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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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Guest Lobo

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9 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Glad surly is here as an outlet for your angst.

Perhaps you're not familiar with a more widely-accepted product for angst, alcohol.  Nah, I just feel bad for the kid.  But full kudos to Melania, she has done a great job keeping him out of the public light and allowing him to grow up as normal as can be for a kid with that height and surname.  And other than a few fuckwads (there's always some), most folks in the media and just general public have pretty much left him alone.  Which is the way it should be for young children of famous families. 

Jenna Bush has told some stories that would make you cry with rage about the shit they had to put up with back in the day and she was already a young adult when her father took office.  Not talking about the margarita bullshit, I'm talking about the stuff shouted at her, the places the photographers would hide, the hate mail she got.  It's what drove her to want to write children's books actually.  She began outlining/sketching them long before she ever became a mother as a way of catharsis.  

FWIW-I used to joke about Chelsea Clinton as much as any other teenage asshole in the John Birch Youth Brigade.  But having interacted with her in person a few times as an adult...she is absolutely delightful, brilliant, and warm.  And a really, really pleasant looking buttocks.  You would never know what a trainwreck of a childhood she had. 

Random Thought---if humans and dinosaurs co-existed on Earth at the same time...why are there are a grand total of zero cave paintings or stories about 20-foot tall monsters roaming the valley eating babies with it's razor sharp teeth?  You think that would have come up in a sculpture or two?   

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For the record, I was only 4 when she left the Residence.  I regret nothing about our torrid affair!  it was fueled by those who said, "Not appropriate!"  

(did something fucked up happen to her IRL while she was First Daughter? I honestly have no idea)

But seriously, Chelsea got quite attractive.  First time I met her was between kids 1 & 2 and she had her summer jugs and her ass looked great in these uber-tight jeans (it was a casual breakfast).  And she has that gift that her dad has for smiling at you in just the right way and leaning in and making you think you're the only person in the world that matters to them.  I was quite smitten.  Until my wife nudged me for staring at her ass as she walked away to give her remarks.   

I find Barbara Bush very attractive (the daughter), but she seems to have been by far the most successful "first child" in recent decades in terms of eluding the public eye.  

here's a weird random thought I had no idea about.  Just a few years ago right as all the shit was starting to come out, Malia Obama did an internship at the Weinstein Company.  And not like for the whole company, specifically for Harvey Weinstein.  Who's the fucking asshole family friend that arranged that gig for the Obamas?  Fucker's lucky he's not dead.  

"Hey Barack, sorry I insisted Malia take that internship.  I thought I was doing y'all a favor.  I mean yeah, we kinda suspected a lot of this stuff years ago, but hey---I figured she'd be fine there...'cause...you know...he's not sexually attracted to non-blondes."  

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Pos rep for "the Other One" lyrics.  Not a frequently cited Dead song.  Kruetzmann wrote a good one there.  They actually played it at a Noblesville, IN show I saw in '92, but I think the show that set my brain on fire was '94 or '95. 

csb/ About 10+ years ago, I'm in Kauai with a group of friends.  Lose my shirt while kayaking.  Return the boat and head down the road to get snacks and a shirt.  Just grabbed first one in my size...picture of some guy in a boat at sunset with some inscription (didn't look, who cares).  I'm checking out and the guy in front of me...I knew exactly who he was (didn't know he lived there much of the year).  He looked at me and said, "Maybe the road to paradise isn't a road at all" smiled, and walked out to his car.  My buddy asks, "What did that guy say to you."  I repeated it, and I was like, "Oh man, Bill Kruetzmann just dropped some life lesson on me."  My buddy, no idea who Bill was, said, "Yeah dude, he was just reading your new shirt."  (I look down at the shirt's copy)...Dammit, it still counts to me as a life lesson!  

random thought---If you had told me in Noblesville that 25 years later, UT would be soliciting feedback from me about a new center for studying psychedelics to combat mental illness...I'd have spun off into a bad trip out of sheer paranoia..."Nah man, you're trying to trick me into admitting we took a hit earlier!"  But Bill was right, the road to how we get where we are wasn't really a road at all.  

