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GSU&UT

By GSU&UT
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ajax
ajax

Last night I was having a dream where I was having sexy time with some random cute girl. And then out of nowhere the cute girl says, " let me try this" and then proceeds to stick her whole hand down h

Sbbruin
Sbbruin

Bullshit.  It's a dick move to knowingly jump in the express line with more items than allowed.  People get in that line to move quick.  It is their business if you fuck that up.

Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball

True story about Dolly Parton:  I think it was 1975, and she had just gone solo as an artist after being with Porter Wagoner. She had a concert scheduled for the Heart O' Texas Colosseum in Waco.

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17,817

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1 hour ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Different random thought.

Why is it I give a gentle tap on the horn when the person in the turn lane in front of me is seemingly woolgathering and not noticing the light changing to green but when I see it is someone holding up their phone and texting or talking I lean on the horn long and loud? Neither are paying attention, but I oddly react with a different grade of malevolence to the latter.

I approach driving as a 'you have one job to do' task, but it seems others don't share that thought. Frustrating.

Cuz one person is accidental and absent minded.  Other person is a self absorbed asshat

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17,817

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1 hour ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Squared like this? Perhaps you have the shape for it so it works for you. The gent I saw getting a cut like the image below had zero taper to it, and it just didn't work for him given the shape of his head. Somehow, having a slight taper seems to accentuate the neck better. Even this image has some tapering on the sides to the bottom. I couldn't find an image exactly like how he was getting it cut.

Simple Men Haircut Back View | Mens hairstyles, Hair styles, Haircuts ...

My spouse gets the cut on the far left. The man in the chair where I was waiting was getting a cut similar to the one on the far right only with less 'shingling.'

How to ask for your haircut — Razors Barbershop & Shave Parlor

My last haircut lady asked me squared or round, taper was not an option.    I said squared as usual and she said “actually it’s round back here”.  I felt betrayed

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Superhero

Superhero 9,022

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This is bullshit!

 

Quote

Nintendo Announces Female Characters Will No Longer Be Able to Drive Mario Karts Following Saudi Arabia Investment

ollowing today’s news that Saudi Arabia now controls 5% of its shares after making a nearly three billion dollar investment, Nintendo has announced that female characters are now banned from driving in Mario Kart 8.

“I know what the assumption here is, and I assure you it isn’t the case,” said Nintendo of America President Doug Bowser. “This decision has nothing to do with our new ties to Saudi Arabia. Besides, women have been able to drive there for a few years now, so I’m not really sure where people are getting their information from. No, we’ve long been planning on restricting women’s ability to share the roads with the game’s male and lizard drivers since well before we did this deal. That’s just a funny little coincidence!”

Gamers reacted to the news with disappointment and confusion. 

“So wait, Princess Peach is still in the game,” asked Melanie Miller, a confused Mario Kart fan. “She’s just unable to drive, make eye contact with the men, expose her wrists or ankles, and she’s been stripped of her sovereignty? What’s the fucking point, even?”

Other Nintendo representatives defended the controversial association with the country known for its extensive history of human rights abuses.

“I know it sounds unpleasant, but this is just the cost of doing business,” said Mel Gipley, an executive at Nintendo. “If this is news to you, please know that Saudi Arabia’s also recently invested in Capcom, EA, Activision, and plenty of others, so it’s getting harder and harder to play games without blood money tied to them. But again, this will not influence our content whatsoever. The day you assassinate and dismember a journalist and face no consequences for it in one of our games, then you’ll have a point! But until that day, I’m afraid they’re merely business partners of ours.” 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like I said. It's BS. It's from a satire website, and not real.

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jeevsie

jeevsie 3,789

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2 hours ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Different random thought.

Why is it I give a gentle tap on the horn when the person in the turn lane in front of me is seemingly woolgathering and not noticing the light changing to green but when I see it is someone holding up their phone and texting or talking I lean on the horn long and loud? Neither are paying attention, but I oddly react with a different grade of malevolence to the latter.

I approach driving as a 'you have one job to do' task, but it seems others don't share that thought. Frustrating.

