Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

6 hours ago, Hairy Biped said:

He said that you would stunned how many people are robbed, attacked or assassinated with their dick in their hand.

I though we were going to keep that between us?

[WhatTheBuck 28779]

On 3/3/2021 at 12:33 PM, LW Goatman said:

We are closer to 2060 than 1980. 

Temporally, not spatially. 

[ABSR 5311]

On 3/3/2021 at 11:33 AM, LW Goatman said:

We are closer to 2060 than 1980. 

But I remember 1980 much better than 2060.  Why is that?

[cactusflinthead 27598]

Who else has had this happen to them?

 

[Scheiss Meister 8407]

3 hours ago, cactusflinthead said:

Who else has had this happen to them?

 

My son was a little over a year old when I had to shave my beard off for work.  When I came out of the bathroom clean shaven, he gave an impressive yell and climbed his mother like she was a tree.  He cried and screamed like I was killing them and just about strangled her, he held on so tight.  He wouldn't come to me until the next day.  So, yeah, I've had that happen to me.

[ztejas 43423]

13 hours ago, ABSR said:

But I remember 1980 much better than 2060.  Why is that?

Correolis effect.

[RPM 26320]

2 hours ago, Scheiss Meister said:

My son was a little over a year old when I had to shave my beard off for work.  When I came out of the bathroom clean shaven, he gave an impressive yell and climbed his mother like she was a tree.  He cried and screamed like I was killing them and just about strangled her, he held on so tight.  He wouldn't come to me until the next day.  So, yeah, I've had that happen to me.

Same thing with my daughter. She also would freak if you wore sunglasses.

[markstanco 12577]

I have been on a sunflower seeds kick lately, gone through 4 or 5 containers of them.  

20 footers or 40 footers? Phrasing, you know.

[Kennythetiger 9381]

Huh?  

[CooterBrown 18010]

Australia is wider than the moon. 2500 miles vs 2100 miles. Never realized it was such a tiny bitch.

[markstanco 12577]

In my life I have never seen anybody order ar a bar our buy in a likka store the scotch cutty sark.

Not sure how they are still around, but it must be big in the UK with the history of the clipper and such.

[GringoSalado 1651]

4 hours ago, markstanco said:

In my life I have never seen anybody order ar a bar our buy in a likka store the scotch cutty sark.

Not sure how they are still around, but it must be big in the UK with the history of the clipper and such.

Mexicans, dude.

 

eta: first google result is Celtic Güey

https://under500calories.com/recipe/b4917-celtic-guey-cocktail

Edited March 9, 2021 by GringoSalado

[Armybrat 40840]

In honor of Chuck Norris 81st birthday today who still looks 50 I understand he took a trip to the Virgin Islands to celebrate the day and they are now known as “The Islands”

[Guest Lobo]

Was "The Deflowered Islands" already taken?  

 

[markstanco 12577]

A great big FUCK YOU to the person who decided to hit my truck and drive off in the hooters parking lot last night. I went to look at the lot cameras in their office but they were old cameras. All we know is it is an older silver dodge truck. Cameras were blurry so couldn't pick out the plate.

Luckily no dents, but Monday I takecit in and fork over $820 to fix it.

[Kennythetiger 9381]

How were the wings?

[Both Tacos 1806]

A great big FUCK YOU to the person who decided to hit my truck and drive off in the hooters parking lot last night. I went to look at the lot cameras in their office but they were old cameras. All we know is it is an older silver dodge truck. Cameras were blurry so couldn't pick out the plate.

Luckily no dents, but Monday I takecit in and fork over $820 to fix it.

Doesn't your wife drive an older silver dodge truck?

[markstanco 12577]

Hell hath no furry moment here... I went by tonight at the same time to see if he was there. Wasn't. I will periodically check. There was a dent and small sticker on the back window glass.

I have a pellet gun pistol that is now in my truck as of this evening.

If I win the lotto and find that truck in the lot i will shoot out a window and gloat about it on here. Not even kidding, hit and run assholes suck.

[Helobious 9448]

There’s hardly any millenials still in college, in case you didn’t feel old enough. 

[EE2B 1565]

A great big FUCK YOU to the person who decided to hit my truck and drive off in the hooters parking lot last night. I went to look at the lot cameras in their office but they were old cameras. All we know is it is an older silver dodge truck. Cameras were blurry so couldn't pick out the plate.

Luckily no dents, but Monday I takecit in and fork over $820 to fix it.

Did that same person steal the gas out of your truck last weekend?

[Steamboat1874 4058]

That is what you get for going to Hooters anyway.

[markstanco 12577]

3 hours ago, EE2B said:

Did that same person steal the gas out of your truck last weekend?

[markstanco 12577]

39 minutes ago, Steamboat1874 said:

That is what you get for going to Hooters anyway.

My 12 year old likes to go there to salivate, and my 10 year old is there for the queso.  Otherwise I agree. 

