Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[Armybrat 40839]

Agreed, and all three were very warm-blooded women who dngaf. But at the same time were gracious and not trashy like many of their contemporaries and a lot of today’s celebs.

[52-80 19152]

The whole banksy fad is so cringe. At first its mildly interesting like “oh some clever ‘subversive’ street art, neat”. 

And then it just became a huge gimmick. Oooh nobody knows who he is. Oooh he destroyed his painting before people could buy it. Insert gigantic eye-roll and jerk-off gif here. 

[ajax 2611]

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down her throat to make herself puke.

So she starts puking all over me in my dream, and I'm thrashing around in bed going "No! Don't!"

My wife shakes me awake. And then she asked me what my nightmare was about.

I told her I was being chased by tigers.

[Armybrat 40839]

21 minutes ago, ajax said:

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down her throat to make herself puke.

So she starts puking all over me in my dream, and I'm thrashing around in bed going "No! Don't!"

My wife shakes me awake. And then she asked me what my nightmare was about.

I told her I was being chased by tigers.

 

[Underdog 28623]

That time of year to ignore some radio stations that are already playing Christmas music. 

Wife was displeased with my turkey purchase the other day($64.00 bucks!), we found a cheaper one at another grocer, so she dug out the receipt from the trash and took it back.  

[YGIFS 19450]

5 hours ago, ajax said:

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down her throat to make herself puke.

So she starts puking all over me in my dream, and I'm thrashing around in bed going "No! Don't!"

My wife shakes me awake. And then she asked me what my nightmare was about.

I told her I was being chased by tigers.

Ajax wife 20 minutes later "Hey...wake up again!  This tiger chasing you.  What was her name?" 

32 minutes ago, Underdog said:

That time of year to ignore some radio stations that are already playing Christmas music. 

Wife was displeased with my turkey purchase the other day($64.00 bucks!), we found a cheaper one at another grocer, so she dug out the receipt from the trash and took it back.  

I was today years old when I learned you could return a dead turkey.  I knew you could return a live one for store credit, but don't ask how I know that.

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

The bitters label should fit on the bitters bottle. 

[Boss Hogg 808]

As I stand here freezing my ass off waiting for a soccer game to start I wonder, when did the move where you half ass bend over and wave at the ground with both arms become a ubiquitous warm up move? I’m early 40s and grew up in rural small town, but I don’t recall ever seeing that until my kids started sports.  Seems useless. Whatever.

[After irth 1243]

On 11/9/2023 at 7:29 PM, Underdog said:

That time of year to ignore some radio stations that are already playing Christmas music. 

Wife was displeased with my turkey purchase the other day($64.00 bucks!), we found a cheaper one at another grocer, so she dug out the receipt from the trash and took it back.  

I would return the wife at that point. My turkey…my rules!

csb time: Our first holiday together, my wife had the nerve to balk at the 28# I brought home to our apartment.  “Why so big?  Such a waste.”

I successfully brined it in a meat bucket packed with ice in the bathtub, and then roasted it beautifully for the holiday. She never complained about the Turkey Tetrazzini later that weekend, or the Gumbo a few weeks later, or the quarts of stock I put up.
 

She, too, wanted me to return it. She, too, was wrong.  

Edited November 15, 2023 by After irth

[52-80 19152]

On 11/11/2023 at 4:16 PM, Boss Hogg said:

As I stand here freezing my ass off waiting for a soccer game to start I wonder, when did the move where you half ass bend over and wave at the ground with both arms become a ubiquitous warm up move? I’m early 40s and grew up in rural small town, but I don’t recall ever seeing that until my kids started sports.  Seems useless. Whatever.

ive played basketball since i was a kid, and still dont understand this one

 

[Superhero 8830]

The Running Man movie is NOTHING like the book other than sharing a few names.

As with most film adaptations, the books is so much better. 

[bernorange 8361]

38 minutes ago, Superhero said:

The Running Man movie is NOTHING like the book other than sharing a few names.

As with most film adaptations, the books is so much better. 

