Random thoughts that don't warrant a thread

[After irth 1,243]

2 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Is a dude wearing jogging pants similar to a chick wearing a low cut blouse?  Every time I wear them I catch people staring at my junk 

Worst humblebrag ever. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,071]

2 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Is a dude wearing jogging pants similar to a chick wearing a low cut blouse?  Every time I wear them I catch people staring at my junk 

Your elephantiasis is flaring up again. 

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

if you're the youngest kid in a really big family, like eight kids or something, it might not be pleasant to think about, but you gotta be grateful that your Mom really liked the dick

[closetohumping 17,440]

3 hours ago, After irth said:

Worst humblebrag ever. 

Yeah I'm like "excuse me, my eyes are up here."

 

 

Edited April 26, 2021 by closetohumping

[WhatTheBuck 28,777]

3 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

if you're the youngest kid in a really big family, like eight kids or something, it might not be pleasant to think about, but you gotta be grateful that your Mom really liked the dick

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

[Guest Lobo]

nmnm

Edited April 26, 2021 by Lobo

[Guest Lobo]

4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

I forget how the rest goes, but his mother's a whore!

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

8 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

you're always fun to be around

[closetohumping 17,440]

Saw a lady flossing her teeth in her car this morning.  Disgusting.

 

Speaking of disgusting, indoor water parks, like the Great Wolf Lodge, horrible.  You're walking around in damp, mildewy carpet, eating and drinking your michelada with the smell of chlorine festering.  Some fat kid probably peed/puked in the lazy river.  

[WhatTheBuck 28,777]

6 minutes ago, SwanderedTalent said:

you're always fun to be around

Did I hurt your fee-fees, Shecky?

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

41 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Did I hurt your fee-fees, Shecky?

wait, were you serious?

[Guest Lobo]

1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

Speaking of disgusting, indoor water parks, like the Great Wolf Lodge, horrible.  You're walking around in damp, mildewy carpet, eating and drinking your michelada with the smell of chlorine festering.  Some fat kid probably peed/puked in the lazy river.  

Yeah, friends and neighbors keep insisting we visit the new Kalahari in Round Rock.  Even if it weren't Covid, indoor water parks have never been our jam.  Swimming in old band-aids doesn't sound fun.  If we are gonna do one, it'll be outdoor and on a sunny day so hopefully some disinfectant can occur naturally.  Then they tell me, "Well, the resort itself is really clean."  Yeah, I live 35 minutes from there...what do I give a shit if the rooms are nice?  

I guess my random thought is who thought indoor water parks could be something more than a giant e-coli petri dish?  I understand their allure up north where it's too fucking cold 10 months a year to do anything fun in the water.  But why Texas?  Why here?  Who looked at Schlitterbahn and thought, "Let's add 1000 hotel rooms and virtually guarantee the water is never clean."  

[closetohumping 17,440]

3 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, friends and neighbors keep insisting we visit the new Kalahari in Round Rock.  Even if it weren't Covid, indoor water parks have never been our jam.  Swimming in old band-aids doesn't sound fun.  If we are gonna do one, it'll be outdoor and on a sunny day so hopefully some disinfectant can occur naturally.  Then they tell me, "Well, the resort itself is really clean."  Yeah, I live 35 minutes from there...what do I give a shit if the rooms are nice?  

I guess my random thought is who thought indoor water parks could be something more than a giant e-coli petri dish?  I understand their allure up north where it's too fucking cold 10 months a year to do anything fun in the water.  But why Texas?  Why here?  Who looked at Schlitterbahn and thought, "Let's add 1000 hotel rooms and virtually guarantee the water is never clean."  

Petri dish.  Exactly.  Even pre-Covid, I found it disgusting.  I'm ok with the outdoor ones of course.

[WhatTheBuck 28,777]

1 hour ago, SwanderedTalent said:

wait, were you serious?

Were you?

