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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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YGIFS

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I don't really hang out at parties where young kids are talking about the Easter Bunny.  That's kinda your jam dude.  ;) 

But yeah, about a year ago I started doing a lot of service/volunteer work at her church in addition my other civic engagement.  Part of my mid-life attempt to better myself (insert joke about it not going well here)  So hours and hours a month with these Catholic parishioners.  It's kinda funny, we talk about everything except Catholicism.  Weather, water, football, fishing, etc.  But every now and again they'll invite me to a bible study or couple's retreat or whatever.  And they want to know if I have questions.  And I asked, while cleaning out coffee machine water lines, "Why do people assume the Easter Bunny is a he"?  And those guys spent an hour trying to figure it out.  And the saddest part is we were all sober.  I don't know how but having grown up in Chicago surrounded by working class Catholics from Irish, Italian, Swedish, Polish, and German descent who were all raging alcoholics...my wife's family and her parish is depressingly sober.  But probably what I need right now in life.

Another random thought-how do people not see a Lawn/Tree con coming a mile away?  Our HOA just bought a dozen pallets of grass to re-do a fair sized section of our park.  Drove home just now and saw it all sitting out there in the sun.  The board sent out an email celebrating the exciting development and that we got a "great deal" on the grass.  Yeah, 'cause it's an extreme draught.  And the grass will be lucky to not burn.  The lowest bidder on a grass/tree project in Texas in 2023 is not who you should be doing business with.  We can wait until November and make a rational decision.  But apparently somebody had a fucking groupon or something.    

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Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

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Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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I'm so damn tired of the middle-aged, homeowner, parent, money-spending. Utility bill was $550 due to the insane heat (seems like most of that is just random fees).

Seems like any time I walk out of the house, it's $40 out of my pocket. There's just always something that I seem to "need" to spend money on. 

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YGIFS

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Or pay a total stranger to take your kids into the woods to spend the night. 

Oh wait, that's the Boy Scouts.  Or the Catholic Church.  One of the two.  

Yeah, a lot of real life and its bills is like David Puddy selling Jerry that Saab.  Overage fee, finder's fee, dealer fee.  Whenever I look at our CoA bill and I have to pay every month for my trash bin as if I have some choice to use something else.  "Bin Leasing Fee-$9?  What?".................."How you gonna throw away your trash Lobo?"  Yellow paint fee............

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On 9/8/2023 at 7:44 AM, FirstTimeCaller said:

I ordered a new Texas shirt from Homefield. Ordered it on August 22 and it's still not here yet. They say they print them all in house, so it was roughly two weeks before it even shipped. Now it's somewhere in Kentucky and taking its sweet time.

Love the look of the shirt, but damn. $40 for a t-shirt that takes three weeks to arrive? Won't be doing that again.

Update: Still not here. Last update (from yesterday), it was in Irving. Tomorrow will be 21 days from my order. Like I'm ordering something in 1992 from a mail-order catalog. I bought it thinking I'd have something before the first game.

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Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4056

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8 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Not so much a random thought, more like a random question...

My 15th wedding anniversary is coming up next week. What should I get her?

 

(Other than the plain ass $2,500 Van Cleef earrings that she really wants)

Traditionally the 15th wedding anniversary is a gift of crystal........whatever the fuck that means.

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15 hours ago, deft said:

I’ve got $5 here that says you’ll definitely have it before the first game of next year.

Just got it. Nice shirt... but the logo is printed about 2" too high on the chest. I'm not going through a return.

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YGIFS

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3 hours ago, Superhero said:

Not so much a random thought, more like a random question...

My 15th wedding anniversary is coming up next week. What should I get her?

 

(Other than the plain ass $2,500 Van Cleef earrings that she really wants)

I always thought the earrings worn by Lee Van Cleef in "Escape from New York" really detracted from his character.  No idea why they did that.  

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Lurch

Lurch 5930

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Posted
Not so much a random thought, more like a random question...
My 15th wedding anniversary is coming up next week. What should I get her?
 
(Other than the plain ass $2,500 Van Cleef earrings that she really wants)

Break the cycle of expectations. The annual gift traditions are bullshit. Better to address it now than wish you had 10 years from now.
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nnm

nnm 36360

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5 hours ago, Superhero said:

Not so much a random thought, more like a random question...

My 15th wedding anniversary is coming up next week. What should I get her?

