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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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SquishMitten

SquishMitten 10,459

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Don’t really know the right place to post this, but this is the best I could come up with.

Driving back from Dallas on Sunday, there was a fraternity charter bus way off in the grass between 35 and the access road. Maybe 30 yards into the grass, and sort of up the embankment. It couldn’t have come from the access road because there was a concrete barrier at the top of the hill, but it was at a weird angle and too far into the grass to have been intentional. All the frat bros were off the bus taking pictures and whatnot. Anybody know the story behind what happened? Best guess is the driver fell asleep, but I still don’t understand the physics of how it could’ve gotten to where it was

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tbone_

tbone_ 14,256

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Don’t really know the right place to post this, but this is the best I could come up with.

Driving back from Dallas on Sunday, there was a fraternity charter bus way off in the grass between 35 and the access road. Maybe 30 yards into the grass, and sort of up the embankment. It couldn’t have come from the access road because there was a concrete barrier at the top of the hill, but it was at a weird angle and too far into the grass to have been intentional. All the frat bros were off the bus taking pictures and whatnot. Anybody know the story behind what happened? Best guess is the driver fell asleep, but I still don’t understand the physics of how it could’ve gotten to where it was

The real question is were they able to save the keg?
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Superhero

Superhero 8,890

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We live about 1/2 mile from my kids' school. Most days my wife will walk them to school, but today she had a work call, so filled in...

I figured they're already 10 and 7, we live in a very safe area and there parents/kids everywhere. I walked them out the gate, pointed at a mom walking her kid to school, and said "Go, follow them, you'll be alright, trust me, you don't need me to take you guys, OMG you're almost in middle school, stop bein a little baby and just go with them."

Does that make me a bad dad?

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Blotto

Blotto 23,682

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4 hours ago, Superhero said:

Lemme check…

Daughter is sleeping in her bed and not on a pole. Guess I’m an okay dad for today. 

I think it's important that kids in middle school understand that there is a time for sleeping and a time for pole dancing, and at their age the middle of the night is for SLEEPING. 

Verdict-good dad!

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ABSR

ABSR 5,327

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14 hours ago, Superhero said:

We live about 1/2 mile from my kids' school. Most days my wife will walk them to school, but today she had a work call, so filled in...

I figured they're already 10 and 7, we live in a very safe area and there parents/kids everywhere. I walked them out the gate, pointed at a mom walking her kid to school, and said "Go, follow them, you'll be alright, trust me, you don't need me to take you guys, OMG you're almost in middle school, stop bein a little baby and just go with them."

Does that make me a bad dad?

Only if your wife finds out.

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markstanco

markstanco 12,653

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Phone notifications.

I counted notifications from emails, texts, cameras motions, social media, sports apps, etc on Wednesday on my 35 minute drive time to work. I got 22 notifications. It is infuriating to the point where I don’t even pay attention to emails on my phone or watch.

I shut down every notification except emails and texts and my life is so much better.

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Lurch

Lurch 5,940

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Phone notifications.

I counted notifications from emails, texts, cameras motions, social media, sports apps, etc on Wednesday on my 35 minute drive time to work. I got 22 notifications. It is infuriating to the point where I don’t even pay attention to emails on my phone or watch.

I shut down every notification except emails and texts and my life is so much better.

I learned to mute some of the work slack channels I’m a member of a few weeks ago and it was a game changer
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38 minutes ago, BTW said:

I realized this morning that I own 13 beds.  On one hand that seems like overkill, on the other hand, it might be nice to have some more.

Nice humblebrag. 

As a dad joke I started telling my kid "Look at how many tacos I own!" one night at dinner. I thought it was kind of funny.

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nnm

nnm 36,844

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4 hours ago, BTW said:

I realized this morning that I own 13 beds.  On one hand that seems like overkill, on the other hand, it might be nice to have some more.

If you want to depress yourself, take an inventory of all the Apple products you own or have paid for over the years—iPhones, iPads, macs, iPods, appleTV, subscriptions, etc. 

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45 minutes ago, nnm said:

If you want to depress yourself, take an inventory of all the Apple products you own or have paid for over the years—iPhones, iPads, macs, iPods, appleTV, subscriptions, etc. 

2 iPods, 3 iPads, 3 iPhones. 

Absolutely hate Macs, but absolutely love iPhones/iPads.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,453

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6 hours ago, BTW said:

I realized this morning that I own 13 beds.  On one hand that seems like overkill, on the other hand, it might be nice to have some more.

I assume this is spread over more than one residence?  Otherwise, you're either Mormon or in a Cult.  No judgement.  

It was only this past year or so that I realized, other than college when every roommate had his own TV...from growing up to my bachelor/grad school days to now with two kids and a fairly decent sized house...I've always been in a home with just 2 tv's.  Every other family on our street or in my peer group has like 6.  I have an old bulky flat-screen that is sorta our "third" but it's only plugged in when in-laws come and need the guest bedroom to broadcast FoxNews at Volume 99 from 7am to 11pm.  And sometimes I take into the garage with me if I'm gonna be working on a project for several hours and music ain't enough and wanna watch a game or something.  

