Surly Rurals Are Surly Thread

[Willfully Horn 8026]

11 hours ago, slorch said:

 Some of the 'rural' in this thread just means 'not surrounded by concrete.' It's not what some of us consider living in the country.

This post reminded me of something I remember reading. My memory usually serves me well, but I couldn’t find mention of it on the googles.

”Forty Head of Cattle” by John Graves

Maybe it was an essay. Point was forty beeves make someone a rancher, everyone else is just fucking around without finding out.

Or, my memory is flawed.

Edited February 9, 2021 by Willfully Horn
I’m rusty

[BabaYaga 15301]

8 minutes ago, Willfully Horn said:

This post reminded me of something I remember reading. My memory usually serves me well, but I couldn’t find mention of it on the googles.

”Forty Head of Cattle” by John Graves

Maybe it was an essay. Point was forty beeves make someone a rancher, everyone else is just fucking around without finding out.

Or, my memory is flawed.

What's the old expression about ranching - how do you make a million?  Start with five....

[Judge Roybeanbag 11819]

15 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

What's the old expression about ranching - how do you make a million?  Start with five....

An old rancher I used to work for said something once that I, as a UT fan/alum have always remembered.  “I keep those old longhorns because I like to remember what it’s like to lose (money)”.  

[BabaYaga 15301]

3 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

An old rancher I used to work for said something once that I, as a UT fan/alum have always remembered.  “I keep those old longhorns because I like to remember what it’s like to lose (money)”.  

Took a tour of the Ft Worth stockyards with some friends who moved to TX from out of state.  One wild stat was post railroad, the Longhorn as a breed dropped to one of the most endangered species on earth.  Dropped down to I think two dozen?  Maybe slightly more.  Either way, all the new ones can trace their lineage back to those few dozen that survived, exclusively from ranchers that kept them on private land.....as stated, probably for nostalgia reasons.  

[Dilligas 666]

16 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Rural is nice, but I prefer desolate. I own rural, but grew up on desolate. Like lie awake in bed for 3 hours, and the only thing you can hear is your own heart beating desolate, no car lights in sight. Aspermont, Benjamin, Spur, Crowell, that's the area where I want to be.

CHIEF

Sounds like the 50 acres I have 35 miles sw of Sonora. Getting it set up now to retire to in a couple years.

[Armybrat 40850]

23 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Took a tour of the Ft Worth stockyards with some friends who moved to TX from out of state.  One wild stat was post railroad, the Longhorn as a breed dropped to one of the most endangered species on earth.  Dropped down to I think two dozen?  Maybe slightly more.  Either way, all the new ones can trace their lineage back to those few dozen that survived, exclusively from ranchers that kept them on private land.....as stated, probably for nostalgia reasons.  

And those few Longhorns that were saved to revive the breed were on Oklahoma ranches.

[Dilligas 666]

2 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

And those few Longhorns that were saved to revive the breed were on Oklahoma ranches.

Yep, think I read that in Dobies book about Longhorns 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11819]

24 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Took a tour of the Ft Worth stockyards with some friends who moved to TX from out of state.  One wild stat was post railroad, the Longhorn as a breed dropped to one of the most endangered species on earth.  Dropped down to I think two dozen?  Maybe slightly more.  Either way, all the new ones can trace their lineage back to those few dozen that survived, exclusively from ranchers that kept them on private land.....as stated, probably for nostalgia reasons.  

Other memorable quotes from the old Judge:

After crossing a barbed wire fence badly, “these pants always could’ve used some air conditioning, my balls not so much”.

After his horse rolled with him on it when she stepped in a bog, “that old bag has been lookin to be shed of me for awhile, reckon my wife will be jealous “.   

After his dog died “Buckshot never gave anybody any grief.  Poor bastard ate the mayonnaise sandwiches my wife expected me to eat.  He’ll get buried well.”  

[4HE 156]

2 hours ago, CHIEF said:

I graduated with a class of 10. I was Salutatorian, and wasn't even top 10% of my class. The Valedictorian never took a harder math class than Algebra I. So today, he would be an auto-admission to UT. Unfortunate for me I would not.

CHIEF

Class of 16 here and I was salutatorian as well. My parents were both public educators so we lived on school provided housing on campus. 6 man football for the MF’n win. My Dad was principal at the school so we had our run of the place. Basketball gym, football field, tennis courts, wood shop, and everything else. 
 

