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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28777

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This isn’t very cool so I can’t put the pic there. But it’s kind of cool. If this one egg had been fertilized then it would’ve produced (fraternal) twins. I was making an omelette and it was the 3rd egg I cracked into the bowl, otherwise I would’ve cooked it sunny side up to get a pic of a fried egg with a double yolk. I did notice that its shell was a little longer on the y axis than the others’ but didn’t think anything of it before I cracked it  

IMG_8780.thumb.jpeg.0da0e135fcbd3dd2c054ae895388015b.jpeg

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Patricio Swayze

Patricio Swayze 17058

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I swear time has slowed down or maybe even stopped. Anxious as hell to get this day over with. Tired of this lady I am working with and her total inability to communicate. It’s the end of my work week, looking at a 4 day weekend. Pops is on the mend from heart surgery. Horns play Saturday, going to get some bbq tomorrow. This day needs to hurry the fuckity fuck up already.

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9380

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1 hour ago, Patricio Swayze said:

I swear time has slowed down or maybe even stopped. Anxious as hell to get this day over with. Tired of this lady I am working with and her total inability to communicate. It’s the end of my work week, looking at a 4 day weekend. Pops is on the mend from heart surgery. Horns play Saturday, going to get some bbq tomorrow. This day needs to hurry the fuckity fuck up already.

Some decent football on tonight, too. 

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Sandman

Sandman 3403

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Just now, Kennythetiger said:

Some decent football on tonight, too. 

The last 4-5 years on opening weekend, I always say "Football starts tonight and I'm gonna watch it, regardless of who's playing". I never make it more than a drive or two before I get disinterested and turn it off. Getting old is a bitch. 

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Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9380

Posted
Posted
Just now, Sandman said:

The last 4-5 years on opening weekend, I always say "Football starts tonight and I'm gonna watch it, regardless of who's playing". I never make it more than a drive or two before I get disinterested and turn it off. Getting old is a bitch. 

I at least fall asleep watching it. 

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GoPokes83

GoPokes83 2240

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Dilemma. I just finished making 4 pounds of taco meat when I saw the Fed Ex guy pull up outside. Went out to take the package from him and when I walked back into the kitchen my wife’s cat had its face buried in the pot eating away. My wife and daughter are at a meeting and will be home in a few minutes and they’d freak completely out and refuse to touch a bite of the meat if they knew what happened. I already know what I’m going to do, the dilemma is on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, just how bad should I feel?

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105110

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Dilemma. I just finished making 4 pounds of taco meat when I saw the Fed Ex guy pull up outside. Went out to take the package from him and when I walked back into the kitchen my wife’s cat had its face buried in the pot eating away. My wife and daughter are at a meeting and will be home in a few minutes and they’d freak completely out and refuse to touch a bite of the meat if they knew what happened. I already know what I’m going to do, the dilemma is on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, just how bad should I feel?

0. Heat it up, serve, enjoy.
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Guest

Guest

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Had dinner tonight with some longtime friends from work.  The 4 of us have 140 years of experience, and 2 of them also  have about 20 years of retirement between them.

Nobody ever talks about the respect and brotherly love you end up having for some folks who are just supposed to be co-workers.  Hurricanes/ holiday weeks( crazy in the grocery industry,) and constantly being there for each other just makes some shit different.

It was a very meaningful evening...

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52-80

52-80 19151

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Posted
19 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

Dilemma. I just finished making 4 pounds of taco meat when I saw the Fed Ex guy pull up outside. Went out to take the package from him and when I walked back into the kitchen my wife’s cat had its face buried in the pot eating away. My wife and daughter are at a meeting and will be home in a few minutes and they’d freak completely out and refuse to touch a bite of the meat if they knew what happened. I already know what I’m going to do, the dilemma is on a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the worst, just how bad should I feel?

So your wife’s pussy had its face buried deep in some taco meat huh?

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Born to Run

Born to Run 6569

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Posted
Sucks to hear about Jimmy Buffett, but we can all find some solace in the hopes that this puts an end to any future gatherings of Parrotheads.
They will probably keep touring with a Buffet hologram. That way the estate can keep selling Margaritaville: the shirt, the mug, ashtray, flashlight, buttplug, adult diapers, salsa etc


And my inlaws will go.
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52-80

52-80 19151

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Posted
26 minutes ago, Brothahorn said:

I don't think it's passive/aggressive if I forward the email that I sent you less than two weeks ago. You are asking for the same information I already sent you. I'm just nicely telling you to pay f'ing attention.

2 weeks is my threshold for repeating a non-critical email that went unanswered. Its when I start getting snippy, and just before i start cc’ing other people in it. 

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nnm

nnm 36378

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

Ive just learned 3 minutes ago that the distinction between bar- vs bat- mitzvah is based on the gender of the subject. 
 

(for modern kids tho? Theyre going to have to invent a whole new alphabet for it)

Kinda like inventing a whole new Spanish language because the original is inextricably based on two genders? 

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Guest

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Posted (edited)

I ordered a new Texas shirt from Homefield. Ordered it on August 22 and it's still not here yet. They say they print them all in house, so it was roughly two weeks before it even shipped. Now it's somewhere in Kentucky and taking its sweet time.

Love the look of the shirt, but damn. $40 for a t-shirt that takes three weeks to arrive? Won't be doing that again.

Edited by FirstTimeCaller
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nnm

nnm 36378

Posted
Posted
35 minutes ago, FirstTimeCaller said:

I ordered a new Texas shirt from Homefield. Ordered it on August 22 and it's still not here yet. They say they print them all in house, so it was roughly two weeks before it even shipped. Now it's somewhere in Kentucky and taking its sweet time.

Love the look of the shirt, but damn. $40 for a t-shirt that takes three weeks to arrive? Won't be doing that again.

Tshirt fan status confirmed. 

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AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11758

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So, I just got an email in my normal new email inbox.

The subject title was " Your Apple ID has been suspended" 

So yeah, I know thats a phish email send to millions of email addresses. 

but here is my bitch.

 

How in the holy fuck could THAT subject title be allowed to be delivered to ANY fucking email address if the fucking sender isnt from the known Apple notifications email???

 

how on earth have the email companies NOT been able to figure out to write codes that have specific brand name companies or streaming services "account is locked" emails get auto filtered as non-deliverable?

example:

"Your Netflix account has been compromised"  sent from  netf1ix12345678910@netflix.yahoo.com

"your Verizon account has been hacked" sent from  Vereezon3@dewey.screwum.and.howe.com

seriously I know it wouldnt kill all spam but holy fuck it would cut down on 90% of the stuff that gets older folks especially  in trouble.  

 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19450

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The parishioners at my wife's Catholic church accept that Jesus was crucified, died, and resurrected on a different date every single year, according to a calendar that did not yet exist based on the Spring Solstice, A Full Moon, and the following Sunday.  And that we are to commemorate this miracle by hiding colored eggs for children and eating the one food he was forbidden to eat-Ham.  But they don't believe me when I say we shouldn't refer to the Easter Bunny as "He/Him" because it's to represent fertility, so the Easter Bunny is female.  That's just a bridge too far.  Sure enough every year, the kids ask us, "I wonder what he'll bring me?" or "I wanna take a picture with him!"   

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