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By GSU&UT
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Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28930

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Posted
3 hours ago, SwanderedTalent said:

if you're the youngest kid in a really big family, like eight kids or something, it might not be pleasant to think about, but you gotta be grateful that your Mom really liked the dick

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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4 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

I forget how the rest goes, but his mother's a whore!

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SwanderedTalent

SwanderedTalent 5761

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8 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

you're always fun to be around

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17818

Posted
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Saw a lady flossing her teeth in her car this morning.  Disgusting.

 

Speaking of disgusting, indoor water parks, like the Great Wolf Lodge, horrible.  You're walking around in damp, mildewy carpet, eating and drinking your michelada with the smell of chlorine festering.  Some fat kid probably peed/puked in the lazy river.  

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

Speaking of disgusting, indoor water parks, like the Great Wolf Lodge, horrible.  You're walking around in damp, mildewy carpet, eating and drinking your michelada with the smell of chlorine festering.  Some fat kid probably peed/puked in the lazy river.  

Yeah, friends and neighbors keep insisting we visit the new Kalahari in Round Rock.  Even if it weren't Covid, indoor water parks have never been our jam.  Swimming in old band-aids doesn't sound fun.  If we are gonna do one, it'll be outdoor and on a sunny day so hopefully some disinfectant can occur naturally.  Then they tell me, "Well, the resort itself is really clean."  Yeah, I live 35 minutes from there...what do I give a shit if the rooms are nice?  

I guess my random thought is who thought indoor water parks could be something more than a giant e-coli petri dish?  I understand their allure up north where it's too fucking cold 10 months a year to do anything fun in the water.  But why Texas?  Why here?  Who looked at Schlitterbahn and thought, "Let's add 1000 hotel rooms and virtually guarantee the water is never clean."  

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17818

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3 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, friends and neighbors keep insisting we visit the new Kalahari in Round Rock.  Even if it weren't Covid, indoor water parks have never been our jam.  Swimming in old band-aids doesn't sound fun.  If we are gonna do one, it'll be outdoor and on a sunny day so hopefully some disinfectant can occur naturally.  Then they tell me, "Well, the resort itself is really clean."  Yeah, I live 35 minutes from there...what do I give a shit if the rooms are nice?  

I guess my random thought is who thought indoor water parks could be something more than a giant e-coli petri dish?  I understand their allure up north where it's too fucking cold 10 months a year to do anything fun in the water.  But why Texas?  Why here?  Who looked at Schlitterbahn and thought, "Let's add 1000 hotel rooms and virtually guarantee the water is never clean."  

Petri dish.  Exactly.  Even pre-Covid, I found it disgusting.  I'm ok with the outdoor ones of course.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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11 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 

Grateful either way. 

#5 holla! 

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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Posted
1 hour ago, Lobo said:

Yeah, friends and neighbors keep insisting we visit the new Kalahari in Round Rock.  Even if it weren't Covid, indoor water parks have never been our jam.  Swimming in old band-aids doesn't sound fun.  If we are gonna do one, it'll be outdoor and on a sunny day so hopefully some disinfectant can occur naturally.  Then they tell me, "Well, the resort itself is really clean."  Yeah, I live 35 minutes from there...what do I give a shit if the rooms are nice?  

I guess my random thought is who thought indoor water parks could be something more than a giant e-coli petri dish?  I understand their allure up north where it's too fucking cold 10 months a year to do anything fun in the water.  But why Texas?  Why here?  Who looked at Schlitterbahn and thought, "Let's add 1000 hotel rooms and virtually guarantee the water is never clean."  

People who would sanction a killer theme park ride?

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MajorMajor

MajorMajor 109

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Or that she believes it’s her duty as a wife to lie there and let her husband do his business for a couple minutes whenever he wants. And maybe she’s a member of a religious sect that doesn’t believe in birth control. And that sex is inherently dirty, an animal act, and only to be used for procreation and not for personal pleasure. She’s trapped in a loveless marriage to a man who couldn’t find her clitoris if he tried and doesn’t believe the female orgasm is a thing let alone that he might have a responsibility to pleasure her. So all she has is her love for her children and the only sexual satisfaction she ever gets is what she gives to herself over fantasies of the pool boy whenever no one else is around. 
This is how you Surl, well done sir
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closetohumping

closetohumping 17818

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I'd like to discuss a topic that should be near and dear to all of us.  Taking a shit.

