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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40850

Posted
Posted
On 7/7/2021 at 2:55 PM, Superhero said:

Was just in the restroom and one of my coworkers must have peed for a solid 60 seconds. He had already started before I walked in, I did my thing and flushed, he was still going. Reminded me of Austin Powers.

 

 

I once peed into an empty fifth Four Roses bottle and filled it to the neck.

Kept it on the kitchen countertop next to the apartment living room as sort of a trophy. My roommates didn’t object, but we were evicted a couple of weeks later (The Oldham House apartments, August 1966).

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21469

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About a month ago I discovered that I really like wearing a mask.  I was in the liquor store, and walked right by a former coworker who is the most miserable cunt I have ever known in my life.  It got to the point that she was borderline stalking me.  And she just walked right by me.   No need for annoying small talk.  It was as if I didn’t exist.  I have decided that I am wearing a mask for as long as it is even remotely a thing to avoid such interactions.

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2812

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, conVINCEd said:

We talking tree fiddy to 320 or 210 to 180?  And yes, you would be fucked if she lost 2 lbs and you didn’t notice.

In between. 240 to 210. 6'1. I guess I wear it well. I'm not annoyed at all for the record but I have an oddball sense of humor so I started thinking about it and hence the post. My new goal is to see how much weight I can put back on before she says something.

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futureman

futureman 22466

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Baboontyme said:

In between. 240 to 210. 6'1. I guess I wear it well. I'm not annoyed at all for the record but I have an oddball sense of humor so I started thinking about it and hence the post. My new goal is to see how much weight I can put back on before she says something.

the dude she’s banging is 185. 

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21469

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Baboontyme said:

In between. 240 to 210. 6'1. I guess I wear it well. I'm not annoyed at all for the record but I have an oddball sense of humor so I started thinking about it and hence the post. My new goal is to see how much weight I can put back on before she says something.

Probably better off, health wise, to see how much money you can spend on your favorite hobby before she notices.  Congrats on the weight loss, I’ve dropped 15 COVID lbs in the last couple of months myself.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted (edited)
21 hours ago, OneOfTheOutOfFocusGuys said:

No one needs 700 salt and pepper packets for a breakfast taco, Mi Madres 

Mother fucking, this.  They throw in all that salt and pepper and one napkin made out of the rumor of an old coffee filter.  

But their Rancheros plate rocks, fight me. 

Edited by Lobo
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Willfully Horn

Willfully Horn 8017

Posted
Posted

I saw an image today that reminded me of the time I was invited to see a career’s worth of momentous of a retiring NASA project manager. It was too neat; I even held a shuttle tile (in a plastic bag.) I was most affected by a photo, poster scale, of the first untethered human space jaunt.

image.png.49df962b12c3d74b0ff753c44b382ded.png

I got chocked up.
 

So did Twitter, on the image I saw today, of the same event.

image.png.37b3abb26c3102688fd1bce47924ad83.png

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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No, he was moved.  emotionally.  Moved Almost to tears.  Do you even read, bro?

(side note, that is a beautiful photo)

Edited by Lobo
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HRSchenker

HRSchenker 2268

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Choosing to work with the public in health care has got to be the dumbest decision I've ever made in my life. Is there another field of work out there where someone could ask a yes or no question, you give a yes or no answer, and then they get angry and confused at your answer? If I keep doing this for a living I'm gonna die young 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Posted

Where did they get all that cyanide for Jonestown?  I get the powdered flavor-aide drink, but nobody in Guyana just has a "cyanide guy."  Where'd they get all that shit?  

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Baboontyme

Baboontyme 2812

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I drew the short straw and had to go pick up McD's at lunch for the kids. The girl had a friend over so there was 3 of them, plus my wife. The order was like 3 plain hamburgers, 3 small fries, a lemonade and an order of hotcakes. 

Disclaimer - I am well aware of the tough circumstances that retail workers are currently facing and I am all about giving them "grace". Hell I invented Grace even though she passed away thirty years ago...but I digress. 

It's 12:30 pm, dining room has been closed so it's drive thru only and it's fucking madness as usual. It's pouring rain. My order is $17 something. I pull forward. They give me the drink and ask me to pull forward against the curb and they'll bring it out. I go as far forward and as close to the curb as possible without hanging into the driveway, so others can get around me. There's about 2 car lengths between me and the front of any car at the window. Suddenly a big white rape van pulls up behind me. Annoyed I wave him around and turn my hazards on. Well he must have been waiting, too. The cars at the window can barely get around him, and me to pull out of the driveway. I am also hella stressed with work today and in a huge rush. So about 10 minutes later, limping old lady comes out with 2 bags of food, comes to my car and says, did you have 3 orders of fries? I say hell yes mama, grab the bags and peel out. Obv I am munching on the fries a little on the 3 minute drive home. As I pull in the hood, I decide to check the other bag to be sure. 4 fucking McChicken sandwiches. Wait a minute - these fries are Mediums and I ordered smalls. I am pissed just at the world in general because I am in a hurry and stressed. So I go back and I notice when I get one car behind the ordering speaker that the car in front of me is a big white rape van. A Ha. 