It was not a great movie, but there was something rather surreal about Richard Dawson delivering the following dialogue:

Quote

You look pissed, Ben. Believe me, you got every right to be. But hey, will you just let me explain. This is television, that's all it is. It's nothing to do with people, it's to do with the ratings. For fifty years, we've told them what to eat, what to drink, what to wear... for Christ's sake, Ben, don't you understand? Americans love television. They wean their kids on it. Listen. They love game shows, they love wrestling, they love sports and violence. So what do we do? We give 'em *what they want*! We're number one, Ben, that's all that counts, believe me. I've been in the business thirty years.

when you consider how he basically sexually assaulted women contestants on the air as the host of Family Feud for roughly a decade.

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

When typing a consonant-starting initialism (eg MLB) do you use a or an?  A MLB team? An MLB team?

[Prepuce of Doom 21071]

Just now, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

When typing a consonant-starting initialism (eg MLB) do you use a or an?  A MLB team? An MLB team?

An, because if spoken aloud, it would mimic the sound of a vowel. 

[52-80 19152]

My favorite cultural half-lore is the Japanese are such obsessive perfectionists, the best of everything in the world exists in that country alone. 
 

Like you can plausibly believe that in the suburbs outside Osaka theres a middle aged man who spent 15 years and half his life savings apprenticing in a Budapest etterem, and now he cooks a pork goulash so good it’ll make a Hungarian grandma cry. 

[burntorangebongos 10710]

Note to self: Don't ever try to look at you tube and fix your plumbing yourself again!
My toilet has been running for a week now in the master bath. Back about 8 months ago, then other toilet was running and I called a plumber about it and another bigger issue. He could not fix the bigger issue and when he went to change the fill valve in my toilet, it wouldn't fit and he said he'd have to go to home depot to get a new one that would. I did not want to pay him for his trip and time at Home Depot so he did what he could to make it run less and was gone. Fucking service call for nothing, really.

This time I go to Home Depot and buy 2 fucking toilet kits for my low flow fucking toilets. 
I was going to call a plumber but thought hey, maybe I can make it stop running until he comes out and I watched a you tube and tried adjusting things like it said. Bad plan, man! Now the valve to cut off the water does not seem to be working and the bitch is running like a russian race horse. For a while, it was squirting on the wall from the back tank but I fixed that at least. Fuuuuuuck, hurry up and get here Mr. 24 hour plumber man. Sheesh
 

[Lurch 5930]

That’s the worst. Have to kill the water at the street to fix it. Had the exact same problem while fixing a fill valve myself.

Other than that, replacing/tuning your fill valves is probably something you should get comfortable doing. I’ve probably done a dozen by now. They just don’t last

[Prepuce of Doom 21071]

14 minutes ago, Lurch said:

That’s the worst. Have to kill the water at the street to fix it. Had the exact same problem while fixing a fill valve myself.

Other than that, replacing/tuning your fill valves is probably something you should get comfortable doing. I’ve probably done a dozen by now. They just don’t last

Modern toilets all seem to be so stupidly proprietary with their fill valve mechanisms. I have learned the hard way that it's important to match the exact same part number - not merely a part with the same name from the same company that's allegedly cross-compatible (but in reality isn't, due to a very minor difference....)

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

very timely advice.  i'm sitting here waiting for a plumber this morning thinking 'nah, i'm just going to do it myself.'  i'll take it as a sign from the gods.

[Born to Run 6569]

If you have an older house, change out all your cut-offs and supply hoses. The former is you can just shut off a toilet when it invariably malfunctions and fix it at your leisure, the latter so you don't have a $10 hose rupture and flood your house.

[Lurch 5930]

1 hour ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Modern toilets all seem to be so stupidly proprietary with their fill valve mechanisms. I have learned the hard way that it's important to match the exact same part number - not merely a part with the same name from the same company that's allegedly cross-compatible (but in reality isn't, due to a very minor difference....)

Yep, so I just replace the whole mechanism rather than just parts

[burntorangebongos 10710]

3 hours ago, Lurch said:

That’s the worst. Have to kill the water at the street to fix it. Had the exact same problem while fixing a fill valve myself.

Other than that, replacing/tuning your fill valves is probably something you should get comfortable doing. I’ve probably done a dozen by now. They just don’t last

That is exactly what I tried to do but I don’t have man hands and the right tool so I couldn’t budge it. The plumber had the tool and did it when he arrived. By then I was just flushing the tank and it was under control.