I've always been a proponent of two horns.  One for "excuse me, might you move it along?" and the other for "Hey, mofo, get your head outta yer ass!!!"

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21,285

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, jeevsie said:

I've always been a proponent of two horns.  One for "excuse me, might you move it along?" and the other for "Hey, mofo, get your head outta yer ass!!!"

I installed a separate high-powered horn in one of my cars for just this very purpose back when I lived in Miami, because both types of horn "messages" are very necessary there. 

Ended up blowing it out in a fit of rage though, and never fixed or replaced it. As you might imagine, the sorts of drivers who need it are generally not the kind who give a fuck anyway, so it wasn't especially useful. 

But it was often cathartic. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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ztejas

ztejas 44,228

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Seeing guys throw their A game against bartenders that probably don't want to fuck them is one of the greatest forms of entertainment known to man. 

I mean this dude is digging in his bag for the 88 mph slider at the bottom of the zone and it's barely moving her. 

Edited by ztejas
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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,886

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On 5/18/2022 at 3:20 PM, nnm said:

What is with the guys that brace their hand agains the wall to use the urinal?  In the office building mens room today there was an older guy with both hands braced. What the hell is so difficult that you need full leverage and no aiming to accomplish?!?

I do it so I can stand with my feet and lower legs further away to avoid splashing/spattering.

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Helobious

Helobious 9,818

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13 hours ago, ztejas said:

Seeing guys throw their A game against bartenders that probably don't want to fuck them is one of the greatest forms of entertainment known to man. 

I mean this dude is digging in his bag for the 88 mph slider at the bottom of the zone and it's barely moving her. 

I have a never hit on a waitress or bartender rule. I just always assume any interest I get back is a ploy for a bigger tip. Which I don’t fault them for at all, it’s smart on their part. But yeah I’m saving my game for a more surefire prospect.

And it always works and I only bang tens of course.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28,929

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On 5/20/2022 at 11:42 AM, jeevsie said:

I've always been a proponent of two horns.  One for "excuse me, might you move it along?" and the other for "Hey, mofo, get your head outta yer ass!!!"

I just either lay on the horn or give little short beeps. Or some mix of the two. You’re turning right on red, there’s no traffic coming from your left, and you’re just sitting there? I’ll start with a couple short beeps. Still not going when you should be? I’ll give a couple more. The longer you sit there when you have the opportunity but aren’t taking it, the more sustained honking I’ll be directing your way. “Move, motherfucker!”

JFC. Just recently I had some idiot in front of me in the right turn only lane who was reluctant to make the turn. There was no traffic coming from our left. I gave some honks and they pulled forward a little bit and then stopped. I slowly ratcheted up the intensity before they finally made their legal right turn on red that didn’t threaten anyone. It’s not hard, people.

I don’t know if anyone has designed a special horn to get someone to move when they’re sitting there at a green arrow and refusing to move. 

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28,929

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On 5/18/2022 at 4:20 PM, nnm said:

What is with the guys that brace their hand agains the wall to use the urinal?  In the office building mens room today there was an older guy with both hands braced. What the hell is so difficult that you need full leverage and no aiming to accomplish?!?

Just how much time do you spend watching other men pee?

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Prepuce of Doom

Prepuce of Doom 21,285

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10 hours ago, Longboard Horn said:

C5C18220-E7C0-4E8B-B245-95C7C3907494.jpeg

Every time that "garage door opener to control sleep apnea with some kind of surgical implant" commercial comes on TV, I inevitably wonder what the range and battery life of the transmitter/receiver is, and if it's possible to walk around a cemetery and just secretly open and close dead throats all over the place. 

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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13,050

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Saw an anole in the garden this weekend. He bobbed his head with a 'wassup' motion while perched on the trellis. As a lizard person, I felt the camaraderie and assured him that world domination was proceeding according to plan. First we need to take out the hornworms and squash borers though. The battle wages on.

