Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[markstanco 12586]

On 5/14/2024 at 8:19 PM, tbone_ said:

You should learn some Tool songs. Maybe start with 46 and 2. The others wgaf.

Back to Tool, Eulogy is my goto.  

[Underdog 28761]

13 hours ago, markstanco said:

The battery yard equipment has been getting on point the last 5 years. I have a backpack blower that I break out only when I can’t mow for a while (rain). Otherwise the makita knocks it out, and the chainsaw is great as well for weekend warrior stuff. If I’m going to the lease for a workday, need gas. But love the lack of weight on battery.

Mower, blower, trimmer and small chainsaw are all battery operated, snowblower is next on the wishlist. 

[markstanco 12586]

57 minutes ago, Underdog said:

Mower, blower, trimmer and small chainsaw are all battery operated, snowblower is next on the wishlist. 

Im going to hold out on the snow blower until it is marked down to free. 

[ajax 2620]

Remember the picture of the lovestruck kid trying to give Megan Fox a rose and she totally ignored him? 

 

Well this is that same kid now...

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRwKFwdV/

Look what you did Megan. You turned the poor kid gay! Are you happy???

[Brisketexan 105190]

About to board a flight to OKC.
If there was a women’s store called “Large N Frumpy,” most of its catalog models would be on this flight. Geez.

[nnm 36499]

11 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

About to board a flight to OKC.
If there was a women’s store called “Large N Frumpy,” most of its catalog models would be on this flight. Geez.

Timely crosspost from the LOL thread.  Is this you?  Payoff is the very last sentence in the clip.

 

 

Edited May 17 by nnm

[thunderlounge 7902]

38 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

About to board a flight to OKC.

Well that’s your got damn fault. 

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

Today’s NYT Crossword was very sub-Friday level.  Not much harder than a Monday. 

[nnm 36499]

7 hours ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

Today’s NYT Crossword was very sub-Friday level.  Not much harder than a Monday. 

Yes, did it 5 minutes faster than my average Friday time. 
Saturday was quick and relatively easy also. 7 minutes faster than my average Saturday time. 

[Born to Run 6569]

Timely crosspost from the LOL thread.  Is this you?  Payoff is the very last sentence in the clip.
 
 

I believe Brisketexan is part mexican so he is fixin to get eaten by a portly Oklahoma lady.

[beer 3220]

How do you fucking steer a sand worm

[NeverMarryAStripper 21913]

4 minutes ago, beer said:

How do you fucking steer a sand worm

They use hooks to pull open the sandworm's scales on one side or the other. Sand gets under the scales where they are pulled open, irritating the sandworm, so they turn to the opposite side to try to keep the sand from getting under their scales.  At least, that's what I remember from the book.

[beer 3220]

Oops

Edited May 19 by beer

[Js1 85462]

On 5/17/2024 at 2:15 PM, Brisketexan said:

About to board a flight to OKC.
If there was a women’s store called “Large N Frumpy,” most of its catalog models would be on this flight. Geez.

Isn’t that just Ann Taylor?

[nnm 36499]

1 hour ago, Js1 said:

Isn’t that just Ann Taylor?

Wrong store. 
https://www.lanebryant.com/

[NeverMarryAStripper 21913]

I think we need to change the subheading under Cloak Room.  There are a lot of adjectives that describe the State of Texas these days, but I don’t think great is one of them

[Brisketexan 105190]

Isn’t that just Ann Taylor?

Yeah…Ann Taylor does some nice tailored-look stuff. Definitely not a Lane Bryant type place.

[Armybrat 40861]

Just what everyone needs for those pesky door to door salesmen who ignore your No Solicitors sign….. a flamethrower!

https://palmettostatearmory.com/exothermic-technologies-pulsefire-lrt-flamethrower-od-green-pf-lrt.html?utm_medium=email&utm_source=daily_deals&utm_campaign=weekend&utm_term=05-19-2024&utm_content=51655115488

 

Edited May 19 by Armybrat

[Underdog 28761]

Or pesky, dirty hippies who barge into your home trying to kill you. 

[Armybrat 40861]

Good for hornet nests.

[NWBuck 8577]

On 5/19/2024 at 5:32 AM, nnm said:

Wrong store. 
https://www.lanebryant.com/

Or... 

[52-80 19213]

i guess most people are net-negative on microsoft?

i think its office365 is pretty good mostly.  its continually pushing many useful updates and the offline/online handoff is 99% seamless. Teams is good for what is a fairly-complex product.

