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Crapinon

Crapinon 2244

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17 minutes ago, Superhero said:

On Tuesday, my friend went in for an ablation procedure to treat atrial fibrillation. It's supposed to be a minimally invasive procedure, and for some, it can be an outpatient procedure. But there were, as the doctor said, "COMPLICATIONS".

For some reason, my friend start losing blood. A LOT of blood. He started bleeding out and lost about 2L (out of 6L in his body). He went into cardiac arrest and the hospital called a Code Blue. They did chest compressions and probably used a defibrillator to get his heart start pumping again. He woke up the next morning in the ICU and said his chest was black and blue from the compressions.

The fucker is only 42, in the best shape of his life, doing multiple sprint- and half-marathons in the past year. His kids are the same age as mine, 9 and 7. It's fucking scary how a routine procedure could go so wrong.

Years ago, my father-in-law was going in for a heart procedure. He told me that the surgeon said there was 1 in 1000 chance of something going wrong. I told him those seem like pretty good odds. He said "yeah they are, unless you're one of those one thousand". 

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Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

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Just put my dog down. We spent the whole afternoon giving her one last sun and the kids took pics and all that. They took it better than me. I was with my her to the end at least and she licked me rig

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nnm

nnm 35838

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

Nothing is more awkward than boys dressed up in tuxedos for prom. They don’t know what to do with their hands that won’t get them in trouble. 

Had dinner at Chili’s in Lindale this evening. Sat in the bar. A HS prom couple was sitting at the same side of the table at another table in the bar. When you’re a HS senior in Van, Tx, your options for treating your lady special for prom are limited. 
Their check was picked up by another table. I think everyone in the bar wanted to pay for them. 
And yes, the young man looked miserably awkward. 

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tbone_

tbone_ 14016

Posted
Posted
Had dinner at Chili’s in Lindale this evening. Sat in the bar. A HS prom couple was sitting at the same side of the table at another table in the bar. When you’re a HS senior in Van, Tx, your options for treating your lady special for prom are limited. 
Their check was picked up by another table. I think everyone in the bar wanted to pay for them. 
And yes, the young man looked miserably awkward. 

Until he’s hammered later and pounding her in his car
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Helobious

Helobious 9456

Posted
Posted
On 4/23/2022 at 2:54 PM, Crapinon said:

Years ago, my father-in-law was going in for a heart procedure. He told me that the surgeon said there was 1 in 1000 chance of something going wrong. I told him those seem like pretty good odds. He said "yeah they are, unless you're one of those one thousand". 

All you got to do is asked what happened to the last 999 people that got the surgery. If one of them died you’re good to go. 

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40628

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My nephew’s FIL came home yesterday - drove his SUV up the slightly inclined driveway and couldn’t take his foot off the gas pedal. 
He drove through the garage door, hit the classic Mercedes-Benz parked inside, shoving it through the back wall into his newly remodeled kitchen. 
The fridge wound up on the opposite wall by the sink, with the Mercedes occupying the fridge’s normal space. Another 15’ and the fridge would have landed in his swimming pool

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28691

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19 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

I saw Pat Boone circa 1978 at a Ramada Inn in St. Louis as part of our overnight stay. 

image.jpeg.711c0d3374bcbf1fc1332c9281cf0ce0.jpeg

Prior to this.

I’d have to check my ticket stubs but I’m guessing this was around 1997. A platonic female friend and I went to see Bob Weir and RatDog play at the Louisville Palace Theater. Great show, really nice venue.

61B5328E-1364-40A0-A877-16307F595E63.png.32818bd481b674b8b7bdc421cc3a7e56.png

We weren’t seated together. We had each just purchased single seats separately and I gave her a ride. But we were both tripping on acid. Rather than make the drive back to Columbus after the show we decided to get a room at a Ramada hotel just off I-71 on the northeast side of town. Coming down, we settled into the hotel bar to have a few drinks. It was glorious. They had this piano player who was a sight to see. He was an old guy trying not to look old. He actually wore a puffy shirt. And makeup. And there was a mirror positioned above the piano so you could see his fingers on the keys. You could also see the seam in the wig he was wearing. It was so beautifully bizarre.

And the crowd was sort of unique as well. There was this old guy sitting by himself near the piano who was wearing a shirt with big fish on it. Both of us Phish fans at the time, I convinced my friend to go try to buy his shirt from him. She sat and talked with him for quite awhile. Alas, she was unsuccessful. That was a pretty cool shirt.

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nnm

nnm 35838

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

I’d have to check my ticket stubs but I’m guessing this was around 1997. A platonic female friend and I went to see Bob Weir and RatDog play at the Louisville Palace Theater. Great show, really nice venue.