But 95% of the time, my house has just 2 tv's and 1 DVD player.  1 in the playroom and 1 in the family room.  The living room, all the bedrooms, the office, kitchen, backyard, etc.  No TV's.  I bet I have fewer TV's connected than 90% of the homes/apartments in my school district.  And we don't really stream to devices either, neither do the kids.  Much easier to limit screen time this way than tracking 9 screens and tv's.  And here's the conclusion---no, it in no way leads to more sex.  Probably less.  So high five me.  /csb

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BTW

BTW 370

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Posted
2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

More important is how many of the 13 have you fucked in

I believe the number is 3

24 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I assume this is spread over more than one residence?  Otherwise, you're either Mormon or in a Cult.  No judgement.  

Correct. (on the multiple residences, not cult/mormon)

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,453

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I'm stuck with one house and 4 beds because my property taxes and utilities are trying to kill me in my sleep.  And the blood would only make the mattress weight more.

But back to random shit, this chakra/feng shui (sp?) broad told me about my sleep disruption.  And how it's based on the direction you put your head and feet.  I called bullshit because just a few years ago, even with kids I could sleep 9 hours if people left me the fuck alone.  Now, just a few years later and in actually better health...I can't sleep more than 5.  And my head has been north and my feet south for 16 years.  I know because I had to just pull our survey to sign off on a new fence and we are literally less than one degree from true north.  

Here's the fucked up part I went back and looked up the plot of each of the 23 mailing addresses I've ever lived in and all were within 0-5 degrees off from a true cardinal direction.  And I've spent precisely 44 of my 46 years on Earth sleeping with my head either true north or true south.  And it's freaking me out 'cause I've had sleep issues my whole life.  So I'm moving to the equator.

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37 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I assume this is spread over more than one residence?  Otherwise, you're either Mormon or in a Cult.  No judgement.  

It was only this past year or so that I realized, other than college when every roommate had his own TV...from growing up to my bachelor/grad school days to now with two kids and a fairly decent sized house...I've always been in a home with just 2 tv's.  Every other family on our street or in my peer group has like 6.  I have an old bulky flat-screen that is sorta our "third" but it's only plugged in when in-laws come and need the guest bedroom to broadcast FoxNews at Volume 99 from 7am to 11pm.  And sometimes I take into the garage with me if I'm gonna be working on a project for several hours and music ain't enough and wanna watch a game or something.  

But 95% of the time, my house has just 2 tv's and 1 DVD player.  1 in the playroom and 1 in the family room.  The living room, all the bedrooms, the office, kitchen, backyard, etc.  No TV's.  I bet I have fewer TV's connected than 90% of the homes/apartments in my school district.  And we don't really stream to devices either, neither do the kids.  Much easier to limit screen time this way than tracking 9 screens and tv's.  And here's the conclusion---no, it in no way leads to more sex.  Probably less.  So high five me.  /csb

I'm at two. Think I've always been at two. Living room, bedroom.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19,453

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Well, trust me...we're a rarity.  I would guess the average American household has ~2.5 TV's, but when take into account just married couples, nevermind kids, big houses, etc.  It's gotta be at least 3, if not 3.5+.  My mom's little 2/2 apartment outside Chicago, they have 3.  My cousin in Dripping Springs, where the TV is only on Sports or FoxNews has 5 and they're empty nesters.  There isn't anybody on my little street of 11 homes that has fewer than 5 TV's except us, and we're at 2.  And these are fair sized homes (not huge) with 2-3 kids each, plus some family living with 'em in in-law suites.  All three of my wife's sisters (no pics) have no children and in single-family homes...all have 4-5 tv's each.  Google says 2.5 tv's per home, 7 total screens...but again I'm just talking television sets.  I know people cut the cord 'n shit but many of us also don't watch anything on our screens except maybe a link to a youtube click or some shit.  It's just weird that people have thousands and thousands of dollars of idle hardware just sitting on their walls.  

Not good, bad, or indifferent, just odd to me.  40+ years in deciding on tv purchases and I've always just lived in a house with 2.  I guess I read more and spend more time with the kids this way but I sure as shit ain't any smarter or getting laid more.  Just found it random to think about.  I have 10 devices that can play my music library and several hundreds of hardcopy books.  But two TVs connected to content, one of which is already old 'n shitty.  Same situation I was in when I was 7.

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nnm

nnm 36,844

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We’ve never had more than two TVs functional in our house. 
Well, that’s not quite true. In our last house I had a small one in the master bedroom that I put in just in case I wanted to watch the end of a night game in there. I think we turned it on a total of 3 times in 5 years we had that house. 
Now we’re in a new (to us) retirement house on a lake in ETX, and we’re back to two.  One in the den, one in the LR. None in bedrooms. None in kitchen. None in dining room. None in garage. None on patio. I should probably put one out in our guest cabin, but haven’t gotten around to it. 

Edited by nnm
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