[nnm 36386]

40 minutes ago, burntorangebongos said:

That is exactly what I tried to do but I don’t have man hands and the right tool so I couldn’t budge it. The plumber had the tool and did it when he arrived. By then I was just flushing the tank and it was under control.

[tbone_ 14118]

I have something called an ejector pump for my plumbing. Because the sewer in the street is above my house, there needs to be a pump to get it up there to then gravity flow on from there.

Well it quit working the other day. Turned out not be not a simple fix as many of the parts had deteriorated. My guy spent three solid days (they first was 12 hours) like this



With his head in this


To make what used to look like this


Now look like this.


Surprise expense of $8,100 was fun. And after seeing what all he had to deal with, I think I was under charged. No wonder there a no new plumbers these days.

[Prepuce of Doom 21071]

I have a similar setup - my personal Shittorium is in our basement. 

We had a plumber out for one thing or another a while back, and he kept asking us oblique questions about how often the basement toilet gets used, etc., in such a manner that it became clear that he didn't exactly believe our answers. After a few rounds of his gentle interrogation, I finally asked him what he was getting at, and he admitted that there was a surprising dearth of toilet paper in the ejector pump holding tank, which in his view was inconsistent with a daily beshitment. 

When I pointed out the bidet, it all finally made sense to him. 

Edited November 17, 2023 by Prepuce of Doom

[Scheiss Meister 8407]

18 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

I have something called an ejector pump for my plumbing. Because the sewer in the street is above my house, there needs to be a pump to get it up there to then gravity flow on from there.

Well it quit working the other day. Turned out not be not a simple fix as many of the parts had deteriorated. My guy spent three solid days (they first was 12 hours) like this



With his head in this


To make what used to look like this


Now look like this.


Surprise expense of $8,100 was fun. And after seeing what all he had to deal with, I think I was under charged. No wonder there a no new plumbers these days.

Folks don't realize how challenging ejector pumps, or any pump for that matter, can be.  Especially when they are installed in a space like that one.  Thank you for understanding the challenge the plumber faced.

[Lurch 5930]

Note to self: Do not buy house below shitter evacuation point

 

Relatedly:

 

Edited November 17, 2023 by Lurch

[tbone_ 14118]

The thing I learned about ejector pumps is a) try not to buy a house with one, b) if you do, expect problems because c) there is no standard design and builders will throw whatever together to pass inspection without thought to workability over time, how easy/hard it is to work on, etc etc. Then no one will ever do any maintenance to it whatsoever until it breaks. Then good luck finding an old ass plumber who understands them because they will all be retired soon. The two young guys that looked at first had zero clue what to do.

[tbone_ 14118]

However, as a result of being on the side of a cliff, I get dope ass views of the sunrise





which may or may not offset the hassle of the ejector pump.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21905]

If you live on the side of a cliff why doesn’t your shit just run downhill?

[deft 6845]

What’s the difference between these shirts?

[52-80 19152]

Michigan has better font

[tbone_ 14118]

If you live on the side of a cliff why doesn’t your shit just run downhill?

Because a they can’t run a pipe down the cliff and b the road below is a major arterial and they would never allow residential laterals to tap into the main under a big road like that.

[Scheiss Meister 8407]

Last night I made a pot of well seasoned, delicious pinto beans for supper.  Today comes the reekoning.  

[tbone_ 14118]

Hope your ejector pump is up to snuff

[Bevo&Pevo 5131]

On 11/18/2023 at 9:28 AM, Scheiss Meister said:

Last night I made a pot of well seasoned, delicious pinto beans for supper.  Today comes the reekoning.  

Evidently, I'm a day behind.  Fixin' to go make some cornbread to go with 'em. 

[Bevo&Pevo 5131]

Ikea vs B&P.

Their idea use some type of cushion to protect the "veneer" and work off your knees.  Nope.  Quick check with a tape measure, looks like it will work off the kitchen countertop.  My back and knees say, "thank you".   Round 2, they want me to use their little chicken shit gadget tool to screw in 20 fasteners.  Nope.  DeWalt says "I got this".  Fingers say, "thank you". 