[SwanderedTalent 5,761]

4 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Were you?

always-- my mission with every post on this website no matter how frivolous the subject is to educate

[El Diablo 4,232]

11 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

Grateful either way. 

#5 holla! 

[El Diablo 4,232]

1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, friends and neighbors keep insisting we visit the new Kalahari in Round Rock.  Even if it weren't Covid, indoor water parks have never been our jam.  Swimming in old band-aids doesn't sound fun.  If we are gonna do one, it'll be outdoor and on a sunny day so hopefully some disinfectant can occur naturally.  Then they tell me, "Well, the resort itself is really clean."  Yeah, I live 35 minutes from there...what do I give a shit if the rooms are nice?  

I guess my random thought is who thought indoor water parks could be something more than a giant e-coli petri dish?  I understand their allure up north where it's too fucking cold 10 months a year to do anything fun in the water.  But why Texas?  Why here?  Who looked at Schlitterbahn and thought, "Let's add 1000 hotel rooms and virtually guarantee the water is never clean."  

People who would sanction a killer theme park ride?

[Gatorubet 30,228]

Why are my white nose hairs so much longer than the others? Surely there is a biological explanation for this.

User name checks out

[markstanco 12,575]

Watching some show with the wife. The channel is giving away a house in Jupiter Florida, which is a really expensive area.

Who TF that would take the time to enter their name, address, and email for a drawing that can afford that place after year 1?

[closetohumping 17,440]

Every time I turn on the tele, I can watch some chapter of Harry Potter and or Fast and the Furious.

[Prepuce of Doom 21,071]

There is never a line for the bathroom at the water park. 

[Crapinon 2,257]

On 4/25/2021 at 5:34 PM, closetohumping said:

Is a dude wearing jogging pants similar to a chick wearing a low cut blouse?  Every time I wear them I catch people staring at my junk 

Try pulling them up from around your ankles.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

9 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

There is never a line for the bathroom at the water park. 

[davidg 4,036]

10 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

There is never a line for the bathroom at the water park. 

[MajorMajor 109]

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

This is how you Surl, well done sir

[Willfully Horn 8,014]

“When your opus becomes your onus then you’re out on your anus.”

-Howard Armstrong the fiddler

[Longboard Horn 40,317]

[El Diablo 4,232]

In 1974 this song made the Billboard Top 100.

 

[Shoxthemonkey 1,977]

Can you imagine the first people to discover harmony, sitting around the fire singing barbershop quartet tunes?

[cactusflinthead 27,598]

I do this with plants.

 

[closetohumping 17,440]

I'd like to discuss a topic that should be near and dear to all of us.  Taking a shit.

1. Precovid, if you lived within 3 miles from your office, would you shit in the office or just drive home?  What mileage are you willing to drive home?

2. You're in a stall taking a growler.  And someone is taking a piss.  You both finish at the same time.  Do you wait for the other party to wash his hands first or do you just come out and act non chalantly?

3. You have to comb your hair and take a shit.  Which one would you do first?

[Jerry Callo 8,700]

On 4/15/2021 at 10:56 AM, Superhero said:

After a few years of work with me on anger management, my therapist telling me "You're good, we don't need to meet anymore."

$400/mo extra play money beotches.

Try not to think of the $400/mo you've been paying a therapist - it'll only piss you off.

[Guest Lobo]

4 hours ago, closetohumping said:

I'd like to discuss a topic that should be near and dear to all of us.  Taking a shit.

1. Precovid, if you lived within 3 miles from your office, would you shit in the office or just drive home?  What mileage are you willing to drive home?

2. You're in a stall taking a growler.  And someone is taking a piss.  You both finish at the same time.  Do you wait for the other party to wash his hands first or do you just come out and act non chalantly?

