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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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52-80

52-80 18982

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Everyone makes fun of contrived corpospeak.  This is from the profile of a native-english speaker working in our marketing & communications department, if you can believe that:

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Challenges, personal achievements and key skills in my current Job:
My current objective involves joining an ongoing communication strategy session and leveraging my expertise and experience to add value. I am proactive in my approach, constantly seeking more efficient and cost-effective practices for improvement. As a natural leader and a team player, I believe in sharing best practices and challenges, fostering collaboration instead of reinventing the wheel. I strongly advocate for a diverse, multi-skilled team as it leads to enhanced productivity and drives change and growth. My approach is to identify solutions before presenting problems, and I welcome feedback from the sales and business team to refine our practices and learn from mistakes. I am not afraid to challenge the status quo, asking the right questions and pushing the boundaries to achieve even greater results.

This is her description of her previous stint outside the company. Across her entire career her actual job is as a coordinator for trade show events...

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Experience and Exposures: Marketing Communications
Strategic thought leader that translates leadership strategy into actionable processes and objectives. Promote a culture of customer-focused service, innovation, and continuous improvement, actively positioning the company for growth and success. Develop and drive effective systems to track scaling progress and regularly evaluate program components to measure successes that can be effectively communicated. Build collaborative cross-functional partnerships to develop and implement process improvements company-wide. Led the end-to-end portfolio of events to expand market reach while increasing brand and tech awareness. Develop and mentor staff through onboarding, open communication, training and development opportunities, and performance management processes; build and maintain employee morale and motivation; ensure the team is appropriately staffed with required competencies.

 

education ... graduated "Cum Laude" from.... *drumroll*........ DeVry University

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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

hundredTT
hundredTT

Just put my dog down. We spent the whole afternoon giving her one last sun and the kids took pics and all that. They took it better than me. I was with my her to the end at least and she licked me rig

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52-80

52-80 18982

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AI being genuinely useful.  I asked Microsoft Copilot to rephrase those paragraphs as a normal person would instead of a psychopath:

1. I want to join a strategy session and use my skills to help. I look for better, cheaper ways to improve. As a leader and team player, I share ideas and challenges to work together. I support having a diverse team for better results. I find solutions before presenting problems and welcome feedback to improve. I’m not afraid to challenge the norm and push for better outcomes.

2. I turn leadership strategies into clear actions and goals. I promote a customer-focused, innovative, and continuously improving culture to help the company grow. I create systems to track progress and measure success. I build partnerships across teams to improve processes. I lead events to expand market reach and increase brand awareness. I develop and mentor staff through onboarding, communication, training, and performance management, ensuring the team is motivated and has the right skills.

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nnm

nnm 35552

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3 hours ago, 52-80 said:

AI being genuinely useful.  I asked Microsoft Copilot to rephrase those paragraphs as a normal person would instead of a psychopath:

1. I want to join a strategy session and use my skills to help. I look for better, cheaper ways to improve. As a leader and team player, I share ideas and challenges to work together. I support having a diverse team for better results. I find solutions before presenting problems and welcome feedback to improve. I’m not afraid to challenge the norm and push for better outcomes.

2. I turn leadership strategies into clear actions and goals. I promote a customer-focused, innovative, and continuously improving culture to help the company grow. I create systems to track progress and measure success. I build partnerships across teams to improve processes. I lead events to expand market reach and increase brand awareness. I develop and mentor staff through onboarding, communication, training, and performance management, ensuring the team is motivated and has the right skills.

 
 

Great, except that only psychopaths start every sentence with “I.”

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HRSchenker

HRSchenker 2215

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On 6/16/2023 at 2:17 PM, HRSchenker said:

Friend of mine got murdered in November of 2020. They caught the guy in January of 2021 but he's been locked up in the county jail since then. Haven't heard anything about a trial 

Finally got some news. Guilty of murder. 45 year prison sentence. 

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GoPokes83

GoPokes83 2236

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My Dr has me do a Cologuard test every couple of years. I’m fine with it, ounce of prevention, etc…. But damn it man, could Cologuard be a little more discrete with their packaging? Probably a 9 inch square box with an 8 inch Cologuard logo on almost every panel. Our town only has one UPS drop off at a busy little convenience store and it’s slightly off putting to walk in and wait in line behind some lady waiting to buy some scratch offs and a pack of Kools and hand the box to some clerk with everyone in the joint knowing you’re passing them off a box of your shit!

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nnm

nnm 35552

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8 hours ago, NAVY said:

A Few Good Men Demi Moore is peak Demi Moore.

My good she is so hot in that uni 

IMG_3257.jpeg

About Last Night. Pre-silicone.

Edited by nnm
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'stache

'stache 21520

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I don't understand how so many people drown on lakes every boating holiday. Like 5 yesterday in Oklahoma. At least the oceans have currents and riptides, but fucking man made lakes. I think it's Darwinism in action. 