[Underdog 28625]

The wind has been something fierce where I live the last few months, didn't think it was possible that Trees had that many GD branches, twigs, whatnot that like to fall on the ground/yard. 

[cactusflinthead 27598]

 

[Richard Kimball 1494]

Really random, but anyone remember getting your car inspected in the 60s/70s? 

The state regulated the price of inspection, but the dealer could charge a dollar to adjust each headlight. Usually, the guy would walk out, scrape the old sticker off, put the new sticker on, charge $2.00 for the inspection, another $2.00 for adjusting the headlights if you had two headlights, and $4.00 if you had four headlights. Never had an inspection where they actually looked at the car until the state started running stings on the inspection stations I guess in the early nineties. 

[Armybrat 40840]

The seven simple machines upon which all Western civilization is based are the wheel, the lever, the wedge, the inclined plane, the pulley, the small-block Chevy and the Colt Government Model 1911.

[Juicy 727]

Fuck the commercials that ring a doorbell. Drives the dog nuts.

[Kennythetiger 9381]

17 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

The seven simple machines upon which all Western civilization is based are the wheel, the lever, the wedge, the inclined plane, the pulley, the small-block Chevy and the Colt Government Model 1911.

And Jane Russell. 

[Armybrat 40840]

9 minutes ago, Juicy said:

Fuck the commercials that ring a doorbell. Drives the dog nuts.

And the ones that emit a cell phone email signal.

[Armybrat 40840]

Just now, Kennythetiger said:

And Jane Russell. 

I knew a guy who in his high school days worked as a grocery sacker in LA, and claimed to have sacked hers a couple of times. Terrible actor, but nice naturals. Howard Hughes was no dummy in those days... before he freaked out.

[futureman 22457]

I’m on season three of peaky blinders. that russian duchess tatiana is one of the hottest, craziest women I’ve ever seen on screen. I think I’m in love. 

Edited March 21, 2021 by futureman

[RollLeft 5045]

The arm over his brother saying nah, don't do it was the best part.

[castolon 193]

What the hell is the point of the subreddit /roastme

[HRSchenker 2268]

I saw Tony Buzbee at my local coffee shop in Dallas.

[Bender Bending Rodriguez 1678]

I always make a mental note if I’m watching a non football game that has a football like score. Like a 7-3 baseball game or a basketball game that’s 28-17 or whatever. I’ll even sometimes do a “Blue Jays with a field goal to get within four” voice over in my head. 

Edited March 22, 2021 by Bender Bending Rodriguez

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

On 3/21/2021 at 5:53 AM, castolon said:

What the hell is the point of the subreddit /roastme

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

There isn't ONE SINGLE SCENARIO in this workplace harassment training I'm taking where "try sucking his dick" is the right answer.

[ABSR 5311]

1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

There isn't ONE SINGLE SCENARIO in this workplace harassment training I'm taking where "try sucking his dick" is the right answer.

Hey, you do you.  Suck away.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

There isn't ONE SINGLE SCENARIO in this workplace harassment training I'm taking where "try sucking his dick" is the right answer.

Well then they don't know how things really work, do they.

[Guest Lobo]

"You...you, you want me to suck his dick?"

"Oh...who the fuck is Dick?  Oh, okay.  Yeah, Dick Ritchie.  He's in my acting class."  

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

I bet even the smartest rocket scientist feels pretty dumb when he's watching a rocket he helped build take off only for it to explode on the launchpad. 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

12 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

I bet even the smartest rocket scientist feels pretty dumb when he's watching a rocket he helped build take off only for it to explode on the launchpad. 

Nah. They blame the weather.

[Underdog 28625]

Nearby Y is doing a HORSE Tournament as a fundraiser next month, really thinking of signing up for it.  

[Richard Kimball 1494]

On 3/20/2021 at 2:33 PM, Juicy said:

Fuck the commercials that ring a doorbell. Drives the dog nuts.

Commercials on the car radio that play the sound of a car crash or a siren. Totally destroys my chill.

Gravel trucks that have a sign on the back that says "Stay back 200 feet. Not responsible for accidents." 

Makes me want to get a pellet gun, go to their yard at night, after doing the damage, put a note on the gate that says, "I'm not responsible for your windshields either, motherfucker."

No, I haven't done it. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21906]

You can also only read those signs if you’re right up behind them.

[Helobious 9448]

7 hours ago, Underdog said:

Nearby Y is doing a HORSE Tournament as a fundraiser next month, really thinking of signing up for it.  

That actually sounds pretty fun. 

[Underdog 28625]

It does.  They have it broken down into age groups, I'll be in the Set shot/Granny style group.  

[HornsOverIthaca 2333]

Ancient Egypt was boring. 
What kind of building do you like?  Triangle. 
Ok, What else?  Big Triangle. 
Oh no the Pharaoh died, what should we do?  Triangle.

[WhatTheBuck 28779]

That joke sphinx.