Microsoft Windows, however, remains to be a steaming pile of shit compared to MacOS.

[thunderlounge 7902]

Fuck microsloth. 

[YGIFS 19452]

I like that the store marquee reads, "Woman Misses."  And sure enough one of the SUV's fucked up their parking job.  

[BehoId, The Underminer! 11669]

i just got an office-wide email saying that if anyone wants a bag of compost, they've got 'em handy up front.

[nnm 36499]

20 minutes ago, BehoId, The Underminer! said:

i just got an office-wide email saying that if anyone wants a bag of compost, they've got 'em handy up front.

Credit to @futureman in the HS thread .  .  .

 

 

[52-80 19213]

I get that the generic nature of professional services work (accenture, ey, pwc, etc) means their public advertisements are necessarily jargoned and empty.  

the real point of the advertisement is only brand name reinforcement. 

but still…its so ridiculously vacuous. on the bloomberg radio network theres an add for deloitte that goes something like this:

”[narrator] want to understand what machine learning and artificial intelligence is all about and how it can turbocharge your business? here’s deloitte head of technologies priyanda to help explain:

[heavily accented woman] we have found AI to be such a powerful driver across a multitude of corporate domains. for example, in shipping, AI can give the answer about efficiencies in planning to accelerate execution.  in b2c interactions, AI models give staff the right answer in the right context to help enrich customer dialogs.  its a game-changer  

[narrator]  enhance and empower your capabilities. learn all of this and more, go to deloitte.com slash assqueef.

my eyes roll back behind my head in 3 full circles

[closetohumping 17455]

One of my wives friends constantly jokes about how handsome and in shape I am.  When should I be worried?

[ztejas 43526]

1 minute ago, closetohumping said:

One of my wives friends constantly jokes about how handsome and in shape I am.  When should I be worried?

You aren't banging her already? 

[thunderlounge 7902]

32 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

One of my wives friends constantly jokes about how handsome and in shape I am.  When should I be worried?

I’d have thought after the first one. How many do you have already?

Maybe keep this one as a side piece.

[closetohumping 17455]

20 minutes ago, thunderlounge said:

I’d have thought after the first one. How many do you have already?

Maybe keep this one as a side piece.

It's a no piece.  I love my wife and we have like dozens of the same friend.  I think she's just joking around as sometimes she says it around my wife ad laughs.  Maybe 7 or 8 times?

[YGIFS 19452]

On 4/21/2024 at 10:00 PM, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I saw a MAGA bumper sticker today that I could get behind (actually I was behind it)

Mothers

Against

Governor

Abbot

Yeah, when I first started noticing those acronym signs in my 'hood, I thought about those letters, "Yeah, he walked right into that one..."  

[tbone_ 14139]

It's a no piece.  I love my wife and we have like dozens of the same friend.  I think she's just joking around as sometimes she says it around my wife ad laughs.  Maybe 7 or 8 times?

She wants you to hit it bro

[Prepuce of Doom 21098]

11 hours ago, closetohumping said:

It's a no piece.  I love my wife and we have like dozens of the same friend.  I think she's just joking around as sometimes she says it around my wife ad laughs.  Maybe 7 or 8 times?

Username, etc. 

[nnm 36499]

11 hours ago, closetohumping said:

It's a no piece.  I love my wife and we have like dozens of the same friend.  I think she's just joking around as sometimes she says it around my wife ad laughs.  Maybe 7 or 8 times?

Avatar appropriate

[ABSR 5321]

14 hours ago, closetohumping said:

It's a no piece.  I love my wife and we have like dozens of the same friend.  I think she's just joking around as sometimes she says it around my wife ad laughs.  Maybe 7 or 8 times?

She’s telling your wife that she is up for the threesome, and telling you that she will be consoling you at your wife’s funeral with a hand job as they lower the casket.

[closetohumping 17455]

44 minutes ago, ABSR said:

She’s telling your wife that she is up for the threesome, and telling you that she will be consoling you at your wife’s funeral with a hand job as they lower the casket.

She says it around her husband too

[Native Horn 3506]

2 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

She says it around her husband too

Well that escalated quickly.

[thunderlounge 7902]

[nnm 36499]

51 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

She says it around her husband too

The swingers thread is over there in IPIHB—->

[Underdog 28761]

Pics or she’s lying. 

[52-80 19213]

I cant believe that in my lifetime ive had to regularly whip out the checkbook to make paper payments and even have to balance that motherfucker by hand. 

That was some stoneage shit. 

