texas.” Sure enough, I was right.

😛

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28779

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19 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:

Golf and baseball are great naptime tv.

As long as Dick Vitale isn’t calling the basketball game. I can’t take that, BABEEEE!!

(Even if I’d otherwise like to actually watch the game.)

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 4991

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1 hour ago, BrazilHorn said:

I’m at Still Austin having a drink and a lady just walked in with a clear carrying case for her parakeet. 
Took her pet bird on a field trip. 

I have a neighbor that walks his bird around in a cage.  Keep Austin weird.

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Born to Run

Born to Run 6569

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Yes, I’m such a tv golf junky that I like to sleep during it.
I do occasionally see some good shots. And I got to see Tiger win the Masters. And Jordan Spieth choke in Austin. And lose again this past weekend. I’m not really a golf fan but when I saw an overhead shot on Saturday of the AT&T tournament and there were these big, ugly McMansions crammed together on the side of the course I thought, “That’s got to be Texas.” Sure enough, I was right.

Tv Golf yields the best ever naps.

My pops used to record golf tournaments and play them for his pet duck when he traveled. Duck loved that shit
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Underdog

Underdog 28625

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8 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Won't work - if the people complaining about this issue had functional feet, this wouldn't be a discussion in the first place. 

There you go crushing my dreams again. Guess I'll just go ahead and throw away this prototype I've been working on for years and spent way too much money on. 

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Underdog

Underdog 28625

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8 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Won't work - if the people complaining about this issue had functional feet, this wouldn't be a discussion in the first place. 

There you go crushing my dreams again. Guess I'll just go ahead and throw away this prototype I've been working on for years and spent way too much money on. 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21071

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3 minutes ago, elfenix said:

sock touching bowl isn't much better. arguably worse.

Whoa - I assumed that this discussion only applied to public toilets. You mean to tell me that the toilet seat in your own home is so disgusting that you won't touch it before pooping or peeing?

This is a whole separate problem, and a toilet seat handle is not the solution. 

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