They tell rape van to pull to the window and I follow him, right behind him. At the pickup window he has a short conversation with them and he hands them back a white plastic bag that clearly resembles the shape of the McDonald's hotcakes. Then they hand him two brown bags and he's off. My turn. I hand her my receipt so they can get my order down again. There are two women there. The manager aged one says we need the food back. I say "Uhh...you sure? I was picking at those fries..." she says yes, we aren't going to serve it but we have to dispose of it. Whatever. Here ya go. About 30 seconds later the younger one comes to the window with a white plastic bag that clearly resembles the shape of McDonald's hotcakes and says here's your food. I say "Uhh..." and she says "Oh no - this is freshly made". I say "Uhh...are you sure?" "Yes sir". "Uhh...I saw the guy in front of me hand you a bag that looked exactly like this..." "No sir, this is fresh, I promise. Thank you very much". I gave up. Cars lining up behind me, it's not my food anyway, I didn't want to be a dick to this stressed out 20 year old, and I got shit to do. 

TLDR: So yeah, they are fucking reserving food. Gross. Should I fucking call a health inspector or some shit? Paging @Scraps 

Or should I show them some GRACE. Kids seemed to enjoy the food just fine. 

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Helobious

Helobious 9454

Posted
Posted
On 7/16/2021 at 8:07 PM, Baboontyme said:

I drew the short straw and had to go pick up McD's at lunch for the kids. The girl had a friend over so there was 3 of them, plus my wife. The order was like 3 plain hamburgers, 3 small fries, a lemonade and an order of hotcakes. 

Disclaimer - I am well aware of the tough circumstances that retail workers are currently facing and I am all about giving them "grace". Hell I invented Grace even though she passed away thirty years ago...but I digress. 

It's 12:30 pm, dining room has been closed so it's drive thru only and it's fucking madness as usual. It's pouring rain. My order is $17 something. I pull forward. They give me the drink and ask me to pull forward against the curb and they'll bring it out. I go as far forward and as close to the curb as possible without hanging into the driveway, so others can get around me. There's about 2 car lengths between me and the front of any car at the window. Suddenly a big white rape van pulls up behind me. Annoyed I wave him around and turn my hazards on. Well he must have been waiting, too. The cars at the window can barely get around him, and me to pull out of the driveway. I am also hella stressed with work today and in a huge rush. So about 10 minutes later, limping old lady comes out with 2 bags of food, comes to my car and says, did you have 3 orders of fries? I say hell yes mama, grab the bags and peel out. Obv I am munching on the fries a little on the 3 minute drive home. As I pull in the hood, I decide to check the other bag to be sure. 4 fucking McChicken sandwiches. Wait a minute - these fries are Mediums and I ordered smalls. I am pissed just at the world in general because I am in a hurry and stressed. So I go back and I notice when I get one car behind the ordering speaker that the car in front of me is a big white rape van. A Ha. 

They tell rape van to pull to the window and I follow him, right behind him. At the pickup window he has a short conversation with them and he hands them back a white plastic bag that clearly resembles the shape of the McDonald's hotcakes. Then they hand him two brown bags and he's off. My turn. I hand her my receipt so they can get my order down again. There are two women there. The manager aged one says we need the food back. I say "Uhh...you sure? I was picking at those fries..." she says yes, we aren't going to serve it but we have to dispose of it. Whatever. Here ya go. About 30 seconds later the younger one comes to the window with a white plastic bag that clearly resembles the shape of McDonald's hotcakes and says here's your food. I say "Uhh..." and she says "Oh no - this is freshly made". I say "Uhh...are you sure?" "Yes sir". "Uhh...I saw the guy in front of me hand you a bag that looked exactly like this..." "No sir, this is fresh, I promise. Thank you very much". I gave up. Cars lining up behind me, it's not my food anyway, I didn't want to be a dick to this stressed out 20 year old, and I got shit to do. 

TLDR: So yeah, they are fucking reserving food. Gross. Should I fucking call a health inspector or some shit? Paging @Scraps 

Or should I show them some GRACE. Kids seemed to enjoy the food just fine. 

I stopped checking the bag to make sure they got my order right a couple years ago. Figure it’s better for my peace of mind and I just deserve whatever they hand me for being a lazy fatass and getting fast food. Sure enough, I haven’t gotten one incorrect order since I stopped verifying. 4 mcchickens & a bunch of fries sounds bomb.

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21074

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Helobious said:

I stopped checking the bag to make sure they got my order right a couple years ago. Figure it’s better for my peace of mind and I just deserve whatever they hand me for being a lazy fatass and getting fast food. Sure enough, I haven’t gotten one incorrect order since I stopped verifying. 4 mcchickens & a bunch of fries sounds bomb.

You want to know how I know you have no young children in the house? 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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