My Dad beat my ass good one time when our summer football game ran past dark and we turned the stadium lights on so we could finish. 

Edited February 9, 2021 by 4HE
Spelling

[CHIEF 5092]

If Mrs. CHIEF would do it, I could sell my house, and we could stay in the apartment I built in my shop, while in Granbury. I could pay cash for this 640 acres south of Paducah: https://www.landsoftexas.com/property/640-acres-in-King-County-Texas/4676691/, and build something small, cheap, and modest. You would be neighbors to the 6666 Ranch. The whole population of King County is 286 people. 3rd least populous county in the US. Less than $1000/acre. This thread has got me dreaming again, it's dangerous.

CHIEF

[CHIEF 5092]

2 minutes ago, 4HE said:

Class of 16 here and I was salutatorian as well. My parents were both public educators so we lived on school provided housing on campus. 6 man football for the MF’n win. My Dad was principal at the school so we had our run of the place. Basketball gym, football field, tennis courts, wood shop, and everything else. 
 

My Dad beat my ass good one time when our summer football game ran past dark and we turned the stadium lights on so we could finish. 

Jayton? The only place I've ever been with all those amenities on school grounds.

Chief

[BabaYaga 15301]

2 minutes ago, CHIEF said:

If Mrs. CHIEF would do it, I could sell my house, and we could stay in the apartment I built in my shop, while in Granbury. I could pay cash for this 640 acres south of Paducah: https://www.landsoftexas.com/property/640-acres-in-King-County-Texas/4676691/, and build something small, cheap, and modest. You would be neighbors to the 6666 Ranch. The whole population of King County is 286 people. 3rd least populous county in the US. Less than $1000/acre. This thread has got me dreaming again, it's dangerous.

CHIEF

Not too bad.  Decent price for a whole section of land.  Well water?  

[CHIEF 5092]

1 minute ago, BabaYaga said:

Not too bad.  Decent price for a whole section of land.  Well water?  

Actually has Coop water and electrical service to the property. So definitely a good buy. Land is the one thing they aren't going to make anymore of. I'm old enough to remember when you could have bought it for $150/acre.

CHIEF

[orange dream 1254]

4 minutes ago, CHIEF said:

Basketball gym, football field, tennis courts, wood shop, and everything else.

 

Jayton? The only place I've ever been with all those amenities on school grounds.

Chief

Blanket rolls up with all these features also.  My wife graduated in a class of 14 kids from there about 30 years ago.  The Valedictorian (not my wife) went into labor 15 minutes after the graduation ceremony ( I swear it's true )

[Herbie Hancock 7363]

Mom is 1 of 3 still alive from her graduating class of 9 at O’Brien. She was also valedictorian. Home of the first ever six man state champs and the immortal CH Underwood.

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

 

8 hours ago, BradInATX said:

This guy has his priorities figured out. 

God do I love that. It annoys me when its daytime and the neighbors are in the front yard because that's the only time I can't piss off the porch. That almost never happens because I know one set of neighbors is only here on the weekends and the other seems to be the same, but I think they are preparing to retire there. They've got an outhouse...Maybe I can work something out with them so I can shit in there if my daughter is hogging the bathroom here. I haven't shit in an outhouse since the '70s. I do have a replica Sears Roebuck catalog I can take in there with me so I can look at guns, opium cures for alcoholism and alcohol cures for opium addiction, and hot etchings of chicks in Victorian bras. 

 

6 hours ago, WBT said:

Who cooks for you?

Cool recording, I see and hear them occasionally in my backyard but nothing like that.

They stick to that "who cooks for you script" in the daytime but they go fucking hog wild at night. I'd grown up semi-close to some in my childhood but I'd never heard them like this before. 

 

2 hours ago, BabaYaga said:

Yep.  There's rural, and there's 'country'.  Big god damn difference.  My pops?  Graduating class of 15 kids in HS.  G-parents stayed out near Coleman until they passed. 

Rural is raising animals because your small school has a 4-H program.  Country is later eating them.  Country is being a dumb ass kid, running into a barbed wire fence, and having your g-father just sew it shut because "the hospital was too far and it' not too bad"  Still have the scar on my palm.  