3. You have to comb your hair and take a shit.  Which one would you do first?

1.   Under 3 miles, yeah...I'd drive home and get it done but most of my workplaces were never that close.  Mileage isn't so much the issue as time.  I guess my former downtown office was maybe just 3-4 miles from home, but it was 10 minutes just to get downstairs, across to the garage, and get truck outta garage.  

3.  I feel like this is something Rafi from "The League" probably dealt with.  "Why do you have a hairbrush between your legs, Rafi?"  

[elfenix 34,236]

1. I live less than 5 miles from work and have never come home just to take a shit.

2. Continue on Surly until other party has left the restroom, then flush, wash, and exit.

3. If my ass hair gets long enough to need combing before taking a shit I'm going to some place to get it ripped out.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,905]

2 hours ago, elfenix said:

3. If my ass hair gets long enough to need combing before taking a shit I'm going to some place to get it ripped out.
 

https://www.butt-wax.com/how-butt-wax-works

[Hate 20,108]

On 4/26/2021 at 11:50 AM, Lobo said:

Yeah, friends and neighbors keep insisting we visit the new Kalahari in Round Rock.  Even if it weren't Covid, indoor water parks have never been our jam.  Swimming in old band-aids doesn't sound fun.  If we are gonna do one, it'll be outdoor and on a sunny day so hopefully some disinfectant can occur naturally.  Then they tell me, "Well, the resort itself is really clean."  Yeah, I live 35 minutes from there...what do I give a shit if the rooms are nice?  

I guess my random thought is who thought indoor water parks could be something more than a giant e-coli petri dish?  I understand their allure up north where it's too fucking cold 10 months a year to do anything fun in the water.  But why Texas?  Why here?  Who looked at Schlitterbahn and thought, "Let's add 1000 hotel rooms and virtually guarantee the water is never clean."  

Go to the JW Marriott in SA.  It's actually really nice.  Get one of the private cabanas. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,777]

Gayle King on CBS News must have 100 pairs of glasses which she chooses in order to match her wardrobe on any given day. Nothing wrong with that. What’s kind of strange is that she doesn’t wear them during the 7 o’clock hour of CBS This Morning, only the 8 o’clock hour. I assume there was some sort of focus group influence behind that. More men watch the first hour of the show while there are more women in the audience for the second hour and the matching frames appeal more to the women than the men. That’s just a guess but I’d bet money on it. That’s worthy of notice in and by itself, imo.

I’m not sure if it was yesterday or the day before but Gayle announced that her daughter was pregnant with her first granddaughter and, coincidentally, she didn’t wear her glasses during the second hour of the show. I don’t care either way but I think the psychology there is easy to read.

Al Roker on NBC, otoh, I’m not sure what he’s thinking with his glasses other than that he’s trying to copy Gayle King. I’m just happy for him that he lost all that weight. 

[Prepuce of Doom 21,071]

[Bama Llama 1,450]

On 4/26/2021 at 8:34 PM, markstanco said:

Watching some show with the wife. The channel is giving away a house in Jupiter Florida, which is a really expensive area.

Who TF that would take the time to enter their name, address, and email for a drawing that can afford that place after year 1?

Like plumage, the affordability  don't enter into it.  I would welcome the net after-tax proceeds of selling a Jupiter house at the mere cost of my contact info.  However,  privacy concerns and the miniscule likelihood of success keep me from to entering bullshit quasi lottery drawings and such.  

[LW Goatman 1,123]

"Jimbo 2022 Balls to the Face" is one of the greatest thread titles ever.

[Superhero 8,829]

I'm fucking depressed. Another person in my team just quit to work at another company. This is the 2nd person I've lost to that competitor.

Both of them left because our work has shifted towards hard-bidding construction projects instead of the more challenging hospitals / labs projects.

Unfortunately I don't think this is the 2nd domino to fall, and there will be others who follow.

FUCK!

[Scheiss Meister 8,407]

3 hours ago, Superhero said:

I'm fucking depressed. Another person in my team just quit to work at another company. This is the 2nd person I've lost to that competitor.