 

(Other than the plain ass $2,500 Van Cleef earrings that she really wants)

We stopped getting anniversary presents for each other a long time ago. We’re fortunate enough to be in the position that if we want something, we buy it. We don’t wait for birthdays, Xmas, anniversary, etc. And neither of us needs more useless kitschy crap. 

What we do instead is for milestone anniversaries, we take a nice trip, without kids, complete with fine dining, etc. Kids are grown and married now, so the without kids part is easy.

20, it was Banff. 25, Provence-Côte d’Azur. 30, Israel. 

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Underdog

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5 minutes ago, nnm said:

We stopped getting anniversary presents for each other a long time ago. We’re fortunate enough to be in the position that if we want something, we buy it. We don’t wait for birthdays, Xmas, anniversary, etc. And neither of us needs more useless kitschy crap. 

What we do instead is for milestone anniversaries, we take a nice trip, without kids, complete with fine dining, etc. Kids are grown and married now, so the without kids part is easy.

20, it was Banff. 25, Provence-Côte d’Azur. 30, Israel. 

This is the way. 

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52-80

52-80 19150

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The biggest scam in the world is laptop locking cables. 

Img_29337830.jpg

Hear me out.  This basic piece of shit is $50 retail, minimum, and goes beyond $100+ for combinations.

Personal consumers don't use them so they don't give a fuck.  Corporations require them so there's guaranteed demand.  And they're priced just below the threshold where corporate buyers will give enough of a shit to RFP and comparison shop alternatives. 

For reasons not explicable by anything but a scam, you periodically have to replace the locks, because the locking dimensions changed over time, where all my old locks (amongst the many ive lost) no longer fit my newer laptops.  Like, really, these things can be snipped with gradeschool scissors but suddenly we need to evolve the standards?  This isn't an HDMI port.

Anyway, Kensington is probably printing mega cash with this scheme.  They're part of a larger conglomerate who don't expose that specific brand's margins but I bet it's fucking banging.

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Superhero

Superhero 8828

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Posted
22 hours ago, nnm said:

We stopped getting anniversary presents for each other a long time ago. We’re fortunate enough to be in the position that if we want something, we buy it. We don’t wait for birthdays, Xmas, anniversary, etc. And neither of us needs more useless kitschy crap. 

What we do instead is for milestone anniversaries, we take a nice trip, without kids, complete with fine dining, etc. Kids are grown and married now, so the without kids part is easy.

20, it was Banff. 25, Provence-Côte d’Azur. 30, Israel. 

Yeah. We usually just get our own shit, but will tell the other person in advance if it’s a bigger purchase. We’ll (me) ask the other person to think about it, but have never said no.

Apparently she got herself a Van Cleef necklace a few months ago, and would buy the earrings herself if I don’t get it for her. So we spend the money anyway and I get the brownie points  


 

And yeah, those earrings are expensive AF and aren’t worth the money. But she gets her shoes and jewelry. I get my guitar and camping gear. 

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deft

deft 6844

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Posted
The biggest scam in the world is laptop locking cables. 
Img_29337830.jpg
Hear me out.  This basic piece of shit is $50 retail, minimum, and goes beyond $100+ for combinations.
Personal consumers don't use them so they don't give a fuck.  Corporations require them so there's guaranteed demand.  And they're priced just below the threshold where corporate buyers will give enough of a shit to RFP and comparison shop alternatives. 
For reasons not explicable by anything but a scam, you periodically have to replace the locks, because the locking dimensions changed over time, where all my old locks (amongst the many ive lost) no longer fit my newer laptops.  Like, really, these things can be snipped with gradeschool scissors but suddenly we need to evolve the standards?  This isn't an HDMI port.
Anyway, Kensington is probably printing mega cash with this scheme.  They're part of a larger conglomerate who don't expose that specific brand's margins but I bet it's fucking banging.

Can I share with you the glory of gold plated Monster cables?
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GoPokes83

GoPokes83 2240

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I’ll never understand humans. Kid that lived down the road from us when I was growing up. Regular happy kid, loving parents, popular…. Just a normal kid. Hadn’t heard much about him after HS, would run into him once in awhile, he was an attorney somewhere out of state and seemed to be doing well. My sister got a friend request from him a few days ago but didn’t recognize him at first. Turns out after his parents died he found out he’d been adopted at birth. He did some name search thing and found out his birth mom’s last name was Irish. He’s changed his last name to his birth mom’s name and his first to some old Irish name and wears kilts all the time. His FB page is all Ireland all the time, Irish politics, music, history, the works. This idiot had fantastic parents up until the day they died and he probably didn’t give 2 shits about Ireland up until his very late 50’s, now it’s his entire adopted identity.