Rural is having land.  Country is your livelihood comes from it.  We're in the 'burbs of N. Texas.  Work and competitive sports dictate it.  We have the ranch in W. Texas and breaking ground on our second cabin in Broken Bow that we can get away to if needed.  Retirement can bring us to a house on a few dozen acres, but until then we augured in until the kids leave for college.  

I like that distinction. This area feeds into 3-A and 4-A schools so it's definitely on the country side. I guess it's hard to find true rural anywhere east of I-35. 

[BabaYaga 15301]

3 hours ago, CHIEF said:

I graduated with a class of 10. I was Salutatorian, and wasn't even top 10% of my class.

LOL, the math of that sucks.  

Admission admin:  "so, were you Valedictorian?"

CHIEF - no

Admission admin:  "were you in the top ten %"

CHIEF - ah, no...only ten kids like I told you?  Uh, anyone else I can maybe talk to?

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

 

Pissing outside at night while looking up at the stars is sublime.

[BradInATX 9208]

 
Pissing outside at night while looking up at the stars is sublime.

I have a serious outdoor pissing conundrum. Our back patio is concrete about 5 feet above the yard in places. I put in a metal fence enclosing the whole thing with childproof gates so my kids don't yeet off the side and hurt themselves. The fence is right at junk-level. So I either have to squat and pee below the top rail or lay it out on top of the rail which is kinda gross and when it's cold.. you know.

Gonna need to come up with some sort of redneck engineering.

[bmbmd 1027]

3 hours ago, CHIEF said:

I graduated with a class of 10. I was Salutatorian, and wasn't even top 10% of my class. The Valedictorian never took a harder math class than Algebra I. So today, he would be an auto-admission to UT. Unfortunate for me I would not.

CHIEF

My mother-in-law was the Valedictorian of Avoca High School.  The other guy was Salutatorian. 

[WBT 20606]

34 minutes ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Pissing outside at night while looking up at the stars is sublime.

I do that and I live in town.

[4HE 156]

1 hour ago, CHIEF said:

Jayton? The only place I've ever been with all those amenities on school grounds.

Chief

Close. Grady ISD in Lenorah/Tarzan

[RDCanecutter 26448]

8 minutes ago, WBT said:

I do that and I live in town.

I was about to say. Got a fine view of Orion these nights. 

[Hpara759 1780]

19 minutes ago, bmbmd said:

My mother-in-law was the Valedictorian of Avoca High School.  The other guy was Salutatorian. 

Is that Avoca or Lueders?......

Go Raiders!

[CHIEF 5092]

5 minutes ago, WBT said:

I do that and I live in town.

I had done it all my life before moving into a college dorm, only used a toilet to shit. I did it a few times out of my second story apartment that faced a treed area off of Jollyville Road, until our downstairs neighbor was nice enough to tell me it smelled like piss outside of her porch/balcony. She said she knew I did it, but didn't want to say anything, but finally let me know, cool chick. When we bought our first house, I got to resume it every night when it got dark. I felt like Red on Shawshank, but instead of permission, it was not having to look down and aim, just look up at the stars and see how far you could shoot a stream. A man needs that, probably reduces the chance of bladder, or prostate cancer, at least, that's gonna be my excuse. I have been known to piss in a wheel well at our tailgate after dark at 17th and Trinity. If the hobos can get away with it, I should be able to as well.

CHIEF

[Hpara759 1780]

1 hour ago, CHIEF said:

Jayton? The only place I've ever been with all those amenities on school grounds.

Chief

Springlake-Earth ISD is like that

Edited February 10, 2021 by Hpara759
Sp

[BradInATX 9208]

I do that and I live in town.

But not within 500 yards of a school am I right?!

[CHIEF 5092]

Back in the 80's my history teacher was from Jayton. We were all family friends since he was one of our closest neighbors, and we went out to see his mother that still lived there. Jayton had dropped down from 11-man and was ripping all of us other 6-man teams a new asshole. Never had seen anything like it. It wasn't very common back then, at least not in our neck of the woods.

