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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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Doze

Doze 1322

Posted
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Is there a physics major in the house? I'm trying to figure out if a 20lb cat can knock over a 10lb aquarium.  I don't want to blame my dog yet.

Force = Mass X Acceleration. 

for the liberal arts majors........the cat got a running start.

 

And that's big farking cat. 

Edited by Doze
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TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31519

Posted
Posted

Cats are strong af for their size.  And that's a bigun.

If there was any way for the cat to apply leverage, like getting between a wall and the tank, or hanging/falling off the stand with a paw in the water (gravity), that aquarium is getting knocked over.  Assuming the cat has interest in knocking it over, which is a good assumption with a fishy in it.

Also:

tenor.gif?itemid=4867017

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17456

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, TwiceHorn said:

Cats are strong af for their size.  And that's a bigun.

If there was any way for the cat to apply leverage, like getting between a wall and the tank, or hanging/falling off the stand with a paw in the water (gravity), that aquarium is getting knocked over.  Assuming the cat has interest in knocking it over, which is a good assumption with a fishy in it.

Also:

tenor.gif?itemid=4867017

Definite interest.  He was stalking the fish from the start.  Now time to go buy a replacement beta fish

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Bullneck

Bullneck 19196

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Posted
On 6/3/2021 at 12:19 AM, SHOOTER12 said:

👨‍💼I don't know, maybe people are more stressed and have more going on than when I had a young child, but if you're spread so thin that you can't remember and prioritize your childs life, YOU NEED TO REEVALUATE YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE YOU DIMWIT MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE, OR GIVE YOUR CHILD UP FOR ADOPTION BECAUSE YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH COMMON SENSE TO BE CARING FOR ONE!

 

end rant

This seems a bit harsh but I have a hard time wrapping my mind around not knowing where your kid is at all times. 

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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Posted
10 hours ago, Bullneck said:

This seems a bit harsh but I have a hard time wrapping my mind around not knowing where your kid is at all times. 

I'm sort of in this camp too. Maybe start with a puppy or a betta fish and see how that goes for a few years before doing a human.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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37 minutes ago, Patricio Swayze said:

I am thinking about starting a punk band called "Asparagus Piss".

Fun fact-less than half of humans have the digestive constitution that make your urine have that smell after asparagus.  We are actually in the minority.  Most people, it just passes through like any other dense vegetable and causes no unusual odor.  

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ztejas

ztejas 43526

Posted
Posted

I just got a cigarette burn on my dick.

And no it wasn't a kinky dear-penthouse-forum type situation. It was a misguided attempt at multitasking in the dark. 

Maybe it will play in my favor during a "never have I ever" contest at some point. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28795

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

I am thinking about starting a punk band called "Asparagus Piss".

The good thing about forming a punk band is that you don’t have to know how to sing or play an instrument. Just scream, treat your guitar like you’re skinning a cat, and show a rebellious “attitude,” and you can get laid. And get some guys to think you’re totally awesome. 

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8819

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 6/10/2021 at 9:44 PM, Doze said:

Speaking of piss.  Why do some MFers grunt at the public urinal? 

I might understand grunting during numero duece, but what the hell is the "piss grunt" all about? 

The piss grunts while strange are not that bad. 2 weeks ago I was in a convenience store bathroom and the guy was so loud that on the way out the door I asked him if he was  needing a doctor since it sounded like he was giving birth. I got a loud f*** you as a response.

Edited by SHOOTER12
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8819

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, ztejas said:

I just got a cigarette burn on my dick.

And no it wasn't a kinky dear-penthouse-forum type situation. It was a misguided attempt at multitasking in the dark. 

Maybe it will play in my favor during a "never have I ever" contest at some point. 

So you were smoking Pole or what?

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Pancho

Pancho 44935

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Posted

Was out with friends Saturday just doing our thing at the bars.  I brought an edible with me, but I never took it.  Instead, I just stuck to drinking. 

Randomly, I just started laughing uncontrollably.  My friends suspected I had taken the edible, but I never did.  For some reason, something at the bar that night reminded me of The Simpsons and that doctor where wherever he goes, he just says “HI EVERYBODY!” And they go “HI DR. NICK!” And just thinking about that line made me laugh for what seemed forever.  Even I thought I was high, granted where we were you could tell many people were smoking. 

I’m still not sure why I got so tickled over that line, but even now, I’m laughing so hard on the inside and I don’t know why. 

 

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ztejas

ztejas 43526

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, beer said:

We need a button right next to 'submit reply' that makes this reply automatically

Yet I can't get a rep for it.

On follow up - I still have burn marks on my Phillip K. But it doesn't hurt or affect my jacking efforts so it's now just a story. 

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