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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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Born to Run

Born to Run 6601

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You clean your nostrils with Q-Tips?
I use Puffs.
And just one Q-Tip to very gently clean my ears after a shower.
When I brush my teeth I also brush my tongue. When I was a freshman, a roommate asked me, “Did you just brush your tongue?!” And I said, “Yeah.” I thought everyone did that. Everyone should. I don’t know if he ever adopted the practice.
It doesn’t appear that Miley Cyrus does and that’s just gross.
8e03c346-0c3e-400e-b89e-a1d7ded8ea39.jpg
It's a pretty encouraged standard of health around the world including Ayurveda.
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Born to Run

Born to Run 6601

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Yes, i live here also and it really seems to be kept under wraps. To me it feels as if we're averaging one/day. It reminds me of living in NOLA and it's same rame race on same race and young people or street people that nobody cares about.
Ha Ha, I grew up on the North Side of Houston in the 80s when were sipping and holding down rep as "murder capital of the world"

Nola has been hot for the last two years and isn't slowing down for working class folks/hoods.

It fucking sucks
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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28929

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21 minutes ago, Born to Run said:

It's a pretty encouraged standard of health around the world including Ayurveda.

I don’t remember when I started doing it. Maybe in junior high? Definitely no earlier than 5th grade. No one ever told me to. I just figured out that it made sense. And it made food taste better. 

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Born to Run

Born to Run 6601

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I don’t remember when I started doing it. Maybe in junior high? Definitely no earlier than 5th grade. No one ever told me to. I just figured out that it made sense. And it made food taste better. 
Yeah and your breath isn't foul af. Hygiene man, Yall fuckers floss too please. Have some self respect.
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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8469

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There should be a $10,000 reward for anyone who gets pictures of assholes passing school buses with their red lights flashing that include the asshole's license plate and is usable for evidence.  I saw a near miss that scared the shit out of me late last week.  Alas, I wasn't ready with my phone.

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markstanco

markstanco 12786

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I typically use 6 or 7 Q-tips after every shower.

Clean my ears & nostrils.

I mostly do a rando grab into the box & prob. 80% of the time, I end up with 6.

Sent from my SM-A326U1 using Tapatalk



I dip a Q in alcohol and clean each morning, twice in each ear. 6 or 7? Weird. Especially the odd number of 7. Which ear gets the most love?
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nnm

nnm 37904

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3 hours ago, markstanco said:


I dip a Q in alcohol and clean each morning, twice in each ear. 6 or 7? Weird. Especially the odd number of 7. Which ear gets the most love?

He’s probably going for as many orifices as possible. 

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Helobious

Helobious 9818

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Went to UTRGV graduation on Saturday for a relative. Pre-ceremony speeches were maybe  15 minutes total, and that was with them being given in both English & Spanish. Graduates & their families were asked to leave after the graduate walked the stage. Made for a nice non-logjam when leaving. Also they put a photo & quote from the graduate up on the big screen as they walked across. It made watching the School of Nursing graduation very enjoyable. Easily the most bearable graduation I’ve ever been to. 

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nnm

nnm 37904

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18 minutes ago, Helobious said:

Went to UTRGV graduation on Saturday for a relative. Pre-ceremony speeches were maybe  15 minutes total, and that was with them being given in both English & Spanish. Graduates & their families were asked to leave after the graduate walked the stage. Made for a nice non-logjam when leaving. Also they put a photo & quote from the graduate up on the big screen as they walked across. It made watching the School of Nursing graduation very enjoyable. Easily the most bearable graduation I’ve ever been to. 

We went to a nephew's wedding a few weeks ago.  The bride has a big, close family and included most of them in the wedding in some way.  She had cousins up and down the maids/matrons of honor and groomsmen.  I think 10 on each side.  When it came time for the toasts in the wedding reception, I think every single one of them gave a toast, which was not a toast, but a meandering talking about the family and friends.  The father-of-the-bride speech alone took 30 minutes.  3 hours later, and after the scheduled time for the end of the reception, the toasts finally ended, and the fun part of the reception was supposed to start, around 10 pm.  That was freaking agony.  Most people checked out.