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ztejas

ztejas 43418

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5 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:

I’ll never understand humans. Kid that lived down the road from us when I was growing up. Regular happy kid, loving parents, popular…. Just a normal kid. Hadn’t heard much about him after HS, would run into him once in awhile, he was an attorney somewhere out of state and seemed to be doing well. My sister got a friend request from him a few days ago but didn’t recognize him at first. Turns out after his parents died he found out he’d been adopted at birth. He did some name search thing and found out his birth mom’s last name was Irish. He’s changed his last name to his birth mom’s name and his first to some old Irish name and wears kilts all the time. His FB page is all Ireland all the time, Irish politics, music, history, the works. This idiot had fantastic parents up until the day they died and he probably didn’t give 2 shits about Ireland up until his very late 50’s, now it’s his entire adopted identity.

I think you're underrating how big of a shock that is. Sounds like he's processing it by leaning in to his biological parents' roots. Could just be a phase, who knows. 

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2 minutes ago, GoPokes83 said:


Don’t go throwing an ice cold bucket of logic on my perfectly good rant my man!

Don't get me wrong - it sounds funny and over the top.

Just saying, it's pretty fucking crazy to find that out that late in life. Imagine if you found out one of your kids (assuming you have kids) had a different dad. You might snap a little bit to say the least. 

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YGIFS

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Imagine you go through your whole life, well in adulthood, thinking you were born someplace normal.  From a nice family, good education, decent community, etc., etc.  You have a SS#, DL#, etc.  Just assume you were from near where you first remember being around age 4 like every other human in existence.  Then one day, you're cleaning out your deceased parents filing cabinet.  And you find your original birth certificate in a dusty folder that you have to handle delicately since it's already starting to fall apart.  There'e a marriage license, the title to the house, and your little sister's birth certificate.  You go to the back of the file, and there's your birth certificate and much to your horror and dismay---they had lied to you.  You were their biological son alright, born of healthy height and length at the exact time they said you were.  But you were born in Oklahoma.  So in a fit of confusion, you decide to embrace Oklahoma traditions and culture.  But it's too late, you can't.  Not because they deceived you and it's too late to assimilate.  It's just that you've grown up in modern civilization and even learned to read.  

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ABSR

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4 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

I’ll never understand humans. Kid that lived down the road from us when I was growing up. Regular happy kid, loving parents, popular…. Just a normal kid. Hadn’t heard much about him after HS, would run into him once in awhile, he was an attorney somewhere out of state and seemed to be doing well. My sister got a friend request from him a few days ago but didn’t recognize him at first. Turns out after his parents died he found out he’d been adopted at birth. He did some name search thing and found out his birth mom’s last name was Irish. He’s changed his last name to his birth mom’s name and his first to some old Irish name and wears kilts all the time. His FB page is all Ireland all the time, Irish politics, music, history, the works. This idiot had fantastic parents up until the day they died and he probably didn’t give 2 shits about Ireland up until his very late 50’s, now it’s his entire adopted identity.

Yeah, but now he can't get a job because no one will hire the Irish!

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nnm

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29 minutes ago, BearSchlong said:

So predictably, he's going to become an alcoholic.

I have tweezers strategically dispersed in my truck console, briefcase, suitcase, desk drawer, and dopp kit, kitchen junk drawer in case I pull out a hearing aid and the silicone ear dome remains in my ear. About once a month I have to go digging for one.

Same thing with nail clippers and toothpicks. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28776

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1 hour ago, BearSchlong said:

So predictably, he's going to become an alcoholic.

I have tweezers strategically dispersed in my truck console, briefcase, suitcase, desk drawer, and dopp kit, kitchen junk drawer in case I pull out a hearing aid and the silicone ear dome remains in my ear. About once a month I have to go digging for one.

What?

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8800

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On 8/13/2023 at 5:36 PM, FirstTimeCaller said:

Feet on the dash. I've noticed it's always a female. I have no idea how that works either because my knees hurt just thinking about hyperextending.

