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Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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Jack

Jack 51

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On 7/11/2018 at 6:42 PM, LongestHorn said:

Teenagers use waay too much toilet paper.  

I've been in meetings where it's quite clear the fat guy was unable to wipe his ass properly.  It's like an aura or haze of shit emanating from that area.

 

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Jack

Jack 51

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4 minutes ago, skipperj said:

Y’all have such weak constitutions that you can’t throw down some Taco Bell without almost shitting yourselves?

After you've eaten healthy for a few years, your tolerance for that "food" drops substantially.  Last time I ate Taco bell my shit looked like unicorn diarrhea.

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26379

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13 hours ago, skipperj said:

Y’all have such weak constitutions that you can’t throw down some Taco Bell without almost shitting yourselves?

Throw it up? I haven't had shits this good since I was in Costa Rica. In 24 hours I've lost two inches off my waistline. If this keeps up, my hair will grow back, my old dog will be alive again, and they'll be playing "Joshua Tree" on Top-40 Radio.

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phdhorn

phdhorn 6224

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1) I always envisioned Buzz knocking out Neil or even knocking him off by like pulling out his air system before he went out, saying, "I'm the first mothafucka to ever set foot on the moon, and i don't give a fuck what they do to me!"

2) Then I used to envision Michael Collins saying, "Fuck you, Aldrin, Neil was my best friend!" then simply gassing the Command Module out of lunar orbit, laughing evilly at Buzz over the LEM sound system.


I used to have a pretty good imagination.

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11650

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3 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

Do fans of Mariachi or Polka music sit around and debate who the best accordion player etc is in the world.  Sort of like rock music fans debate who the best guitarist is?

Are there fans of Polka music, per se?  Or people who dance to Polka music.  

I would be weirded the fuck out if I showed up at somebodies house and they were just "enjoying" Polka music.

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DigglerontheHoof

DigglerontheHoof 21176

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My row mate on my SWA flight to Chicago is either on the spectrum or will be the next big spree shooter.

Motherfucker is sitting on the aisle and about 30 minutes into the flight I had to go pee.  Asked, politely, if I could squeeze by.  the dude just stared at me and barely turned his legs sideways to let me by...whatever, go to pee.

When I got back to the seat, same shit, I basically had to crawl over him.  As I sit down, I shoot him a "nice dick move, asshole" look.  He then proceeds to stare at me for a solid minute.  I look at him and ask "what is your fucking problem?".  Just continues to stare.  I finally stare him down.  Then, drinks come...I get my water, flight attendant hands him his and he, literally, dumped it into the vacant middle seat, dousing me, my laptop and all my shit....no apology...more stares.

Finally, he gets up to go pee himself and the flight attendant asked him to go to the front, instead of trying to get by her to go to the rear....stares her down, then turns and walks up front.  I took the opportunity to change seats, so I don't beat him to fucking death and go to jail.  The end of these random thoughts. 

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RPM

RPM 26315

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I hate it when I stub my little toe. My house is full of hidden traps that I should have seared into my brain by now, but no. I go full Peter Griffin and feel the pain of hitting the same gotdam thing for the 4th time wash over me like rivulets of icicles in a cascading waterfall of shame.

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Celery Man

Celery Man 20931

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On 7/16/2018 at 9:08 PM, mulletpelini said:

ever notice how similar mexican music and polka are?

Yeah, Tejano is heavily influenced by German and Czech folk music.  This makes since given that the style developed in central and south Texas, where there are/were lots of Mexicans and lots of Germans and Czechs.

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'stache

'stache 21795

Posted
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d251bc44c914405f114984f8c81adc5e.jpg

 

Does anyone ever actually use these pieces of shit in hotel rooms? I think I did once a long time ago and it was messy as fuck and tasted like shit. Most hotels have coffee in the lobby anyway. Why are these still a thing in hotel rooms?

 

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mr. sunshine

mr. sunshine 2824

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26 minutes ago, 'stache said:

d251bc44c914405f114984f8c81adc5e.jpg

 

Does anyone ever actually use these pieces of shit in hotel rooms? I think I did once a long time ago and it was messy as fuck and tasted like shit. Most hotels have coffee in the lobby anyway. Why are these still a thing in hotel rooms?

 

It's not bad.  Probably the same coffee and water they use in the lobby, plus you don't have to go to the lobby.  Also, setting up the pot and ripping the packets open early in the morning is good payback to any asshole roomies who may have kept you up late the night before.

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21052

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I never use them unless everything is completely dry prior to my adding water, and even then, it's only in rare circumstances. 

On a similar note, Joey Crawford (bald shithead NBA ref) admitted to pissing in hotel ice buckets all the time so that he wouldn't have to get out of bed to piss while hungover. 

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'stache

'stache 21795

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It also grosses me out thinking about someone leaving water in the tank months ago and it having molded. I also assume that since no one uses them the coffee packets are old as fuck. I just don’t get why they still show up on hotels.

 

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