Cool shit we did back then at a small school that you couldn't do at a big school, and the teacher would get arrested for today, at any school: 

Our coach was our chemistry teacher, our only high school coach. He had taken chemistry in college, so, therefore it was decided he would be our chemistry teacher. We were all learning at the same time, he basically taught "science" at our school. We had a small stock tank behind our bus shed (all three buses, and two of them were short) that caught a few feet of water after a rain. Apparently, chemistry had been taught at our school before, because we climbed down in the basement, and found container after container of pure elements. So we devised this grand plan to punch holes in the lids and throw them into this stock tank and see how they react. Sulfur, cobalt, graphite, etc., and we had a big container of sodium. We didn't notice him slip in behind the bus barn when we threw in the sodium. We threw it in and watched it bubble. It was probably about two pounds, and when it went off it covered the five of us students with the most stinky vile mud you could imagine. So bad, we all had to go home and change clothes. He laughed his ass off, and had brought a bag of trash bags for us to cover our seats. We did shit like that on Mon-Wed-Fri. We limited out on dove in the field next to the school on Tue-Thu., everyone kept their shotgun in the truck.

Speaking of the short bus. The school bought a new short bus, mainly for long distance FFA field trips my sophomore year. It was a Dodge, with a 440. We were too small to have an automotive shop, but we had a lot of motor heads. Our Ag teacher, out of his own pocket, bought an aluminum intake, and an 850 cfm carb to put on that bitch. Apparently, the governor was the throttle stop on the original carb. That thing was pretty respectable, we got pulled over for over 80 in Waller County going to the Houston Livestock Show. I thought they were gonna take our Ag teacher to jail, back then the speed limit was still 55.

Finally, as you can imagine, small schools have shit for electives. Well, the above history teacher was a pilot, his FIL had retired from AmAirlines, they had an airstrip on their place. Aviation was an elective, it's how I got my pilot's license, the first ever at my school. There were 3 of us in the class that year, he had an aerobatics license, and a four-seater was perfect for "field trips". We would do hammerheads (tail slides back then), stick everyone's cap to the roof of the plane, float matchboxes, just fun shit for an hour.

Growing up rural was fun as fuck. We were too small to have city cops and the sheriff's department never got called. I miss that.

CHIEF

 

[tejas60 3533]

I'll be in Sargent less than 2 more years. Don't know if you can really call it rural (I have a couple neighbors close by), but I can walk out on my deck and piss down on the yard if the wind ain't blowin' too hard from the south. know what you have when there's a bar full of women in Sargent? about a full set of teeth.

I'll be moving out to far west hill country after I retire Jan. 2023. and hang out on our land in the Big Bend during the winter...

fuck cities.

[Herbie Hancock 7363]

I can angle my .308 at 45 degrees off the backporch and pull the trigger and not have to worry about where it lands. I piss in my back and front yards any time of day. LOL at those living on a 2 acre lot thinking they’re in the country

[4HE 156]

2 hours ago, Hpara759 said:

Is that Avoca or Lueders?......

Go Raiders!

Played them in a basketball tournament in Blackwell during my junior year I think. 

[4HE 156]

1 hour ago, CHIEF said:

Back in the 80's my history teacher was from Jayton. We were all family friends since he was one of our closest neighbors, and we went out to see his mother that still lived there. Jayton had dropped down from 11-man and was ripping all of us other 6-man teams a new asshole. Never had seen anything like it. It wasn't very common back then, at least not in our neck of the woods.

Cool shit we did back then at a small school that you couldn't do at a big school, and the teacher would get arrested for today, at any school: 

Our coach was our chemistry teacher, our only high school coach. He had taken chemistry in college, so, therefore it was decided he would be our chemistry teacher. We were all learning at the same time, he basically taught "science" at our school. We had a small stock tank behind our bus shed (all three buses, and two of them were short) that caught a few feet of water after a rain. Apparently, chemistry had been taught at our school before, because we climbed down in the basement, and found container after container of pure elements. So we devised this grand plan to punch holes in the lids and throw them into this stock tank and see how they react. Sulfur, cobalt, graphite, etc., and we had a big container of sodium. We didn't notice him slip in behind the bus barn when we threw in the sodium. We threw it in and watched it bubble. It was probably about two pounds, and when it went off it covered the five of us students with the most stinky vile mud you could imagine. So bad, we all had to go home and change clothes. He laughed his ass off, and had brought a bag of trash bags for us to cover our seats. We did shit like that on Mon-Wed-Fri. We limited out on dove in the field next to the school on Tue-Thu., everyone kept their shotgun in the truck.