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52-80

52-80 18982

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2 hours ago, 'stache said:

I don't understand how so many people drown on lakes every boating holiday. Like 5 yesterday in Oklahoma. At least the oceans have currents and riptides, but fucking man made lakes. I think it's Darwinism in action. 

puedo-beber-alcohol-higado-graso-1.jpg

 

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17271

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On 6/23/2024 at 8:47 AM, closetohumping said:

In college,Ever have a girl that asked you to study together that actually wanted to?  I have. I was mislead.  Girl asked me if I wanted to study together.  said my place was free.  Boy was she surprised when I answered the door dressed lie Chris Evans in varsity blues.  

I'd be confused, too since Chris Evans was not in Varsity Blues.

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ruitxn

ruitxn 295

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On 7/5/2024 at 9:27 AM, 'stache said:

I don't understand how so many people drown on lakes every boating holiday. Like 5 yesterday in Oklahoma. At least the oceans have currents and riptides, but fucking man made lakes. I think it's Darwinism in action. 

Oklahoma 

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Jameslaw121

Jameslaw121 4439

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When surly went down the other day. My first thought. Oh shit I hope I have a copy of that Dude in Waco's bus ride to look at Christmas lights Montage!!!

 

After all the Thanksgiving stuff is done and the kids are in bed, I pour a whiskey and read that story again. And each time I wind up crying laughing so hard that my wife makes me read it to her. While I'm still laughing and while she is staring at me like i've lost my damned mind

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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 25551

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2 hours ago, Jameslaw121 said:

When surly went down the other day. My first thought. Oh shit I hope I have a copy of that Dude in Waco's bus ride to look at Christmas lights Montage!!!

 

After all the Thanksgiving stuff is done and the kids are in bed, I pour a whiskey and read that story again. And each time I wind up crying laughing so hard that my wife makes me read it to her. While I'm still laughing and while she is staring at me like i've lost my damned mind

is that the "I put his fat fucking ass on the roof myself" story?

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ztejas

ztejas 42775

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On 7/2/2024 at 3:44 AM, 52-80 said:

As a natural leader and a team player, I believe in sharing best practices and challenges, fostering collaboration instead of reinventing the wheel.

This is such a retarded sentence it makes my brain hurt.

Edited by ztejas
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Bevo&Pevo

Bevo&Pevo 4923

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On 7/11/2024 at 3:16 PM, 52-80 said:

Alvin and the chipmunks is undisputably the worst cartoon gimmick/concept/idea ever. 
 

how the hell did it ever get greenlit

 

On 7/12/2024 at 10:59 PM, TrashMaster G said:

The success following the green light suggests you are wrong.

Alvin, Theodore and Simon were named after the record company peeps who said it wouldn't work.  

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40527

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Good gawd!

On a whim I just googled up my old Sears Silvertone guitar from 1962 and was astounded what people are asking for them. 
It was a cheap $50 POS that sounded tinny and the cheapass speaker vibrated like a budget “wand” from Adam & Eve adult products.

 

 

IMG_3496.jpeg

IMG_3497.webp

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ajax

ajax 2551

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Help me out here. Why does the whole internet hate these girls? They seem harmless.

And the spastic girl in the glasses and trench coat is giving me a weird boner. She seems like she'd be fun in the sack, in a bipolar way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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ajax

ajax 2551

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On 6/29/2024 at 8:24 AM, nnm said:

Very good tutorial on how to change your brake pads. 

 

Sure she's cute but do you have what it takes? She may be wearing heels but hayden christensen is 6 feet tall.

Screenshot_20240714_093921_Instagram.thumb.jpg.7b39235d8a3786a4a6ec4041a4751e00.jpg

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tbone_

tbone_ 13977

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Good gawd!
On a whim I just googled up my old Sears Silvertone guitar from 1962 and was astounded what people are asking for them. 
It was a cheap $50 POS that sounded tinny and the cheapass speaker vibrated like a budget “wand” from Adam & Eve adult products.
 
 
IMG_3496.thumb.jpeg.ac983fe6215efceaa638acc888e7e327.jpeg
IMG_3497.thumb.webp.5f67ee947bf54bc8d53140c932985a42.webp

What’s that worth these days?

My pops had a 62 Strat that I routinely chastised him for selling.
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Armybrat

Armybrat 40527

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1 hour ago, tbone_ said:


What’s that worth these days?

My pops had a 62 Strat that I routinely chastised him for selling.

Saw asking prices online for $900 up to $1,800. 
Crazy for the cheapest electric guitar from that era.

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Sandman

Sandman 3399

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Am I the only one who doesn't give a shit about the new NCAA FB game? I played all the others, along with Madden, NCAA hoops, NHL, etc. over the past 35 years. I still play games now, just not sports games. I just can't escape seeing clips and stories about this new game. And I know I'm not the target audience, I'm 50 years old. 

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