Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[Crapinon 2,253]

4 hours ago, Armybrat said:

First time Siri started talking without prompting to me on my cell phone years ago, I told it “Siri, shut the fuck up”. 
Haven’t heard a peep out of it ever since then, thankfully.

When I told Siri to shut up, it responded "that's not very nice". 

[thunderlounge 7,813]

Gotta put a little zing on it. 

[InkaUtexas 25,859]

39 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

When I told Siri to shut up, it responded "that's not very nice". 

In Armybrats defense, Siri does not speak old man Texas gibberish. And he thought he was yelling at a cloud, since that is where Siri lives right?

[52-80 19,147]

How come on kickoff touchdowns they count the yardage in the end zone (eg a 107yd return) but on receiving touchdowns it only counts to the goal line. 

if i do a toetap at the end of the field give me that extra 10yd

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,872]

Because on a kickoff return the end zone yardage comes at the beginning of the play while on a touchdown pass it comes at the end.

[Superhero 8,827]

For whatever reason, Nespresso articles show up in my Google feed. One of the articles was so incredibly stupid. "How to use your Nespresso pod if you don't have a machine."

Shit you not, it essentially came down to "Cut open the Nespresso pod. Dump the coffee grinds into a paper filter. Slowly pour hot water over the coffee grinds until you get a nice cup of coffee."

 

I'm surprised they even bothered to write that because whoever the intended readers were, should not be in charge of boiling water.

[Steel Shank 9,421]

I really enjoy those days when you bite the shit out of your tongue. and then a few hours later you bit it again in the same place. Good times.

[Nuge 1,966]

18 hours ago, Steel Shank said:

I really enjoy those days when you bite the shit out of your tongue. and then a few hours later you bit it again in the same place. Good times.

Was it this?

 

[Steel Shank 9,421]

13 minutes ago, Nuge said:

Was it this?

I wish.

[BearMace 2,194]

20 hours ago, Steel Shank said:

I really enjoy those days when you bite the shit out of your tongue. and then a few hours later you bit it again in the same place. Good times.

Or the damn side of your cheek. Can go a year just fine like a normal human and then chomp! Suddenly it's like I've never fucking chewed before on repeat.

[tbone_ 14,106]

Ever had a business meeting with a woman so hot you can barely concentrate? It was all I could do to not just ogle her up and down for an hour like a 12 year old at coffee this morning.

[Steel Shank 9,421]

3 hours ago, BearMace said:

Or the damn side of your cheek. Can go a year just fine like a normal human and then chomp! Suddenly it's like I've never fucking chewed before on repeat.

I feel you, brah.

[thunderlounge 7,813]

2 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Ever had a business meeting with a woman so hot you can barely concentrate? It was all I could do to not just ogle her up and down for an hour like a 12 year old at coffee this morning.

 

[Superhero 8,827]

2 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Ever had a business meeting with a woman so hot you can barely concentrate? It was all I could do to not just ogle her up and down for an hour like a 12 year old at coffee this morning.

Creeping photos not showing up.

 

But yeah, we had a drywall contractor come by to say hi and I wanted to give her a project right then and there so I could see her for the next 2 years. 

[52-80 19,147]

7 hours ago, tbone_ said:

Ever had a business meeting with a woman so hot you can barely concentrate? It was all I could do to not just ogle her up and down for an hour like a 12 year old at coffee this morning.

used to work with a brazilian colleague that looks like elsa pataky, and an irish one that looks like natalie dormer.  very 🥴

[tbone_ 14,106]

Creeping photos not showing up.
 

Don’t need creepers. She’s a legit player in my industry with pics all over the net. I thought about posting one in anticipation of this but unfortunately for you guys I don’t really want to put her shit on blast.

Just imagine one of the hottest broads you’ve ever seen and you’ll be close.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,052]

There are so many dumbass radio edits in the Everlast song "What It's Like" that the version should be renamed "What It's Kind Of Like." 

[Underdog 28,546]

It was a beautiful song but it ran too long
If you're gonna have a hit you gotta make it fit
So they cut it down to 3:05

[TheStoicPaisano 9,922]

[Underdog 28,546]

Why the fuck do we have not 1, not 2 but 3 fucking License lookup help threads on IPIHB Forum, and if course one of them is a GD gil bang special? 

[InkaUtexas 25,859]

Why does the Texas Railroad Commission not govern railroads? Or does it and they pretend that they don't. I bet that Gary Duggar guy is behind it.

[cmontexas 3,270]

Tom Cruise fucks fish

[Underdog 28,546]

Red snapper? 

[thunderlounge 7,813]

Pokeherhotass?

[52-80 19,147]

On 10/21/2024 at 4:56 AM, InkaUtexas said:

Why does the Texas Railroad Commission not govern railroads? Or does it and they pretend that they don't. I bet that Gary Duggar guy is behind it.

not quite the same example because TRC was legit but still:

 

[thunderlounge 7,813]

Pretty much

[closetohumping 17,433]

Is Jap a racist term or accepted abbreviation?