If you're giving a toast at a wedding, keep it short and sweet.  And not everyone needs a freaking microphone.  Get in, get out, and get on with the program.  

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Moby Ric

Moby Ric 2058

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I wonder, do guys who are in those outlaw motorcycle clubs.  Not the wanna be guys like dentists and accountants that are in clubs, but the real gang type clubs.  Do those guys take the mandatory motorcycle safety course to get their motorcycle license?  Or are they too outlaw for that?

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17817

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1 hour ago, Moby Ric said:

I wonder, do guys who are in those outlaw motorcycle clubs.  Not the wanna be guys like dentists and accountants that are in clubs, but the real gang type clubs.  Do those guys take the mandatory motorcycle safety course to get their motorcycle license?  Or are they too outlaw for that?

Somewhat related.  During road rage incidents, if someone challenges you to a fight and you happily oblige and follow him to a location, does that guy usually signal so that you can keep up or is he so livid that you just have to follow him.

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Superhero

Superhero 9022

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1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

Somewhat related.  During road rage incidents, if someone challenges you to a fight and you happily oblige and follow him to a location, does that guy usually signal so that you can keep up or is he so livid that you just have to follow him.

Which one are you? Jack Handey? Mitch Hedberg? Because this is something they would come up with.

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Scheiss Meister

Scheiss Meister 8469

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10 hours ago, Helobious said:

Went to UTRGV graduation on Saturday for a relative. Pre-ceremony speeches were maybe  15 minutes total, and that was with them being given in both English & Spanish. Graduates & their families were asked to leave after the graduate walked the stage. Made for a nice non-logjam when leaving. Also they put a photo & quote from the graduate up on the big screen as they walked across. It made watching the School of Nursing graduation very enjoyable. Easily the most bearable graduation I’ve ever been to. 

My favorite part of high school graduations is at the beginning, when the principal/MC lays out the "please don't blow vuvuzelas, air horns, or whistles, ring cowbells, bang on gongs, scream the students' names, or otherwise disrupt the proceedings", then looks disappointed and disgusted when half of the idiots in the audience blow vuvuzelas, air horns and whistles, ring cowbells, bang on gongs and scream the students' names.  Bitch, you didn't lay out rules; you laid down challenges.  Morons are going to ruin graduations.  It's their reason for being.  Stop giving them ideas for how to maximize their disruptions.

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ScottS

ScottS 1125

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14 hours ago, Helobious said:

The moon looked slightly reddish last night. Wow so cool. 

 

14 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

I'm sure if we lived 1000 years ago, virgins would have been sacrificed, so I guess it's an improvement?

It was a blood moon, which happens when the moon is in a total lunar eclipse.

According to this article, Christopher Columbus used a blood moon to get over on some natives.

Quote

Columbus and his crew were stranded on an island now known as Jamaica. At first the Arawak people who lived there were welcoming, but over time, Columbus' crew grew restless and murdered or robbed some of the natives. Understandably, the native people weren't eager to help the crew search for food, and Columbus realized famine was drawing near. 

Columbus had an almanac with him foretelling when the next lunar eclipse would take place. Armed with this information, he told the Arawak that the Christian god was unhappy that Columbus and his crew received no food. God would turn the moon red as a symbol of his anger, Columbus said. As the event took place, frightened people "with great howling and lamentation came running from every direction to the ships laden with provisions, praying to the Admiral to intercede with his god on their behalf," according to an account by Columbus' son Ferdinand.

 

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jeevsie

jeevsie 3789

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I always find it funny when I see a neg rep on a very innocuous statement.  Then find out there's a blood feud between the two that bubbled out of the CR.

"I will find every one of your posts and neg bomb you to Bolivia!!!!!"

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nnm

nnm 37904

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What is with the guys that brace their hand agains the wall to use the urinal?  In the office building mens room today there was an older guy with both hands braced. What the hell is so difficult that you need full leverage and no aiming to accomplish?!?