61B5328E-1364-40A0-A877-16307F595E63.png.32818bd481b674b8b7bdc421cc3a7e56.png

We weren’t seated together. We had each just purchased single seats separately and I gave her a ride. But we were both tripping on acid. Rather than make the drive back to Columbus after the show we decided to get a room at a Ramada hotel just off I-71 on the northeast side of town. Coming down, we settled into the hotel bar to have a few drinks. It was glorious. They had this piano player who was a sight to see. He was an old guy trying not to look old. He actually wore a puffy shirt. And makeup. And there was a mirror positioned above the piano so you could see his fingers on the keys. You could also see the seam in the wig he was wearing. It was so beautifully bizarre.

And the crowd was sort of unique as well. There was this old guy sitting by himself near the piano who was wearing a shirt with big fish on it. Both of us Phish fans at the time, I convinced my friend to go try to buy his shirt from him. She sat and talked with him for quite awhile. Alas, she was unsuccessful. That was a pretty cool shirt.

Attended concert with female platonic friends, dropped acid, stayed at hotel, got drinks at the bar. 
There is a glaring hole in your plot line. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28691

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, nnm said:

Attended concert with female platonic friends, dropped acid, stayed at hotel, got drinks at the bar. 
There is a glaring hole in your plot line. 

If she was an attractive woman, the story would’ve turned out differently, and she probably would’ve gotten that shirt. She was a good friend, though. We met on a mailing list for The String Cheese Incident. The first time we met in person it was obvious that we would never be more than friends. But we hung out a lot and went to a number of shows together.

She eventually got married. This guy was kind of a moron. He meant well but he was sort of a drunken fool. He used to occasionally come to a regular poker game I played in. He sucked at poker. And he was already drunk by the time he showed up. That was fine. But he had this habit of, when he was folding, turning his hole cards up before turning them and his up cards back down. I kept telling him not to do that and he’d say, “Sorry, I guess I’m just an asshole.” And I would say, “Yes! You are! Stop doing that!” But that message never got through.

She was really cool but wasn’t exactly in a position to be picky when choosing a mate. Here’s how dumb this guy was. We were playing dealer’s choice poker. He made up a game of Omaha with two wild cards. Then, when the board had a pair showing, he raised, and re-raised, with...a flush. 

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Superhero

Superhero 8692

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I was on a zoom call with a guy who was almost a spitting image of me. Same hair, glasses, facial structure, same blue shirt. The main difference was he had a bigger nose.

At first I was confused why I showed up in a different rectangle than where I'm supposed to be...

 

I took a screenshot and showed it to my wife and family. My sister did a double-take and had to really study the picture to make sure it wasn't me.

 

It's sad that there's another person in the world who shares my ugly mug.

 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20948

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Superhero said:

I was on a zoom call with a guy who was almost a spitting image of me. Same hair, glasses, facial structure, same blue shirt. The main difference was he had a bigger nose.

At first I was confused why I showed up in a different rectangle than where I'm supposed to be...

 

I took a screenshot and showed it to my wife and family. My sister did a double-take and had to really study the picture to make sure it wasn't me.

 

It's sad that there's another person in the world who shares my ugly mug.

 

Figure out a way to make the Seattle team think he's you, and you'll be out from under those assholes forever. 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Superhero said:

I was on a zoom call with a guy who was almost a spitting image of me. Same hair, glasses, facial structure, same blue shirt. The main difference was he had a bigger nose.

At first I was confused why I showed up in a different rectangle than where I'm supposed to be...

 

I took a screenshot and showed it to my wife and family. My sister did a double-take and had to really study the picture to make sure it wasn't me.

 

It's sad that there's another person in the world who shares my ugly mug.

 

Maybe he's a robot sent from the future. You're not Sarah Connor, are you?

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Underdog

Underdog 28364

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Posted
On 4/26/2022 at 2:16 PM, nnm said:

Attended concert with female platonic friends, dropped acid, stayed at hotel, got drinks at the bar. 
There is a glaring hole in your plot line. 

Right?  No mention of Paul the real estate novelist or Davy, who’s still in the Navy and probably will be for life.  But no, they had to harass some old fart making love to his tonic and gin.  

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Superhero

Superhero 8692

Posted
Posted
On 4/27/2022 at 4:41 PM, Superhero said:

I was on a zoom call with a guy who was almost a spitting image of me. Same hair, glasses, facial structure, same blue shirt. The main difference was he had a bigger nose.

It's sad that there's another person in the world who shares my ugly mug.

The poor bastard...

image.png.a11846f78e29b15c53b3af205933df85.png

 

BTW, my sister said she had a lab partner in college (almost 30 years ago) that might look like him if he had gray hair. She said his name was David Kim.... The guy on the zoom call with was named David Kim...