1. Precovid, if you lived within 3 miles from your office, would you shit in the office or just drive home?  What mileage are you willing to drive home?

2. You're in a stall taking a growler.  And someone is taking a piss.  You both finish at the same time.  Do you wait for the other party to wash his hands first or do you just come out and act non chalantly?

3. You have to comb your hair and take a shit.  Which one would you do first?

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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8960

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On 4/15/2021 at 10:56 AM, Superhero said:

After a few years of work with me on anger management, my therapist telling me "You're good, we don't need to meet anymore."

$400/mo extra play money beotches.

Try not to think of the $400/mo you've been paying a therapist - it'll only piss you off.

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Guest Lobo

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4 hours ago, closetohumping said:

I'd like to discuss a topic that should be near and dear to all of us.  Taking a shit.

1. Precovid, if you lived within 3 miles from your office, would you shit in the office or just drive home?  What mileage are you willing to drive home?

2. You're in a stall taking a growler.  And someone is taking a piss.  You both finish at the same time.  Do you wait for the other party to wash his hands first or do you just come out and act non chalantly?

3. You have to comb your hair and take a shit.  Which one would you do first?

1.   Under 3 miles, yeah...I'd drive home and get it done but most of my workplaces were never that close.  Mileage isn't so much the issue as time.  I guess my former downtown office was maybe just 3-4 miles from home, but it was 10 minutes just to get downstairs, across to the garage, and get truck outta garage.  

3.  I feel like this is something Rafi from "The League" probably dealt with.  "Why do you have a hairbrush between your legs, Rafi?"  

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elfenix

elfenix 34752

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1. I live less than 5 miles from work and have never come home just to take a shit.

2. Continue on Surly until other party has left the restroom, then flush, wash, and exit.

3. If my ass hair gets long enough to need combing before taking a shit I'm going to some place to get it ripped out.

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Hate

Hate 20249

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Posted
On 4/26/2021 at 11:50 AM, Lobo said:

Yeah, friends and neighbors keep insisting we visit the new Kalahari in Round Rock.  Even if it weren't Covid, indoor water parks have never been our jam.  Swimming in old band-aids doesn't sound fun.  If we are gonna do one, it'll be outdoor and on a sunny day so hopefully some disinfectant can occur naturally.  Then they tell me, "Well, the resort itself is really clean."  Yeah, I live 35 minutes from there...what do I give a shit if the rooms are nice?  

I guess my random thought is who thought indoor water parks could be something more than a giant e-coli petri dish?  I understand their allure up north where it's too fucking cold 10 months a year to do anything fun in the water.  But why Texas?  Why here?  Who looked at Schlitterbahn and thought, "Let's add 1000 hotel rooms and virtually guarantee the water is never clean."  

Go to the JW Marriott in SA.  It's actually really nice.  Get one of the private cabanas. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28930

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Gayle King on CBS News must have 100 pairs of glasses which she chooses in order to match her wardrobe on any given day. Nothing wrong with that. What’s kind of strange is that she doesn’t wear them during the 7 o’clock hour of CBS This Morning, only the 8 o’clock hour. I assume there was some sort of focus group influence behind that. More men watch the first hour of the show while there are more women in the audience for the second hour and the matching frames appeal more to the women than the men. That’s just a guess but I’d bet money on it. That’s worthy of notice in and by itself, imo.

I’m not sure if it was yesterday or the day before but Gayle announced that her daughter was pregnant with her first granddaughter and, coincidentally, she didn’t wear her glasses during the second hour of the show. I don’t care either way but I think the psychology there is easy to read.

Al Roker on NBC, otoh, I’m not sure what he’s thinking with his glasses other than that he’s trying to copy Gayle King. I’m just happy for him that he lost all that weight. 

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Bama Llama

Bama Llama 1508

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On 4/26/2021 at 8:34 PM, markstanco said:

Watching some show with the wife. The channel is giving away a house in Jupiter Florida, which is a really expensive area.