 

[Brisketexan 105122]

Driving down 35 back from a wedding in Dallas. Passed through Waxahachie, and had a thought:

If I ever opened a depilatory studio there, I’d call it “Wax My Hachie.”

[Scheiss Meister 8407]

5 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Driving down 35 back from a wedding in Dallas. Passed through Waxahachie, and had a thought:

If I ever opened a depilatory studio there, I’d call it “Wax My Hachie.”

Or open a strip club called Watch My Hoochie.

[ScottS 1062]

15 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Driving down 35 back from a wedding in Dallas. Passed through Waxahachie, and had a thought:

If I ever opened a depilatory studio there, I’d call it “Wax My Hachie.”

 

15 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

Or open a strip club called Watch My Hoochie.

Probably a shopping center somewhere in Waxahachie that has space for both.  Seems like having a depilatory studio next door to a strip club would just make good business sense.

[Patricio Swayze 17058]

Refried beans are Mexican hummus.

[nnm 36386]

6 hours ago, Patricio Swayze said:

Refried beans are Mexican hummus.

Bean dip. 

[mchookem 16330]

there are few culinary failures i hate more than a disappointing cinnamon roll 😠  (dry/hard, packed with raisins, not enough cinnamon, bad icing, etc.)

maybe bad calamari. i will not hesitate to send that shit back.

[thunderlounge 7825]

4 minutes ago, mchookem said:

there are few culinary failures i hate more than a disappointing cinnamon roll 😠  (dry/hard, packed with raisins, not enough cinnamon, bad icing, etc.)

When I make cinnamon rolls I coat the shit out of it with cinnamon. To the point where I think “that’s a fuckin shitload of cinnamon,” and then I hit it a few more times.

Icing is always a cream cheese base, never butter. Not a fan of buttercream.

 

[YGIFS 19450]

In law Thanksgiving pushed to Friday before UT game.  Cool with me.  So the plan to eat light tonight is scrapped.  They bought NY strips and asked me grill them.  So here we go.  
 

gotta cook nine of them well done+ with no char marks and no juice running of any kind.  While trying to parallel grill mine to medium rare and pull them all at the same time so they don’t see what I’ve done.  Just seeing a red/pink steak; they’ll think I did them all like that.  
 

I’m no Aaron Franklin but ain’t no fucking Doug Henning either.  

[nnm 36386]

13 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

In law Thanksgiving pushed to Friday before UT game.  Cool with me.  So the plan to eat light tonight is scrapped.  They bought NY strips and asked me grill them.  So here we go.  
 

gotta cook nine of them well done+ with no char marks and no juice running of any kind.  While trying to parallel grill mine to medium rare and pull them all at the same time so they don’t see what I’ve done.  Just seeing a red/pink steak; they’ll think I did them all like that.  
 

I’m no Aaron Franklin but ain’t no fucking Doug Henning either.  

Dude, return their strips and buy some skirt or flank steak, which you can cut in the shape of a strip. Pocket the difference. There is no sense in mutilating a good cut of meat like that. At well done, no one can tell the difference anyway. 
Keep your strip and cook it the way God intended. 

[YGIFS 19450]

The sea was angry that day my friends.  Like El Lobo trying to send back meat at a Tom Thumb on Thanksgiving Day.  

Edited November 22, 2023 by YGIFS

[Underdog 28623]

Our city comes around twice every fall to pick up /vacuum leaves before snowfall.  They came by our place yesterday after I spent previous 2 days dumping leaves curbside… timing is everything in some cases. 

[Brothahorn 10087]

It's bullshit that major grocery stores are open today. If you really gave a damn about your employees you would give them the whole day off. Instead, you make them work a full day because some jackass, who would drown in a cup of water, forgot to buy the shitty rolls. The only thing worse than that is having to work in the evening for the ridiculous black Friday sales. 

 

And while I'm on my real early Festivus speech; Duroc pork scam is BS. Just like the Black Angus scam. 99% of the people eating couldn't tell the difference between duroc and sheetrock pork. 

Edited November 23, 2023 by Brothahorn

[Underdog 28623]

Made a store run this morning but really don’t see why they can’t close around noon instead of later in the afternoon. 
 

I love a parade!