Speaking of the short bus. The school bought a new short bus, mainly for long distance FFA field trips my sophomore year. It was a Dodge, with a 440. We were too small to have an automotive shop, but we had a lot of motor heads. Our Ag teacher, out of his own pocket, bought an aluminum intake, and an 850 cfm carb to put on that bitch. Apparently, the governor was the throttle stop on the original carb. That thing was pretty respectable, we got pulled over for over 80 in Waller County going to the Houston Livestock Show. I thought they were gonna take our Ag teacher to jail, back then the speed limit was still 55.

Finally, as you can imagine, small schools have shit for electives. Well, the above history teacher was a pilot, his FIL had retired from AmAirlines, they had an airstrip on their place. Aviation was an elective, it's how I got my pilot's license, the first ever at my school. There were 3 of us in the class that year, he had an aerobatics license, and a four-seater was perfect for "field trips". We would do hammerheads (tail slides back then), stick everyone's cap to the roof of the plane, float matchboxes, just fun shit for an hour.

Growing up rural was fun as fuck. We were too small to have city cops and the sheriff's department never got called. I miss that.

CHIEF

 

I remember when the Jaybirds dropped down to 6-man. They wreaked some f’n havoc in football at the time. 

[immortal13 4059]

9 hours ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Well, the specific thing I was thinking of was this one old guy had a bunch of junked vehicles on his place, that he swore someday he was going to do something with.  He never did, but the fact that my brother and I shot at them with .22s  playing Bonnie and Clyde didn't help.  Meaning I didn't have respect for other people's property at that age.  Also I hit golf balls across the river at a fellows herd of cows a time or two, because I liked to see them run.

We've all done at least one thing we should have got our ass kicked for but didn't 

[CleverNickname 1316]

My plan is to retire early (52) in a decade. Every week I'll drive up to the ranchette (51 ac near Goldthwaite) Sunday afternoon for 3 nights, and return to a condo or townhome (something with basically zero maintenance) in Austin. So 3 nights rural, 4 nights city. Figure this way I can have poker games with my buddies in town, see art movies, eat Ethiopian or thai food, see docs, and yet still enjoy spraying mesquite with diesel and trooping around cutting cedar with a gear bypass. Not sure if the wife will join me - she's a teacher and a workaholic and will probably never stop. But that's okay, the 600 sq ft barndominium aint much for luxury living anyway. 

With covid limited kids rec sports on weekends, this past year has been awesome. I've probably driven up 45 out of 50 weeks. The low this weekend is like 12, but I still might go. What the hell else am I going to do?

[CleverNickname 1316]

since yall brought up John Graves and pissing off the porch...

https://www.texasmonthly.com/articles/writing-life/

Quote

Pissing off the porch seemed like the perfect metaphor for his chosen profession until one night last January, when John Graves was heading outside to relieve himself and fell down the stairs. His longtime friend Bill Wittliff had warned him this might happen. No bones were broken, but there resulted some impressive damage to his internals and his sense of dignity. After three trips to the hospital and a surgery to repair his prostate, he was still hobbling about on his cane four months later when I visited him at his home outside Glen Rose, southwest of Fort Worth, on the spread he calls Hard Scrabble.

Further, there is a part of Goodbye to a River where he describes an old man who every morning got up and pissed in the same spot, the salt killing the grass and leaving a bare spot. I think of that often. 

Edited February 10, 2021 by CleverNickname
i'm getting old

[immortal13 4059]

[BradInATX 9208]

1,x,x

[CHIEF 5092]

1 hour ago, CleverNickname said:

since yall brought up John Graves and pissing off the porch...

https://www.texasmonthly.com/articles/writing-life/

Further, there is a part of Goodbye to a River where he describes an old man who every morning got up and pissed in the same spot, the salt killing the grass and leaving a bare spot. I think of that often. 

Here is my spot, it's gotten smaller since I agreed to piss on the side of the house and in the rose bushes, the little spot on the upper right is from the "shake":

CHIEF

[Larry T. Spider 1746]

13 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Jayton? The only place I've ever been with all those amenities on school grounds.

Chief

My family was a good % of that town’s population back in the day. Only a few still alive. Used to hang around there some in the summer when I was a kid.