I gotta be the only person from the John Birch Youth Brigade to ever attend 23 dead shows. 

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markstanco

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14 hours ago, Superhero said:

I. Can't. Stop. Watching. Videos. About. Shoe. Repair.

 

I was watching these a few months ago as well.  It was intriguing to me too.  The channel I was watching were two guys that owned a shop together, and the had an alabama/georgia accent.  I did learn a bit more about shew shining, so I took something away from it. 

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NWBuck

NWBuck 8590

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2 hours ago, markstanco said:

I was watching these a few months ago as well.  It was intriguing to me too.  The channel I was watching were two guys that owned a shop together, and the had an alabama/georgia accent.  I did learn a bit more about shew shining, so I took something away from it. 

Along the same lines, the whole "Repair Shop" show (used to be on Netflix, now on Discovery+ and YouTube) is perfect for "I want to lose an hour or two" moments

 

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markstanco

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i secretly judge the lives of people in front of me at the grocery store who unload their basket haphazardly and don't organize the items on the conveyor belt into logical groupings of produce, dry goods, cold, household, etc.

I do this too on the belt. Organize cold stuff, then veggies, then pantry stuff. OCD Bros unite!
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ztejas

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5 hours ago, mchookem said:

i secretly judge the lives of people in front of me at the grocery store who unload their basket haphazardly and don't organize the items on the conveyor belt into logical groupings of produce, dry goods, cold, household, etc.

Huh? I think about every aspect of every person's life that I happen to glance at long enough for me to formulate those thoughts.

Granted I'm absolutely crippled by physically-manifested anxiety but still... I'll take all of your money at the poker table. 

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8419

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8 hours ago, markstanco said:


I do this too on the belt. Organize cold stuff, then veggies, then pantry stuff. OCD Bros unite!

Same here.  Then I rage as the sacker just throws the groceries in the bags all willy nilly.  Cheese, lemons, and soap don't go in the same bag, motherfucker!  Does HEB train their sackers to do that shit?  Or maybe it's because the nearest HEB is in College Station.

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mchookem

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41 minutes ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Same here.  Then I rage as the sacker just throws the groceries in the bags all willy nilly.  Cheese, lemons, and soap don't go in the same bag, motherfucker!  Does HEB train their sackers to do that shit?  Or maybe it's because the nearest HEB is in College Station.

there is an elderly gentleman sacker at my HEB, he's quite possibly special needs. i will literally go to a different cashier just to avoid him, even if there is a longer line. not only does he bag things haphazardly...i will have more than enough bags but he will fill any one bag to the TOP, putting EVERYTHING into that one bag until it's top-heavy and unwieldy before he goes on to the next bag. i'm talking tossing cans and boxes on top of produce, laundry sheets in with dairy in with dog food...just filling every bag to the top with everything he can grab, so they are all super heavy! 

i just can't 😐 i mean yay and good for HEB for hiring folks that might otherwise have difficulty...but i scope out the checkout to avoid that gentleman on purpose so i don't have to make him feel bad, and if he tries to wander up to the one i'm at i will gently but firmly tell him 'thank you but i got it'. 

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Scheiss Meister

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I was a sacker at the hometown Brookshire Bros. in college.  We were trained on sacking cold things together, raw meats separated from everything else to prevent cross contamination, bread sacked to prevent crushing, eggs by themselves, soap and cleaners separate from food items, etc.  If we got something wrong, those German Oma customers would damn sure let us know.  Now the attitude seems to be "Hey, it's in the bag.  That's enough."  Pisses me off.

ETA - Like I said, nearest HEB to me is in College Station.  The population from which they hire is of limited intellect.

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Superhero

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17 hours ago, mchookem said:

i secretly judge the lives of people in front of me at the grocery store who unload their basket haphazardly and don't organize the items on the conveyor belt into logical groupings of produce, dry goods, cold, household, etc.