Who TF that would take the time to enter their name, address, and email for a drawing that can afford that place after year 1?

Like plumage, the affordability  don't enter into it.  I would welcome the net after-tax proceeds of selling a Jupiter house at the mere cost of my contact info.  However,  privacy concerns and the miniscule likelihood of success keep me from to entering bullshit quasi lottery drawings and such.  

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Superhero

Superhero 9025

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Posted

I'm fucking depressed. Another person in my team just quit to work at another company. This is the 2nd person I've lost to that competitor.

Both of them left because our work has shifted towards hard-bidding construction projects instead of the more challenging hospitals / labs projects.

Unfortunately I don't think this is the 2nd domino to fall, and there will be others who follow.

FUCK!

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8471

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3 hours ago, Superhero said:

I'm fucking depressed. Another person in my team just quit to work at another company. This is the 2nd person I've lost to that competitor.

Both of them left because our work has shifted towards hard-bidding construction projects instead of the more challenging hospitals / labs projects.

Unfortunately I don't think this is the 2nd domino to fall, and there will be others who follow.

FUCK!

I feel your pain.  I had three promising operators, upon whom I was basing my succession plan, leave within a month of each other a couple of years ago.  I still haven't found replacements as qualified as they were.  It sucks.

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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4 hours ago, Superhero said:

I'm fucking depressed. Another person in my team just quit to work at another company. This is the 2nd person I've lost to that competitor.

Both of them left because our work has shifted towards hard-bidding construction projects instead of the more challenging hospitals / labs projects.

Unfortunately I don't think this is the 2nd domino to fall, and there will be others who follow.

FUCK!

I went to work in a place where they had been losing key personnel and it turned out to be an extremely toxic environment to work in. Hell, the manager that hired me left within a couple of months for greener pastures. I lasted a year and a half and bailed. There was zero trust, zero cooperation, just a complete shitshow to walk into. 

Best of luck to you. 

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8886

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 4/29/2021 at 10:31 AM, closetohumping said:

I'd like to discuss a topic that should be near and dear to all of us.  Taking a shit.

1. Precovid, if you lived within 3 miles from your office, would you shit in the office or just drive home?  What mileage are you willing to drive home?

2. You're in a stall taking a growler.  And someone is taking a piss.  You both finish at the same time.  Do you wait for the other party to wash his hands first or do you just come out and act non chalantly?

3. You have to comb your hair and take a shit.  Which one would you do first?

1.) I've driven 5 mi to my motel room on West loop Houston traffic to keep from using a public bathroom.

2.) Wait

3.) Comb hair first then take a s***.

Edited by SHOOTER12
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Superhero

Superhero 9025

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3 minutes ago, El Diablo said:

I went to work in a place where they had been losing key personnel and it turned out to be an extremely toxic environment to work in. Hell, the manager that hired me left within a couple of months for greener pastures. I lasted a year and a half and bailed. There was zero trust, zero cooperation, just a complete shitshow to walk into. 

Best of luck to you. 

We have a great CEO division president - both in their 40s, smart as hell, and really caring / personable. The culture they bring generally permeates through the company.

Overall the people are great, and low-performers generally weeded out quickly. It's just too bad that we pivoted slightly last year to maintain revenue, and the 2 people that quit wanted to work on more challenging projects. 

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El Diablo

El Diablo 4232

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1 hour ago, Superhero said:

We have a great CEO division president - both in their 40s, smart as hell, and really caring / personable. The culture they bring generally permeates through the company.

Overall the people are great, and low-performers generally weeded out quickly. It's just too bad that we pivoted slightly last year to maintain revenue, and the 2 people that quit wanted to work on more challenging projects. 

The situation I ran into was different, the company had a few employees laid off and those managers that lost employees were pissed that their people were the ones chosen. That was the start of it I was told later when I asked wtf. Things spiraled downward soon after. I think the fact that we were an outpost of a much larger corporate giant (GE) and lacked strong internal/local leadership probably had a lot to do with the way things deteriorated. it was an engineering driven biz and the ones that left all found better jobs elsewhere. 

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