[3adays 454]

14 hours ago, CHIEF said:

Jayton? The only place I've ever been with all those amenities on school grounds.

Chief

In the 80’s, I played little dribblers basketball at the Jayton Gym. They had some NICE facilities 

[Larry T. Spider 1746]

1 hour ago, 3adays said:

In the 80’s, I played little dribblers basketball at the Jayton Gym. They had some NICE facilities 

The only thing in town with money was the school district. Had a charter bus instead of the old yellow dog before that was a thing anywhere else. A lot of my family went to school there in the 40s before it was like that. Not sure I have any living relatives still there. My grandmother might be the last of the group that grew up there and she’s 87.

Edited February 10, 2021 by Larry T. Spider

[BabaYaga 15301]

New pool, bar, and landscaping last year.  Went all out.  Already killed a bush from pissing in the same spot for the better part of the year near the back door and along the fence.  And we're in a massive subdivision.  Zero fucks given.  Mind your own god damn business.  When the dogs go outside, so do I.  At least it's usually dark when I do.  Usually.....

[BabaYaga 15301]

11 hours ago, CleverNickname said:

My plan is to retire early (52) in a decade. Every week I'll drive up to the ranchette (51 ac near Goldthwaite) Sunday afternoon for 3 nights, and return to a condo or townhome (something with basically zero maintenance) in Austin. So 3 nights rural, 4 nights city. Figure this way I can have poker games with my buddies in town, see art movies, eat Ethiopian or thai food, see docs, and yet still enjoy spraying mesquite with diesel and trooping around cutting cedar with a gear bypass. Not sure if the wife will join me - she's a teacher and a workaholic and will probably never stop. But that's okay, the 600 sq ft barndominium aint much for luxury living anyway. 

With covid limited kids rec sports on weekends, this past year has been awesome. I've probably driven up 45 out of 50 weeks. The low this weekend is like 12, but I still might go. What the hell else am I going to do?

Love Goldthwaite.  Used to stop from drives from Austin to the ranch (near Coleman) as a kid.  My favorite place was the DQ in town.  First, I loved the "Dude" sandwich with a shake as a kid.  Second, they had a sit-down Galaga and Pac-Man flat top game consol.  And third, for .75 cents, you could get freaky condoms or little paper nudey books in the bathroom from the dispenser on the wall.  

Yeah, have a couple of backpack spraying rigs we keep in the old sea crate.  Becomes a PITA as it's a losing battle.

[Asithappens 974]

On 2/8/2021 at 9:15 PM, MaybeACoordinator said:

Because I am a new rural, and inspired by a post on the Gohmert thread by @High Plains Drifter I am only now just beginning to understand in full after four months deep in the sticks of southwestern Brazoria County, I am starting a thread for the Surly Rurals. 

I really liked this part of his post:

There's a trade-off. Not much variety in the way of dining options. A bunch of pig-headed people. But I can fish from my front yard and blaze one under the Milky Way, so I forgive a lot of earthly bullshit. 

Politics allowed, by necessity. I don't want to to CR it all the way, but you can't live in the Texas sticks w/o talking about Trumpism. 

 

 

I don't care if you are a "rural", if you leave your keys in the ignition you're a fucking idiot. 

[Armybrat 40850]

On 2/9/2021 at 8:22 PM, Herbie Hancock said:

I can angle my .308 at 45 degrees off the backporch and pull the trigger and not have to worry about where it lands. I piss in my back and front yards any time of day. LOL at those living on a 2 acre lot thinking they’re in the country

Front porch pastime can be fun..

 

[Felix 607]

My wife's family has 600 acres outside Springfield MO and run a few hundred head of cattle.  Her cousin's husband got in the doghouse for shooting a nice 8 point buck out the front door of their house at 6 am while the rest of the family was sleeping.  He said it was too cold to go all the way outside in his underwear.  Beds were peed and voices were raised.  The rule now is you have to be OUTSIDE the house when you fire.

[CHIEF 5092]

1 hour ago, Felix said:

My wife's family has 600 acres outside Springfield MO and run a few hundred head of cattle.  Her cousin's husband got in the doghouse for shooting a nice 8 point buck out the front door of their house at 6 am while the rest of the family was sleeping.  He said it was too cold to go all the way outside in his underwear.  Beds were peed and voices were raised.  The rule now is you have to be OUTSIDE the house when you fire.