[Crapinon 2260]

39 minutes ago, 52-80 said:

I cant believe that in my lifetime ive had to regularly whip out the checkbook to make paper payments and even have to balance that motherfucker by hand. 

That was some stoneage shit. 

We still have to write checks for property and auto taxes. The county adds a 4% surcharge if you pay with a credit card. I am an old fart in that even though I pay 99% of our bills with a credit card, I still balance the checking account. I want to know where my money is going and make sure everything is legit.

[Jameslaw121 4448]

1 hour ago, 52-80 said:

I cant believe that in my lifetime ive had to regularly whip out the checkbook to make paper payments and even have to balance that motherfucker by hand. 

That was some stoneage shit. 

When my wife and I started dating (2015), I went to her apartment one night and she was paying her bills by calling each place one at a time and staying on hold for like 30 minutes each time.

 

[deft 6867]

One of my wives friends constantly jokes about how handsome and in shape I am.  When should I be worried?

From the dumbass shit on Facebook thread today

[Armybrat 40861]

Just read this on a Ruger firearms message board:

Quote

I was not aware of all that Dolly has done to help the needy. A shame that those that could help don't.



Country singer Dolly Parton wrote the songs "I Will Always Love You" and "Jolene" on the same night.
When the first song was at the top of the charts in 1974, Elvis wanted to record his own version of the song. Dolly was interested until Colonel Tom Parker, Elvis' manager, said that it was standard procedure that when the king of rock and roll covered a song - half of the rights to that song would go to him in the future. She refused it.
"I said, 'I'm really, really sorry' and cried all night. It was terrible for me, on the one hand, it's Elvis. People told me: "You are crazy." It's Elvis Presley...' but I just couldn't do it. Something told me in my heart not to do it and I didn't. I know he would rock with that song. But I couldn't. And then Whitney Houston came along with her version and I made enough money from the rights to buy Dollywood."
She grew up in severe poverty and no one famous has done more for the education of the poor than her.
In 1990, the percentage of students who did not graduate from high school in her hometown was over 30%. She introduced the "Buddy Program", where all high school graduates received a nice sum when they graduated. It wasn't just a waste of money, she personally came and explained the concept to them - everyone should find a buddy, and whoever doesn't succeed she will find one for them.
Everyone had to sign that they will graduate and do everything in their power to ensure that their buddy also graduates. She taught young people about friendship and helping. The number of school dropouts dropped to below 6% and has remained so until today.
When 900 families lost their homes in the 2016 fires, she paid each family $1,000 for the next five months. When she came to the bank to finish the paperwork, she gave each family another $5,000 to find. A total of nine million dollars.
Also, her work - Imagination Library from 1995, was inspired by her realization that young people in rural areas and poor families already fall behind when they start school and that this prevents them from pursuing higher education. The goal of her program was for every child in her district to receive one book, once a month, from birth to school, completely free of charge, without any conditions.
It started as an initiative in her hometown and has spread to a huge number of countries around the world. By 2018, over 100 million books were distributed in this way.
She is also known for her witty statements, at the beginning of her career she said-"I'm not offended by jokes about stupid blondes because I know I'm not stupid... and I'm not really blonde either."

 

[YGIFS 19452]

Unless you really tracked Dolly Parton's philanthropy in the days of print media, it really wasn't until her Covid donations that most of America realized what a national treasure Dolly Parton is.  She has done so much for so many decades and never, ever sought any attention for it.  I mean every celebrity I know that says, "Oh, I'm not doing it for the awards or the media buzz or tax benefits, I'm doing it because I care."  But she has quietly, for many decades, changed the lives of tens of thousands of young people and never once broadcasted it.  In between she wrote some great songs.  And all along, TITS.  

[Brisketexan 105190]

Unless you really tracked Dolly Parton's philanthropy in the days of print media, it really wasn't until her Covid donations that most of America realized what a national treasure Dolly Parton is.  She has done so much for so many decades and never, ever sought any attention for it.  I mean every celebrity I know that says, "Oh, I'm not doing it for the awards or the media buzz or tax benefits, I'm doing it because I care."  But she has quietly, for many decades, changed the lives of tens of thousands of young people and never once broadcasted it.  In between she wrote some great songs.  And all along, TITS.  

No lie, when Dolly dies I will cry. She’s a treasure.

[YGIFS 19452]

I'll cry too.  I mean, I'll jerk off to some old photos of her.  But also, tears.  And tissues for all the above.  

Wait, what the fuck were we talking about again?  

[Nuge 1970]

You were talking about using your own tears as lube.