Both of them left because our work has shifted towards hard-bidding construction projects instead of the more challenging hospitals / labs projects.

Unfortunately I don't think this is the 2nd domino to fall, and there will be others who follow.

FUCK!

I feel your pain.  I had three promising operators, upon whom I was basing my succession plan, leave within a month of each other a couple of years ago.  I still haven't found replacements as qualified as they were.  It sucks.

[El Diablo 4,232]

4 hours ago, Superhero said:

I'm fucking depressed. Another person in my team just quit to work at another company. This is the 2nd person I've lost to that competitor.

Both of them left because our work has shifted towards hard-bidding construction projects instead of the more challenging hospitals / labs projects.

Unfortunately I don't think this is the 2nd domino to fall, and there will be others who follow.

FUCK!

I went to work in a place where they had been losing key personnel and it turned out to be an extremely toxic environment to work in. Hell, the manager that hired me left within a couple of months for greener pastures. I lasted a year and a half and bailed. There was zero trust, zero cooperation, just a complete shitshow to walk into. 

Best of luck to you. 

[SHOOTER12 8,805]

On 4/28/2021 at 7:47 PM, cactusflinthead said:

I do this with plants.

 

Yeah my brother-in-law does the plants thing, of course he's a retired biology teacher that absolutely loved his job, poor bastard.

[SHOOTER12 8,805]

On 4/29/2021 at 10:31 AM, closetohumping said:

I'd like to discuss a topic that should be near and dear to all of us.  Taking a shit.

1. Precovid, if you lived within 3 miles from your office, would you shit in the office or just drive home?  What mileage are you willing to drive home?

2. You're in a stall taking a growler.  And someone is taking a piss.  You both finish at the same time.  Do you wait for the other party to wash his hands first or do you just come out and act non chalantly?

3. You have to comb your hair and take a shit.  Which one would you do first?

1.) I've driven 5 mi to my motel room on West loop Houston traffic to keep from using a public bathroom.

2.) Wait

3.) Comb hair first then take a s***.

Edited May 4, 2021 by SHOOTER12

[Superhero 8,829]

3 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

I went to work in a place where they had been losing key personnel and it turned out to be an extremely toxic environment to work in. Hell, the manager that hired me left within a couple of months for greener pastures. I lasted a year and a half and bailed. There was zero trust, zero cooperation, just a complete shitshow to walk into. 

Best of luck to you. 

We have a great CEO division president - both in their 40s, smart as hell, and really caring / personable. The culture they bring generally permeates through the company.

Overall the people are great, and low-performers generally weeded out quickly. It's just too bad that we pivoted slightly last year to maintain revenue, and the 2 people that quit wanted to work on more challenging projects. 

[cactusflinthead 27,598]

42 minutes ago, SHOOTER12 said:

Yeah my brother-in-law does the plants thing, of course he's a retired biology teacher that absolutely loved his job, poor bastard.

I have been known to break hard and pull over for a patch of wildflowers and some trees.

[El Diablo 4,232]

1 hour ago, Superhero said:

We have a great CEO division president - both in their 40s, smart as hell, and really caring / personable. The culture they bring generally permeates through the company.

Overall the people are great, and low-performers generally weeded out quickly. It's just too bad that we pivoted slightly last year to maintain revenue, and the 2 people that quit wanted to work on more challenging projects. 

The situation I ran into was different, the company had a few employees laid off and those managers that lost employees were pissed that their people were the ones chosen. That was the start of it I was told later when I asked wtf. Things spiraled downward soon after. I think the fact that we were an outpost of a much larger corporate giant (GE) and lacked strong internal/local leadership probably had a lot to do with the way things deteriorated. it was an engineering driven biz and the ones that left all found better jobs elsewhere. 

[Willfully Horn 8,014]

 

[markstanco 12,575]

I used to stress when my phone got below 80%. No idea why. But I do still stress when it hits around 25.