Jump to content

Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28854

Posted
Posted
43 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Kissing family and close friends is part of the culture of hundreds of ethnic groups on our planet.  Provided it’s on the cheek or hand.  

The people that handle your cum should just be sexual partners, fertility clinics, and the housekeeping staff at certain hoteliers.  

Making your mom handle your jizz socks is just fucked up.  Get a tissue, it’s closer.  

Yeah but you're probably not kissing anyone's socks. Pay close attention the next time you kiss your mom. Who knows? Maybe you'll catch a faint whiff of Skyline Chili. That's just me saying hello. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 9.9k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

Posted Images

clapclapclap

clapclapclap 9000

Posted
Posted

Florida student arrested for threatening to kill professor over 7 am exam

BOCA RATON, Fla. - Police say a Florida Atlantic University student threatened to kill his professor.

According to campus police, they received a tip about a Twitter post published on Tuesday from a user named @Ashelaniqua.

The post read, "Bey i gern (expletive) kill dis professor bey this is my confession to a premeditated murder".

Police eventually identified the user as 20-year-old Rafael Decomas, a commuter student, according to his arrest report.

Police say Decomas admitting to making the post, telling investigators "he was only reacting to the news that his final exam for Data Structure (instructed by Professor Carl Weiss) was scheduled to 0700 hours. Decomas advised that he was upset at the news since he lives in Riviera Beach, and would need to wake up at 0500 hours", according to his arrest report.

Decomas said he didn't intend to harm anyone, police say.

Decomas is now facing a charge of Written threats to kill or do bodily injury.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Moby Ric

Moby Ric 2058

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, Lobo said:

Didn't find out well into my college years that young men jerked off into socks.  That is so fucking weird and gross to me.  Nevermind you're putting your dick where you put your feet...why a sock?  What kind of fucked up Oedipus complex did you have, leaving jizz in your sock for your poor mother to find on laundry day? 

Or worse yet, a half dozen of 'em if you had a busy week?  That is so messed up.  Did they not have toilet paper, kleenex, paper towels, or napkins in your house?  Who honestly grew up with none of those things but an abundance of socks?  You jerk off into the paper product of your choice and you flush it or throw it away, case closed.  What kind of sick fuck jerks off into his dirty laundry and let's his mother handle it the next day?  

Having said that, if you've ever used a washcloth at a Starwood or Hyatt property in the Continental United States, you've got my jizz on your face.  

Socks are also handy if you are out of toilet paper.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
19 hours ago, 'stache said:

Pretty sure Lobos mom recently caught him jerking it into socks.

actually, we were outta socks too.  it was the summertime.  I jerked off into a flip-flop.  It did not end well.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Deej

Deej 77313

Posted
Posted
On 12/2/2018 at 11:26 PM, Lobo said:

Didn't find out well into my college years that young men jerked off into socks.  That is so fucking weird and gross to me.  Nevermind you're putting your dick where you put your feet...why a sock?  What kind of fucked up Oedipus complex did you have, leaving jizz in your sock for your poor mother to find on laundry day? 

Or worse yet, a half dozen of 'em if you had a busy week?  That is so messed up.  Did they not have toilet paper, kleenex, paper towels, or napkins in your house?  Who honestly grew up with none of those things but an abundance of socks?  You jerk off into the paper product of your choice and you flush it or throw it away, case closed.  What kind of sick fuck jerks off into his dirty laundry and let's his mother handle it the next day?  

Having said that, if you've ever used a washcloth at a Starwood or Hyatt property in the Continental United States, you've got my jizz on your face.  

Six times is a busy week?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dertyberd

Dertyberd 394

Posted
Posted (edited)

I just had my first legitimate acid flashback after watching the "British marines take acid" video on the "Drinking out of cups" thread. It's been 20 fucking years since I've tripped but I couldn't stop laughing and my chest tightened up with anxiety here at work.  I've never had anything like that when completely sober.  Fucking awesome.

Edited by Dertyberd
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted

MoPac Expy/Texas Loop 1 has exit signs for almost every single road it intersects with except one glaring omission.  There is no exit sign for Barton Springs Road.  A rather major artery into South Austin/Downtown Austin.  And yet there is no sign for it.  There is an exit that is sorta for it, but no signage for it.  I find that odd considering how many lesser roads are clearly marked along the highway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

Posted
Posted

Georgia Dwags having gone to school in Athens is just bizarre. If you've ever pub crawled in Athens, you'd know what I'm saying. The town itself is nothing like the parts of Georgia where their teams fans mostly come from. It's truly one of the great cultural/geographic oddities of the universe.  It'd be as if aggy fans had gone to school in Vancouver or something.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

Posted
Posted
On 1/1/2019 at 3:56 PM, Walden Ponderer said:

Georgia Dwags having gone to school in Athens is just bizarre. If you've ever pub crawled in Athens, you'd know what I'm saying. The town itself is nothing like the parts of Georgia where their teams fans mostly come from. It's truly one of the great cultural/geographic oddities of the universe.  It'd be as if aggy fans had gone to school in Vancouver or something.

There's several places like that in the deep south (though not necessarily centered around higher education)---Athens, Charleston, Asheville, pockets of Eastern Tennessee, some areas of SE Kentucky, Ozark areas, et. al.  And then there's just the usual shitstains of society like College Station, Tuscaloosa, Columbia, Knoxville, Gainsville/Orlando.......Wait, I'm noticing a pattern here.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TKthunder2

TKthunder2 5040

Posted
Posted
On 12/28/2018 at 9:11 PM, deft said:

Skittles were way better when the green was lime. Apple is an abomination.

 

So here my take.

 

if you eat them one at a time the apple is better.  I would much rather eat an Apple skittle alone than a lime skittle.

if you eat them multiple favors at a time, then the lime was better because the apple messes up the flavor combo.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dolemite

Dolemite 143

Posted
Posted

 

 

has won many blue ribbons. Their next door neighbor woke up the other morning and her dog was on the porch with a dead rabbit. No question where the rabbit came from, the rabbit and dog was covered in mud. She grabbed the dead rabbit, washed it, cleaned it up and used a blow dryer to dry and fluff the hair. While the neighbors went to the store she slipped the dead rabbit back in the cage. When the dead rabbits owners returned she heard screaming. Called them and asked if something was wrong. The neighbors said, "yes there's something wrong, one of our rabbits died two days ago, we buried it and now its back in the cage!"

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21144

Posted
Posted
48 minutes ago, Dolemite said:

 

 

has won many blue ribbons. Their next door neighbor woke up the other morning and her dog was on the porch with a dead rabbit. No question where the rabbit came from, the rabbit and dog was covered in mud. She grabbed the dead rabbit, washed it, cleaned it up and used a blow dryer to dry and fluff the hair. While the neighbors went to the store she slipped the dead rabbit back in the cage. When the dead rabbits owners returned she heard screaming. Called them and asked if something was wrong. The neighbors said, "yes there's something wrong, one of our rabbits died two days ago, we buried it and now its back in the cage!"

I'm pretty sure I read this story in one of my grandparents' Reader's Digests 35 years ago. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...