 

12 hours ago, markstanco said:

I do this too on the belt. Organize cold stuff, then veggies, then pantry stuff. OCD Bros unite!

In addition to sorting by foods, do you sort by what’s “crushable” - watermelons at the bottom, bananas at the top?

Because that’s next level OCD. 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21115

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4 hours ago, mchookem said:

there is an elderly gentleman sacker at my HEB, he's quite possibly special needs. i will literally go to a different cashier just to avoid him, even if there is a longer line. not only does he bag things haphazardly...i will have more than enough bags but he will fill any one bag to the TOP, putting EVERYTHING into that one bag until it's top-heavy and unwieldy before he goes on to the next bag. i'm talking tossing cans and boxes on top of produce, laundry sheets in with dairy in with dog food...just filling every bag to the top with everything he can grab, so they are all super heavy! 

i just can't 😐 i mean yay and good for HEB for hiring folks that might otherwise have difficulty...but i scope out the checkout to avoid that gentleman on purpose so i don't have to make him feel bad, and if he tries to wander up to the one i'm at i will gently but firmly tell him 'thank you but i got it'. 

That obviously sucks, but we have a Problem Bagger at our grocery store who has the opposite disorder - as soon as a bag is 20% full by normal standards, it goes into the cart and a new bag begins. It's especially irritating when it's just a few small and/or lightweight things and it's almost like carrying around an empty bag. 

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Brisketexan

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In addition to sorting by foods, do you sort by what’s “crushable” - watermelons at the bottom, bananas at the top?
Because that’s next level OCD. 

This is my only real basis for sorting. I don’t live far away from my HEB, so I don’t worry about cold stuff thawing etc. But I absolutely pull the heavy stuff (cans etc) out first, so they’ll go at the bottom of bags, and crushable items (eggs, bread, chips, some fruit and such) goes on the belt last.

But I don’t use produce plastic bags - they’re a waste. So…when my loose bundle of cilantro or parsley is headed down the end belt after the register, could ya grab it before it gets eaten by the metal guard at the end? Thanks.
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SHOOTER12

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On 1/7/2022 at 7:30 PM, mchookem said:

i secretly judge the lives of people in front of me at the grocery store who unload their basket haphazardly and don't organize the items on the conveyor belt into logical groupings of produce, dry goods, cold, household, etc.

 

On 1/7/2022 at 8:39 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I’m glad to know I’m not the only one 

 

On 1/8/2022 at 12:26 AM, markstanco said:


I do this too on the belt. Organize cold stuff, then veggies, then pantry stuff. OCD Bros unite!

Bunch of fucking women, the lot of you...

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8852

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On 1/8/2022 at 10:18 AM, mchookem said:

there is an elderly gentleman sacker at my HEB, he's quite possibly special needs. i will literally go to a different cashier just to avoid him, even if there is a longer line. not only does he bag things haphazardly...i will have more than enough bags but he will fill any one bag to the TOP, putting EVERYTHING into that one bag until it's top-heavy and unwieldy before he goes on to the next bag. i'm talking tossing cans and boxes on top of produce, laundry sheets in with dairy in with dog food...just filling every bag to the top with everything he can grab, so they are all super heavy! 

i just can't 😐 i mean yay and good for HEB for hiring folks that might otherwise have difficulty...but i scope out the checkout to avoid that gentleman on purpose so i don't have to make him feel bad, and if he tries to wander up to the one i'm at i will gently but firmly tell him 'thank you but i got it'. 

That's okay you arrogant no tipping mother fucker.  The next time you come in, I'm going to follow you to your car and jump in the back and start screaming help, help, call the police, kidnapper, elderly abuse ..

Old age and treachery and all that shit.....

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Guest Lobo

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Oh thank god, I thought I was the only OCD person that does that.  And I like all the scraggly bills in the middle with crisper ones on the outside and inside to fold better into the clip so everything is all flush at the bottom.  

"I keep the big bills on the outside" 

"That's a 5!"  

giddy-up

 

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