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nnm

nnm 37,904

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11 minutes ago, Mrs Whiggins said:

Saw an anole in the garden this weekend. He bobbed his head with a 'wassup' motion while perched on the trellis. As a lizard person, I felt the camaraderie and assured him that world domination was proceeding according to plan. First we need to take out the hornworms and squash borers though. The battle wages on.

TIL what an anole lizard is. 
Anole_Lizard_Hilo_Hawaii_edit.jpg

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28,929

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On 5/23/2022 at 3:06 PM, nnm said:

TIL what an anole lizard is. 
Anole_Lizard_Hilo_Hawaii_edit.jpg

When I was a kid they used to sell them in pet stores and called them chameleons. They can change the color of their skin. On my first trip to New Orleans I stayed in the third floor room of some boarding house and they were darting around the tree outside my balcony. Standing there having a cup of coffee I could hear someone practicing their trumpet off in the distance.

I wish I knew where that place was and what happened to it after Katrina. It wasn’t in a nice part of town. But it was a nice place. I was just warned not to wander around the neighborhood. Just go to your cab and back again. 

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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13,050

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9 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

When I was a kid they used to sell them in pet stores and called them chameleons. They can change the color of their skin.

They are often called chameleons, but true chameleons are a different species. The anoles in our garden are most often found with the green color but when they're upset, they are brown. Years ago, I did see one take on a blue tinge on the equipment at the playground while the children were running around. In Texas, the green anole are becoming endangered by an invasive species, the brown anole, from Florida (of course).

(when my children were small and when they asked questions, we would go look up stuff. I love science and nature and curious children).

We also have geckos and skinks in our yard. Skink is a fun word to say.

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nnm

nnm 37,904

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1 hour ago, WhatTheBuck said:

When I was a kid they used to sell them in pet stores and called them chameleons. They can change the color of their skin. On my first trip to New Orleans I stayed in the third floor room of some boarding house and they were darting around the tree outside my balcony. Standing there having a cup of coffee I could hear someone practicing their trumpet off in the distance.

I wish I knew where that place was and what happened to it after Katrina. It wasn’t in a nice part of town. But it was a nice place. I was just warned not to wander around the neighborhood. Just go to your cab and back again. 

Confederacy_of_dunces_cover.jpg?20171214

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nnm

nnm 37,904

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41 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

It’s funny because you just learned what an anole lizard is. I learned it at least 40 years ago and they’re not native to where I live. 

Not a slap at you. More a compliment to you that your description of NOLA evoked one of the classics of American literature set in NOLA. I wasn’t calling you a dunce. 

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Mrs Whiggins

Mrs Whiggins 13,050

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Yeah, I got your reference to NOLA, but I can see where someone can come up with something different because of the book's title. My husband loves that book. The story behind it is quite fascinating as well.

Random but slightly related thought--New Orleans is the backdrop for some amazing stories. What city in Ohio would also provide a *backdrop? Large? Small?

 

 

 

*doesn't have to be a similar description as provided earlier. Just something with interesting local color. In other words, teach me something I don't know.

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ztejas

ztejas 44,228

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On 5/21/2022 at 10:24 PM, closetohumping said:

People that do jacks with coke backs aka as cowboy up think they’re tough but i got news for them……..they’re not 

Anyone shooting jack is fucking retarded.

On 5/22/2022 at 8:14 AM, Underdog said:

If I had bumped into this guy on the streets, never would’ve imagined him as a sports anchor... 

image.jpeg.77ba38a2a1468faa55b530282ab1c1c4.jpeg

And for some added rudeness... 

image.thumb.jpeg.0c1d25f6baf99dca84695a02cc87adf3.jpeg

 

I found out the other day she had breast reduction surgery when she was younger. I felt robbed. 

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 106,890

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Posted
In Thin Lizzy's song, "The Boys are Back".
-Where had the boys been?
-Why was he so stoked to have them back, the seam like they kinda suck.

I totally used to hum that song when I was in college, and would go home over Xmas break and get together with my miscreant buddies from high school to engage in unsavory shenanigans.
In fairness, I was a 19-20 yr old dipshit.
I haven’t gotten a lot brighter.
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