Put their feet on my dash, their feet are going to be hurting from walking on hot pavement when i throw them out...unless they were naked of course.

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nbmishoid

nbmishoid 949

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On 9/12/2023 at 2:24 PM, FirstTimeCaller said:

I'm so damn tired of the middle-aged, homeowner, parent, money-spending. Utility bill was $550 due to the insane heat (seems like most of that is just random fees).

Seems like any time I walk out of the house, it's $40 out of my pocket. There's just always something that I seem to "need" to spend money on. 

Wait til you get old Then everything is $15k

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40832

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On 9/14/2023 at 3:13 PM, Superhero said:

Yeah. We usually just get our own shit, but will tell the other person in advance if it’s a bigger purchase. We’ll (me) ask the other person to think about it, but have never said no.

Apparently she got herself a Van Cleef necklace a few months ago, and would buy the earrings herself if I don’t get it for her. So we spend the money anyway and I get the brownie points  


 

And yeah, those earrings are expensive AF and aren’t worth the money. But she gets her shoes and jewelry. I get my guitar and camping gear. 

I got Mrs. Brat this $2,000 bauble for our 56th in June:


 

35CED9E1-FC3D-424F-B8CA-CD2B44EF6F15.jpeg

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bmbmd

bmbmd 1027

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Posted (edited)

 

Live Bear Found Inside Disney World’s Magic Kingdom

Posted by:  Sarahfina LoFaso  September 18, 2023

 
Bear in Tom Sawyer Island
Credit: D23 / National Geographic 

No, we are not talking about the Country Bear Jamboree! News broke this morning that a live bear was found in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. You can only imagine the Cast Members’ surprise with this special Guest inside the Park.

 

According to Mickey Views, the bear was discovered before the Park’s opening. Additionally, the bear was discovered on Tom Sawyer Island. However, the reports have yet to be confirmed by Walt Disney World; it’s thought that the bear may be in the trees or in a cave on Tom Sawyer Island. Due to the shocking events prior to Magic Kindom’s opening time of 9:00 a.m., parts of the Park remain closed.

“This discovery has prompted Disney to adjust the opening procedure for the park, opening only the right side of the Park while crews remove the furry friend and ensure the only bears in the park are the Country Bear characters in Frontierland,” Mickey Views writes.

Edited by bmbmd
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Armybrat

Armybrat 40832

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Anyway, a change of subject:

https://www.livescience.com/61966-how-much-you-poop-in-lifetime.html

Quote

The amount of poo produced by a single person starts to add up when you calculate poop production over years and decades.

Starting with an average daily amount of about 14 ounces (400 grams), the total poop production in a week's time would be about 6 lbs. (2.8 kilograms). In a year, a single person would yield about 320 lbs. (145 kg) of poop — just a little more than an adult panda weighs.

In the U.S., the average life expectancy for men is about 76 years old, and for women, it is around 81 years old. Therefore, a man living to age 76 would produce about 24,320 lbs. (11,030 kg) of poop over his lifetime, and a woman living to age 81 would produce about 25,920 lbs. (11,757 kg) — so a lifetime of a woman's poop weighs about as much as three adult male hippos.

 

Edited by Armybrat
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ztejas

ztejas 43418

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3 minutes ago, bmbmd said:

 

Live Bear Found Inside Disney World’s Magic Kingdom

Posted by:  Sarahfina LoFaso  September 18, 2023

 
Bear in Tom Sawyer Island
Credit: D23 / National Geographic 

No, we are not talking about the Country Bear Jamboree! News broke this morning that a live bear was found in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. You can only imagine the Cast Members’ surprise with this special Guest inside the Park.

 

According to Mickey Views, the bear was discovered before the Park’s opening. Additionally, the bear was discovered on Tom Sawyer Island. However, the reports have yet to be confirmed by Walt Disney World; it’s thought that the bear may be in the trees or in a cave on Tom Sawyer Island. Due to the shocking events prior to Magic Kindom’s opening time of 9:00 a.m., parts of the Park remain closed.

“This discovery has prompted Disney to adjust the opening procedure for the park, opening only the right side of the Park while crews remove the furry friend and ensure the only bears in the park are the Country Bear characters in Frontierland,” Mickey Views writes.

It's a damn country bear jambaroo around here. 

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