I remember the last real asswhipping I got was in the 8th grade. My Dad was sitting in his home office, and our rifles were in a rack in the closet. He had always showed me how to release the pressure off of the firing pin on a Mauser action (bolt action). My firing pin was still sticking out, but I knew I had unloaded it before putting it in that closet. But being lazy, I just decided to dry fire it. Well, my grandfather had used it, and I hadn't been told, so I shot a hole in the ceiling. My Dad grabbed his ears and kinda slump forward, my Mom screamed bloody murder, cause she thought I had killed him. He just turned gave me a look and told me to lay on the guest bed in the next room. I knew what was up, and then comes that horrifying sound of his belt sliding out through the belt loops. It was brutal, but well deserved. I learned a lesson, always make sure your Dad isn't wearing a belt during gunplay.

CHIEF

[BabaYaga 15301]

1 hour ago, Felix said:

My wife's family has 600 acres outside Springfield MO and run a few hundred head of cattle.  Her cousin's husband got in the doghouse for shooting a nice 8 point buck out the front door of their house at 6 am while the rest of the family was sleeping.  He said it was too cold to go all the way outside in his underwear.  Beds were peed and voices were raised.  The rule now is you have to be OUTSIDE the house when you fire.

I've done that.  Older and with college friends and we were all hungover as hell.  Dumb little spike walked to the small lake in front of the cabin.  Bunch of beds on the front enclosed porch.  Slid open the glass door.....BAM!

Assholes and elbows after that.  Guys flying out of bed, falling to the floor.  One guy got caught in his sleeping bag, ripped the zipper and we couldn't get him out without cutting the bag (it was a cheap brand).  

Fun times....

[CHIEF 5092]

This morning was the kind of day that makes me appreciate my rural life. My buddy Arthur called and was working on getting a driveway ready to pour, the dirt and gravel had been driven over for probable about 30 years, and was just as hard as cement, so he needed to borrow my skidsteer . I've been trying to help him get back on his feet after him being in the hospital with COVID. It's funny sometimes we think doing God's work is just throwing dollar bills at people, sometimes he requires you to get your ass out of your comfy bed, and help them with manual labor in 21 degree cold, with 20 mph winds. Anyway, of course, I go pick it up, fill it with diesel, and deliver it to him:

One of our favorite little food spots is this little old gas station, El Solar, the make really good quesadillas, breakfast burritos, and the best menudo I have ever eaten, really cleaned well. So, I take the back road over to drop the skidsteer off, which passes right by El Solar. I made my order, they make everything from scratch, so it was going to be about 20 minutes. Perfect amount of time to go drop off the skidsteer and come back. The whole time this morning, I never had anybody else on the road, got to drive like an old farmer, 30-40 mph with no one ever in the rearview mirror. Get back to El Solar a little early, the owner asked me where was CHIEF Jr., by his real name. Of course, I tell him the truth, his ass is still in bed. Watched a little soccer, it was in Spanish, only thing I could tell is it was in a stadium in Mazatlan. But it's just a really cool little back road place.

My favorite sign in the whole place:

Got the menudo to go, with chili covered lollipops for desert:

Enough to make three bowls:

Now it's time for a siesta, before going down to the 19th Hole.

CHIEF

Edited February 13, 2021 by CHIEF

[Judge Roybeanbag 11819]

On 2/10/2021 at 9:53 AM, BabaYaga said:

Love Goldthwaite.  Used to stop from drives from Austin to the ranch (near Coleman) as a kid.  My favorite place was the DQ in town.  First, I loved the "Dude" sandwich with a shake as a kid.  Second, they had a sit-down Galaga and Pac-Man flat top game consol.  And third, for .75 cents, you could get freaky condoms or little paper nudey books in the bathroom from the dispenser on the wall.  

Yeah, have a couple of backpack spraying rigs we keep in the old sea crate.  Becomes a PITA as it's a losing battle.

Back when I as a poor schoolteachers kid, I spent the weekend fishing at Port Alto with my friend and his “rich” farmer dad.  On the way home, he called the Dairy Queen in El Campo on his ranch radio and placed an order.   I thought it was the coolest thing.