Spooky.

 

 

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 20948

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Posted
2 hours ago, Crapinon said:

If I had a time machine, I would go back and throat punch the person who invented popcorn ceilings. Then I would go forward a few years and kill the home improvement ass that said scrapping it all off and repainting it was a must do. 

 

Funny, I'd go back in time and kill Orville Redenbacher. 

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40628

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Crapinon said:

If I had a time machine, I would go back and throat punch the person who invented popcorn ceilings. Then I would go forward a few years and kill the home improvement ass that said scrapping it all off and repainting it was a must do. 

 

My #2 son would agree with you..... and he gets paid a lot for scraping & repainting it. 
currently is renovating my granddaughter’s (new to her) 1980s condo.
(see new stone fireplace veneer  below)

 

 

D6D537C0-0152-48D1-B810-FADE745ABCC1.jpeg

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Superhero

Superhero 8692

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Posted
5 hours ago, Armybrat said:

My #2 son would agree with you..... and he gets paid a lot for scraping & repainting it. 
currently is renovating my granddaughter’s (new to her) 1980s condo.
(see new stone fireplace veneer  below)

 

 

D6D537C0-0152-48D1-B810-FADE745ABCC1.jpeg

image.thumb.png.90e36c0854fa10f4fa0089951d932432.png

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NeverMarryAStripper

NeverMarryAStripper 21776

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“Science is more than a body of knowledge; it is a way of thinking. I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time—when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the key manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness.”
 

Carl Sagan,1995

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28691

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Posted
1 hour ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

“Science is more than a body of knowledge; it is a way of thinking. I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time—when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the key manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness.”
 

Carl Sagan,1995

Is that from The Demon-Haunted World?  I haven’t read it but it resembles another quote I’ve seen from that book. I should read it but I’m not sure it would tell me anything I don’t already know. I read The Dragons of Eden when I was in high school, though, and that was great. I never read Contact but I have the DVD. He was great at writing fiction too. I’ve been a fan ever since watching the Cosmos series on PBS back when it first aired. I miss that guy. He was an inspiration. The story of what he did to help a young Neil deGrasse Tyson is pretty cool too.

https://www.businessinsider.com/inspiring-story-young-neil-degrasse-tyson-met-carl-sagan-2015-11

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nnm

nnm 35838

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Posted
1 hour ago, Underdog said:

Recently rubbed one out only to be met with disapproving eyes from the cat, gave me the that’s disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself look. 

Well, it is undefeated. 

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nnm

nnm 35838

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Today’s frequent traveler lesson:  9lbs of densely packed tortillas in your carryon bag will cause TSA to open and search your bag.

When I was growing up in northern NM, everybody’s grandma would make tortillas on the cooktop of their kitchen wood stove. That fresh, hot, pillowy tortilla, with fresh butter on it, would be a little slice of heaven when I’d take a break from causing trouble with my friends. 
Supermarket tortillas just don’t come close to that ideal. The closest are “Grandma’s Tortillas” brand from the Bueno company in NM. They aren’t sold in TX, at least as far as I’ve been able to find. So whenever I come to NM, I stock up on multiple packages, and freeze them, gradually using them until I need a restock. 
On my weekend trip to help take care of mom (helped her plant her vegetable garden, etc.), I picked up 9 1lb packages and packed them in my carryon (checking bags is against my religion). 
Sure enough, 9lbs of densely packed tortillas was sketchy in the eyes of TSA. I just laughed as they unpacked my bag to look through the tortillas. 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26437

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Posted
7 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

Big, badda boom just happened outside.

3 thoughts went off in my head.

Thunder

One of the military bases is getting fucked over.

Police are blowing shit up(live near training facility.)

Didn't get out of bed.

This is my attitude with 99.9999% of things and it pisses my wife off. She jumps out of bed and I get the "do you think Russia just nuked us? Did someone run into the neighbors house? {Insert another crazy ass scenario}"

My response is always the same. I can't do anything about it, so I'm going to sleep. 

Tone.

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8372

Posted
Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

Big, badda boom just happened outside.

3 thoughts went off in my head.

Thunder

One of the military bases is getting fucked over.

Police are blowing shit up(live near training facility.)

Didn't get out of bed.

I live about a mile or so from a company that does explosive welding to join dissimilar metals.  Most of their projects are small enough to do indoors, but they have a pool outside for large pieces.  When they do a large piece, at our house it sounds like a dump truck tailgate slamming shut really hard.  The first few we heard startled me a bit, but I got used to it.  Since I learned what the booms are, I hardly pay them any mind.  My wife still freaks out sometimes, though.

Very close thunder still gets my undivided attention.

Edited by Scheiss Meister
Speling
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