[Superhero 8,827]

52 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

Is Jap a racist term or accepted abbreviation?

Totally racist. Like calling a Hispanic person a sp__.

[thunderlounge 7,813]

What’s wrong with jalapeños? 

 

[Tex Long 4,382]

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

Totally racist. Like calling a Hispanic person a sp__.

You've spelt "hi__" incorrectly.

[Underdog 28,546]

5 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Is Jap a racist term or accepted abbreviation?

Not if you preface it with "with all due respect". 

[SimonBolivar 10,957]

Sorry about the imperialism, nah just kidding fuck you.

[nnm 36,347]

While eating a third-rate hamburger in an airport bar at ORD this evening, Billy Squier’s “The Stroke” played. 
 

Do you think he intentionally wrote/bought/recorded that song as a retirement plan? Knowing that it would be a staple of topless dancers until the end of time?

[Hmbre97 6,305]

Bored on a Friday night while I upgrade some switches, Teen Wolf popped up on Youtube. Just finished watching the scene where the hot blond seduces him in the theater dressing room and they fuck.

You think when he's the werewolf he still has his normal dick or does it turn into a red rocket?

[Prepuce of Doom 21,052]

Definitely dog dick. 

[Rimbo 25,911]

 

[Underdog 28,546]

Will be pushing near 80 degrees on Halloween for us up here in the North, also only 4 days until we get to open the Halloween candy. 

Been wanting to burn some more fallen branches/wood the last 2 nights but it's been too dry and breezy to risk it. 

[SHOOTER12 8,800]

On 10/24/2024 at 12:21 PM, cmontexas said:

Tom Cruise fucks fish

Or do fish fuck him?

[SHOOTER12 8,800]

On 10/15/2024 at 7:06 PM, tbone_ said:

Ever had a business meeting with a woman so hot you can barely concentrate? It was all I could do to not just ogle her up and down for an hour like a 12 year old at coffee this morning.

A few years ago we had a hot sales rep call on us representing a contract equipment hauler. One of the hottest I'd seen in a long while. Immediately hired her company to make 3 or 4 hauls for us. Then dropped them...she suddenly became ugly...reason why? Found out she was aggy...

[tbone_ 14,106]

Very professional. I would have rather you a Top Performer in your review.

[Crapinon 2,253]

8 hours ago, SHOOTER12 said:

A few years ago we had a hot sales rep call on us representing a contract equipment hauler. One of the hottest I'd seen in a long while. Immediately hired her company to make 3 or 4 hauls for us. Then dropped them...she suddenly became ugly...reason why? Found out she was aggy...

I've been in industrial distribution for 40+ years. When safety was finally getting enforced in the 70's-80's there were a lot of unsavory characters in the business. There was a rumor of one guy who owned a safety supply company, who hired a "professional" sales rep to take care of his million dollar account and it was her only account. She was pretty good looking and had a standing appointment every Friday morning with several supervisors at a huge factory here in Texas. It was pretty much an open secret in distribution and it lasted for quite a while.

[Steel Shank 9,421]

Didn't realize until today that Van Morrison's "Domino" was a tribute to Fats Domino. It was a staple on the old jukebox at Deep Eddy when they played 45s.

 

Bitches.

[52-80 19,147]

My 1 socialist-communist take is that if your company sells vehicle exhaust modifications, each product should be put to popular vote on the pleasantness of its sound

If enough of your product is found to be obnoxious, your company will be expropriated. 

[Underdog 28,546]

Happy Hallo-finally getting to open your bag(s) of candy you’ve had for at least a week-ween. 

Edited October 31 by Underdog

[BearSchlong 8,083]

Happy Hallo-finally getting to open your bag(s) of candy you’ve had for at least a week-ween. 

I live in a gated neighborhood with 9 houses. If I had 1 trick or treater, he would end up with 45 snickers. Yes its my fault.

[Rimbo 25,911]

The plural of MILF should be milves.

[Horn_Spanker 524]

I too bought a bag of Snickers and never turned on the porch light.

[Rimbo 25,911]

I hit the quadfecta today!

1 Google meet video meeting
1 slack Hangout video meeting
1 zoom video meeting
1 teams video meeting

[ztejas 43,411]

1 minute ago, Rimbo said:

I hit the quadfecta today!

1 Google meet video meeting
1 slack Hangout video meeting
1 zoom video meeting
1 teams video meeting

How much alcohol will that be paired with this evening?

[52-80 19,147]

Compared to Netflix, why are the video streaming apps from fellow moneyed or tech giants Amazon Prime, Disney+, and AppleTV so so bad?

I appreciate that software engineering is not easy as it seems….but I’m just talking the basic navigation and interface here. This isnt frontier territory. Amazon is especially bad. Blech.