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26439

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9 minutes ago, nnm said:

What is with the guys that brace their hand agains the wall to use the urinal?  In the office building mens room today there was an older guy with both hands braced. What the hell is so difficult that you need full leverage and no aiming to accomplish?!?

My MAGNUM DONG weighs me down.

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TKthunder2

TKthunder2 5059

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6 hours ago, nnm said:

What is with the guys that brace their hand agains the wall to use the urinal?  In the office building mens room today there was an older guy with both hands braced. What the hell is so difficult that you need full leverage and no aiming to accomplish?!?

Reaction Gif GIF by Brett Eldredge

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Crapinon

Crapinon 2373

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Wildfires are truly terrifying. I'm out here watching West Texas burn. Mandatory evacuations a couple of miles from my house and I could see the hills on fire from my driveway. It's a new experience going through your house to decide what you want to save if you have to leave in a heartbeat. 

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17817

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9 hours ago, Crapinon said:

Wildfires are truly terrifying. I'm out here watching West Texas burn. Mandatory evacuations a couple of miles from my house and I could see the hills on fire from my driveway. It's a new experience going through your house to decide what you want to save if you have to leave in a heartbeat. 

Happened my first year here in California.  Scary indeed

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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

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Random thought/opinion:

I prefer a slight taper on a man's short hair cut as opposed to the hair cut straight across the back of the neck. My spouse has always gotten a slight taper, my older son usually has a more pronounced taper--he also has the curliest hair in the family and could arguably not have a taper cut, but he is going for the Fantastic Beasts haircut apparently.

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Superhero

Superhero 9022

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11 hours ago, Crapinon said:

Wildfires are truly terrifying. I'm out here watching West Texas burn. Mandatory evacuations a couple of miles from my house and I could see the hills on fire from my driveway. It's a new experience going through your house to decide what you want to save if you have to leave in a heartbeat. 

Had the same question come up when a wildfire about 3 miles away. The answer is important documents, photos, my kids’ blanky and stuffed panda. And my Telecaster. The rest is replaceable. 

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17817

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9 hours ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Random thought/opinion:

I prefer a slight taper on a man's short hair cut as opposed to the hair cut straight across the back of the neck. My spouse has always gotten a slight taper, my older son usually has a more pronounced taper--he also has the curliest hair in the family and could arguably not have a taper cut, but he is going for the Fantastic Beasts haircut apparently.

Squared or rounded

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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

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Squared like this? Perhaps you have the shape for it so it works for you. The gent I saw getting a cut like the image below had zero taper to it, and it just didn't work for him given the shape of his head. Somehow, having a slight taper seems to accentuate the neck better. Even this image has some tapering on the sides to the bottom. I couldn't find an image exactly like how he was getting it cut.

Simple Men Haircut Back View | Mens hairstyles, Hair styles, Haircuts ...

My spouse gets the cut on the far left. The man in the chair where I was waiting was getting a cut similar to the one on the far right only with less 'shingling.'

How to ask for your haircut — Razors Barbershop & Shave Parlor

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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13050

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Different random thought.

Why is it I give a gentle tap on the horn when the person in the turn lane in front of me is seemingly woolgathering and not noticing the light changing to green but when I see it is someone holding up their phone and texting or talking I lean on the horn long and loud? Neither are paying attention, but I oddly react with a different grade of malevolence to the latter.

I approach driving as a 'you have one job to do' task, but it seems others don't share that thought. Frustrating.

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21285

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9 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Different random thought.

Why is it I give a gentle tap on the horn when the person in the turn lane in front of me is seemingly woolgathering and not noticing the light changing to green but when I see it is someone holding up their phone and texting or talking I lean on the horn long and loud? Neither are paying attention, but I oddly react with a different grade of malevolence to the latter.

I approach driving as a 'you have one job to do' task, but it seems others don't share that thought. Frustrating.

Because the former person deserves a gentle reminder while the latter deserves to be launched into the sun? 

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